「…Straf? Straf? Straf!」

Cycelia shouts, and only then Straf seems to react.

「Yeah?」

「Are you okay? You spaced out and started to laugh again when I asked you a question-」

Suddenly, the bushes rustle, and Straf immediately clicks his tongue.

「Come on, what now? More goblins?」

He asks the road ahead, and two globs of blue jelly jump out of the foliage onto the road.

「Slimes!?」

Cycelia jumps back with her teeth clenched, and eyes wide open.

「Yeah. Real original and real on time. Whatever.」

Straf sighs with his fists on his hip. He rolls his eyes, and draws his sword. He walks up to the jiggling slimes, with one hand in his pocket.

「Straf! Careful! Just slashing them isn't going to work!」

Cycelia shouts warnings at Straf as he nonchalantly approaches the deadly monsters.

「Yeah, I'm guessing. But I want to find out just how much damage is too much damage for them.」

He says, taking a sideways stance and waiting for the blue slimes to make their move. One of them wiggles and jiggles heavily, compresses flat, then leaps through the air at Straf.

「Heh, you're done.」

Smug grin appears on Straf's face as he predicted the slime's move. He slashes his sword at it while it's still leaping at him. His eyes widen.

「Oh shit!」

Straf exclaims and leaps out of the way, as neatly split two halves of the blue slime continue to fly at his face.

「Straf!」

Cycelia grips onto her sword, but doesn't draw it.

《What can I even do here!? I can't help Straf by just slashing them-》

「I'm fine! I just thought it would fly off into the orbit. I figured it'd act more like a softball, not like a drop of water, or something.」

Straf quickly picks himself up off the ground, and hops between Cycelia and the three slimes in their way.

「Straf, you have to-」

「I know. Freeze them, right? Obviously.」

Straf interrupts Cycelia's fearful shouts with his confident voice. She nods quietly behind her, and she takes a few steps back.

Three shining ice-blue orbs appear out of nowhere, hovering around Straf. Narrow blue beams of light hit the slimes, turning them into massive, crackling boulders of clear ice. Thick vapor emanates from the frozen slimecicles, as Straf walks up to them and casually shatters them into thousands of pieces with a few rapid slashes of his sword, one by one.

Clink! Tink!

Out of the shattered pieces of ice, some items materialize. Straf sheathes his sword and walks closer to investigate.

「Wow. Look at that, another trash drop.」

Straf says with mildly irritated tone as he's squatting down, and he throws the trilliant-cut gem into the [Portable Storage]. He stands up, and looks at the third slime's shattered remains.

「Guess I can't exploit these guys for infinite loot. Too bad- What the fuck?」

Silent fury sets on Straf's face when his eyes glance at the second item on the floor. Cycelia walks up, looking at it as well. Straf picks up the sword, and looks at it fiercely.

「Straf? Is something the matter? …Where did the sword come from? I didn't see anything stuck in the slimes…」

Cycelia looks at Straf's twitching eyelid as he stares focused on the sword in his hand. Her brows furrow as she looks at it as well.

「Son of a fucking bitch!」

Straf unsheathes his sword, and throws it on the ground while screaming.

「Eh!?」

Cycelia gets greatly startled by the outburst, as Straf starts stomping the shattered ice on the floor.

「Every! Fucking! Time! They never drop before you buy one!」

Straf keeps stomping and kicking the frozen slime shards, shouting at the top of his lungs.

「Straf! Calm down! What happened!?」

Cycelia is waving her hands in front of herself, trying to get Straf to calm down. He ignores her, and continues his incoherent shouting for 5 more minutes before calming down…

…

A few hours later, Straf and Cycelia continue along the road. They pass by patches of dense, heavily forested land with massive bushes every now and then. Cycelia glances at Straf's old new sword in her sheath with uneasy expression.

「Straf, are you sure I can have your old sword? You barely bought it-」

「For the last time, yes. Yes, you can have the sword. And please don't rub the freshness of my purchase in my face, Lia. Giving it to you is the only way I can cope with this.」

Straf replies, grimacing as his hand rests on the pommel of his new sword in his sheath.

「Okay… I kind of understand why you were so upset… But I still don't understand where it came from.」

「Don't think about it too hard, Lia. It's the same thing as why wolves sometimes have 5 paws. Or why they have gold. Or why there's torches still lit in a crypt supposedly abandoned hundreds of years ago.」

Straf sighs, and looks at Cycelia with his bored eyes.

「What?- Straf, look! A turtle!」

Cycelia's gaze goes elsewhere, past Straf's face. She runs ahead of Straf towards one of the patches of trees and bushes.

「What are you talking about Lia? There's no chance-」

Straf rolls his eyes, then takes a proper look at where Cycelia is squatting down.

「Wow. No joke, it's an actual turtle. What is it doing here?」

He says as he walks up with his brows raised. He squats down beside Cycelia, as she picks the turtle up by the sides of its shell.

「Look, Straf! Isn't it cute?」

She smiles, presenting the wriggling turtle to Straf. He leans away, as the turtle is flapping its limbs in panic.

「Yeah… I wouldn't go that far. What is it doing here? Waiting for Achilles to catch up?」

Straf asks, poking the turtle in its face with his finger.

「What's Achilles?」

Cycelia tilts her head curiously, still smiling.

「Who. And it doesn't really matter. He's either dead, or fictional and dead. Hrk!」

《Yeah. What a gotcha, huh? You are dead, and she's fictional.》

Straf chokes as he comes to a bitter realization of his insignificance, while staring at Cycelia.

「…Straf? Are you okay?」

She tilts her head, showing a little concern on her face.

「Yeah. I have no choice but to be okay. Cool turtle.」

Straf replies, dejectedly complimenting Cycelia's turtle. She smiles again and nods.

「Isn't it!? You know, turtles are kind of like dragons-」

「Evil, greedy, and live for hundreds of years?」

Straf asks sarcastically, while continuing to poke and aggravate the turtle.

「Straf! I told you that isn't true!」

Cycelia raises her voice with a pout.

「Yeah, yeah. I'm just pulling your leg. Hm?-」

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Straf keeps poking the turtle. The turtle decided it has had enough, and it attempts to bite his finger. Straf feels a familiar sensation. He looks into the corner of his vision, and sure enough, he sees the buff he expected.

[Contextual Time Perception]

[Active]

Perception acceleration factor: 102%

《Seriously? A fucking turtle did it, but some of the fighters in the arena couldn't?》

His bored eyes drift away from the buff's open window down at Cycelia's face. She looks down on the turtle with a wide, happy smile as it wriggles helplessly in her hands. Her eyelashes flutter gently, as her bright green eyes blink in slow motion. They very slowly turn to Straf, and the two lock gaze for a split second. Straf looks down at the turtle.

Its head is slowly making its way towards Straf's finger, jaws wide open. Straf observes with bored eyes as he thinks further.

《Would it even hurt if he bit me? Surely not, right? I mean, it's a turtle. How much can it hurt?》

Straf considers letting the turtle bite him to try, and his eyes drift to Cycelia again. They lock gazes again as she's smiling back at him.

《…Fictional, huh? Sure is going to get lonely eventually if the whole world is filled with people, who just don't get it how ridiculously stupid their world is.》

Straf lets out an elongated, slow motion sigh as his eyes slowly drift back to the turtle in a split second.

《Yeah. I guess if I get bored, I'll just rip the world apart. Dogs are allowed to fuck up the furniture and they get away with it, why can't I? …Man, I had a good thing going, why did that dyslexiac bitch have to ruin it? The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off.》

Straf thinks, as he's looking at the turtle almost biting into his finger. He stares at it with bored eyes, with his mouth in a displeased slant.

《Guess as a punishment, I'll give her a good squee- Hm?-》

Something catches Straf''s attention in the corner of his vision.

「Hrkf!?」

Escapes out of Straf's mouth before he can catch the slightest glance of it. He barrels through the air with a massive trail of blood behind him, as most of his chest is slashed apart and its side torn out.

「Wh-?」

Cycelia blinks, she doesn't even have enough time to be properly surprised as a blue blur and a torrent of violent wind appears in front of her.

Thud!

「Hrk!」

Straf impacts the stone road, landing hard on his back. He continues sliding along the ground, leaving a trail of blood before he eventually slides to a halt.

「…Straf?」

Cycelia continues attempting to parse the bizarre situation. She can't, or doesn't want to process Straf being so badly injured, that he could even be dead. Her neck does its best to prevent Cycelia turning her head to the tall form before her. Her head stutters as it turns, while still holding the writhing turtle in her hands.

Her confused emerald eyes widen, and she quickly drops the turtle onto the ground. She shoots up to standing, and grabs onto her sword. The tall spearman in front of her turns his ponytailed head at her, and they lock gazes.

「Do you want to die as well?」

「W- Wh-?」

The man asks, glaring down at Cycelia with his black, vertically slit eyes. His unusually feminine face clashes heavily with his large biceps, exposed by his short-sleeved, gold-hemmed blue jumpsuit. The contrast becomes ever more so jarring, as his broad-headed spear in his hand drips blood. Straf's.

The blue spearman glares at Cycelia for a moment longer. Her hand shakes on the hilt of her sword, but she can't find enough courage to draw it as his scornful, serious face looks down at her from far above. He turns to walk away, and her head tracks him for the few steps he takes, while he looks at the ground. The shaft of his bloodied spear clanks on the stones beneath him.

He takes one more step, and stops. He lifts his head, staring ahead of himself.

「…Strange. I thought I dealt a mortal blow…」

The man says, and he turns his head over his shoulder with a freezing glare. He ignores Cycelia frozen in panic completely, and his attention is centered on Straf on the road behind him.

「…Hurkf!」

Straf coughs out large amount of blood.

「Either mortal, or deadly enough for you to die in seconds… I suppose that is my bad…」

The spearman says, as he turns around and starts walking towards Straf without the slightest rush in his step. His spear's shaft clanks against the ground. He walks past Cycelia and the turtle. Her hand is still frozen on her sword, and her head jitters as she tracks the spearman.

「S- Sh- St-」

Cycelia's panicked eyes drift to Straf. She tries to shout a warning at him, but as if in a nightmare, no word comes out.

《I have to do something! Straf is going to die! He's really going to die! But what can I even do against someone like this!?》

Her teeth chatter and eyes wetten as the man draws closer and closer to Straf on the ground.

「…I should have known a monster like you wouldn't die, even if killed.」

The spear in the man's hand lowers, and he places its shaft behind his back as he wields it in one of his hands. The broad blade drips Straf's blood even faster, when he points it down and to the side while he walks.

「Fuck! Motherfucker!」

Straf tries shouting, but he only ends up coughing up more blood all over himself, which sluices over his clothes down onto the ground. Despite his injuries and the constant flow of blood, Straf's clothes remain neat, clean, and pretty. Though there is a massive tear across his shirt, and chest…

「Even your blood is abnormal. What an insult to the human form…」

While he takes calm, leisurely steps towards Straf, the man comments the unusual behavior of Straf's blood caused by [Ultra Fresh].

《Ahhh!! This fucking sucks! This is the worst! This fucking hurts like insane! I'd rather get bit by a 100 fucking whatyacallthems from before! Is this karma!? What the fuck!?》

Straf writhes on the ground, clenching his teeth. The spearman draws ever so closer.

《Okay. Quick. I'm not dead yet. Am I going to be? What's my HP?》

480/2815 456/456 3160/3160

[||||||||-------------------] [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||] [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]

HEALTH MANA STAMINA

《Fuuuuck. I'm going to regenerate that, right?》

Straf coughs up more blood, and he looks at his buffs and debuffs.

[Bleeding]

[Stacks: 560] [Damage Over Time] [Status effect]

Target is losing health due to bloodloss. Current loss rate: 1120 HP/60s. Stack decrease rate: 10/60s

Higher stack loss rate: 1122 HP/60s.

Lower stack loss rate: 1118 HP/60s.

《What the fuck!? Am I going to bleed to death!? Why the fuck aren't there stack limits!? Why did I get so many in one hit!?-》

Straf shouts in his mind, he then looks at his mangled chest, with a massive tear through where his heart and one of his lungs should be.

《Oh. Okay, that makes sense. Am I going to die to this bleeding- No. Health is ticking up slowly. But I have bigger problems than the fucking bleeding now!》

Straf's nervous eyes drift up to the blue spearman standing before him. He glares down at Straf with contempt on his feminine face.

《Quick! Zap him with magic! Frost ray! Windbolt! Force ray! Anything! Come the fuck on!》

Straf and the man exchange gazes. A strong wind blows, rustling the trees and the tall grass growing in the fields beside the road, as he towers above Straf. Cycelia is still standing where she was, still frozen and holding onto the hilt of he sword as she stares at Straf and the spearman with panic on her face.

《Don't fucking tell me I can't cast, because I can't focus from the fucking pain! Fuck! This sucks! Is this seriously karma, or did that dyslexiac bitch read my mind and sent an assassin after me!?》

「…I have yet to meet a monster that can survive being beheaded. My mercy for you will be ending your suffering.」

The man's cold, lizard-like black eyes focus on Straf's neck as he speaks. Straf tries to get up, but he finds that his body isn't responding correctly, and he only manages to prop himself up on his elbows as he's lying on his back. He coughs up more blood, and looks at Cycelia and the turtle.

《Don't tell me I'm seriously going to fucking die because a turtle gamed the system. Seriously!? How do I show myself to that dyslexiac bitch if I die like this!? Because of a turtle!? And not even a cool, giant monster one!? Just a regular, garden variety fucking turtle!?》

Straf curses out the turtle as it slowly attempts to escape the scene. The spearman swings his spearhead low behind himself, turning his body sideways and placing one of his feet in front as he prepares to deal an ultimately lethal blow.

「S- Straf… No…」

Cycelia only manages to mumble out singular words as the shock leaves her, and she starts to grasp the situation.

「If you want to curse something, beast, then curse the day you were born…」

The spearman says, tightening his grip on his spear as his black eyes glare down at Straf.

「I wasn't… B- Hrk!」

Straf tries to speak out, but only more blood comes out.

Fwoosh-clank!

「…Huh?」

Cycelia's eyes widen, snapping out of shock. The spearman lunges with his other foot forward, and his eyes widen in surprise. He tugs at his spear with a grunt, adding his free hand to the shaft and tugging at it again. The spear refuses to budge. He looks over his shoulder.

「What!?-」

The spearman exclaims as he sees a girl in a very ornate, black-red dress standing on the flat of his broad spearhead, pinning it to the stone road. He tugs at the spear again, putting all of his force and weight into the pull, but the spear and the girl doesn't even flinch.

「My, having difficulties, are you?」

The blonde, twin-tailed little girl sarcastically asks. Her vertically-slit red eyes narrow at the spearman as she grins at him in smug disdain, revealing her sharp fangs.

「Vampire!-」

The spearman reacts almost on instinct when he sees the fangs, he uses the gothic vampire's uncanny weight on his spear as a leverage point, and he pivots around on the shaft, leg snaps at her face in an imperceptibly fast kick, as if his foot were another spearhead.

「Ha ha ha ha!」

She giggles as she casually dodges by pirouetting aside off the spear. Her ornate gothic dress blooms out as if it were a flower while she spins, and her tall boots clack onto the stone below.

Her pale frail hand turns into a white blur when she jabs her long-nailed hand at his neck. The spearman leaps back far behind Straf with his spear, just narrowly dodging her razor claws. He takes a low stance, pointing the broad spearhead at her as she chuckles softly at the sight.

「Recurrent… Chara!- Khrk!」

Straf's face gains a joyful grin and he tries to exclaim in glee, but then he coughs up more blood…