Shoving the golden foil ticket into my pocket, I followed Captain deeper inside the cinema. Thankfully there weren't any mutated creatures inside, and it was relatively bright thanks to numerous shattered sky-lights and half of the ceiling being on the floor in a heap of rubble.
image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-h.jpg]
Dead black mushrooms crunched under our feet as we approached the "SNACKS" counter. Here Captain ordered me to "Obtain delicious beverages!" and pranced off, after shoving a slightly burned purple something into my hand. It was a piece of paper that had "100 CAPTAINIA CREDITS" written on it.
For a second, I admired the fine handiwork on the made-up currency. A comical sketch of Captain's head was in the middle, with rays of sunshine emanating from the cap. Underneath it, I read "IN CAPTAIN WE TRUST".
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961741791105144/capteinoter.png [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230147im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961741791105144/capteinoter.png]
I stuffed the 100 CAP-CREDITS into the skeleton cashier's drawer and pondered for a bit whether it would be wise to obtain change, and whether Captain would shout at me for hours that I could not count to fifty-four and that "Calculating and handling the correct tip is zee true gentleman's burden!"
Would Captain harass me for not tipping the dead or slap me for not bringing back change? If I brought back some old coins would I have to endure endless complaints of "The exchange rate just isn't what it used to be!"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961741522677771/csdfsd.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230147im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961741522677771/csdfsd.jpg]
I gave up on guessing and tried to unlock an old, rusty refrigerator. The fridge door didn't budge for a while but finally crashed open, spilling soda cans all over my head. By looking at the labels, I figured the soda must have expired at least 2 decades ago.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961741279404082/65-ENGcsadf.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230147im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961741279404082/65-ENGcsadf.jpg]
Oh well. That's just the age we live in: no more production, only consumption.
The popcorn cart had some sort of withered, black roots growing out of it, webbed and spiky.
image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-k.jpg]
I looked at it in disgust, contemplating how radioactive it was and whether it would be wise to try to dig some black popcorn nuggets out of it to throw at Captain's head (in case demands for popcorn should arise). Annoyingly enough, I wasn't able to find a single straw around the place. I suspected that there was a straw-eating monster somewhere around.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
. . .
Completing the "SNACKS AND BEVERAGES" mission,
I joined Captain in theater number seventeen and a half.
image [http://rom.ac/img/66-enga.jpg]
"Isn't Pilot coming too?" I inquired.
"No. Pilot is on a mission of gravy importance! He and I are going to the 27:11 late night show, and that hour is way past your bed-time. But it is no matter, for I make time for all my juicy minions," Captain declared.
I nodded, agreeing that, yes, it would probably be past my bed-time (unlike Captain, I actually slept 9 solid hours at night). Also, I felt content that I didn't have to deal with Pilot's childishness right now.
Captain pulled out a straw from somewhere, sipping from her mug. I glanced at the clean straw, feeling thirsty.
image [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230147im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1039209607211528282/1040684458124251246/Untitled-11dddd.jpg]
As I listened to the tale of the 'horrid devourer of all and wielder of the Straw that lives in a unicorn-painted van', I shuddered ever so slightly. The story felt like the truth for once. Was Captain really a girl? One that was attacked by a homeless person from a van? It could explain why I've never seen her change in front of me. That sort of childhood trauma left mental scars on a person.
For a few minutes we sat in silence, neither of us willing to speak.
"Oh the movie is about to begin," Captain suddenly boomed dramatically, waving at the dark screen, "Behold! The most glorious performance of twenty second century!"
I settled in my seat, almost excited, hoping that Captain had been able to activate some sort of still-functioning projector, but no, the screen remained pitch black. I complained about the lack of picture, wondering if there had been some kind of mistake, but was shot down with, "What? I can't hear you over the cheers and apple-sauces!
...Broken projector? Oh poor, unsightly snippy! How could you forget your 6D glasses at home! Don't you know that all movies nowadays play in 6 dimensions? Such a pity!
No matter! I'll narrate for you what is happening on screen!"
image [http://rom.ac/img/66-engf2.jpg]
And so Captain went into narration mode, describing all the pre-movie advertisements, and after ten minutes, the "Wildly exciting, mind-boggling, and gripping tale of Captanic, a most true tale of romance in the world of yesterday."
. . .
As Captain rambled on and on, my mind wandered off to what Pilot was up to now...
image [http://rom.ac/img/66-eng.jpg]