image [http://rom.ac/img/108/PILOTAVVY.gif]
Even though...
I wasn't born "A little girl in a strange and forgotten country formerly known as Germany."
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dbi5zpb-cba77b37-e10b-4a34-b4d3-7aff9ce697b0.jpg]And I can't magically transcend space-time.https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665675778703400/dbi5zq4-139751d2-6fc2-4e2a-8e0e-7400530aa1c9.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224909im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665675778703400/dbi5zq4-139751d2-6fc2-4e2a-8e0e-7400530aa1c9.jpg]
Someday I want to grow up to be just like Captain...
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dbi5zqp-ce1a649e-67f7-48ec-b52c-a52dcf5fe7ff.jpg]
For surely even a micro-second realization of Captain-ness would make me one with the universe.https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665685702422618/dbi5z7k-9de99d3f-da0e-4cea-b532-5da45b313edd.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224909im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665685702422618/dbi5z7k-9de99d3f-da0e-4cea-b532-5da45b313edd.jpg]
I would share the dogmas of Captainia with all peoples of all colors,
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dbi5z6q-1d8dfdf8-4d13-4f83-8c3a-c2f497561674.jpg]
BUT MY ONLY CAPTIVE AUDIENCE IS SNIPPY!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665699610730597/2b.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224909im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665699610730597/2b.jpg]
And even worse, he is only captive because I tied him to a couch while he slept. I caught him because he got tired from running away from the Door. The silly willy thought he could just run, when all he had to do was ignore her. But alas, he is an exceptionally dumb cookie and never listens to the Voice of Truth and Wisdom.
Snippy refuses to believe in Zee Church of Captain, no matter how many educational pamphlets I leave in his pockets.
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665713984614562/dbifh1f-7267da76-a585-4ba7-952d-f7a859020fc5.jpg [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224909im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002665713984614562/dbifh1f-7267da76-a585-4ba7-952d-f7a859020fc5.jpg]
Because he calls himself "Atheist".
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dbifh0u-fa53fbde-737a-4f5d-9eb8-7b4af8cf21d0.jpg]
Such dirty, crummy words he speaks. Had I some Captain-approved soaps on me, I would wash his filthy mouth with thems.
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dbifh0c-2099583f-ddbe-432d-8137-5f7ae4ca7daf.jpg]
I covered kitty-hawk's ears. Nobody should grow up to be like snippy.
"Let me go, G-damn you!" He whines.
But I shan't let him go for his ignorance will be his undoing. Just look where he is now - tied to a couch and yelling obscenities!
I am now fully convinced that snippy has been deceived by the dead ones, because his neck smells funny.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002666936418713600/biosnipss.gif [https://web.archive.org/web/20230414224909im_/https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/972564269390503976/1002666936418713600/biosnipss.gif]
SNIPPY WHINES THAT CAPTAIN IS...
"TROLLING YOU AND MAKING STUFF UP!"
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dciowlc-262c3fab-7ad5-4a6a-a0d3-410cd9feb8f7.jpg]
"NAY, UNWASHED UNBELIEVER!" I TELL HIMS. "CAPTAIN LIVES NOT UNDER BRIDGES!
image [http://rom.ac/img/rr7/dbkmwmv-c053cb8a-b1ea-4615-a5b7-18609da238fc.jpg]
"CAPTAIN IS ELEVATED ABOUT THE WEARY MASSES BY GRAVELY WISDOM AND EVEN GRAVER RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF COUNTLESS PROBLEMS IN COUNTLESS WORLDS! CAPTAIN WORKS HARDER THEN ALL OF US PUT TOGETHER SO THAT WE CAN PERSIST UPON THIS WEARY EARTH!"
I insist with a tick-tock in my heart.
Alas, Snippy does not listen. Snippy ignores my sagely verbiage. He is a very difficult nut to crack and his insolence is wearing my patience down to the very bone. My joints itch verily to give him a Goodly pummeling.
I try to think of what Captain would do...