A few minutes later, in the bank…
Leaning forward and propping herself up on the hammer's shaft while sitting on the chair beside the desk, Nona is watching the door with her bored amber eyes, with her chin resting on her hands.
「Straf!」
She exclaims, as Straf walks in with his hands in his pockets.
「Yeah, me. Is that really so exciting?」
He asks with a slanted mouth, and his eyes slide to the empty chair at the desk.
「Ahaha! I mean, the rest of my day is usually boring…」
Nona chuckles, grinning at Straf. Her eyes drift down, and she replies with a slightly sullen tone.
「Where's the lazy bastard?」
He asks, looking at Niklaus's vacant chair.
「Hm? The boss said he's going out to do some work a moment ago. You just missed him.」
Nona glances at the empty chair, and then look up at Straf's face.
「Wow. He's finally doing his job, huh? Must be the opposite day, 'cause I'll be absolutely slacking the fuck off today.」
Straf declares, as he walks up to Niklaus's chair.
「Ah! That's right! You also missed Olivia!」
Nona exclaims with her brows raised, remembering another detail as Straf sits down.
Thudthud.
「…I did not just forget someone, and you will not gaslight me that I did. Who?」
Straf throws his boots up onto the desk, and precariously leans back on his chair. He replies with his eyes suspiciously narrowed, pointing at Nona.
「Olivia! That young girl you gave a lot of money to!」
Nona explains, but Straf's eyes only narrow further in deeper suspicion. A man from the street enters, and gets to hear an out of context conversation. He gives Straf a dirty look as he approaches the tellers' counter with a lot of silver in his hand.
「…What exactly are you accusing me of?- Ooohhhhh…」
Straf asks, before throwing his head back as he realizes something.
「How was I supposed to know her name? What do you think I do all day? Hand money to little girls, and hang out with them? You're sick in the head.」
He crosses his arms and shakes his head, grumbling. The bank client leaves with a few silver drakes, and departs with another dirty look directed at Straf.
「Ahaha! Did you really not ask for her name, then?」
Nona giggles in response, grinning, then asks with light tilt to her head.
「No. Some fuckin' asshole fucked up her stuff, and Lia's pain in the ass child labor laws stop her from getting more money, so I gave her some.」
Straf says, and shrugs his shoulders.
「Ahh… So she was telling the truth, then.」
Nona remarks with a smirk.
「Huh?」
He utters out, turning his head towards her.
「She said that some guy was bullying her, and you almost beat him to a pulp. That's when I knew she wasn't lying.」
Nona smiles softly with a tilted head, looking into Straf's eyes.
「…Calling it a pulp would be generous.」
Straf replies, and sighs with an annoyed, tight-lipped grimace.
「…Pervolich.」
Nona utters out after a prolonged moment of silence while resting her chin on her hands upon the hammer.
「Tsk. Stop that already. People are going to get the wrong idea.」
Straf clicks his tongue, and looks at Nona's smugly smiling face.
「Say, are you going to spend the whole day here with me?」
Nona asks after another moment of silence with a wide, happy smile, turning her amber eyes to Straf again.
「Nope…」
「Awww-」
Nona lets out a sad whine, turning her eyes away.
「…I'm leaving after the first bell, and I'll have to attend to some military matters. I'll be back after that, and stay here until the evening, I guess-」
「Yay!」
She exclaims, throwing her fist up into the air with a wide grin. Straf looks at her with his eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed, but says nothing.
「…So I can ask you stuff, right?」
Nona tilts her head, looking at Straf's face while he's watching the door with bored eyes.
「Tsk… I guess.」
He shrugs, and sighs out.
「What kind of girls do you like?」
Nona bluntly asks with a cheeky grin on her face.
「Adult ones. I am telling you this, because some people seem to have trouble grasping that.」
Straf replies while stressing his words, side-glancing at her with a frustrated, tight-lipped grimace.
「…That's it?」
She asks, blinking in confusion with a tilted head.
「It's the most important qualifying factor. I'm not exactly picky, but I can tell you what kind of girls I don't like.」
He answers, shrugging his shoulders.
「What are they, then?」
Nona asks, leaning onto the desk while she grins at Straf, staring into his disinterested eyes. He sighs.
「If you wear glasses, you're dead to me. I don't like fatties. I think short girls are cute, but dwarves are no-go-」
「Ahahaha! Where are you gonna find a dwarf!? Ahaha!」
Hearing Straf's words, Nona bursts out into laughter and asks with a grin, before giggling some more again.
「…What, they're rare, or something?」
He asks, turning his gaze towards her while she's trying to get her cackling under control.
「They're super, super rare! Nobody has seen one for like, 300 years!」
Nona explains, leaning in towards Straf.
「How do you not know that?」
She asks, tilting her head.
「I'm out of the loop.」
Straf nonchalantly replies, and turns his eyes away from her amber ones to the exit.
「…Disappearing dwarves, huh? That's another one.」
He quietly remarks, and acts out writing a check mark on his palm before crossing his arms again.
「…What about girls like me?」
Nona bluntly asks with a smug smile, propping her head up on her hand while looking at Straf.
「Annoying ones?」
「Rude! I'm friendly!」
Straf asks, and Nona's head shoots up as she exclaims in mild outrage. She corrects Straf with an insistent tone.
「Tsk. Well…」
Straf utters out, looking at Nona carefully. With the peaked cap on her head, she stares at him in silence with a little pout of her peach-colored lips. Her unnaturally orange eyes blink at him, and her eyelashes flutter before them.
His eyes drift lower to her jacket, hiding her chest that can be called neither large, nor small. Drifting lower still, her thick thighs are just barely covered by her short uniform skirt.
「…You get some points for not having ridiculously oversized udders, like some sort of a cow.」
He replies, turning his eyes back to the door with a shrug.
「You don't like big-? Wait, you don't actually like little girls, do you?」
Nona asks, leaning away a little as she warily looks at Straf.
「I told you I don't!」
He replies with a frustrated grimace, with his lips pressed together tight.
「Right. Right…」
Nona nods her head, apologetically looking down at the floor.
「…That's surprising though. When I heard the guys talk, they all like 'em as big as they come. How come you don't?」
Somewhat confused, she asks with a tilted head, blinking her amber eyes at him.
「I like them big, and I like them small, but I don't like them ridiculous. It's the shape that matters the most.」
Straf confidently proclaims, looking straight at the exit with his head held high. Nona nods in silence, and looks down at her hammer.
「…So you don't like the queen?」
Nona asks, after a few seconds of silence.
「Oh, don't get me wrong, her three sizes are ridiculous, but what kind of a man do you think I am?」
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Straf asks, looking straight into Nona's eyes.
「Huh?」
She tilts her head, meeting his gaze.
「Do you think I'm some sort of a shallow idiot, who only sees women as tits and ass? No. It's the personality that counts. And the face, I guess.」
Straf says with a dead-serious expression.
「And Lia is real cute despite her massive melons, I can just look past them.」
He adds, shrugging as his eyes return to the exit.
《Wow, Straf is really a different type of guy, isn't he?》
「Ahh… I see.」
She nods her head, though a little tinge of disappointment stabs at her heart.
「That being said, nine out of ten women are walking tits and ass with no personality. That's why I have a disdain for women.」
Straf adds another thought, shrugging his shoulders again. Nona's head snaps to Straf's face out of surprise, with an awkward grin on her face.
Just as Nona is about to ask another question, a man in leather armor walks in and approaches the desk.
「Hey, I'm supposed to check if my uniform is here.」
The man says, looking at Straf while he's practically reclining in his chair.
Thudthud.
Straf drops his boots to the ground, and stands up.
「Yup, it is. Now, what are your sizes?」
Straf asks, walking up to the man.
「My what?」
The man replies, furrowing his brows. Straf sighs.
「Alright, I'll just eyeball them…」
Straf shrugs his arms in resignation, and starts patting the man all over.
Patpatpat.
「Hey, what are you?-」
The man asks, recoiling a little as Straf's hands pat both of his shoulders, then make their way down to his waist and hips. Nona blinks at them in disbelief, with her mouth ajar, grinning awkwardly.
「I'm taking your sizes. Stop wriggling.」
Straf demands, sliding his hand down to t he man's leg, almost caressing it.
《W- What? Is Straf?…》
Nona stares at the scene before her, stunned and frozen in disbelief.
「Alright. I figure you're the normal type.」
Straf lets go of the man's body, and straightens out. He nods, placing his fists on his hips.
「Normal type?…」
The man shakes his head lightly, narrowing his eyes at Straf.
「Yup. Here's your stuff, put it on now.」
Straf replies, and begins throwing the pieces of the uniform at the man. The jacket, the pants and the hat fly into his arms from Straf's [Portable Storage] as he reaches into the purple vortex, pulls them out and flicks them at him.
「Now? Here? Why?」
The man asks, completely perplexed.
「'Cause I need to take your photo, and it's best if you're in the uniform.」
Straf explains, gesturing with his hand as the other one reaches into his inventory and pulls out the modern-looking camera.
「Ah! It's that thing!」
Nona chimes in, pointing at the camera.
「Photo?…」
「Just hurry up and do it.」
Straf rushes the man. He looks at the uniform in his hands, then up at Straf. He glances at Nona, and she looks back at him. She covers her eyes with her hand, grinning at the Ministry agent, and he lets out a resigned sigh.
He takes his upper half of the armor off, and slips on the jacket and the hat. It takes him a moment to wiggle out of his pants, and it quickly becomes obvious why he started from the top.
The man is left wearing nothing but his underwear and his boots on his lower half. He quickly slips them off to squeeze his foot through the pant legs, and secures the belt on his waist.
The Ministry agent is now dressed quite aesthetically, despite or perhaps because of the obvious military undertones of his uniform. He pats it down, looking down at it.
「…I don't think this is a good fit, can't I just wear my armor?-」
He asks, but Straf cuts in immediately. Nona peels her hand away from her amber eyes, and a gleeful little grin appears on her face while looking at the man.
「Nope. Go get a tailor to fix it if you don't like it. Now stand in front of that wall there.」
Straf points at a spot in front of a clean, empty segment of a wall. The man complies, and faces Straf with a confused look on his face.
「Now look serious.」
He commands the man, and the man's expression shifts. Straf's brows rise, and he nods his head.
「See, Nona!? That's how a serious face looks like!」
He exclaims, looking over his shoulder at Nona while pointing his hand at the man. He turns back to him, and points the camera at his face.
「Now hold still…」
Fwap!
A blinding white light flashes out from the camera, and the man winces, closing his eyes for a few seconds.
「Alright… What's your name, how old are you?」
Straf throws the camera into the [Portable Storage], keeping only the photo in his hand as he walks up to the bank tellers' counter.
「Uh. I'm James, twenty-three.」
The man replies, hesitantly walking up to Straf with his hands behind his back.
「Hmm… Twenty-three is the weirdest name I have heard yet…」
Straf remarks, writing something down on the back of the photo with the teller's quill.
「Huh?- Ah. I'm James Hoffman.」
A momentary confusion flashes on the man's faces, before an awkward smile takes over. He clarifies with a light bow of his head.
「Right… Alright, you can go. Pick up your identification here tomorrow.」
Straf shrugs, returns the quill, and throws the photo into the [Portable Storage]. The man nods, and exits the bank. Straf returns to his seat, and throws his feet onto the desk again.
Thudthud.
「Is everyone getting the same uniforms, Straf?」
Nona asks, looking at his face.
「Yup. It's a neat little trick to deal with all that pesky individualism.」
Straf scoffs, grinning a little at the door, waiting with his arms crossed for the next Ministry agent to come through…
…
In the palace, in one of the guest dining rooms shortly after the day's first bell…
Greaves and his party are sitting at a long, white-clothed table. Maids are swarming the room, placing plates on the table and pouring drinks into silverware chalices.
「Thank you.」
Will says, nodding his head with a polite smile at the maid delivering a plate of steaming-hot food directly in front of him. The maid returns the smile and nods back, before leaving the room in a hurried step.
Greaves starts biting into the large chunk of meat without bothering to cut through it. Lian slashes through her thick steak with one quick motion, and nibbles at the smaller piece.
Alicia and Will carefully saw through the meat to split a bite-sized piece, and eat it. Greaves guzzles the juice in his chalice, while everyone else either takes small sips or singular mouthfuls.
「Refill!」
Greaves exclaims, lifting his chalice. A maid standing a little aside hastily approaches, takes a pitcher off the table, and pours more into his chalice. She politely bows, and sets the pitcher back down where it was.
「Greaves, how about you behave yourself?」
Will chides him with a slanted mouth, and eats another piece.
「Hey, if it's free, why not?」
Greaves shrugs, smugly grinning, and taking another large gulp before resuming wolfing down his steak.
「Just because it's free doesn't mean you should take as much as you can. It's bad manners.」
Will adjusts his glasses with his mouth's corner scrunched to the side.
「If they're givin' it, I'll take it! Nom.」
He unabashedly replies, and shrugs as he takes another large bite.
「…Alicia, tell him something.」
Will shakes his head in disapproval, and turns his gaze to Alicia, pointing his hand at Greaves while he's devouring the steak.
「W- Well… If he's hungry, or thirsty… He's still growing, Will.」
She helplessly shrugs, with an awkward smile, and places another small piece into her mouth. Greaves starts coughing, and Will clicks his tongue, then sighs.
「…I suppose so, I guess. Wouldn't want Greaves to stay tiny his whole life.」
Will shrugs, conceding to Alicia's point, and he eats another piece. Greaves continues coughing, hammering his chest.
「Are you okay, Greaves?-」
Alicia asks with furrowed brows, but he slaps his hand on the table before she can fully finish.
「I'm not growing! I don't need to grow! I'm an adult!」
Greaves lets out one last cough, then angrily shouts at Will.
「Yes, yes… Now eat your food, Greaves. You need those nutrients.」
Will shakes his head, sawing through his food.
「You know, Will, I agree with Greaves. If someone is offering you something for free, you should take it. If you take an excess… Well, that's the fault of the one offering, isn't it?」
Lian turns her black eyes to Will, and comments, then resumes nibbling her piece of steak.
「Lian, not you too…」
Will looks at Lian, scrunching the corner of his mouth heavily.
「I'm just saying how my people would see it… I do agree that it's poor manners in this land.」
She smirks, and takes another nibble. Will sighs, shrugging his shoulders a little with a slight tilt of his head.
「Eat your veggies too, Will. You need them to recover. And you too, Greaves.」
Alicia says, forking some of the greens on her plate.
「I will, Alicia.」「No! I only want meat!」
Will nods his head, while Greaves protests from the side. Will and Alicia sigh.
「More importantly… When are we heading out to do something for the guild, Greaves?」
Will asks, turning his eyes to the petulant orange-haired child, and takes a bite of some of the vegetables on his plate.
「Will! You're supposed to rest!」
Alicia exclaims in outrage, furrowing her brows with a frown.
「Alicia, I rested enough. I'm fine now. I feel bad about Greaves devouring everything here, so I want to at least earn my keep.」
Will insists, looking straight into her eyes with a serious face, he momentarily tilts his head in Greaves's direction to point him out.
「But…」
She meekly protests, looking down at her plate with her frown growing more sullen.
「Alicia. I'm fine. If you don't believe me, we could go do something easy. Pest control, or something like that. I'll stop casting the moment I feel even a little lightheaded.」
Will insist, and starts forking more greens.
「…Why do you want to do dangerous stuff that badly?」
Alicia glumly asks, idly poking her food with her fork.
「I don't. But I don't want to be fed and sheltered for free. Unlike Greaves here.」
Will nods his head at Greaves, causing him to click his tongue.
「Heeeeeh? Whas that!? Wecan go rite nao, wimp!」
Greaves exclaims, with his mouth full of steak…