「…What was I up to, again?」

Straf asks himself with his brows lightly furrowed, looking around. Mountains surround the village, and the people themselves are either busy with field work, or otherwise tending to tasks like repairing a crooked animal pen fence.

On the muddy dirt path running along the center of the village amidst the rustic houses stands a young boy. Despite him being turned away, Straf recognizes him immediately.

「What's he doing here?」

Straf thinks out loud as he heads towards the young boy.

「Hey, Carrothead, what's up? What are you doing here?」

He asks, and the boy turns around to look at him.

「Carrothead? What are you talking about?」

Young Greaves asks with a tinge of physical pain in his voice, wincing as he's looking up at Straf with brows furrowed in confusion, clutching onto his bandaged hand. It's badly swollen, and a bad bruise is showing in spite of the bandage.

「Wow. What the fuck happened? You're even smaller now.」

Straf asks with his brows furrowed, placing his fists on his hip as he looks down on the young boy.

「What do you want from me?」

Greaves asks with a squinting glare and an annoyed tone, though he's still grimacing in pain.

「…Honestly, I'm not sure myself. It's weird. How about you tell me what are you doing here?」

Straf looks around the village again, and shrugs his shoulders before turning his eyes back to the tiny boy with a massive orange mass of hair.

「What do you mean, 「What are you doing here?」. I live here.」

Greaves replies with an annoyed, yet pained tone.

「What? Here? Why?」

Straf asks, spinning around on his heel to get another good look of the village. Nothing really stands out, other than a relatively large tree growing along the dirt road, and a little open-air smithy attached to a house.

「What do you mean why? Who are you anyway? You're weird.」

The young boy asks with wary eyes.

「What? What the fuck do you mean who am I? Looking a few years younger won't spare you from a backhand-」

Straf takes offense to the question, and starts barking back a vague threat before he notices the bandage on the boy's hand.

「…Who did that to you?」

He points at the boy's bandaged hand.

「…Me.」

Young Greaves quietly replies as he looks aside with his mouth aslant.

「Wow. You have to be the special kind of stupid to mess your hand up this bad.」

Straf scoffs in amusement at Greaves's expense with a grin on his face and his fists on his hip.

「…Yeah, I guess I am.」

Greaves shrugs, scrunching his mouth to the side.

「…At last you truly see!」

Straf throws his hands up with a smug grin, and walks up beside Greaves.

「Still… Something is… Weird here.」

Straf takes a look at the village periphery. Two children are playing some sort of a game involving small stones within a small area on a hill above the crops. Straf immediately recognizes the glasses and the bowl-cut on one of them.

「Ah. There's the twerp.」

Straf remarks, looking at young Will in the distance.

「Huh?」

Greaves looks up at Straf, then at the two children on the hill.

「What? You mean you don't recognize the twerp too?」

Straf asks pointing his palm at the hill.

「I recognize him… That's Will and Alicia. They're from the village, too.」

Greaves says, and turns his gaze away to the side.

「At least you recog- Wait, fucking what!?」

Straf's eyes widen in surprise. He grabs onto Greaves's shoulder, and points at Alicia while leaning down to match his height better.

「You mean that's Alicia!? Seriously!?」

He glances at Greaves with pure shock on his face, then looks back at Alicia as she ponders the small stones laid out before her deeply with her thumb and finger on her youthful chin.

「What!? What's so weird about that!?」

「She shrunk! I mean… She looks a little cuter like this, but her chest shrunk too! It's gone!」

Straf exclaims, pointing at the little girl as she picks up one of the small stones and repositions it. Greaves breaks free of Straf's grasp, side-stepping away with disgust on his face.

「Are you some sort of pervert!? Do you like kids!?」

Greaves shouts with a glare, shielding himself with his unbroken hand.

「Hey! I get enough of baseless accusations at the palace, you little shit! I don't need you to dogpile onto me too! I'm just saying she experienced some remarkable character development!」

Straf points his hand at Greaves with a scowl, shouting back. The back and forth seems to attract attention from Will and Alicia, and they look at them both for a brief moment before returning back to whatever it is they were doing, breaking eye contact.

「…Basically, you are blessed to have an approachably plain, yet stacked friend like her. You won a lottery, and you don't even know it.」

Straf snaps his fingers, pointing at Greaves's face with a disdainful grimace.

「…She's not my friend.」

Greaves turns away, grumbling under his breath.

「Huh? Excuse me, am I fucking missing something? Aren't you friends with that twerp and Alicia?」

Straf shrugs his hands in confusion, with a little shake to his head added.

「They're not my friends.」

Greaves insists, almost growling.

「What, are you going through a phase, or something? 「I don't need friends when I have my own power!…」 or something like that? Or is it 「We're more than just friends!」 with her?」

Straf turns around and strikes an exaggerated pose, turning his hand into a claw-like shape while supposedly quoting Greaves with a deep, overdone voice. He then asks another question with a completely normal tone.

「They're not my friends!」 「I heard you the first time…」

Greaves screams with his voice cracking, facing away from Straf. Straf turns back around, placing his hands in his pockets, and looks at the angsty boy with a tight-lipped grimace.

「They're not my friends. Why would they be? They have plenty of fun on their own. If they wanted to be friends, they'd say something. I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid. I can read the room.」

The young boy says with a voice on the verge of tears, looking down at the muddy path below him while clutching onto his injured, swollen hand.

「…Have you tried actually walking up and asking?」

Straf asks, spreading his hands and tilting his head.

「And then what!? They'll just tell me no thanks and I'll look like an idiot for trying.」

Greaves peeks over his shoulder at Straf with a pained grimace and wet eyes, before his eyes return to the dirt road.

「If you are worried about looking like an idiot, it's a little too late, buddy…」

Straf says, and looks at the children on the hill, also sneaking a side-glance towards the village.

「…Do you ever get that feeling, like you forgot something important, and you don't know what it is? The sense of impeding doom, but you don't even know why? The thing that makes you get up from the bed, because you're not sure if you turned the oven off?…」

Straf remarks, placing his fists on his hip with his brows furrowed as he continues looking around, but nothing really catches his eye.

「What?… How do you turn an oven off?…」

「…Or look into the fridge to see if you forgot about something nearing the expiry date?」 「Fridge?」

Straf says, rubbing his chin with his thumb and finger intensely, his brows greatly furrowed.

「What are you talking about?… Are you some sort of crazy person?」

Greaves asks with his eyes squinted and jaw half-dropped in utter confusion.

「Welp. If it was that important I wouldn't just forget about it, so whatever. And while I do not disagree there might be a problem with my head… It's you who has a major problem with his head…」

Straf says, pointing his finger at Greaves again. He then lifts his palm above the young boy's mass of orange hair.

「…And it's not that stupid hai-」

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《Ohh sshhiiit I forgot!!-》

Rustle.

「…ssht!- Huh?」

With his face twisted into a teeth-clenched panic, hissing a curse word through his teeth, Straf slaps his palm down onto the boy's spiky orange hair. To his surprise, it doesn't impale his hand.

「…Why is it soft?」

Straf quietly asks, mystified by the strange properties of the orange mass of hair.

Slap!

「…Because that's my hair you weirdo! Shit, am I actually in danger!? You like kids after all!?」

Greaves slaps Straf's hand out of his air, and jumps back with tangible fear on his face.

「Hey! First off, I like girls!- No!! Hold that! You'll take it out of context!」

Straf shouts, pointing at Greaves. His eyes widen when he realizes his mistake. He throws his head aside in a powerful denying shake, and immediately corrects himself. They look at each other in silence, while Straf scowls at young Greaves.

「…My point is, are you some sort of fucking loser? What are you? A NEET that plans on spending his whole life in his room?」 「Ni-? What?」

Straf throws his hands up in frustrated disbelief, glaring down at Greavs.

「You think you'll get meals delivered to your door every day, forever? Ohhh I'm so scared of going out and talking to people! They might make fun of me and be mean!」

Straf mocks Greaves in a high pitched voice, wiggling his body left and right in a mangled, verbose paraphrasing of his words.

「What?」

Greaves snarls, glaring up at Straf, looking visibly more angry by the second.

「Buddy, one day your parents are going to fucking die, and the free meals will stop coming. And then what?」

「My parents are dead!」

Greaves shouts in anger with a scowl, throwing his unbroken hand to the side.

「Excuses.」

Straf shrugs his shoulders dismissively with his fists on his hip.

「My point is, when that happens, you'll be hoping for your phone to explode in your face, and that you'll find yourself dragged to another world…」

「What is a phone!? You're talking nonsense! You're actually a crazy person!」

「…Pushing 40s, no work experience to speak of, and big dreams of having your own harem of slave girls who love you. Right? There's a funny pattern… They never love their master for his personality, because he has none.」

Straf ignores Greaves, and talks over him while pointing a finger in his face.

「His personality is being strong. That's it. Not even headstrong or strong-willed. Just strong. He's OP. His stat sheet is huge. He has a cheat power. That makes him a great, lovable guy. Right?」

Straf asks, and nods his head up at Greaves.

「…I don't have the slightest idea what you are talking about. You lost me at fridge!」

Greaves points his finger back at the stark raving mad lunatic.

「Tsk. Of course you don't. Because this wish fulfillment tripe is natural to you. People don't act like people, because you don't know people. Everyone is a caricature. The villains are always comically evil, and the hero is always right. But you know what?…」

Straf continues on his tract with his fists on his hips, glaring with a disdainful look of superiority down at the young boy.

「…What?」

Greaves anxiously asks the madman.

「Fuck you. I'm going to fix you.」

Straf declares, shoving his finger in Greaves's face again, causing him to reflexively recoil back.

「What?-」

「Let's go.」

Straf says, and picks up the young boy under his arm.

「What are you-!? Hey!- Stop! Let go of me! Put me down!」

Greaves starts shouting, throwing his arms and legs about, wriggling like a worm under Straf's arm.

「Still, something feels off. But I can't quite put my finger on it.」

Straf remarks, and places his free hand in his pocket. With his brows furrowed, he looks around for something vague as he heads for the hill.

「Help! Help! I'm being kidnapped! Help! He likes kids!」

Greaves shouts towards the village with his eyes wide open.

「Tsk. You're going to regret this slander soon enough…」

Straf shakes his head with a tight-lipped grimace on his face.

「Let go!-」

Pat!

「Augh! My hand!…」

Greaves whimpers when he hammers Straf in the stomach with his injured hand. He immediately stops thrashing around, and clutches onto his aching hand instead.

「Heh. Serves you right.」

A snide grin appears on Straf's face. He side-glances at Greaves under his arm, quite enjoying the fact that he hurt himself. Straf walks past a crop field with Greaves in his grasp, and starts climbing up the grassy hill.

「Now listen here… You're going to talk to people. I don't care if it's because you've suddenly become a social butterfly, or because you think of everyone as an animal that's beneath you. That's a good trick, by the way…」

Straf keeps talking to Greaves as the crest of the hill approaches.

「…I don't care if you crawl right back into your room like a little maggot. I don't care if you hate people and want nothing to do with them. I don't care if you don't want a job…」

「Help! He's kidnapping me! And he likes kids!」

Greaves shouts towards Will and Alicia when they come into the view. With huge eyes, Will jumps in front of Alicia, extending his arm to the side to shield her further when he hears the young boy's bold claim.

「Actually, I hate little shits like you. You make me die inside of cringe.」

Straf says, and plants the boy's feet on the grassy hill. Greaves appears a little surprised he's been actually placed back down.

「You're at the very least going to become capable of being a functioning member of society. I don't care if you end up rejecting it all, but I'm not going to let yet another wish fulfillment tripe borne out of fear real world crop up if I can help it.」

Straf heavily places his hand on Greaves's shoulder, and looks at young Will and Alicia.

「Hey. This dipshit has a question for you.」

He announces, with one hand in his pocket and the other on Greaves. Will and Alicia anxiously glance at each other.

「Go on.」

Straf glances at Greaves, and nods his head towards the two. He then roughly shoves Greaves towards them.

「Gah! Augh! My haaaand!」

Thud.

Greaves flies forward and slams face-first into the ground. With a tight-lipped grimace on his face, Straf's brows rise, and his now-free hand slowly slips into his pocket.

「Whoops.」

He shrugs, and looks aside.

「Hey, are you alright?」

Will kneels down while Greaves spits dirt out of his mouth.

「Yeah…」

Greaves sucks air through his teeth, rising to his knees clutching at his hand. Will helps him stand up the rest of the way.

「…You wanted to ask us something?」

He adjusts his glasses, and asks. Young Greaves shifts around in place uncomfortably, peeking at Straf over his shoulder with a mildly embarrassed and disconcerted expression. An awkward silence begins.

「Come the fuck on. Just say it. People like to be pricks, because being nice and kind is draining, but not everyone is a landmine.」

Straf insists, shrugging his hands in frustration. The young orange-haired short boy's eyes return to the other young boy.

「And there is only one way to find out who is who. Ask.」

He adds, with palpable exasperation in his voice.

「…Do you want to be friends with me?」

Greaves quietly asks, unable to look Will or Alicia in the eyes.

「Yeah. But I don't know any fun games for three people. I guess we can play hide and seek if you want…」

Will shrugs his shoulders, gently moving his hands down at his sides too. His eyes jump to Straf.

「…Is that guy actually a child molester?」 「Hey.」

Will asks Greaves, pointing at Straf.

「…I don't know. Maybe?」 「Hey!」

Greaves warily looks over his shoulder at Straf, and shrugs. Straf's upper lip's corner twitches in frustration.

「Well, let's go to the grove behind the lake, then. But no hiding outside of it, alright?」

「I guess.」

Will and Greaves agree on ground rules, and they set off down the hill with Alicia in tow closely behind. Straf looks on with his fists on his hip as they depart, and nods with victorious satisfaction.

「Welp. Failure is guaranteed if you don't try. What a tragic loss of magic potential detection crystals, adventurers' guilds, cities with rivers running through them, unconditional slave harem love, magic academies, beach episodes-」

Straf keeps watching the kids as they walk down the dirt road towards somewhere, talking to himself with a smug grin before his brows abruptly furrow.

「…Hold on. Something is off after all.」

He thinks out loud, rubbing his chin. He then pulls his hand away, and looks at his arm.

「Wasn't this one broken and-?」

Straf's eyes squint suspiciously at the arm not in a cast, nor in a sling around his neck…