In the warehouse district, in the consumer goods factory…

With his hands in his pockets, Straf steps into the building. The workers are busy assembling IEDs both large and small. They give him a brief confused glance before returning to their task.

「Eh? Straf? Why are you here?」

Stripe raises her golden eyes up from one of the workbenches, her ears twitch twice in surprise under her cotton hat.

「What the fuck do you mean, why am I here? I own this place…」

He looks all over the dim warehouse and sees stacks of crates one on top of another in the corner. The workers continue despite the manager leaving her workstation to approach Straf.

「…Are these full?」

He nods at the crates, then looks at Stripe with his brows raised inquisitively.

「Uh… They're as full as we could pack them.」

She shrugs, fiddling with her fingers while she fails to do something with her hands, standing awkwardly next to Straf.

「How many per crate?」

「…You didn't tell me to count!」

Her head perks up, and she looks at him with a look a deeply annoyed look of frustration, narrowing her eyes.

「Give me a number you feel good about at least.」

Straf throws his hands up, scrunching his mouth to the side.

「Like… A little under 200?」

Stripe crosses her arms as they look back at the crates.

「Hm…」

Straf briefly rubs his chin then begins counting, pointing at each of the crates visible crates. He then swipes his finger across the stack's height and width, then rubs his chin some more.

「…Won't be enough to equip the entire army, but it should work. What about components? Do you need any more? Missing something? Broke something?」

He shrugs, placing his fists on his hips as he looks back at her.

「No, but…」

Stripe shakes her head, then turns her gaze to the mages holding gems in their hands. The gems glow with a brilliant light as they hold them in their fingers, slowly becoming brighter and brighter. After a few moments, all of the mages throw the gems into one box, and pick out another one from one of the three full of gems. The gems in their fingers begin to glow, and the cycle begins again.

「But?…」

Straf asks, raising his brows while watching the mages with her.

「…The mages have been complaining about being exhausted. They're charging gems the whole day. I don't know much about magic, but they said it's like running up a hill all day, every day.」

She points her hand at the robed men, then turns her troubled grimace to Straf.

「…Alright, I'll ask the guild for a few more of 'em to join tomorrow. That should take the load off and hurry things along.」

He nods, rubbing his chin.

「By the way… Here.」

Straf reaches into his [Portable Storage] and pulls out a curving dagger, then holds it out for Stripe.

「Huh? What's this? Why are you giving me this?」

She takes it into her clawed hands on a reflex, then examines it closely.

「It's a dagger that can duplicate itself if you feed it a little mana. If you pour mana into the duplicate, you'll translocate to it as soon as it runs out.」

As Straf explains, Stripe also tests the blade for sharpness. She gently presses her finger against its blade, then immediately winces and pulls it away.

「Hnnh?…」

She furrows her brows at him while sucking onto her finger.

「…You mean I'll appear at the copy dagger?」

Stripe asks, pulling the finger out of her mouth. Her eyes return to her finger to check if it's still bleeding.

「Yup. That's how it works. It's worthless to me, Lia isn't the type of girl to use daggers, Nona already has a hammer… Well, and Lily's fine as she is, so… I thought you can have it.」

Straf shrugs, nodding his head.

「…What's gonna happen to the second dagger in that case?」

She asks, then returns her bleeding finger back into her mouth, brows still furrowed.

「It'll disappear, since it's just a fake copy. Also it's fragile, so don't try to do some dumb shit with it like blocking stuff. It'll probably survive being thrown and hitting something hard.」

He explains, grimacing a little.

「Wait, how is it worthless to you? Isn't this crazy useful!?」

Stripe holds the dagger up with an incredulous expression on her face.

「I don't know how to pour mana into stuff. I did it like once, and I'm not even sure how… Do you know how to do it?」

Straf casually shrugs, and inquisitively raises his brows as he leans in towards her.

「Uh… Yeah… I think. If I remember how to… I was taught once, long ago… Wait, how do you not know how to do basic magic concepts as a mage!?」

「Hey, I never said I'm a mage. I need magic gems charged by someone else to have things like IEDs work…」

He shrugs, and turns for the exit.

「…Since it's on the way, I'm heading for the mages' guild-」

A few steps later, Straf abruptly stops in his tracks and turns around.

「…Actually, you can come with me. I'm going to need you for a few things.」「Wha-!? Hey!」

He declares, and grabs Stripe by her sweater's collar, pulling her with him to the door.

「Now!? But what if the kids blow themselves up!?」

Stripe points at one of the younger workers at the back of the sweatshop.

「Then it'll be a valuable lesson not to do that again… They'll be fiiine, now come along.」

「Wait! At least let me-! Stop pulling me!」

She shouts at Straf while he ignores her and drags her along out of the building…

…

An hour later…

Stripe begrudgingly holds the door open for Straf as they enter the adventurers' guild. He struts over to the task noticeboard and begins browsing through them while rubbing his chin.

「…Straf Katastrof Vindict!?」

A muffled voice asks while the ground rumbles.

「Eh? Yeah, Minister of-」

Straf turns his gaze to the voice and the source of the rumbling.

「…Roland the fucking Wall!?」

He asks, and the familiar man in full armor spreads his arms, likely grinning under his full helm.

「The one and only! Haaaahaahaha!」

Clankclank.

Roland replies with a pat to his chestplate, and lets out a belly laughter.

「Oh! And you even got a mace like I told you to! Finally someone with a fucking head on his shoulders here!」

Straf's brows rise when he notices Roland's mace hanging in his belt. He leans forward to get a closer look, pointing at it.

「Ah? Yeah, I got it shortly after the tournament. Haven't seen much use yet, but I figure that's gonna change once I find a party.」

The large armored man pats his pace, nodding his helmet.

「…What is this reunion?」

Stripe mutters out while watching the two. Her golden eyes jump from Straf to Roland, and back again.

「I was going to ask you what you're doing here!… You're an adventurer now!?」

Straf smirks with his fists on his hips. Roland nods again.

「Aye. Back in business, hahaha!… I see you're looking at the tasks… How about we just form our own party?」

Roland asks, gesturing his head at the noticeboard behind Straf.

「Ahhh, no no no, you misunderstand… My adventures boil down to handling the kingdom's petty shit now. Pretty sad, huh?」

Shaking his head in reply, Straf dismissively waves his hand in front of himself before returning his fists back to his hips.

「You're not an adventurer anymore?」

「I'm an adventurer on paper only… Or copper, whatever the fuck. Point is, you'd die of boredom if we were in a party, buddy. You're better off with someone else.」

Straf spreads his hands, shaking his head with his mouth scrunched.

「…I see. That's a shame. But in that case, what are you doing reading through the task board? That's really only for adventurers.」

Roland points his hand at the noticeboard as Straf returns to it.

「I'm just here to get one task to test something real quick, then it's back to boring kingdom shit again.」

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Rubbing his chin, Straf replies while looking through the noticeboard.

「I see. It was good to see you anyway. I was sore for a week after our match! Haha!」

Roland returns a slow nod, shrugging. His chuckle reverberates in his helmet.

「Buddy, you'd be a lot more sore now… It's good to see you too…」

Straf smirks at Roland, though his brows are furrowed and eyes visibly troubled. He returns his gaze to the noticeboard.

Snap.

After a few moments of silence, Straf snaps his fingers.

「…Oh yeah, if we ever need adventurers, I'll let you know first. It's good to have contacts in the government, you know?」

He points at Roland, smirking at him. His previous troubled look is gone as quickly as it appeared.

「Yeah. I'll stick around, so if you find some work for me, let me know. See you later.」

The armored man nods, then returns to his seat at one of the tables.

「…Who was that guy?」

Stripe asks, covertly peeking at Roland while he's drinking from a tankard without taking his helmet off.

「…And why won't he just take the helmet off to drink? Is he stupid?」

She adds, furrowing her brows.

「It's Roland the Wall, and he has the helmet on because it's a cliche… Now help me find a- Ah.」

Straf looks at one particular slip of paper nailed to the noticeboard, and rips it away.

Thud.

「…I want to do this one.」

He declares as he slams the task warrant onto the guild girl's long counter. She gives it a long, troubled look.

「…Are you sure? Just you two?」

The guild girl asks, furrowing her brows at Straf and Stripe.

「Just me. She's my secretary…」

Straf explains with a nod over his shoulder at Stripe.

「…A secretary?」

Puzzled, the guild girl tilts her head.

「Yeah. I'm from the government, and she's my secretary. She does menial work for me…」

「Yeaaah… I do that…」

Stripe nods, agreeing with a sigh as she looks aside with her mouth scrunched to the side in frustration.

「…Since she's my secretary, we also sleep together.」「Hhhhnnnnrhg!…」

Straf adds, grinning with his fists on his hips. With her eyes wide open in shock, Stripe gasps and nearly chokes.

「Ah?…」

Stunned and unsure how to react, the guild girl simply blushes and blinks at Straf. Her eyes dart between the two with her jaw dropped.

Slam!

「He means in a bed! We sleep in a bed! We close our eyes and fall asleep! I don't have time to explain!」

Stripe slams her hands on the counter, desperately explaining herself to the guild girl while Straf cackles with a wide grin. The guild girl seems to be buying her explanation, however.

「I… I see… Should I register this task as taken, then?」

「Yup. We're heading out to do it. Let's go, kinky kitty.」

Straf replies, nodding at the guild girl, then turns to the exit.

「Wait, what is this task even about?…」

Stripe asks and leans in over the counter, looking at the task's details on the paper. As soon as she reads [Hunt down Megagrizzly] on top, her eyes snap wide open.

「Megagrizzly!? You want to kill a megagrizzly!?」

She shouts while chasing after Straf.

「What!? Seriously!?」「The balls on that guy!…」「He's stupid, or suicidal!… Or both!」

The entire guild instantly livens up as all occupied tables begin to chatter. Straf waits for Stripe by the door.

「Yeah, why not? It's right by the lumber mill. It's fucking up their trees and scaring the workers, resulting in poorer production… Resulting in shittier city economy. It's a perfect task.」

He shrugs, and expectantly points his hand at the door.

「Because it's going to kill you!」「Pft…」

Stripe clenches her fists, desperately attempting to convince Straf with her golden eyes wide open and a tight-lipped grimace on her face.

「…I'd like to see a dumb oversized bear try… Can you believe some men self-reported that they'd lose a fight to a bird? Embarrassing.」

He replies with an amused smirk on his face. Straf then raises his hand, pointing at the door more insistently, nodding towards it.

「It's a dumb oversized bear that can snap oaks in half! Maybe you're stupid too!?」

「Okay, okay… Can you open the door now?」

Straf rolls his eyes, then points his hand at the door again with his brows raised. Fuming, Stripe stomps up to the door and pulls it open, holding it for Straf. She follows him out.

While they navigate the midday crowd, Stripe glares at Straf from behind as he nonchalantly walks in the direction of the city gate with his hands in his pockets.

「…What am I even supposed to help you with?」

She asks, crossing her arms.

「The doors.」

Straf bluntly replies.

「…Huh? What doors?」

Stripe tilts her head, blinking in confusion.

「The guild doors. Good job.」

「Wha-!? You took me with you to open the doors for you!? You bastard!」

As Straf smirks at her over his shoulder, her jaw drops in shock, only to return upward so she can grit her teeth in frustration…

…

Roughly two hours later, outside the city gate, in a forest by the Draconis lumber mill…

Straf is wandering deeper into the dim forest while Stripe is clutching onto his arm with one hand, and onto her dagger with the other. Her head swivels while her ears twitch in her hat.

「…Can I just go back? You don't need me here anymore, right?」

She asks with a nervous, tight-lipped grimace on her face, gripping Straf's arm tighter.

「But you'll miss out on seeing a cool thing. Don't you want to see a cool thing?」

He asks, glancing over his shoulder while continuing onward and weaving past the trees.

「I don't think a cool thing is worth risking my life over!…」

Stripe clenches her teeth and turns her golden eyes forward.

「…Doesn't that hill look kind of weird?」

She asks, furrowing her brows at the brown lump ahead.

「To reference a certain space opera…」

Straf says as the hill comes to life. He reaches into his [Portable Storage] while Stripe's jaw drops, and her eyes open wide in shock. He pulls out a leather cowboy hat out.

「…That's no hill. That's a big bag o' XP. Yee-haw, motherfucker.」

He adds, pulling out the long white object as he sets the cowboy hat on his head.

「We need to run!-」

Stripe shouts while desperately trying to pull Straf away, but he doesn't even budge.

「No we fucking don't. I'm about to show you what all those gems were for…」

Ga-gack ga-gack ga-gack ga-gack…

He grins, inserting a handful of gems through a covered slot with a springy noise. The megagrizzly stands up and looks at them both. Stripe freezes, straightening out like a plank.

RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!

「Man, shut the fuck up…」

Cla-clack!

Straf winces from the ear-piercing roar that echoes through the forest. He flips the flattish rectangle's lever up and down with a loud noise, then shoulders it.

「…Yee-haw.」

Straf says, smirking with his finger on the trigger. He pulls it.

Clink!…

With one end of the rectangle pointed directly at the megagrizzly's head, a faint noise of shattering glass comes from within. In an instant, a sparkling blue beam shoots out of the hole into the interior and hits the beast right in the forehead. Straf doesn't wait to assess the damage, and instead flips the lever again.

Cra-clack!

The beast recoils, visibly wincing as its fur chars on its head. A puff of black smoke rises from the point of impact, but aside from a small spot of charred flesh, the beast remains unharmed.

Straf pulls the trigger again. Stripe watches on, deeply confused as to what is going on.

Clink!…

The gem within shatters again, and another blue beam shoots out. It hits the oversized bear in the cheek, badly charring it. Straf flips the lever again.

Cra-crack!

Clink!

With another trigger pull, another beam shoots out. It appears to be wider, too wide for the object it's shooting out of, in fact. Straf's grin grows.

「Yeeee-haw, motherfucker! When you saw opposable thumbs, you should have ran!」

He shouts at the beast, which is now extremely furious and glaring daggers at him. Straf pulls the trigger again, grinning ear to ear.

Clink!… BOOM!

A thin, sparkling blue beam hits the megabeast in the throat. It singes its thick fur, but does nothing more. At the same time, a large blue fireball escapes out of the port for magic gems.

「…Uhhhhh.」

Krrrrk-kkrrrrrrrk…

With his brows greatly furrowed, Straf attempts to flip the lever again. It only moves after applying a lot of force, and makes a horrible sound of glass being grated.

RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

The megagrizzly roars again, and dashes at the two.

「…Yee-haw?」

Straf asks with a tight-lipped grimace on his face, tilting his cowboy-hatted head…