「Well, in that case, ladies and gentlemen, the next match is the one you have been waiting for! The immovable object versus the unstoppable force! Roland! The Wall! Versus! Straf! Katastrof! Vindict!」
The announcer distinctly shouts out each part of Straf's name, resulting in loud cheers and clapping.
「Contestant Roland has proven that the slow and steady approach of tiring out your enemy works flawlessly! It did not work on Trollborn Jom as much, as it did on his weapon! Still, contestant Straf has not yet dealt with an opponent solely dedicated to defense! How will he handle the new situation!?」
The announcer floats a rhetorical to the audience, and spots Roland the Wall walk into the arena with his trusty shield. Visibly dented but holding strong, he displays its battle-damage proudly to the crowd, and lifts his armored fist up. The spectators cheer, and he slams the shield down in the center of the arena, once again stacking his gauntlets on top of its edge.
「And here he is! Roland the Wall! A guard, a soldier, an adventurer, and a mercenary! Is a tournament winner the next title on his growing list!? While we await contestant Straf, here is some more trivia! Roland has said, that he will invest the gold from the tournament… In himself! He plans to buy another shield to become invincible! Ah, there's contestant Straf!」
The announcer points his palm to Straf as he walks in, his hand in his pocket and his sword on his shoulder. The crowd goes wild. Whistling, clapping, cheering. The announcer receives a folded paper from a man that arrives behind him. He unfolds it, and skims through the contents quickly.
「Ladies and gentlemen! Both of our contestants have arrived, but the betting period will remain open for a while longer! Take your time to consider which of the combatants will come out on top! In the meantime, here's some trivia on contestant Straf!」
The announcer takes a look at his paper, and his head perks up in surprise. He looks over his shoulder at the man standing behind him. The announcer's brows furrow, and he appears unsure what to do next.
「Well ladies and gentlemen, Straf has said that he's here to 「Break this tournament.」 and it seems he's well on his way to doing just that! When we asked what he's going to do, supposing he wins the grand prize, he said, he uh…」
The announcer once again looks over his shoulder at the man behind him.
「I'm not sure I should say this… Contestant Straf may get himself into trouble. It seems a little… Incendiary?」
With his arms crossed, the man behind the announcer nods at him.
「Well. Supposing that he wins the grand prize, Straf will 「Kill the king.」 he said.」
The announcer looks up at the audience, partially expecting a riot, or at least some form of unrest to break out. A few of the spectators cough, some others have their arms crossed as they stare down at him from the auditorium. The announcer shrugs.
「Well, moving on… Straf has said that he has been neither a mercenary, or a soldier, or an adventurer until only a few days ago. Straf has, apparently, been a writer his whole life! If his pen is mightier than his sword, then what of his fists!?」
「Hold on, pen? I've been writing with a fucking quill the whole time I was here!」
Indignant, Straf's eyes narrow as he shouts at the announcer, too quiet to be heard.
「Ladies and gentlemen! The betting period is about to end! Place your bets now!」
The announcer cautions, and Straf looks at the large armored man in front of him with a smug smirk.
「Hey, what were your parents feeding you?」
He asks Roland who stands behind his shield like a suit of armor on display.
「Meat.」
Roland replies with a gruff, reverberating voice through his closed helmet.
「I can see that. Never skipped a meal, huh? Daddy always got the belt out as a reward?」
Straf asks, spreading his hands out. Roland doesn't respond, and only tilts his helmet a little.
「Combatants, ready yourselves! Roland the Wall! Versus! Straf Katastrof Vindict!」
The announcer lifts his arms, and the audience goes silent. Straf looks up into the auditorium, his eyes searching for Cycelia. It doesn't take long at all for him to find her. He locks his distant gaze with her, and points at Roland, who is now holding his shield up. Straf jabs the thin air in front of him while looking at Cycelia. She covers her mouth, waving her other hand at Straf and shaking her head in apparent fit of laughter.
「Fight!」
Gonnnnnnnnnnggggg…
Roland covers behind his shield, like a turtle. Straf simply waits with his hand in his pocket, smirking at his opponent. Neither of them move for over a minute.
「Ladies and gentlemen… It seems like the bout has turned into a waiting game! Who will be the first one to attack!?」
The announcer is a little perplexed neither of the fighters are too keen on trading blows. Roland peeks his armored eyes out from above the shield.
「What? I have a sword, so I'm supposed to come to you? What's next? I'm handsome, so I'm supposed to be the good guy? Come on, take a few steps towards me, get your exercise in, fatass!」
Straf spreads his arms and mocks Roland with a huge, derisive grin and narrowed eyes.
「I'm not fat!」
Roland protests, audibly angry behind his helmet.
「Yeah? Prove it! I'm the living proof high charisma doesn't make your alignment good, why don't you prove BMI is bullshit?」
「What the fuck is bee-emi!?」
「It's the natural enemy of fat fucks like you. Weighing scales are like landmines to your kind-」
「I'm not fat! I'm muscular!」
Roland screams back at Straf, who scoffs in response. Roland lifts his shield and charges at his opponent.
「Yeah, that's what they all say. That, or hyperthyroi-」
Straf mocks Roland further, shaking his head with a giant grin and closed eyes. The familiar sensation makes Straf's eyes snap open. He leisurely steps out of the charging armored giant's way. Roland zooms past him, shoving his shield out at the empty space Straf occupied a second ago.
「Ladies and gentlemen! Looks like Roland decided to go on the offensive! Straf is once again effortlessly toying with his opponent, but does he have enough power to break through Roland's defenses!?」
The crowd cheers as the battle proper begins. Straf circles around to Roland's rear, bullying him further.
「The Wall? Who's going to be intimidated with a handle like that? Women!? Tantruming teenage boys punch walls all the time!」
「Shut up! I didn't pick that nickname!」
Roland takes heavy, rumbling steps towards Straf, keeping his shield up and out. Straf looks down as the ground beneath his feet tremors more and more.
「You're literally causing earthquakes. Seriously, lose some fucking weight. Your heart is working overtime to pump through all that chol-」
「I am not faaaat!!」
Roland jabs the edge of his shield at Straf's head, same as his fight against Jom. Straf simply walks around Roland again, and his [Contextual Time Perception] deactivates as soon as he is out of danger. Straf lifts his sword high up, and slashes at Roland's head…
…Only to pause at the last second, slow his arm down, and let gravity do rest of the work while Roland is still confused as to where his enemy went.
Donk!
「Urgh! You son of a-!」
Straf's blunt iron sword impacts against Roland's helmet, with a terrible dull noise of metal on metal. The giant clutches onto his head, and stumbles forward with a pained grunt. The crowd cheers on Straf's inhumanely quick movements.
「Ladies and gentlemen, it seems combatant Straf is going easy on his opponent! He has delivered only a single hit- Straf has just sheathed his sword! Is he going to punch Roland!?」
The announcer notes the sudden development. Straf spreads his empty hands, his sword back in his sheath. Roland slams his shield's edge on the ground multiple times in fury.
「You son of a bitch! I'll snap you in half! Let's see how fast you are, when I grind you into a fucking paste under my shield!」
The armored man screams in white-hot anger at Straf, who's chuckling with his hands in his pockets and grinning ear to ear.
「Hey, I never called this strength versus dexterity. You're beneath me strength-wise, intelligence-wise, charisma, of course…」
「Why don't you stop running, and we'll see how tough you are then!?」
Roland beats his fist on his shield as Straf focuses on him with a serious, disdainful expression.
Roland Wayland
[|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||] Lv. 16
Strength: 38 Perception: 10
Agility: 5 Endurance: 68
Dexterity: 5 Willpower: 11
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
Luck: 11 Intelligence: 8
Charisma: 11 Wisdom: 10
「Yeah, why not? Ever wondered what it'd be like to fly?」
Straf shrugs, his face gains a malicious smirk. He looks at Cycelia, and when she notices he's looking at her, she starts shaking her head and giggling again.
「Ever wondered what it'd be like to be dead!?」
Roland slams his shield's edge on the sandy dirt, carving a prominent channel in the ground.
「Yeah, when editing. A fitting comeback for someone with 8 intelligence.」
Straf shrugs with his hands, shooting a confusing insult back in response to the threat. Roland lets out a ferocious war cry, and charges at Straf again. Straf's [Contextual Time Perception] activates, and he grabs onto the shield's edges, bracing himself.
He slides backwards as the armored hulk rams into him. However, Straf is still holding onto the shield, and his feet are digging out channels in the arena's ground as they oppose each other.
「Ladies and gentlemen, can you believe it!? Contestant Straf has decided to test his might against his giant enemy! Roland is truly a like a workhorse, and he's still pushing Straf away!」
The announcer points to the two below, and the spectators go rabid. The excited screams of the audience only intensify when Straf side-steps, still holding onto the shield.
「Sorry, fat fuck! We're not doing sumo today!」
Straf shouts at his enemy, pulling at the shield as he hops further sideways. Roland goes from pushing, to being pulled. He grips onto his shield harder, trying to rip it away from Straf, but his opponent only keeps spinning him sideways faster, and faster.
Roland stumbles as the speeds involved become too much for him. However, he's not intent on letting go of the shield regardless. He trips, falling onto the dirt. Much to his, and everyone else's surprise, this does not make Straf stop his spin.
「Ladies and gentlemen, contestant Straf is swinging his opponent around like a flail! Who could have expected this of a man his size, and the size of contestant Roland!?」
The announcer points to Straf, who is now swinging the screaming armored giant around like a child who got a little too ahead of himself on a playground's carousel. Roland is screaming, the crowd is screaming in excitement, and Cycelia is covering her face with her hands, laughing.
Finally, Roland's grip on the shield gives in to the centrifugal forces. The huge man flies off with a Doppler-shifted scream, and crashes into the wall just beneath one of the private booths. The entire arena goes silent as Straf looks over his new possession with curiosity.
「Uh. Ladies and gentlemen… Is Roland- Ah! Roland is getting up! Contestant Roland is not out!」
The announcer points to Roland on the dirt, beneath a large crack in the arena's wall. Straf raises his brows as the armored man shakily lifts himself up to all-fours, then to his feet.
「Ladies and gentlemen! Contestant Roland has been disar- Er, de-shielded! This is not against the rules! And whatever is not outside the rules, is within the rules! How does contestant Roland plan to win this match!? We shall see!」
The crowd goes wild again, cheering and clapping for Roland, as well as for Straf. The energy of the audience is likely at the highest point it ever was since the first match. Some people whistle, and some stomp their feet to add to the already deafening noise.
Roland stumbles towards Straf, holding his armored fists up in a boxing stance. Straf's shoulders slump as he holds the massive shield in his hand.
「Seriously? Honestly, I'm kind of impressed. Usually when the wall crater thing happens, that's it.」
Clank!
Straf says, then blocks Roland's fist aimed at his face with Roland's own shield.
Clank! Clank! Clang!
Roland punches away at the shield, not dealing any real damage, panting heavily.
「You sonnovabitch! I'll end you!」
Clank! Clank!
「Is that what your cholesterol told you?」
Straf shrugs, slowly getting bored by the punches devoid of any substance. He looks up at Cycelia, who is recovering from a laughing fit. Spectators around her seem mildly annoyed, or suspicious of her mental stability.
…Clank! …Clank!
The giant of a man throws a punch, then stops to take a few breaths. He throws another, then pauses again. Straf rolls his eyes.
「Okay, look. How about you surrender, and I give you the shield back?」
Straf asks, and the man puts his armored gauntlet on the top edge of the shield, peeking over.
「…Why would I do that?」
Roland squeezes onto the shield, his voice growling in anger.
「You're not going to win this anyway, I mean, come on. You brought no weapons. Did you really think this through? Though, not like they'd be of any help…」
「And I'm supposed to just give up? Because I'm unarmed!? After your insults!?」
Roland gets increasingly more irate, trying to catch his breath as he leans on the shield.
「And I didn't insult you, I'm looking out for you in a very rough way. Those sausages and bacon are going to kill you one day. You think the mass comes for free?」
Straf shrugs, with a smirk.
「I. Am not. Fat.」
「Yeah? Prove it. Bet you're rolls of fat under that armor-」
Straf's brows rise when Roland takes a step away from the shield, and starts unbuckling the straps on his cuirass. The audience's cheers die down. The spectators become heavily confused by what is occurring.
「Ladies and gentlemen, what is going on!? Roland seems out of energy, but Straf looks like he's not even sweating! Why the sudden pause- Contestant Roland has just dropped his armor! Look at that chiseled chest, ladies and gentlemen! Is he shedding the weight of his armor!?」
The announcer points to Roland, who is now flexing his abdominal muscles in a power-pose. He holds his chain mail shirt up, nodding his helmet at Straf, who nods back with an approving, surprised grimace.
「Fat, motherfucker!? Does that look fat to you!? It's all muscle! I worked hard for this!」
Roland shouts, showing off his powerful torso. Albeit visibly bulky with extra weight, his chest and stomach is undeniably wrapped in defined muscles.
「Shit. No steroids?」
「What the fuck are steroids!?」
Roland drops the chain shirt, spreading his arms menacingly. Straf glances up, furrowing his brows.
「Yeah, that's right. You wouldn't know…」
Straf rubs his chin as he thinks with narrowed eyes. Roland walks up and slams his gauntlet on top of the shield again, digging it into the dirt below. He lowers his helmet to Straf's head level.
「Go on! Call me fucking fat again!」
His anger-filled voice reverberates in his helmet. Straf shrugs.
「I can't. My bad. I thought you had tits bigger than a barmaid under that armor.」
「I worked them off!」
Roland shouts with his gruff voice, spitting in his helmet.
「Wait, what?」
Straf blinks as he locks gazes with the armored giant, holding an incredulous expression on his face.
「Whatever, here, you earned it. I'm a sucker for slow growth. But get a weapon next time, like a mace or something, yeah?」
Straf snaps out of it, and hands Roland his shield back. The Wall stares at him, then nods.
「…You know what, Straf? You're alright. If I lost to that little fucking twig Ulrick, I'd never live it down. You're lean, but it's like I was wrestling a bull.」
Roland points at Straf and nods with approval. He extends his armored gauntlet for a handshake.
「I know, right? If I was any stronger, I'd kill people without meaning to.」
Straf firmly grips Roland's armored hand. They stare at each other in silence for a brief moment.
「…Ladies and gentlemen, what happened!? Have the combatants reached some form of mutual understanding!?」
The announcer struggles to grasp the connection between Roland and Straf. Roland lifts his armored hands up to signal a surrender.
「…Seriously though, be more fucking humble. It's annoying.」
Roland states with a nod for emphasis.
「But I am.」
Straf tilts his head, squinting and shrugging a little in minor confusion.
Gonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg…
「Ladies and gentlemen! It appears contestant Straf has convinced Roland he has no chance to win! Morale matters in the arena as well! There is no shame for Roland to be defeated by a contestant as powerful, as the winner of this match! Straf! Katastrof! Vindict! It seems when an unstoppable force meets the immovable object, they come to an agreement!」
The crowd cheers as Straf spreads his arms towards them, grinning. Roland takes his shield in hand, and picks his cuirass off the dirt. Both Straf and Roland walk to their respective exits, but the giant receives a shower of praise from the audience when he lifts his dented shield high into the air.
「And with this match, Straf Katastrof Vindict moves on to the finals, where he will face contestant Sturm! Tomorrow exactly at noon, we will find out who is the strongest! Who is the fastest! Who is tougher, and has more drive to win! Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! We will see you tomorrow!」
The announcer bows, and steps off his platform…