https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002379826994364426/dcezt6m-262e1abf-c130-4eb6-9912-77f72cdb3409.gif [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002379826994364426/dcezt6m-262e1abf-c130-4eb6-9912-77f72cdb3409.gif]
Who is Zee Captain? Let me tell you all about Captain.
...Where to begin?
Well, this morning Captain discovered a pair of old Binoculars and dedicated the entire morning to the "FINE ART OF OGLING LADIES".
Finding non-expired, non-radioactive food? No! Ogling ladies for hours on end is definitely far more important an objective than survival!
image [http://rom.ac/img/3rr/macher.jpg]
"SOON, MY PRECIOUS!"
image [http://rom.ac/img/3rr/billboard.jpg]
"SOON... WE WILL BE TOGETHER!"
Captain proclaimed at a distant billboard that precariously hung on a thousand-floor skyscraper tower.
"I’VE BEEN SEARCHING THE RUINS FOR SUPPLIES ALL FREAKING DAY AND… WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380108616700004/dcezss2-e6068297-e5a1-42a4-81c9-293ae119406a.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380108616700004/dcezss2-e6068297-e5a1-42a4-81c9-293ae119406a.jpg]
I snarled at Captain, annoyed at the utter waste of time that was happening here.
As the answer to my inquiry, Captain handed me a moldy, plastic binder.
I opened it to discover...
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380247452356769/db2bicf-8e39db11-0595-4f75-ada2-2b12d8b5efb1.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380247452356769/db2bicf-8e39db11-0595-4f75-ada2-2b12d8b5efb1.jpg]
Where Captain keeps the antique typewriter that types only in fancy, squiggly capitals, I may never find out.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
"SIGH... ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO THAT BILLBOARD?"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556962639943/dcezrdo-c74b98cf-abfa-45de-a124-fe931cc47d9f.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556962639943/dcezrdo-c74b98cf-abfa-45de-a124-fe931cc47d9f.jpg]
I decided to approach the situation with light sarcasm.
"SHUT UP!"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556727746640/dcezrdi-c546f2d6-4c8a-4886-8fb2-b2679e58866c.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556727746640/dcezrdi-c546f2d6-4c8a-4886-8fb2-b2679e58866c.jpg]
Captain shushed me.
"I CAN'T HEAR WHAT SHE'S SAYING TO ME! IT COULD BE IMPORTANT!"
"THAT ISN'T EVEN A REAL HUMAN BEING, YOU KNOW. YOU'RE TALKING TO A DRAWING. SHE CAN'T ANSWER YOU!"
I mentioned, in an attempt to dislodge Captain from "THE FINE ART OF OGLING".
"HOOMAN ELEMENT, YOU SAY? HRMMMMM...
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556501270548/db2bicm-badcfd8e-48e4-4b1d-995b-8522036b60db.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556501270548/db2bicm-badcfd8e-48e4-4b1d-995b-8522036b60db.jpg]
...ZAT IS INDEED A DIS-PROPORTIONAL PICKLE REQUIRING RESOLUTIONS. SUCH IS TO BE PROCURED IMMEDIATELY!"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556266385498/dcezro2-51feeee5-8026-40f8-8074-d17fe50bee8f.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414234425im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002380556266385498/dcezro2-51feeee5-8026-40f8-8074-d17fe50bee8f.jpg]
Upon this, the BINOCULAR DEVICE turned slowly 180 degrees and rested pointing straight at me. I wondered how long Captain was going to stare at me like that, and whether this was, to either of us, an improvement over the previous situation.
image [http://rom.ac/img/3rr/bolkk.jpg]
"M'YEES... THAT'LL DO..."
Was the last thing I heard before something like a sack of rock-hard potatoes hit me on the back of the head and all went dark.
...