「Uuuogggghh… Unnffhhhhghh…」

Straf stares at the groaning fat man on the ground at his feet, then raises his eyes. He managed to topple just about everyone in his path, soldier and civilian alike. The man is now wriggling on the ground, wincing from pain, grunting and groaning heavily.

「…Hoooagggh… Aggghhh… Everything hurts… Gahhh…」

The fat man declares as he lifts himself back up to his knees through a lot of effort. Stripe lets out a relieved sigh when she realizes she hasn't killed anyone with the massive projectile.

「…Stripe… What is the meaning of this?」

Straf asks, pointing his hand at the man delivered to his feet. Lily looks at him with a disgusted, disdainful glare.

「That's the king! I caught the fat ugly bastard!…」

She proudly declares as she jumps out of the extra kubelwagen and begins running to Straf.

With the vehicle still in first gear, it begins to slowly roll forward towards the battered crowd.

「Put it into neutral!」

Straf exclaims, pointing his hand at the car behind her. She stops.

「Huh?」

She tilts her cloth-wrapped head, blinking her golden eyes at him.

「The car! Hit the brakes and put it into neutral before you become an example of why women shouldn't drive!」

Straf replies, raising his hand higher and pointing it at the rolling kubelwagen again.

「Eh?- Ah! Ah!」

Though the car is slow, she jumps up in panic when she sees it advancing towards the crowd all on its own. She runs back and hops into its driver's seat, then stomps on the brake.

「…What's neutral!?」

With her eyes wide open, she shouts back, raising her gaze from the pedals. Straf's shoulders slump.

「…Seriously? You just kind of winged the driving lessons to get here?…」

He asks with a tight-lipped grimace, spreading his arms before returning his fists to his hips.

「…Just put the gear stick back where it was in the middle, then give the other stick a good hard tug.」

He adds with a large sigh, shrugging his shoulders.

「Huh? Gear stick?… This, right?…」

Stripe looks down to her immediate side, and finds two sticks between the seats. One is upright, and one is almost fully lowered. She stomps on the clutch and switches the gear back to neutral.

「…Hmpf!」

As instructed, she then gives the parking brake a rough pull. Nothing happens, and she looks to Straf.

「…You gotta to press the button on it first.」

Straf explains with his mouth aslant, while the fat king slowly recovers and lifts himself to his feet through another burst of gargantuan effort.

「Ah… Like this?」

Krrrkkkkk!

Stripe then presses the button on the parking brake and gives it another hard pull, causing it to let out a horrible grinding sound. She jumps up with her eyes wide.

「It's supposed to make a sound like that. Now turn the engine off just to be sure…」

Straf gives her another instruction with a dismissive wave of his hand, then turns his gaze and slanted mouth to the fat king, who is encircled by both the civilians and the soldiers.

「…So. You're the sole proprietor of this kingdom's calories, huh?」

He asks the fat man as he manages to finally get up to his feet.

「What?」

Panicked he looks at Straf, then swivels his head around. The gazes of the people staring at him range from apathetic to hateful.

「You heard me. This is kind of off-script… But whatever, I can work with this. You're coming with us. I've got some maps that need fixing, and I'm not printing revised versions.」

Straf scoffs, smirking as he places his hands in his pockets, but not before gesturing his hand to the soldiers.

「…What are you planning to do with me!?」

The fat king exclaims in terror as two infantrymen approach to grab him by his pudgy arms.

「We'll see. For now, I only have a draft in my head for your ass… Put his fat ass on one of the supply wagons and guard him. But before that…」

Straf gains a malicious grin, and approaches closer.

「…Where do you keep your food?」

He asks, narrowing his eyes in a scornful glee…

…

Half an hour later, in a warehouse district, near a suspiciously grand warehouse…

Straf, the hungry band of citizens, a handful of soldiers, the king in their grasp, and a few trailing officers approach a large, stone warehouse. It sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the adobe buildings, being the sole construction of stone, and well maintained at that. Straf stops and looks up to size up the building. It really would not take long for someone to realize that this building holds some significance, if only for its size alone, as it dwarfs the pitiful huts next to itself.

「…Is this it?」

Straf asks with a nod of his head towards the stone warehouse.

「I- I think so!… I never deal with mundane, day-to-day things like handling food!」

The fat king nods his head, keeping himself as small as his wide frame will allow.

「Buddy, I can see handling food is all you do…」

Scoffing, Straf shakes his head and approaches the door with one of the officers. The mustached man pushes down on its handle, then yanks back and forth at the door.

「Locked, sir. Should we bring a battering ram?-」

SLAM!

The officer asks, and before he can finish his sentence, Straf gives the door a rough kick. It flies out of its hinges, shattering into tiny splinters as its remnants shoot into the warehouse.

…Thump!

「I've got a mighty foot handy…」

Straf nonchalantly declares while everyone watches on in shock. The larger chunks of door slam into a distant wall, and the noise echoes out through the now open doorway.

「…Let's see.」

He says, entering the building with a handful of officers.

The warehouse is dark, dusty, and most importantly, filled with stacks of crates up to the ceiling. There are some crates open by the entrance, and Straf peeks inside.

「Uh-huh… So this is where he keeps his genetics…」

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Straf scoffs, noting the bags of spices, sugar, flour, and other readily storable edible goods lining the crates. The warehouse is completely full of crates like the open ones, presumably keeping enough food to last an entire generation, assuming the generation only consists of a handful of people.

「…Alright! Move the empty supply wagons here! Load them up with the best stuff you can find!」

He turns around and waves his arm in a circle to the officers standing by the door. They nod, and run out. Straf looks over his shoulder one last time, and exits as well.

「Sir…」

One of the senior officers approaches Straf when he emerges outside.

「Yeah?」

「…Since we are planning to leave… When the wagons are full, shall we set the rest of the supplies on fire to deny them to the enemy reinforcements?」

The mustached man asks, peeking into the dark warehouse through the open doorway. Straf turns his gaze towards it, grimacing slightly. His bored eyes return to the officer, then drift to the crowd of hungry citizens hoping for more food. He ponders the crowd, grimacing some more.

「…Nah. Let them eat food. They should know the queen loves to throw feasts, and their first one is free.」

An amused huff escapes Straf's nose as he gains a smug grin. He nods at the starving crowd, then shrugs. After a moment, the empty supply wagons roll up, soldiers dismount, then begin pouring in and out of the warehouse, throwing bags of virtually everything into the wagons while the fat king watches on in horror.

「Sir.」

The officer nods his head, and backs away. Straf and the officers wait for the wagons to fill up. When the soldiers finish loading them up, they drag the king towards the back, and through team effort, load him on as well. Straf walks out in front of the open doorway and faces the hungry crowd.

「Okay everyone!… This is the moment you've been waiting for!…」

Straf exclaims, bringing their attention to himself. Their sunken cheeks and eyes turn to him.

「…I am Straf! Katastrof! Vindict!… I am Redwing Kingdom's Minister of War, and I'm here to carry out the queen's will!…」

He declares in a loud, lofty voice, grinning at the crowd. Their faces become troubled when they hear the words war and Redwing Kingdom, but continue listening.

「…And the queen's will is a feast! You're free to help yourself to anything inside! Snack on the wood from the crates if you want to! Everything's free! First come first serve!」

Straf adds, and points his thumb over his shoulder at the open warehouse. The people exchange hesitant glances, then take cautious steps towards the building as Straf moves out of the way. When they realize the warehouse is filled with edible goods, they begin rushing in, swarming the door and squeezing in. A singular chuckle escapes Straf.

「…We don't need to burn shit, hungry rats will pick it all clean.」

He says to the senior officer standing beside him as the army watches the starving citizens loudly rip crates apart and tear the sacks to access the food within.

「Okay! Nothing left for us here! We're heading back!…」

Straf once again raises his arm, waving it in a circle high above his head. The supply wagons turn around, and follow him back to the city gate while the hungry mob ravages the warehouse…

…

A little over quarter of an hour later…

Straf and the supply wagons return to the two kubelwagens parked off to the side, and to the bulk of the forces guarding the gate. Lily, Nona, and Stripe turn their eyes to him.

「Straf. Are we returning back to the kingdom, then? Just like that?…」

Lily asks with her loose fists on her hips, tilting her golden head. Her twin tails jiggle slightly.

「Yup. We're done here… Kinky outside-kitty, you're driving the other car back.」「Stop calling me that!」

Straf nods while approaching the conventional kubelwagen. Stripe instantly returns a shout back.

「…You won't raze the city? No mass slaughter? No looting?…」

Lily furrows her brows, blinking her confused crimson eyes at him.

「Yup. We're just heading back. You don't kick the dog you just fed, Lily.」

Vrrrrrrrrrrtrtrtrtrrrrrrmmm!…

With a tight-lipped grimace on his face, Straf returns a nod as he turns the car key. The kubelwagen shakes violently before settling down.

「…Why? They've disrespected you terribly, and they didn't yield. They deserve to die.」

Still confused, Lily approaches the kubelwagen and hops in, taking a seat beside him.

「Well, I really wanted to rub it in those three pricks' faces, but the cat kind of ruined it… Forget it, Lily. I've got plans for the citizens here.」

Straf nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, and glances at her. Her brows rise.

「Heh… I see. That makes sense. As expected, Straf.」

Crossing her arms, Lily lowers her head with a massive smug grin on her face.

「Why do I have to drive this thing again!? Why is it even here!? I thought there was only one!」

With her arms crossed at the silent kubelwagen's wheel, she throws her arms up in frustration, before crossing them again. She turns her golden eyes and scrunched, displeased face to Straf.

「There is only one… Officially. But you've ruined things, and now you're going to drive it. End of.」

Straf replies with a shrug, then fiddles with the gear stick.

Vrrrrrroooommmm…

The kubelwagen's idle engine roars, and Straf takes a turn towards the open city gate, slowly rolling away.

「Tsk… He didn't even praise me or anything…」

She grumbles with Nona sitting beside her, who tilts her capped head.

WHIRRRRR!

Stripe presses down on the accelerator, pushing them both into their seats.

CLANG!

「Ungh!」「Oof!」「Gah!」

The autowagon shoots forward, then slams into the soldiers standing a few paces ahead of it. They're knocked backwards and sent sliding across the street. Straf smoothly slows to a halt.

「…Good job! Remind me to give you a ticket when we're home!」

Looking backwards with his elbow on his seat, Straf exclaims towards Stripe.

「It's not my fault! This thing either doesn't move, or it moves too fast!」

She shouts back with her golden eyes wide open. Stripe then turns them to the scowling soldiers, who are slowly picking themselves up, and angrily glaring at her. She lets out a sigh of relief.

「Have you tried being gentle with the pedal, stupid!?」

Straf asks, then throws his hand up with his mouth aslant.

「Eh?…」

Stripe's head perks up, and she looks down at her feet.

「…N- No…」

She replies, and shamefully turns her gaze away. Straf shakes his head, then continues onward, rolling outside the city.

Vrrrrrrooooooommmmmmmm…

「…How was I supposed to know that? This thing is complicated enough as it is.」

She grumbles, straining as she turns the wheel towards the gate, then gently presses her foot down on the accelerator.

Whirrr…

The autowagon lets out a gentle whirr, and begins rolling towards the gate, joining Straf as the rest of the caravan follows after them…