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Romantically Apocalyptic Webcomic
51. In which I try to explain things but Charles refuses to listen

51. In which I try to explain things but Charles refuses to listen

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003515708405190736/ceecccca.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230828132432im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1003515708405190736/ceecccca.jpg]

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[Captain's log : Entry five-one-Charles]

"You! You left me upside down in the train!" The fourth Citizen of Captania rumbled angrily, staring me down.

I checked his stats and discovered that this was indeed [Charles Snippy], my lost fourth citizen. The blue tag on my glove extracted from his citizenship app pulsated with warmth, happy to be closer to its User.

Charles didn't seem to notice the burrowing-worm sitting next to me as the pup's defenses were still on. She had been quite terrified by Eight and was exuding a [please-don't-notice-me] field. It didn't affect me as she was now officially my pet and the fifth Citizen of Captania.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" The man asked irritably, his eyebrows askew.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I got distracted."

"Distracted?" Mr. Snippy barked. "Distracted with what?"

"I guided the forgetful children of the Metro Station to a better tomorrow," I said. "Just like I guide everyone to..."

"Are these children made up like the needy children to whom you and Pilot keep trying to gift my things to?" He asked, tapping his foot angrily.

"All of the children I speak of are real, I assure you!" I said.

"I doubt it," he huffed. "You're seriously the most absent-minded girl I know. Where would you even be without me?"

I sighed, rubbing my elbow. I examined Charles once again. He had a new gun and a bunch of stuff filling his Tour Guide uniform's pockets to near bursting. In the brief period of time he was away from me he had accumulated many stolen things, broke many laws.

"You have to stop breaking the law, Snippy," I said sternly. "The doomsday field hanging over you is getting worse."

"Huh?" The Tour Guide turned back to me.

"Return the things you've stolen and pay for them properly with Captania credits. Be a Good citizen, for Goodness sake!" I insisted.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"This again?" Charles said, the eyebrows of his goggles moving to replicate his annoyed expression. "Not going to happen. You have to stop taking my guns away. The wasteland is NOT safe. Unbury your head out of your delusions for once! There are monsters all around that will eat you if I don't protect you."

"You don't know anything, Mr. Snippy," I huffed. I didn't know what Eight had done to Charles and I feared the worst.

"I know plenty," he replied briskly.

"Do you perchance feel that something is off?" I asked him.

"Off how?"

"Do any of your organs feel infinite?"

"Uhhhh... what?"

"Too big to fit into your body," I clarified.

"What?"

I eyed the Tour Guide with Greater Evaluation. Nothing seemed terribly out of place or inflated beyond reason. Maybe Eight didn't break him horribly. Maybe she didn't have enough time. Maybe she had no nefarious plans for Charles Snippy.

"Charles, do you mind if I label you?" I inquired.

"Label me?" He blinked.

"With my Chalk Of Labeling," I said. "It'll help me keep track of you. Just give me your hand."

"Sure whatever," Charles put a hand down onto the table.

[Property of Captain] I wrote on his hand. I tapped my watch with the Chalk of Labeling and exhaled. There. Now I would always know exactly where my fourth citizen was at. I had to up my game, had to outdo Eight in whatever dangerous game she had going.

As I finished labeling the watch and Charles, the puppy quietly slithered away to the little girl's room. Her defense field was about to come down and the poor dear was probably embarrassed to show her grime-covered face to a stranger.

Charles stared at the writing on his hand. "I'm your property?"

"If I don't claim you, someone else will," I explained.

"Who?" The Tour Guide tilted his head.

"My... daughter," I sighed. "She's not a very good person, you see. Always trying to break rules. Pretty sure she's to blame for my temporary forgetfulness of your handsome visage. She's messed up my entire Ever-schedule, unslotted you out of it completely."

"You have... a daughter?" Charles blinked, ignoring my complement.

"Well, technically she's not mine alone. All of us made her to accommodate for the impossible things that everyone was asking for, you see," I tried to explain.

"Who's all of us?" The next question came.

"Me and my wonderful coworkers, Goodness rest their weary, tuckered souls..."

"Yep," Charles shook his head, interrupting my explanations. "I honestly don't know what I expected. I lost track of any sense in your words about a minute ago."

"My Words have plenty of sense," I defended myself. "More sense and might than anyone..."

"I don't know how you fixed the power in this restaurant," Charles eyed the flickering halogen bulb above us. "But I'm glad that you did. It was the only lit building in the city, so I decided to check it out and here you were... just as I expected."

"I didn't fix the li..." I started to speak.

"Good job on fixing the power here. I'm going to the bathroom," Charles rudely interrupted me again.

I watched him depart from my table with a frown. Why was he so G-damn obtuse about things? My explanation was perfectly legible. Everyone else understood me just fine. Especially Pilot. Pilot understood what I was doing right away.

I checked the tags on my glove. They felt warm. Pi and Kittyhawk were about to catch up with us.

The black and white uniformed Tour Guide was swung the door of the washroom open. He had chosen the female bathroom as the male one was blocked by a fallen, ice-covered beam.

"Wait! The puppy is in..." I tried to stop him.

Alas, I was too late. Charles had bumped into the lovely burrowing-worm in the bathroom entrance and then he started to scream.