「…Awawawawawawawawa…」
Cycelia continues jittering, shaking, and trembling in her throne, still holding her empty hands up as if to hold the map that already fell to her lap.
「…Lia?」
Straf tilts his head, leaning over slightly with a puzzled, lightly concerned look on his face.
「…Wa… Wa… Y- You mean we're at war, and you've captured the king!? The king of Parnatau Kingdom!? You just left a few days ago!」
Straf's face with a raised brow in her vision makes Cycelia snap out of her loop. She points her dainty, shaking finger at the fat king below, staring at Straf with her giant emerald eyes.
「Yeah. Surprising, isn't it? Even more surprising that it wasn't me who uttered the W-word… Anyway, what do we call this thing? It's a pretty quick war…」
He nods, then begins facetiously rubbing his chin as he pretends to ponder his question.
「Eh?…」
Snap!
Cycelia furrows her brows, but her attention is stolen by Straf's hand as he snaps his fingers in front of her face.
「…Likely!… Lightning war. Get it? 'Cause lightning is blink and you'll miss it. I'm good at staring competitions.」
Straf points at her face then brings his hands back up, slowly fanning them out as he presents the working title of the new war type. When done, he places them back in his pockets, grinning.
「…Queen Redwing, am I understanding things correctly? You did not give the order for your forces to invade my kingdom?」
King Parnatau asks, lightly spreading his hands, wary of the soldiers around him.
「N- No, I did not, but…」
She shakes her chestnut head in response, then turns her green gaze to Straf.
「…Straf! I thought you were taking goods to Parnatau Kingdom to trade them! Why did you have an army with you!?」
Cycelia asks with a tight-lipped grimace, pointing her hands at the king below.
「To protect the valuables.」
Straf nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders.
「I was told your envoy brought carts of manure.」
The king chimes in, causing Straf's mouth to tilt to the side.
「Manure!? From cows!? That's what we went to buy!?」
Cycelia exclaims in shock, blinking at Straf.
「And bulls. Do not underestimate the value of natural fertilizers, Lia. You'd be surprised as to how much pure bullshit goes for. It's the future of farming, Lia, and it's a hill I'm willing to die on.」
Straf quickly corrects her, then shrugs his hands and shoulders with a smirk, before returning his hands back to his pockets.
「Speaking of death… Your highness, it appears your official has overstepped his authority. With some reparations and consistent repayment of the gold owed, I'm willing to forgive this incident…」
King Parnatau declares, straightening out and adjusting his robe disheveled by the troops' rough handling. Cycelia lets out a covert sigh of relief.
「…But first I will need to see a gesture of goodwill from your side.」
He adds, looking up at Cycelia with an indignant look on his face.
「I think that's reasonable, yes…」「Liaaa… Seriously?…」
With an awkward smile on her face, Cycelia quickly nods her head in agreement. Straf's shoulders slump, and with his brows heavily furrowed, he spreads his disappointed hands at his sides.
「…Would a grand feast do? I'd spare no expense to please you-」
She looks at the king's wide, rotund body and tilts her head. He raises his hand, shaking his jiggling cheeks left and right
「Nonsense. Mere food wouldn't solve this. I recognize that you don't have much to give a man of my stature, but I can be satisfied in another way…」
The fat man cuts her off, then points his bloated finger at Straf.
「…I want to see that man's head roll. I understand you have laws against torturous deaths and whatnot, but surely an exception can be made?」
He adds, inquisitively throwing his hand up. Straf scoffs, and looks at the king with a ridiculing smirk on his face.
Straf then briefly glances at Cycelia. He double-takes when he sees her head lowered, and her face serious, despite being mostly obscured.
「…I think you misunderstand your position, King Parnatau.」
Cycelia declares as she raises her head. Her emerald eyes glare at the fat king, but her face is mostly expressionless, perhaps only a little disdainful.
「Pardon?…」
Confused by the complete reversal in the queen's tone, the king's head shakes a little as he furrows his brows.
「It's true, I did not order Straf to invade you. I am not a warmonger. I've upset the regional balance enough by vassalizing Telas Kingdom. I like stability. Stability is good for the kingdom…」
She says, still glaring at the fat man with an indiscernible expression on her face. Straf furrows his brows, somewhat surprised by the stern tone of her voice strongly contrasting with her usual one.
「…But then you insult me with a smug smile on your face, mistaking my peace-loving attitude for weakness. I extend a hand of peace towards you, and you swat it away because I am a woman…」
Cycelia grips onto her armrests, squeezing it in her hand. Straf's gaze darts between the two while he listens.
「N- No, that's-」
「Silence. You even dared to interrupt me at my own court. It's true, a woman on the throne is associated with a time of weakness…」
The king tries to explain himself, but Cycelia raises her voice, not quite shouting, simply speaking loudly. He quickly shrinks, retracting his head like a scared turtle.
「…I've sent this message time and time again. From Rankor Kingdom, through the robber barons, to Telas Kingdom… It seems my statement did not reach yours yet…」
Her lip twitches, and Cycelia's face shows hints of anger cracking through. Straf watches on with a tight-lipped grimace, remaining quiet.
「…There are no weak rulers of the Redwing dynasty. Dragon blood flows through us. I will make this clear with pride, and as many times as necessary. Your kingdom will serve as a fine example.」
「…P- Pardon?」
Cycelia declares with a loud voice, once again on the brink of shouting, this time with distinct anger in her voice. King Parnatau stammers, gulping nervously as she glares daggers at him.
「Have you heard of this old saying, King Parnatau? Glory to the victor, woe to the vanquished. It was not Straf who declared this war. Your men did.」
「Yeah, that's true…」
She asks, tilting her head, still bearing a deceitfully calm expression on her face, glaring at the king. Straf quietly agrees, nodding along.
「He- He brought carts of manure! That's an insult! Of course they'd declare war!」
As he attempts to defend himself, King Parnatau points his fat finger at Straf again, fiercely shaking it.
「And yet, I would not wage war over an insult. They were convinced they'd win, and they were wrong. Were they not? You wanted to see a gesture of good will, and rejected my idea of a feast…」
She rests her cheek on her fist, inquisitively raising her brows as she asks him a rhetorical question.
「…Here's a better idea. Swear fealty to me, and you will keep your life.」
Cycelia raises her hand, and points it at the king, staring at him with a serious and disdainful glare on her face. The plumed guards and soldiers beside the king look at her with furrowed brows.
「W- What!? That's preposterous!…」
Outraged, anger briefly flashes on the fat man's pudgy face. Cycelia nods her head while looking directly at one of the soldiers gripping onto his sword's hilt.
Ssssssshhhhwwwiiiiing…
The footman draws his sword with an ominous sound of a sword being drawn.
「Ah. There it is again…」
Straf remarks while looking at the weapon with a bored gaze and a tight-lipped grimace.
「Get your hands off of me!」
Thud.
After a brief struggle, the soldiers force the king to his knees. The ground rumbles, and his protruding belly visibly jiggles beneath his fancy robe.
「Well? Do you accept? I understand if you refuse… You wanted to see heads roll, after all.」
Cycelia asks, throwing her hand up before dropping it to her lap. The soldier raises his sword over his head, prepared to swing it down at the king's fat neck. The rest lean out of the way.
「…Y- You can't do this. We're still at war. If you kill me, my generals will organize my forces, and the regent will take over in the name of my son! You'll be cutting off your own nose!」
Visibly frightened but still angry, the king shouts back. The man wielding the sword looks to Cycelia. She is visibly unimpressed by the king's reply.
「…Perhaps your son is wiser than you. Do you accept? It's a simple question.」
She asks in a stern, scornful tone. The footman readjusts his grip on his sword.
「I… Nobody will recognize this.」
King Parnatau looks up at the sword looming over him, gulps, then returns his wide-open eyes to Cycelia. She becomes visibly frustrated with his continued non-answers.
《Good grief… She's going to get the fancy new carpet dirty…》
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Straf lets out a sigh, and takes a step down.
「Eh? Straf?…」
「Okaaay!… I have a better solution.」
Seeing Straf approach the king, Cycelia's tone snaps back to her usual soft, warm voice. Still locked in her previous pose, she blinks her confused emerald eyes at him as he speaks.
「…Since this asshole really doesn't want to give his kingdom up, and knowing you, you really don't want to lop his head off, how about you meet in the middle?」
Straf asks Cycelia, spreading his arms with his back towards the kneeling king.
「…We cut off a little bit?」
She tilts her head and furrows her brows. The king's eyes widen further.
「Wh-? No, how did you come to that conclusion?…」
Briefly stunned, Straf shakes his head in confusion.
「…How about you sign a contract stating that this fat asshole keeps his kingdom, but he's contractually obliged to serve you… And when the cholesterol gets him, his son becomes your vassal.」
He asks, pointing his hand down at the fat man.
「Cholesterol?…」
The king furrows his brows, narrowing his eyes at Straf, who visibly rolls his eyes.
「Buddy, you think all that tasty stuff is good for you? I'm not exactly an example for a healthy lifestyle, but at least I had no illusion all those energy drinks wouldn't kill me sooner or later…」
「Huh?…」
「…My point is, you sign this contract, you technically get to tell people that you're a sovereign ruler, but… You will be functionally a vassal.」
Straf goes on, explaining the rest of the contract. Both the king's and the queen's faces become puzzled.
「…But how does it change anything? I will still be a subservient ruler!」
The king exclaims, trying to spread his hands, but the soldiers restrain him.
「That's right. But you don't really care about that, right? You just care about your pride, and about your ass being surrounded by gold. You will still have that, and I-」
Scoffing, Straf shrugs his shoulders and smirks down at the king.
「We… Will have unrestricted access to your kingdom, as far as normal vassalage goes. How about it? If not…」
Straf quickly corrects himself, then leans over and places his hand on the king's broad shoulder.
「…Well. It wouldn't be the first time the carpet in this room got real dirty.」
Pat.
Briefly glancing over his shoulder at Cycelia, Straf adds with a snide smirk, pats the man's shoulder, then straightens out. King Parnatau looks at the sword hanging over him again, then the carpet.
「I… Fine!… On a condition!」
The king declares, managing to slip his fat wrist out of the loosened grasp of the soldier holding him. He holds his fat finger up, staring at Cycelia with a tight-lipped grimace.
「Tsk… You still want to argue about this?-」
Straf clicks his tongue and looks down at the king with a mouth heavily scrunched to the side.
「Straf, wait!… Let's hear him, at least.」
Cycelia calls out, interrupting him, then twiddles her thumbs nervously in her lap. The king lets out a sigh of relief.
「…I will agree to this, if I get to keep my army! I don't want to be invaded again under the guise of vassalage!」
The fat king declares, and Straf glances over his shoulder at Cycelia, who shrugs.
「Fine. But!… No drafts. Everyone in the army has to be a volunteer or paid. No levymen.」
Straf raises his own finger, adding an addendum to the contract.
「…Fine, my army is like this anyway!」
The king hesitates, searching for a trick, but then nods his head.
「Right. In that case, you will be also barred from forcing your peasants to stay in your kingdom. They'll be free to leave for ours whenever they feel like it, to work, trade, or otherwise.」
Straf nods back, then raises his finger and adds another addendum. The king's head jerks back in outrage.
「But… But then you'll drain my entire kingdom dry of citizenry! That's not a fair agreement!」
「In return, the same will go for Redwing Kingdom. The citizens will be able to go to your kingdom and work there, if they feel like it. Is that fair?」
He protests, and Straf replies, spreading his hands with his brows raised.
「…Seems fair enough.」
After briefly rubbing his chins with a grimace of suspicion on his face, King Parnatau eagerly nods.
「One last thing… Two, rather… Since that might bring excessive profit to your kingdom, you will tax it, and a portion of the tax will go to our coffers as dictated by law. In gold. Fair?」
「Sounds reasonable.」
Straf asks, and the king nods along. Cycelia listens, slowly furrowing her brows more and more.
「And finally…」
Placing his fists on his hips, Straf draws in a large breath.
「…What the fuck is with your money, dude? Aren't you embarrassed? Is that the best design money could buy?… Seriously…」
Exasperated, Straf throws his hands up, shaking his head in disapproval as he returns his fists to his hips.
「…You will not use those pieces of shit anymore. Drakes will be your official currency. End of. I will not yield on this point, and if you won't either, chop chop.」
He declares, and motions a chopping motion with the edge of his hand against his palm. A tight-lipped grimace appears on the king's face again.
「Very well. To be frank, I thought the notes were botched, too…」
King Parnatau nods his head, and reluctantly admits, turning his ashamed gaze away.
「Ah, some self-awareness… We almost killed off a rare specimen, Lia, but now we can keep him in our zoo! Lucky!」
Straf scoffs, and grins over his shoulder at Cycelia.
「What's a zoo?…」「…What's a zoo?」
They both ask, almost at the same time.
「Not important at this time. Give me a moment to write up a draft. You'll sign it, and then Lia will throw a feast for the people.」
「Huh? I will?」
Straf declares with a shrug of his arms, then turns to leave the throne room. Cycelia tilts her head.
「Of course, Lia! You need to condition the people for stuff like this! Ring the bell and make them drool!」
Snap.
Straf snaps his fingers and points at her as he exits into the hallway. She blinks at her feet, confused.
「…What bell?」
Cycelia asks under her breath, furrowing her brows further…
…
At the same time, in the late afternoon, in the north Eastern Kingdoms…
Falcon is following a dirt trail, gripping onto his curving sword's hilt. The low, nearly winter sun shines through the clouds, a weak light onto the devastation. What was once a village now lies in scorched ruins, with only a few elements at most left standing. A small storage shed here, and outhouse there, a stable elsewhere… He feels eyes watch over him while passing by the very few small and undamaged buildings. He will look towards one of the toolsheds, and see a pair of nervous eyes peeking out.
「Hmpf… If this is what he meant… They're not doing a very good job.」
An amused huff escapes Falcon's nose as he turns his smirk towards the ground, lightly shaking his head, and refusing to look towards the toolshed at his side as he walks by.
The shed's doors crack open ever so slightly, and a pair of nervous human eyes peek out, then quickly retreat.
Falcon continues onward. His gaze cautiously scans over the horizon, darting left and right every few moments, glancing over his armor-covered shoulder, too. The ruins of the village end, and he continues onward. For a prolonged moment, though no longer than five minutes, he hears nothing but the leaves on the floor rustling, carried by a gentle wind. The leafless forest and hills flanking him limit his visibility somewhat, but not enough to be immediately ambushed from their side.
His gaze shoots up, and a woman in torn rags emerges from the crest of one of the low hills. She runs as fast she can, clutching onto her heavily pregnant belly. Gripping onto his sword's hilt, Falcon watches the woman running towards him like a hawk, but after a moment, his wary stance eases out, and he lets the sword go. Nearing him, the sobbing woman tries to choke some words out, but fails. She reaches her badly scratched and bruised hands out towards him, and clings onto his armor.
「…Y- Y- You…」
She says between sobs, trying her hardest to speak.
「Calm down. I'm from her Divine Embodiment's palace. What happened?」
Falcon asks in a calm but firm tone, gripping onto the woman's shoulders in an attempt to calm her.
「…You were meant to come alone… You were meant to come alone… You were meant to come alone…」
「W- What?… What are you talking about?」
A wave of unease washes over Falcon as the woman sobs, repeating herself over and over. She slumps to her knees, lowered gently by him.
「…You were meant to come alone… I'm sorry, th- They told me I'll be free to go if I tell you this… You were meant to come alone… I'm sorry… Don't let them take me back, please…」
「What?…」
The woman explains through sobs, apologizing and begging while clutching onto his leg armor. Falcon's eyes widen as his head perks up. He jumps away, ripping himself out of her grasp.
「Wait here! I will come back for you!…」
Clakclakclakclakclakclakclak!
Falcon turns and sprints back, clutching onto his sheath, lamellar plates on his armor clattering.
He crosses the distance back to the village in just a brief moment, and slides to a stop at the toolshed. Very quickly, he notices copious amounts of blood flowing out. He reaches for the handles.
Crreak-thud!
Throwing the shed's doors open, he looks inside. Two men, dressed in the black clothing of the palace's elite guard lie completely dismembered in a pile of gore amidst claw marks in the wood.
「Fuck!…」
He curses out, turning away with a jerk of his head, clenching his teeth in anger.
「…Tsk.」
After a frustrated sigh, he clicks his tongue and sprints back to the woman on the road…