[http://rom.ac/img/108/37-05.jpg]

Hi Steve,

That's your name, right?

...

My name's Pilot. Or "Pi" if we're true friends and you have little time to notify me of an impending disaster.

I can tell we're going to be friends.

My Captain always said life is like a box of chocolates, full of deliciousness!

Sometimes there are instructions on the back of the box about its contents, but this box is rather antiquated and such have been rubbed off entirely.

My captain knows all, for Captain poses mind-buckets filled with sagely wisdoms.

I bet that Captain, being a Wizard of Space-Time and other things can see instructions on the back of the universe, unlike us lowly human-minions for whom the instructions don't always exist.

Personally, I can see through the box if I blink hard enough at it. The words in my head can tell me what each chocolate contains. I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I haven't blinked at this box yet.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

I like surprises. I'd love to share this surprise with you Steve.

I can tell, we're going to be friends.

Captain has been teaching me many exciting things. I think that Zee wants to make me into a Wizard's apprentice. I've been trying to learn very hard how to draw omnicode on Snippy. Captain says that I have potential, due to my mental trauma.

Captain readies us for a great battle with many future evils, such as Eight. She is a nastysome apprentice? of Captain that has gone badly like pineapple soup that's been left out too long in the rain... and now she wants to end the Universe.

When I had met Captain many a moon ago, Zee told me how to avoid the thing that starts with a D behind which Eight is locked away for all time. If she ever gets out for reals, we will have a time of troubles.

Zee told me that Eight can take on many forms, because she is a sinisterly ghostie-girl that made a pact with the Dead Zone. I do not like the Dead Zone. It is itchy and gets everywhere.

Snippy sometime smells like the Dead Zone a lot. I do not trust him because of my refined nose-sense. He seems like the type of a boobie to collaborate with an evildoer like Eight, a real future darkly wizardling if there was one.

I hope that I can help Snippy avoid the path to the spooky side of Eight, because if we fail to awaken the light of Goodness in him, then I will have to cut off his arms and legs and dump him into a volcano, as is tradition.