Fffwoom.
The man appears from nowhere with low buzz, then an echoing chime. Whatever this place is, it's not shrouded by fog anymore. At least, not one that can be seen. Moreover, he now can see that he at least has a naked humanoid form, if nothing else.
「Just a whole lot of nothing...」
He notes as he looks around. There is a low, pulsing humm coming from some indistinct direction as well as a very prolonged, stretched sound much like a wind chime...
「Well, that's better than the silence at least. And her-」
Suddenly, a rectangular screen covered in text and numbers appears out of thin air. Slightly transparent and floating in space right in front of him, it strongly resembles…
「A stat screen, huh? Well, she did say as much. I'll give it a free bingo space as far as tropes go.」
His eyes scan the screen quickly, taking in all its elements. He looks at the top right corner.
『9999 points remaining』
「Is that a lot? Guess I'll see...」
He glances at the list of skills, or perks, or traits… Whatever one may call them.
[1000]
[Phylactery Creation] [Extreme Growth] [Portable Storage]
[Encyclopedia of Weakness] [Chameleon] [Animal Friend]
[500]
[Burglar's Feet] [Contextual Time Perception] [Unbound]
…
「1000? Damn, I'm broken OP and get just south 10k? Guess just one of these is stupidly broken.」
「...What's this do?」
He thinks out loud as he looks at [Phylactery Creation] and focuses on it… A sort of tooltip appears just above the skill name.
[Phylactery Creation]
[Active skill]
Enables the user to create 『Phylactery』. In the event of the user's death, 『Phylactery』 will resurrect the user as 『Undead』 of 『Arch-Lich』 type. Creating 『Phylactery』 costs a fragment of user's soul, which deadens emotion-
「Hahaha! 1000 for this garbage?! No thanks. Last thing I need is to get killed by a manhole, get up, and hate what my life has become.」
He reads the next skill description in the list, [Extreme Growth]…
[Passive Skill]
Increases all XP gain by 1000%, boosts natural attribute increases as they are used.
Next level increases surrounding allies' growth by 200%.
「To-point, sweet and simple. But slow growth, struggle, failures, character development by hardships… All are hallmarks of a great story with a good message to give out.」
He extends his index finger, and taps [Extreme Growth] on the list, it lights up, and a bracketed plus sign appears next to the skill's name...
「Which is exactly why I'll be taking this. What kind of an isekai protagonist actually has to struggle? None of them! A shitty training montage isn't a struggle. Not going to run up a bunch of stairs, I'll leave that to some chump. I'm going to be a cliche-hunting menace, not a local sewer rat hunting hero. Though, I have no use for the leveled version.」
「Next… [Portable Storage] already sounds useful right off the bat.」
Enables the user to stow and retrieve any item that may be lifted by the user. Items within portable storage are frozen in time, but no living thing can be inserted. No limit on items stored.
Next level enables user to store small living beings, they are not frozen in time.
『7999 points remaining』
He glances at the point counter as he taps [Portable Storage] with his finger as well.
「No choice but to take this too… Already down 2000 points, huh? As exploitable as the next level sounds, I'll have to skip it. I assume [Encyclopedia of Weakness] lets me know stuffs' weak points, and [Animal Friend] lets me be a fairy tale princess. Worthless.」
「What does [Chameleon] do exactly, though?」
[Active skill]
Enables user to become invisible for 10 minutes once per day. User can still be heard. All worn items become invisible with user, as well as anything living the user touches during activation, as long as physical contact is not broken.
Next level increases uses to once per hour.
「Uh-huh. There it is. The pervert's wet dream. I don't intend to skulk around or flip skirts. Bet the level beyond the next would make it once every 10 minutes. Useful, but no thanks. Maybe some cheaper skills?」
He scrolls down with his hand, as if it were a mere touchscreen.
[500]
[Burglar's Feet] [Contextual Time Perception] [Unbound]
[Farsight] [Magic Eyes] [Regeneration] [Cultivation]
[250]
…
[Burglar's Feet]
[Active skill]
On activation, user's footsteps become completely silent. Jumping, landing and running makes no sound and does not disturb the ground.
Next level applies the effect to puddles of liquids and eliminates their splashes.
The man rubs his chin with his thumb and index finger. He taps the skill's name.
「Now that's a good one, and it 's not too expensive. I'll pass on the next level, it's far too situational for the cost.」
[Contextual Time Perception]
[Passive skill]
Alters the user's perception of time on a contextual basis, allowing the user to perceive fast events and react to them as needed, or accelerate passing time. Does not alter user's movement speed. Maximum perception factor is 200% of base.
Next level activates the skill when user is under attack, even if the user is not aware of any. Increases maximum perception factor to 1000%.
「Huh?! Now that is good, that is stupidly good! And the next level is stupidly good too. 1000 points is a little steep, but it's worth the cost.」
He taps the skill name, then the [+] that appears next to it.
「Wha-」
Next level enables user to activate the skill at will. Increases maximum perception factor to 10000%.
「Holy shit. That's just fucking busted-」
「Wait. I'll be able to see stuff, but not really move all that fast… Damn it. Whatever, it'll come useful anyway. There goes 1500 points.」
He says as he taps the [+] again. The bracketed plus disappears, and small text stating [Max Level] appears above the skill's name.
[Contextual Time Perception]
[Active/Passive skill]
Alters the user's perception of time on a contextual basis, allowing the user to perceive fast events and react to them as needed, or accelerate passing time. Does not alter user's movement speed. Maximum perception factor is 10000% of base.
Maximum level reached.
『5999 points remaining』
「They're evaporating pretty quick. Though I can already safely say I'm pretty broken already as is.」
[Unbound]
[Active/Passive skill]
The user cannot be restrained without his will. Any restraints are undone and slip off on activation.
Next level applies effect to anything holding the user in place.
「That's another great one. I don't want to find myself in a dungeon.」
He once again taps the skill name, and the [+] next to it, but then his eyes widen. [Unbound] has changed its name to [Unstoppable].
[Unstoppable]
[Active/Passive skill]
The user cannot be restrained without his will. Any restraints are undone and slip off when activated. User cannot be held in place without his will.
Next level negates anything slowing the user at discretion, such as liquids or air resistance.
「Shit. I have to take this level too, it's just too good...」
He taps the bracketed plus. [Unstoppable] changes its name again.
[Free]
[Active/Passive skill]
The user cannot be restrained without his will. Any restraints are undone and slip off when activated. User cannot be held in place without his will. Effect negates anything slowing the user at discretion.
Next level ensures the user can always move at speed comfortable to the user.
「I might have to skip this one, but...」
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
『Next level ensures the user can always move at speed comfortable to the user.』
「Doesn't this mean I'd be able to move comfortably during altered time perception? I blew so much points on this already... But I might as well. Fuck the sunken cost fallacy.」
He taps the [+] again. [Max Level] appears above the skill's new name, [Freedom of Movement].
『3999 points remaining』
The dead man eyes the remaining points nervously, and looks at the next skill...
[Farsight]
[Passive skill]
Enables the user to get a sharp view of things twice the normal distance. Passively makes small objects easier to notice. Makes discerning hidden patterns easier.
Next level increases the distance to ten times the normal distance. Makes movement easy to detect.
He sighs as he taps the skill name.
「Another 500 a goner-」
[Eagle Vision]
[Passive skill]
Enables the user to get a sharp view of things ten times the normal distance. Passively makes small objects and movement easier to notice. Makes discerning hidden patterns easier.
Next level removes the limit on view distance. The user can see anything in his line of sight clearly, as long as he is aware of it.
He taps the bracketed plus once more.
「...Make that a 1000.」
[Eagle Vision] changes to [Eyes of Infinity], and the skill gains a [Max Level] above it.
『2999 po-』
「Tsk. Suffering from success. And the next one is...」
[Magic Eyes]
[Passive skill]
The user can see glimmers of recently cast spells, magical traps, as well as magical beings invisible to normal sight. [Magic Eyes] are not obstructed by physical obscurants, such as smoke.
Next level allows the user to gauge living beings' remaining mana, as well as identify what spells were cast from the glimmers.
「Well, that sounds useful, but I'll pass.」
The dead author sounds almost relieved he doesn't have to spend another 500 points.
[Regeneration]
[Passive skill]
Passively increases user health regeneration by a factor of 200%. This is considered an inborn effect, and cannot be dispelled like magic.
Next level increases regeneration factor to 1000%, and includes stamina regeneration.
「Oh! There we go! There's the incredibly fucking stupid, busted, cliche and overpowered skill! Can't believe this thing is only 500-」
He stops and rubs his chin, brows furrowed.
「Wait. That's 200% of normal human regeneration, isn't it? Well, whatever. 1000% still makes a year of healing a fracture only a little over a month. That's insane as-is. And there's the stamina regeneration. I could only dream of being able to exert myself 10 times as much in my last life.」
He taps [Regeneration], and then [+] next to it…
[Regeneration]
[Passive skill]
Passively increases user health regeneration by a factor of 1000%. This is considered an inborn effect, and cannot be dispelled like magic.
Next level increases regeneration factor to 10000%, and includes mana regeneration.
「Of. Course. This is like a Skinner box designed to suck all my points out before I can get any stats, isn't it? Fine, consider me suckered in.」
He taps the [+] again, and sighs with relief as [Max Level] appears.
「Damage report...」
『1499 po-』
「Ah, fuck. I got this far, might as well check out [Cultivation].」
[Cultivation]
[Active skill]
Enables the user to slowly increase his attributes by focusing on it and having a clear mind. Only one attribute may be increased at a time.
Next level increases effect speed.
「Stats? For sitting on my ass? For only 500 points? I don't care how slow it is. Give me that.」
Tap.
『999 points remaining』
「Okay, that's enough. I'm not even going to bother looking through 250s, I'll check out some real scrub skills.」
He waves his hand past the large list of skills, traits, perks… for 250 points. Eventually he reaches the bottom, skills for 25 each.
「Wow. That's a lot. And all of them sound worthless.」
[Ultra Fresh]
[Passive skill]
Ensures the user cannot be stained by anything. The user will never be grimy, and will always smell fresh. Extends protection to the user's clothes as long as they are worn.
Next level makes user's hands inhospitable to micro-organisms.
「I guess this is useful enough, I'll take the next level too. I don't want to die of some nasty disease.」
He rubs his chin as he goes trait-shopping through the list for a few minutes…
「There. That should be enough. How many points does that leave me with?」
『149 points remaining』
「Ack! Shit. That's not a whole lot to go around as far as stats go. Whatever, it should be fine.」
「Now… Stats stats stats… Wait, where are they? How do I even see what do I start with?」
He looks at a segment at the side of the screen…
[ATTRIBUTES]
Strength: 0 [+] Perception: 0 [+]
Agility: 0 [+] Endurance: 0 [+]
Dexterity: 0 [+] Willpower: 0 [+]
Luck: 0 [+] Intelligence: 0 [+]
Charisma: 0 [+] Wisdom: 0 [+]
「All 0? I suppose those are just a bonus to whatever I start with. Now, most people would think to boost their strength, agility, dexterity… Maybe a little intelligence to get the dipshit an edge.」
He smirks at the attribute screen as he starts tapping one of the pluses…
「Not me. I'm already smart. I don't need extra intelligence. Perception? Worthless thanks to my [Eyes of Infinity], Dexterity? What for? [Contextual Time Perception] will bail me out.」
He starts chuckling under his breath as he keeps tapping.
「Now, willpower? Endurance? Sure, those aren't bad… But don't underestimate writers. It takes endurance to stay awake to edit your writing way past midnight, and real willpower to keep working despite knowing very well no one may read your shit!」
His tapping becomes more aggressive and rapid.
「Me? I got it all figured out. Ha. Hahaha!」
His smirk turns into a smug grin as he starts laughing like a madman.
「There. Beautiful. It's finished. I don't need anything else...」
Strength: 0 [+] Perception: 0 [+]
Agility: 0 [+] Endurance: 0 [+]
Dexterity: 0 [+] Willpower: 0 [+]
Luck: 0 [+] Intelligence: 0 [+]
Charisma: [-] 149 [+] Wisdom: 0 [+]
「After all, why would I need any of this trash if all the shopkeepers roll out the red carpet for me, and all the women in a 10 kilometer radius start blushing at my mere presence?」
He spreads his arms as he keeps talking to himself…
「I have it all figured out. If it goes well I'll have an entire harem at the snap of my fingers, I won't even have to do anything! Just let the token animal girl zap everything to death for me!」
His finger hovers to the [FINISH] button in the corner of the screen. He presses it.
[Are you sure you are finished? Yes/No]
「Hahahaha… Ha. Finished? Well, I guess I'm done distributing my points… But it's the next world that's finished! Too long I have watched shit writing take off, I'm going to become a wrecking ball for the next world! A rolling snowball of cliches, but with dung instead of snow! And I'll crash right through its shitty, flimsy 4th wall to terrorize everyone!」