「Here is your room, Sir Vindict.」

An elderly maid swings the door open, and presents Straf his bedroom. A massive, broad bed bigger than any inn room could ever hope to have sits centered against a decorated wall. For all intents and purposes, this is not a room one would stay only a single day, or two at most in. It is fully furnished, decorated, sparkling clean, the silken blanket is shiny and ironed.

「The breakfast is served early in the morning. I will come to wake you when it's about time. Please, catch any of the maids if there is anything you need. We will be more than happy to help, especially after your help getting rid of that madman.」

The maid smiles, and bows very low.

「Yeah, sure. Nice bed.」

Straf shrugs, replying with a dismissive tone.

「As soft as a cloud, Sir Vindict. Well then, good evening…」

She bows again and leaves, gently closes the door.

「Bet everyone is already sleeping early. Athea, get your ass down here. I'm getting bored, lonely, and I need a deus ex machina to fix it.」

Straf takes a seat on the bed, and says while staring at the ceiling. For a moment, nothing appears to happen.

Pfwooom.

「-hhhhhhhhh…」

Frustrated, Athea appears with her arms crossed in the middle of a heavy sigh. A gentle shift in pressure flutters the bed's canopy.

Pat pat.

Straf pats his lap, Athea rolls her eyes, and sits down. Straf places his hands on her thigh and hip, and takes a look at the clothing beneath her robes.

「I see you took a liking to my gift.」

He says, looking into Athea's cleavage.

「I am wearing it because you'd complain otherwise. What do you want?」

Her blue eyes glare down at him in return.

「Well… The princess is in the correct castle, the kiddie-killing psycho is dead, and there will be much rejoicing on the new government's budget. What am I supposed to do now?」

Plap.

Straf asks as he spreads his hands, then places them back on Athea with an audible slap. She jumps up, grimacing a little.

「…How about actually stopping and enjoying the fact that you are not only on a first-name basis with a queen, but she also allows you to use pet names? You could just marry her-」

Athea glares at Straf with a disapproving, cold grimace. She clicks her tongue as soon soon as Straf opens his mouth to interrupt her.

「No thanks, I want to treat all my harem members equally. If I marry Lia, I'd have to end up marrying you, too-」

「Forget about it! How dare you even imply I would agree on such an outrageous thing!?」

Athea shouts, prying herself out of Straf's loose grasp. She takes a few steps away from him, glaring down at him with a scowl.

「…Nice. Anyhow, that's the problem. Any new girl I'd want to add to the collection…」

Straf looks in silence at Athea's face, appreciating her disdainful grimace, before scoffing and continuing.

「Collection!?」

Appalled, she shouts.

「…Would have to be up for marriage, and you can probably guess the problems involving that. What if she's a queen too? What if their marriage ritual involves some really cringe-worthy quest, and collecting the uncollectibles? What if I have to get real explicit with her to seal the deal? Are you going to be alright with that?」

Straf asks, grinning.

「How about you stop being a degenerate deviant and just settle down!? You can live out the rest of your life in luxury! What is wrong with you!? Have you actually lost your mind!?」

As Athea waves her arms about in exasperation, shouting at Straf in anger, her large chest sways and jiggles. Straf stares at her with his head on his hand, pretending to listen with a slanted mouth.

「Most men would kill over a chance of living your life! Why can't you just be happy with what you have!?」

「…Are you done? It's because I almost had what it would take to make me happy, and then you killed me.」

Straf chops his head with his hand for the emphasis, as he reminds Athea.

「…Then why don't you just pick up writing again? What is stopping you!?」

Athea desperately shouts.

「The fact everyone here can't read for shit. And that I came here to wreck this world, not come up with fantasy stories that would be dismissed because half the stuff in them is no longer fantastical. Did you forget? Are you stupid or something? How low is your intelligence?」

Straf asks, and focuses his eyes on Athea. He stares, and his brows furrow. He squints his eyes, focusing harder.

「…What are you looking at?」

Athea turns away a little, covering herself with her arms the best she can with disgust on her face.

「Did my ability break or something? Why can't I see your stats? Tsk.」

Straf clicks his tongue as the unwarranted status screen pops up in front of his face. He quickly waves it away, and continues staring at Athea. She sighs.

「That's because I don't obey the rules of this world. Why would this work on me?」

She asks with her palm up, shaking her head in disbelief.

「What? You mean you don't have a level? Abilities? Everything?」

「No. Did you before I sent you here? In fact, the people here aren't even aware of such a thing. Only a select few sees things the way you do.」

Athea asks, and Straf raises his finger to reply, but can't come up with anything to say. His brows furrow, and he rubs his chin in intense thought.

「…Would you be worth XP?」

Straf inquisitively looks at Athea with his brow raised.

「I am not going to answer that.」

She replies, visibly disconcerted. Straf sighs.

「Well? Found me anything to do yet? Or do I start fucking shit up?」

Creak!

Straf asks as he stands up, only to dive onto the bed with his back. The bed creaks loudly as he hops into it.

「You mean you weren't already?」

Athea incredulously asks, shaking her head a little.

「Meh. It was low effort. Love taps on this shitty, cursed world.」

「…Everything was low effort world-wrecking so far?」

Straf shrugs while laying on the bed, and his arms plop down loudly onto the blanket. Athea mutters underneath her breath in horror.

「Fine. I will find you something to do, but please, just slow down. I feel like I will see this whole world on fire if I leave you unattended for 5 seconds, let alone 5 minutes…」

Athea sighs, rubbing he brows in frustration.

「Yup. I'm like a kid who just discovered matches are fun to play with. Want to wait and see what will happen, when I find some gasoline laying around?.」

Straf grins at Athea as he runs his hand on the silky blanket.

「Just… Let me find something.」

Fwoom.

Athea pleads, and disappears into a narrow beam of golden light upward.

「…Man, this bed is kind of nice.」

Straf says, and pulls the blanket onto himself. He glances at the window, though it's still early, the sun is starting to set.

「No shit, it really is like a cloud.」

Straf sighs, placing his hands underneath one of the very soft pillows, staring at the red canopy above him…

…

With a quiet grunt, Straf opens his eyes. Somewhat confused, he looks at the window. The sun is shining outside low on the horizon… Albeit from the opposite direction. Straf's brows furrow, as he groggily tries to figure out why the sun has seemingly translocated on the sky.

「Wait…」

He says to himself, before snapping awake.

「Did I just fucking-!?」

Straf's eyes snap open, as he stares at the canopy with his brows raised as far as they go. He grins, and starts to chuckle.

「Nice. No joke, this bed really is like a cloud. Looks like I got so cozy, I fell asleep despite not being tired. Rich people homes are just something completely else. I should take this bed with me…」

Pat pat-

Straf chuckles as he contently pats the bed, and his hand lands on a soft, irregular shape. As he looks down towards his feet, he realizes that something is lying on his chest, and there is a large lump right next to him beneath the blanket.

「Hm? Did I leave something here, and forget-? Wha-」

Straf thinks out loud as he lifts the blanket up. He grimaces a little when he sees what's hiding underneath.

「Haaahhhh… Good morning, Straf.」

Red eyes stare at him from beneath the blanket. Lily yawns, as she stretches out.

「Lily… What the fuck are you doing in my bed?」

He stares at the little vampire that has her pale cheek smooshed against his chest with disapproval on his face.

「I went to the bell tower, but I figured that since I am an official baroness now, I shouldn't sleep in random places like some pauper. I asked the maids for your room, and found you fast asleep. You didn't wake even when I climbed into the bed, so I thought I may as well share the bed with you. Have you slept well?」

Still partially asleep, Lily stares into Straf's eyes as she props herself up on Straf's chest on her elbows.

「I slept, so that's something. Lily, there's going to be really nasty rumors going around if you do something like this again.」

Straf explains with a tight-lipped grimace, still holding the blanket up.

「And what of it, Straf? The masses will always babble and gossip, why should you concern yourself with the opinion of the lowly humans?」

She asks as she pushes herself up off his chest to sit sideways, as if she were a noble lady seated on a blanket near the city's lake.

「I mean, fair point, but you know, I don't want to be accused of shit I didn't actually do. And I'm not going to do this one.」

「Oh, please, Straf. You are far too strong to concern yourself with baseless accusations of anything from the chattel… More importantly…」

Lily misses the point as Straf sits up as well, still cautiously staring at her with a troubled expression. She places her delicate, tiny, pale hands on his shoulders, and leans in.

「…What?」

Straf starts to lean away a little, as Lily leans in. Her scarlet eyes stare into his.

Cla-clack.

「Master Vindict! The-」

The elderly maid from yesterday swings the door open with a smile, only to see Straf sitting in his bed with a little girl with him, very close to his face. The maid's smile twists into openly displayed disdainful disgust very quickly.

「Gah! Wait! It's not what it looks like!」

Straf's eyes bounce back and forth from Lily to the maid for a brief moment, he pleadingly raises his hand at the maid, but she is already slowly pulling the door shut.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

「Wait! I can explain!」

「…We will serve you breakfast when you are done…」

She announces politely, although with a disgusted scowl, and shuts the door. Lily nonchalantly watches the maid, mildly annoyed by the interruption.

「Lily!」

Straf angrily says with a raised voice.

「What? Was there something you needed of the servant?」

Completely oblivious, Lily tilts her head in confusion.

「There's the rumors… At least I can mostly explain this away by the fact that we both have our clothes on…」

Straf rubs his brows in exasperation, forcing his eyes shut to recover from the embarrassment.

「Hmpf, rumors… Straf, after all that happened yesterday…」

Lily once again stares deeply into Straf's eyes.

「What?」

Straf asks, this time with clear frustration in voice.

「…I'm hungry.」

Lily announces, and opens her mouth to reveal her sharp, elongated fangs. She closes her pale, pink lips in on Straf's throat.

Slap.

「Geh!?」

Lily croaks in surprise, not unlike a frog abruptly caught in hand by a child, when Straf shoves her face away with his palm on the entire side of her face.

「What do you think you're doing?」

Straf asks, growing more annoyed by the minute.

「Y- Your neck…」

She meekly points at Straf's throat with her clawed finger, deeply surprised by Straf's reaction.

「Hand.」

He bluntly replies, holding his open hand up in front of Lily's face for her to bite into as before. He retracts his palm away from her face, and she blinks at him, then the hand in front of her in confusion. She sighs in disappointment.

「Very well, then…」

Lily rolls her eyes, and bites into Straf's hand.

Chomp.

「Ow! Shit! Fuck.」

Straf grunts and curses as Lily's lips begin to slurp up the blood flowing from his palm.

Sluuurp. Slurp.

「And don't you dare make any weird sounds! I already have enough to explain!」

Straf cautions as he points at Lily, who is breathing heavily. As she laps up the blood, her tiny nose lets out puffs of warm air onto his hand.

…

Roughly 15 minutes later, Lily finally detaches her fangs from Straf's hand, and licks her bloodied lips.

「Thank you for the treat…」

Lily says, and contently hops off the bed.

「Yeah. Thank you for the irreparable hit to my reputation…」

Straf scoffs angrily, rubbing the already healed site of the bite as the minor bleeding stops.

「What now?」

Lily asks, hiding from the sunlight pouring out of the window.

「Now? I guess I should visit Lia, and see if she's bored of the fancy chair yet.」

Straf stands up with a grunt, he looks over his shoulder at the bed.

「But first…」

He slides his hand underneath it, and lifts it up. A purple vortex spanning half the room opens, and Straf throws the bed inside.

「…You are taking the bed with you?」

Lily asks with her brows furrowed.

「Yeah, what's wrong with that? It's a really nice bed.」

Straf says, and opens the door to leave. Lily trails behind him, and they head for the throne room…

…

After just a brief walk, Straf and Lily arrive to the throne room, where Cycelia is already listening to a report on something important, nodding her head as she sits lazily slouched in the throne. Her tired eyes light up, when she sees Straf enter the room.

「Ah! Straf! I was waiting for you! Thank you, let me know the rest later…」

She calls out to Straf, before turning her eyes to the man kneeling before her. She dismisses him, and he nods his head, then stands up to leave. Straf walks up to the throne with his hands in his pockets, with Lily following close by. The guards are still on edge, after her assertion of dominance from yesterday.

「So, how are things? Country falling apart?」

Straf asks with a grin, spreading his arms. The guards glance at each other, and Cycelia sighs with a troubled expression on her face. She waves a group of courtiers watching her off to the side out of the room, and the men and women bow, before leaving.

「Not quite, but… Straf, the kingdom is somewhat in trouble…」

Cycelia says, nervously twiddling with her thumbs.

「What is it? Bandit warlords? Peasant uprising? Evil necromancer figured out how to dodge labor laws? Alien space bats?」

「Space?… Nevermind that, Straf… We are… In a very precarious financial situation.」

Cycelia shakes her head, and spreads her hands as she timidly explains.

「How precarious? Whoops, we'll need austerity precarious? Or whoops, there goes the global economy precarious?」

Straf asks with his arms spread.

「Well… As it stands… The kingdom's coffers will be completely empty in two days, unless I find a magic way to fix it.」

Cycelia taps her fingers together, with her shoulders slumped.

「Ouch. Yeah, that happens a lot.」

Straf scoffs, placing his fists on his hips.

「So… Straf, I know this is a lot to ask, but could you find a way for the kingdom to at least gain enough funds to not collapse overnight?」

She looks up at Straf with green puppy eyes.

「So… You want me to loan you money?」

Straf sighs, and shrugs.

「Huh? Straf, we are talking about outrageous amounts of gold. Enough to run a kingdom. There's no chance you have enough.」

Cycelia shakes her head and hands, shocked by Straf's outrageous proposition.

「How much do you need, then?」

「Well… A thousand gold would be enough to last us for a decent while… If I cut spending severely.」

Cycelia says, and the guards look at each other in worry for their jobs.

「Well, I'm not giving you that much, I need some myself. Will 700 do?」

Straf shrugs, glancing sideways as he asks.

「Wh-!? What!? You can just give me 700 gold coins like it's nothing!?」

Cycelia shoots up out of her slump in pure wide-eyed shock.

「Loan. Not give.」

Straf corrects her, with his brows rising.

「Ahem… Well… If I may have that loan… It would help a lot. I will let the treasurer know. That solves the problem, at least for the moment. There are problems of beasts, bandits and malcontents roaming about the land, but… I believe I can leave those to Greaves and his party. I have a bigger problem, Straf…」

Cycelia once again becomes visibly discomforted, and takes a deep breath, then sighs.

「And that is?」

「Straf, my family's summoning grimoire is missing. I have ordered a full palace search for it yesterday. The guards, the cultists, the maids… They all have failed to find it. It's missing from its usual place, which leads me to believe it was stolen by somebody, quite possibly some time ago before I regained the throne.」

Cycelia explains with a deeply concerned, serious face. Her hands are clasped together in her lap, and she twiddles her thumbs to comfort herself.

「Riiight… Stolen grimoire… Added to my quest journal. Anything else?」

Straf acts out writing something in an imaginary notepad with his hands, and then throws his hands up as he asks.

「I don't think I have to say what could happen, if it fell into the wrong hands, Straf. If we are lucky, it'll wind up somewhere on the black market due to a clueless thief, and we'll be able to easily recover it. If not… I fear the worst. Please treat this problem as priority.」

She nods her head as she requests.

「Okay. So, are we going to look for it then?」

Straf asks Cycelia, nodding his head towards the doorway.

「Um… Straf, about that…」

Cycelia lowers her head, becoming visibly more sheepish than she already was.

「Yeah?」

「I have more work to do. It's very important, and you would be very distracting. I can't go with you. Can you leave?」

Cycelia requests, nervously tapping her fingers together as she avoids looking up at Straf.

「Wait, you're kicking me out!?」

Straf exclaims in shock. Cycelia immediately starts frantically shaking her head and waving her arms about.

「No, no, no, no, no! I phrased it wrong! It's just for two weeks, while I work on something. You are more than welcome to stay in the palace, but… Could you leave me alone, and not visit the third floor at all? There is something I must work on, and I would like you to see it when it's finished, but… After all that happened, you would be very distracting right now…」

Cycelia says, twirling her chestnut hair around her finger as she looks aside, slightly sullen.

「Whew. I thought it was one of those so long, and thanks for all the water chips kind of situation.」

Straf exhales in relief, but then grimaces.

「Tsk. What is so important that you need to become a temporarily static harem member? Is it more important than the MacGuffin grimoire?」

Straf asks, somewhat disappointed as the realization dawns on him. Meanwhile, Lily is broadly grinning.

「The grimoire is indeed important, Straf. But I cannot be in two places at once, and only I can do this. I trust you with my life, and I have no choice but to trust you with the well-being of my kingdom as well. Please, do your best to pick up a trail of the grimoire, and then come see me in two weeks' time.」

Cycelia speaks, looking at Straf with a serious and determined face. He rolls his eyes, then throws his hands up.

「Fine. Two weeks of time-wasting adventure, here we go. While I'm still here, could I borrow your scepter?」

Straf asks, placing his hands back in his pockets.

「Huh? The scepter? Why? It's an extremely important piece of the regalia, Straf. If you'd lose it-」

She blinks, somewhat apprehensive of Straf's motives.

「I'm not going to lose it, come on Lia. I just want to borrow it for a little moment. I'll bring it back.」

Straf scoffs at Cycelia's worry with furrowed brows and a slanted mouth. She groans quietly in worried discomfort, before turning her face to the young captain beside her throne.

「Captain, bring me the scepter, please…」

「Yes, your highness!」

The captain runs off to the side passage, and after a minute or two, he returns with the scepter of solid gold in his hands.

「Give it to Straf, and please take him to the treasurer.」

She politely commands the captain, and he nods his head in response.

「Yes, your highness!」

He exclaims again, and runs up to Straf, presenting him the golden scepter of the Redwing family. Straf nonchalantly takes it one hand, then throws it into [Portable Storage].

「Cool, thanks. Off to have an adventure worthy of an adventurer I go, wooooo… See you in two mind-rottingly boring weeks, Lia.」

Straf turns around and heads for the door with his hands in his pockets, as he lets out a dissatisfied sigh. Lily follows him closely, grinning massively in glee.

「I will await your return, Straf. Stay safe.」

「Yeah, yeah, yeah…」

Straf clicks his tongue, and sighs as he leaves the throne room with Lily and the young captain.

「Straf, may I suggest visiting my castle, considering you now have some time?」

Lily tugs at Straf's sleeve as she walks beside him, looking up at him with a gleeful, smug grin, certain of her victory.

「Hm? Yeah, I guess, sure. I guess there's no harm done if I take a look around, but first I want to hit up the adventurers' guild for some points of interest…」

Straf's voice trails off as he looks at the ceiling, thinking. Satisfied, Lily chuckles quietly, as the anxious captain leads Straf to the treasury room. Straf dumps eye-popping 700 pieces of gold coins onto the floor after roughly half an hour of throwing them by the handfuls, then nonchalantly leaves the palace with Lily, with the maids giving him a disgusted glare as they pass by…