「Huh?」

The perplexed man looks all around himself, only to realize the scenery from just a moment ago changed completely. He sees nothing but a mist, or a fog, or perhaps a haze all around the room? The vast endless space?

One way or another, it's impossible to catch even a glimpse of any distinct shape. Except the one in front of him.

He looks forward, and sees a smooth and beautiful marble throne, capped and decorated with shiny solid gold, elevated on a few small steps. The golden-haired woman in a flowing, marble-white gown sits upon it, matching the throne with her eerie beauty as she looks down at him.

「Let me start off by saying, that I am terribly sorry...」

She states with an apologetic tone, her brilliant blue eyes filled with pity, and her face wearing a difficult expression.

「...Huh?」

The man shakes his head a little, still slack-jawed as he looks back at her in confusion.

「There has been a terrible mistake, and I'm very, very, very sorry.」

「...What is this place? What are you talking about? Who are you?」

「I will explain everything. In meanwhile, please remain calm...」

She takes a deep breath, and continues.

「You have died before your time. It was a mistake, and you weren't meant to die.」

「...Well. That's alright. Just send me back.」

Still looking at her, he points behind his back towards nowhere in particular.

「Well, the thing is…」

She spreads her hands apart.

「I can't. That's not my domain, and moreover...」

「What? What do you mean you can't? You can't can't. I have things to do!」

The man raises his voice and interrupts her.

「It's not possible. Even if it were my domain, I can't just resurrect you.」

「Why? Why not?! Surely there has to be someone there thumping on my chest, yelling at me to live!」

He again points behind himself, and hits his chest with the fist from the other hand.

As he protests, the woman gets visibly embarrassed and looks away. She sucks air through her teeth covertly as she turns her head away.

「Well, you see… You don't even have a chest anymore.」

「...What?」

「...Perhaps I should explain what happened, first. Or why and how it happened.」

She twiddles with her thumbs as she speaks.

「First, are you even aware of what is this place? Of who I am?」

「Are you God? Is this heaven?」

「No. At least not exactly. Abandon your preconceived notion of an afterlife you might have.」

「Then who are you? How did I even die?! I wasn't crossing a street or anything!」

If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

The woman once again looks away, embarrassed, but tries to hide it by forcing her gaze back to the man.

「I am Athea, the goddess of timely, graceful death and reincarnation. Please remain calm and allow me to finish...」

Despite her embarrassment, she possesses a noble air as she introduces herself. She places her palm just above the cut of her dress in a dignified manner.

「As I said, there has been a mistake. As I was carrying out my duties, by mistake, I killed you instead of the man whose time has ran out.」

「...What? What do you mean killed me?! You mean you killed me?!」

「Please stay calm...」

The woman throws her palms out in effort to defuse the man's anger.

「Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrghhh!」

The man falls to his knees, then all fours in defeat as he screams. Halfway through the shout it turns into a pained growl.

「I understand this is a lot to take in… Take as long as you need, time flows different to what you are used to here.」

「Just as I caught my big break! Just as I was on my way to sign a publishing deal!」

The man ignores the woman, and keeps shouting.

「Just as I completed my masterpiece! Just as it was about to be released to the world! Just as someone noticed me!」

The woman simply sighs as the man continues his tantrum.

「Do you have any fucking idea how much effort it took to crawl above that flaming trash pile!? Over a year of writing, months and months of editing!」

He shouts and shouts, and starts punching the floor, if there even is any.

「Shit! Fuck! Finally noticed after so much time! I finally rose above the copy-pasted all-the-same garbage that people put out so thoughtlessly! The stupid tropes, exact same premises, flat characters that only serve as vehicles for horny teenagers with personality issues!」

The man rises up from all fours back to kneeling, and keeps at it.

「My novel had deep, mature themes! Developed characters with touching backstories and real personality! Antagonist that was more than just an amalgamation of opinions I don't like!」

He flails his arms around like a madman as he describes his magnum opus.

「And the whole work had a somber but optimistic message the readers could carry out into their real life! Shit, I even thought of the commercial appeal! It even had a cute heroine as merchandise and art bait!」

He falls back to all fours, banging on the floor like an infant throwing a fit.

「And it's all meaningless because you killed me! Why?! Why?!?」

「As I said… It was an honest mistake.」

「How do you even kill the wrong person by a mistake?!」

The woman sighs.

「Your name, and his name, were practically identical. The only difference was a single character in a different place.」

The man rises up again to his knees, his shoulders completely limp and slumped, and utter disbelief on his face.

「Your reaction is perfectly normal… Words cannot express how terribly sorry I am for the mistake. Something like this happens perhaps once in a millennium.」

「Who was the other guy? From thousand years ago?」

「...He was an important historical figure, I can't say.」

「How did I die, then?」

The man asks as he picks himself up from his knees. All energy is gone from his voice, his tone completely sullen.

「Ahh...」

「What? Don't tell me it's a secret. Even if it's a mistake, I deserve to know. Was it a heart attack? From all those energy drinks?」

Her lips disappear into her mouth as she looks away once again with a grimace on her face.

「Well… You see… Since it wasn't your time yet… The energy drinks wouldn't have killed you. At least not yet, at your age.」

「So what was it? Did a car hit me? I wasn't crossing the street, did some drunk ram into me from behind?」

「Uhh...」

The woman taps her fingers together and twiddles her thumbs again.

「Just tell me already. I'm dead. It's over. At least tell me how I died...」

His shoulders still slumped, the man sighs.

「...Promise me you won't be mad?」