image [http://rom.ac/img/108/PILOTAVVY.gif]
To:
The Emissary of humanity
Twelfth and a half street,
Apartment Seventy Bee,
Manchester,
Planet Mercury
From:
The desk of Pilot
Train tracks,
City of Eureka,
Planet Earth
Dear Princess Captain,
I have built a shelter in the train yards to rest for the night, but the creatures of the night descended upon it and stole all of my suitcases, except for the one that I was using as my pillow.
image [http://rom.ac/img/dcnorok-5f0949bf-ff4d-4b4f-9421-4f59cac19284.jpg]
I knew I should have constructed an intricate security system of mirrors and LAZORS to keep uninvited guests out!
I want my delicious cupcakes back, real bad. The culprits must have been hideous, giant mosquitoes because I was bothered by loud buzzing all night.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003145135934160906/dcnorny-3bc12409-89b1-43c1-a171-73f81a38bbc9.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132434im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003145135934160906/dcnorny-3bc12409-89b1-43c1-a171-73f81a38bbc9.jpg]
Deprived of breakfast, I decided to seek vengeance and asked my right eye for help. It is not often that I do such, because the eye doesn't always cooperate and sometimes leads me astray into a place that keeps trying to give me a haircut.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003145135682494496/dcnornr-732ad23a-c3d5-4788-aee2-ce0a2d41cac1.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132434im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003145135682494496/dcnornr-732ad23a-c3d5-4788-aee2-ce0a2d41cac1.jpg]
I hate haircuts and places that provide such, with oceanic passion, because of following reasons:
1) The many armed lady always tries to talk to me about the weather and I am in no mood of communication when my externals are being sliced.
2) I don't approve of losing my expensive appendages to sharp blades. Last time I almost lost my ear to the hair disposal chute.
3) I can never decide on what hair style I want. Not even the posters help, they just look at me judgingly with their pretty modely faces.
4) Issue 3 can be resolved if hair-cutting places would posses more artistic flair. To elaborate: they should provide patrons with portraits of how their faces would look with various haircuts instead of asking "How short u want this?"
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5) What kind of length is "Finger-length" exactly? Is that length of my fingers? Or the fingers of the hair-cutter? Finger length is of great variety, you know!
. . .
After severely banging up the house-nest of the giant mosquitoes...
image [http://rom.ac/img/dcnornk-395405ab-dd21-40a4-9cfe-6c5ef75ddb4f.jpg]
...And not discovering my suitcases or cupcakes I came back to the service desk. They still couldn't exchange my train ticket nor provide me with the train schedule/map of the facilities.
image [http://rom.ac/img/dcnornb-76d18643-e42d-42f5-9375-54d6a4ed7177.jpg]
Thusly, I was once again forced to rely on my right eye to tell me which train track to follow.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003145135476985936/dcnormn-f25a3145-a04b-480b-9f6d-20d6f2867860.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132434im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003145135476985936/dcnormn-f25a3145-a04b-480b-9f6d-20d6f2867860.jpg]
...And so, I begun my quest to reach you on foot.
. . .
My right eye is intermitteng-ley telling me to go "Up" or "Right" at random intervals.
[ it has recentley taken upon itself the functionoids of my broken pocket-tiara ]
"This is not time for another haircut or to look at pretty clouds!" I tells it, "We must follow the rails to where they took captain and Mr. Snippey!"
image [http://rom.ac/img/walkpi.jpg]
The eye did not cooperate, passionately throwing off my sense of balance with its conniving instructions.
So I decided to close my eye and follow my nose... Like that song says "Wherever it goes".
And it was a solid decision, because snippy smells faintly of fruity beverage labels.
Along my route on the rails I've made a few new contacts.
One of them was a survatory tank that kept following me and telling me to add it to G-book.
image [http://rom.ac/img/facebook.jpg]
"...And most importantly to never capitalize the letter "G" because that is most illegal, unless when used in conjunction with directorate-approved products!" The tank ranted.
I told the tank that I have no intention of capitalizinG the letter "G", but the tank must have discovered my improper Grammar, because its locators piped up and screeched:
"Unauthorized grammar detected! A [Good-day] team has been dispatched to your address for reeducation, followed by a free and painless cranial implant to prevent further disobedience. Have a lovely evening."
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003147979504496640/survv.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132434im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003147979504496640/survv.jpg]
"Good-team n-ot ava-ilable. Re-allocating pri-orities. Prio-rities re-allocated. Target re-confirmed!" With this speechery, the tank decided to open fire on my person.
image [http://rom.ac/img/boomfire.jpg]
Being on fire is not fun and I try to avoid it.
Sometimes (even when I am really trying not to) I catch fire accidentally anyway, but this time it was entirely this bloobbery taunk's fault!
I avoided the tank by shouting "Never take children's mascots advice lightly!"
Which has minorly distractered it and sped away, jumping in between the shadows, because everyone knows that automaton tanks cannot serveyor shadows very well, lacking the processing capabilities.
Also, as captain tells me, I am a very good ninja.
image [http://rom.ac/img/hidein.jpg]
"Unauthorized train derailing has been detected! ...Use of extreme force and or weaponry has been authorized!" The tank grumbled at my back.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003147979231875162/yeeylook.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132434im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003147979231875162/yeeylook.jpg]
...But I sneakily eluded it rather well by being very still!