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On one of the trails between two horribly rusted junk-structures Captain and Pilot discovered what appeared to be an old DVD of the film Titanic. Pilot took this as a "SIGN FROM ABOVE" and declared the ship "CAPTANIC".
image [http://rom.ac/img/56b-A.jpg]
With that, Captain offered me the "Zee most attractive" role of "a cabin boy named Charles, who sadly drowns at the end while looking for his left sock."
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Pilot's three attempts to take said sock left me with exactly two concussions and one sore shoulder, but I managed to defend my clothing from his grabby hands.
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He would have won, had he not been pulling the sled all night.
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I don't know where Pilot gets all this energy. Had I been pulling two people and a bunch of supplies on a heavy sled all night I'd have melted into sweat and dust. I certainly couldn't have pranced around almost successfully stealing other people's socks.
Having given up on harassing me, Captain grabbed Pilot and took him up the rusty stairs to the top deck of the battleship to "Recreate most flavourable scenes from Captanic, zee kitnetoscope preformance!" in an attempt to "Appeal to the desirable au-dental masses, because golden oscars don't just lie on the road like common rocks!"