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Romantically Apocalyptic Webcomic
34. In which Charles goes on a date to the Cinema

34. In which Charles goes on a date to the Cinema

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002659606323015762/dbpq2py-1e53c366-fb0d-4da2-a58a-1f697e8d4e68.gif [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230040im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002659606323015762/dbpq2py-1e53c366-fb0d-4da2-a58a-1f697e8d4e68.gif]

"MR SNIPPY! I HAVE MOIST-GOOD NEWS!"

image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-a.jpg]

Captain burst through the doors with such intensity that the door hinges erupted right out of the wall. As the dust from the fallen doors settled, I noticed that around Captain's neck dangled something that looked like a golden Oscar statue on a plastic chain. As Captain moved around excitedly it swung back and forth in a most dangerous manner.

"We have been invited to a red carpet preview of Captanic! Your role as cabin boy was satisfactory, but uninspiring. Nevertheless, my bribe of FIFTY jars of jam delivered straight to the judges' mouths worked and we're in!"

image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-b.jpg]

"Eh? What?" I stammered, as Captain laughed merrily and pulled me out of my scrap-tent hidey-hole.

She led me across a road to an old cinema complex, holding tightly onto my hand.

image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-c.jpg]

On the crumbling semi-circular wall of the cinema, I noticed a large battered poster of Titanic, which had the original actor's heads covered up with white paste. In their place were drawn the heads of Captain, Pilot and myself with various crayons and markers.

On the poster, I noted the following: CAPTANIC - THE KINEMATIC KALEIDOSCOPE OF PASSION

STARRING: PILOT AS THAT DASHING FELLOW THAT NEEDS A HAIRCUT, CAPTAIN AS JULIA ROBERTS, SNIPPY AS MISERABLE CABIN BOY.

image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-d.jpg]

On the sign above the entrance was spelled out "CAPtanic - 6D - 11:75 13:94 27:11" I found it slightly cute that none of these viewing times were possible, and mentioned such to Captain.

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Captain dismissed this with a dramatic wave and said, "Greenwich time has been declared obsolete and ineffectual. We are now on Captania time, you silly willy."

Inside the building I discovered a clock with a face that had one hundred digits. Captain must have taken an old clock and modified it for this purpose. It had six hands, which, for some reason, moved at seemingly random intervals.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002959232494207046/64-ENGce.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230040im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002959232494207046/64-ENGce.jpg]

Most interestingly of all, two of the hands were stoically pursuing an anti-clockwise path around the face, which must have taken some serious clockwork-modding skills to accomplish!

Captain strolled directly to the ticket desk and demanded

"THREE GOLDEN VIP TICKETS FOR ELEVENTY-SEVENTEY-FIVEY PREFORMANCE!"

image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-f.jpg]

The skeleton cashier didn't argue, but Captain must have imagined that he did, and so the poor skeleton lost his jaw to the sound of

"DAMN KIDS! NO RESPECT FOR VIPS THESE DAYS! DON'T THEY KNOW WHO I AM?"

image [http://rom.ac/img/5f-g.jpg]

"Clearly not," I voiced, amused by Captain's shenanigans and bellowed demands to:

"SEE THE MANAGER OF ZIS VILE ESTABLISHMENT!"

For a short while, Captain stood resolute, tapping the floor with heavy army boot in an arms-crossed sulk. After no more than twelve seconds, Captain burst into life again and charged straight through the barrier, destroying the ticket desk and its resident skeleton in an explosive cloud of dust, bones and time-worn wooden planks. From out of the dust cloud, a triumphant figure of Captain emerged with three golden pieces of foil and handed one to me.

On it, I read, "CAPTANIC - THEATRE SEVENTEEN AND A HALF - 11:75."

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961742571241602/65-ENGacc.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414230040im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002961742571241602/65-ENGacc.jpg]

"Heh," I muttered, amazed by Captain's dedication to the art of showmanship.

"Now, don't loose your golden pass or you might find yourself trapped outside the theater! Security is adamant about such things these days due to pineapple terrorists." Captain rumbled.