Straf and Lily conspicuously make their way through the capital’s streets, still casually terrorizing the local populace. They reach what Straf believes to be the quiet cafe he once visited with the queen, but now its front is staffed by two young and attractive women dressed in what masquerades as a maid uniform.

A maid uniform it would be, at least, if its length stretched beyond the knee. The women beckon, orbit and hover around passersby, some of which making polite excuses before departing while staring at the maids’ exposed thighs, and some are lured into the cafe, while staring regardless.

「Uhh… Do we have the wrong place?」

Straf asks himself of all the people, as he walks closer with Lily and takes a look at the sign. Indeed, it is the same sign as he saw before belonging to the quiet and dim cafe empty of customers.

「Straf, what kind of a business is this? I can’t say I pass through here often, but…」

Lily comments, looking at the two indecently dressed women with disdain in her scarlet eyes.

「Let’s find out-」

Before Straf can finish his sentence, one of the maids begins orbiting him, too.

「Master! Why not stop by for the greatest coffee of your life?」

The woman shamelessly asks, pointing her palm at the cafe’s door.

「Well I am going in, but what’s with the outfits? Did the cafe change hands? Has the old man dropped dead? What’s going on?」

Straf asks while the skimpy maid nearly clings onto his arm. Her uniform does very little to hide her cleavage from sight, especially from this angle.

「Oh, no! The owner is still very well! Great, even! Do you know him personally, master?」

She asks, swinging the door open for Straf. He nods for Lily to follow along and enters.

「Guess so… Boy, do I have questions now.」

Straf enters. His brows furrow when he realizes the once quiet and dim cafe is now almost entirely packed with customers and indecently-dressed women in pseudo-maid uniforms serving them.

「Ah, a table for two? Right this way, master!」

A woman immediately takes Straf off the other maid’s hands and leads him to the same booth table he once sat at with Cycelia. He and Lily sit down, and the maid immediately gives them both a fancy and decorative menu card. Seemingly no expenses were spared in presentation.

「A coff- Wait, what the fuck? What happened to the prices?」

Straf looks up from the menu in eyes-narrowed shock. He looks up at the maid next to the booth waiting to take their order for an answer, while Lily reads through the menu with a bored and uninterested expression.

「Um, the prices?…」

The maid leans in towards Straf, letting him catch an even better view of her cleavage while brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear.

「Yeah. Things were already overpriced when I first got here. Now a coffee is four times the last price. Get me the owner.」

Straf says and slaps the menu down onto the table with a ridiculing slanted mouth.

「But, um… We don’t set the prices-」

The maid straightens up, somewhat surprised Straf’s reaction is what it is. She attempts to bargain, and the fear of management being called in starts setting in.

「I know, okay? I know you’re probably used to customers screaming at you for everything except the things that can be your fault. I hope you’re at least being compensated fairly for letting everyone see your panties if the wind blows through the door.」

Straf’s bored eyes stare at the maid, then drift to her skirt as he crosses his arms and comments on her attire. She makes a feeble attempt to pull the skirt down to cover herself more, but this exposure is by design and her gains of modesty are short-lived at best.

「Well, the pay isn’t bad, but…」

The maid’s character almost breaks as she is unable to maintain prolonged eye contact with Straf after his comments.

「Is this a joke? For most of the items on this list, I could have Straf instead.」

Lily throws the menu onto the table, discarding it like trash. She crosses her arms and glares up at the maid with clear disdain in her eyes.

「Hey! Don’t say it like that!」

「V- Vamp-!?」

The pseudo-maid’s and Lily’s gazes meet. She takes a step back in fear, almost bumping into another booth before freezing. Lily breaks her glare to look at Straf, who’s protesting her word selection.

「Why not? It’s the truth, Straf. I don’t have a good point of relation for the value of your money, so I view these coins in how much I can suck you for-」

Lily grins, resting her elbow on the table with her face on her hand. Straf points his finger at her with a tight-lipped grimace.

「No!- Don’t say it like that! I’m already in the dumpster reputation-wise with one faction of maids, I don’t need another one to think there’s something funny going on between us!」

Straf points his finger at the frozen maid beside them as he speaks in a raised voice, barely audible in the lively cafe. Both Straf and Lily look at the maid and raise their brows.

「Ah- Ahh… You must be the baroness?」

The maid unfreezes and hesitantly asks, her posture remaining shrunken and fearful, but her face attempts to regain some of its bravery in form of a neutral expression.

「Correct. It is surprising you don’t recognize me by my form alone yet, human.」

Lily scoffs, crossing her arms again.

「My apologies, I work long hours…」

The pseudo-maid bows in a rather servantly fashion, once again revealing her cleavage to the booth.

「Ah, if I am allowed to ask… What kind of relationship is there between you, baroness and dear master? We have a special deal on omurice for couples-」

The maid asks, lifting her head with concern on her face. Lily grins, and Straf immediately shifts towards the maid to answer.

「None! Zero! Nothing! Nil! Mu! I’m just taking care of her, that’s all!」

Straf waves his hand across the booth’s side, almost knocking off the tissues and salt and pepper shakers laid out in the middle as he vehemently denies any connection to Lily.

「You take care of quite the number of women, do you not, Straf?」

Lily asks, grinning from across the table with her arms crossed.

「What!? If you mean Lia, that’s only natural! She’s my harem member! That mages’ guild girl was a freebie! I’m not letting some diggers, or burrowers, or whatever rip her apart!」

Straf desperately defends his reputation, nervously glancing at the maid every few words.

「And what of that… Meddlesome healer?」

Lily’s grin disappears, and she questions Straf while tapping her finger on her crossed arm.

「Who!? Alicia!? She tripped! I just carried her a little!」

Straf continues explaining himself, still glancing at the maid to gauge if she’s believing his words or not. With each sentence, her face appears to be more and more in awe of Straf.

《Who is he? Some sort of super-good-guy? It sounds like he’s downplaying what he did a lot. He’s not afraid of the vampire, either… And he’s kind of cute…》

The maid blinks and tilts her head, somewhat calmed by Straf’s presence and his attitude towards Lily. Subconsciously, she assumes a pose that she hopes will render her more appealing to Straf.

「And what of me, Straf?」

Lily asks with a serious face and tone, staring directly into his eyes.

「What? What of you? You’re an honorary harem member. Do not confuse this for being an actual-」

「What I mean, and what I have to say is… Your touch back then awakened something within me, Straf…」

Straf attempts to explain Lily’s position, but she interrupts him. She speaks with a dead-serious face, her pale fingers rest on her ornate, gothic dress covering her chest.

「…Huh?」

Straf blinks at Lily in disbelief, then looks at the maid.

《Huh? But… But she looks like a child. And he touched her?》

The maid blinks at Straf, then looks at Lily in disbelief. Straf and the maid exchange confused gazes for a few seconds, unsure what to say.

《Is she doing this on purpose? Or did she pick the wrong words by accident? No wait, what is she even fucking talking about!?》

Straf glares at Lily with a tight-lipped expression. By the time his eyes return to the maid, her face is already twisting into barely-veiled disgust.

《This guy… Likes kids? Ahh… And he looked so hot, too… Why do I have to serve a scumbag like this!?》

The maid glares at Straf, while avoiding Lily with her eyes.

「N- No, wait, you don’t understand…」

Straf holds his hand out, hoping for another chance at explaining the misunderstanding.

「…In that case, could I offer you a discount for couples on our omurice-」

The service-maid glares once more at Straf with disgust on her face, before turning to Lily. Both of them do not allow her to finish her sentence, cutting in at the same time.

「Not interested.」 「We’re not a couple, what’s wrong with you!?」

Straf holds his hand out, shaking it up and down in frustrated desperation.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

「I see-」

「Just get me the owner! The owner! I need to talk with him to begin with!」

The maid nods her head at Lily, and Straf interrupts her again, waving her off while pointing at the long counter where the old man would normally be found hiding behind. The maid almost openly snarls at Straf, but bows out of the modicum of professionalism and heads towards the backroom, navigating the tightly-packed spaces with learned ease.

As soon as she disappears amidst the crowd of maids and customers, Straf turns back to Lily and sighs heavily out of his nose.

「What was that, Lily!? You’re like a magnet for bad reputation with maids of all type everywhere! What do you mean I touched you!? Is that an accusation!? A plot hook, even!?」

Straf erratically waves his hand around the table while Lily nonchalantly sits with her arms crossed again, and stares at him with a serious expression. She sighs as well as soon as he’s done quietly shouting.

「Don’t tell me you have already forgotten, Straf.」

「Forgotten what!? If I put my hands on you I wouldn’t be able to live with my head lifted straight!」

Straf denies any and all accusations, should there be any, and Lily sighs again.

「…When you put your hand on my head, Straf. Do you really not remember?」

She slowly places her clawed hand on top of her golden, twin-tailed head as if she were to pat herself.

「Then say exactly what I did! Stop leaving it vague and open to interpretation like that!」

Straf exclaims, and sinks his face into his hand.

《Ahhh, my social capital will be fucking bankrupt long before I have to worry about Lia’s country getting anywhere near bankruptcy…》

Straf despairs, and Lily tilts her head out of minor confusion at his reaction.

「It really is strange, however. When you said those things and put your hand on me-」

「I put my hand on your head! To pet you! That’s a relatively normal, socially healthy interaction!」

Straf cuts Lily off to clarify, momentarily raising his face from his hand, only to return back to it.

「Be that as it may… When you have done that, I felt… Odd. As if my heart remembered to beat, but that is not the case for almost a thousand years now… It is still now, but-」

As Lily explains what she felt in her second proper encounter with Straf, the elderly cafe owner arrives, dressed in an exquisitely fancy suit.

「Ah! Hello again! I was hoping you’d visit, but I expected to see the queen with you!」

The old man’s cool demeanor is nowhere to be found, a warm and welcoming smile instead is beaming at Straf from his face.

「I didn’t expect to visit here either, but here we are… What’s going on here, old man? Did you re-brand from a coffee shop to night services? Isn’t it a little too early to run a business like this? Or do you hang up the red lights after the third bell?」

Straf asks, looking at the maids’ short skirts.

「Pardon? We still serve coffee! I have to say, this machine… I turned a profit in no time at all!」

The old man spreads his hands with a satisfied grinning smile.

「Wait, already? Are caffeine addicts that desperate?」

「Already indeed! And once I had solid profit in hand… I was very much unsure about your suggestion regarding the maids… But I figured that you weren’t wrong at all, it’ll be right to trust you! And you can see the effects yourself!」

The old man presents the full cafe to Straf with his hand. In the background, one of the customers gets particularly touchy with one of the maids waiting for the table’s order, running his hand up her thigh and into her skirt. She meekly pushes his hand away with each attempt, but does nothing more beyond that.

「Yup. I see them alright. I hope you pay them enough for that.」

Straf says with his arms crossed, looking at the maid who is clearly hoping someone will step in and intervene to put an end to the harassment. Straf looks up at the old man with a bored expression and ignores the maid.

「Oh, of course! I believe I am the highest paying employer in all of Draconis! Only the palace guards-」

「Dracowhat?」

Straf’s head involuntarily tilts at the new name.

「Err… Draconis? The capital?-」

The old man is a little perplexed, and points down at the floor towards nothing in particular. Straf’s eyes widen as he leans back in realization.

「Waaait. So this city is called fucking Draconis? How did I miss that one!? Are all these fucking stupid tropes just blending in so much that I’m starting to miss them!? This is pretty bad…」

Straf starts to intensely rub his chin deep in thought with furrowed brows, while the old man exchanges an uneasy glance with Lily’s disdainful eyes.

「…I have heard from my worker you wanted to discuss something with me?」

The old man leans in a little and asks, Straf snaps his fingers as he snaps out of his thoughts.

「Yes. I’ve got a deal for you. It’s a deal that’s great for me, and okay for you.」

He says, pointing his finger at the suited-up fancy coffee store owner.

「And that is?」

The old man cocks his head sideways, Straf grins at him in response.

「Investment. You’re doing better than I thought. Where did you get all those slutty maid uniforms? Is that something you had stored in your basement just in case?」

Straf points his thumb over his shoulder at one of the maids being harassed, in a picture similar to the one from before. The customer at the table can’t keep his hand off her hip, and his hand constantly attempts to drift lower beneath her skirt.

「No, of course not! There is a tailor shop in Kreisfeld, they had an example maid uniform. When I told them my needs, they were very quick to make an adjusted set of them for my employees…」

The old man proudly explains, waving his hand over the maids in the cafe. Nearly all of them are being groped or otherwise experiencing an invasion of their personal space.

「Yeah, figures this kind of thing would sell… Anyway, what I’m going to tell you is a matter of national security, so I’d like you to be a little hush-hush about it, got it?」

Straf gestures for the old man to lean in. The coffee shop owner nods, and lends his ear to Straf.

「Basically, we’re kind of fucked and out of money. Can I borrow some from you, buddy? We’ll pay you back. I mean, come on, we’re a kingdom. What kind of a kingdom wouldn’t repay their debts, right?」

Straf winks at the man with a smirk, wrapping his arm around his neck as if he was an old friend of his. The old man pauses, thinks for a moment, then pulls Straf’s arm off of himself and straightens up.

「I see… I wish I could help, but as it stands, I don’t think I have enough gold for it to matter on a scale as great as that.」

The old man apologetically explains. Some of his previous cool and calm demeanor makes an abrupt return.

「Well, uh… I’m sure we’ll manage. How much do you have?」

Straf asks, throwing his hand up in mild-frustration and lightly shakes his head. Regardless, the intent to gain more money remains fierce.

「Thirty-six gold coins-」

「Great, we’ll take all of them-」

「…But I will need roughly twelve to cover all expenses for the month. Is that enough to help the kingdom?」

The old man asks in a hushed tone, and Straf rubs his face with his palm in exasperation.

「No it’s fuckin’ not… Not anywhere close… How about this… How much do you need to open up another coffee shop like this, elsewhere?」

Straf pulls his hand away from his face, asking with a frustrated and tired grimace.

「Another shop?… If I had another machine, 60 to 120 gold, give or take? It really depends on property prices and such…」

The old man looks aside as he thinks. The moment he gives Straf a concrete estimate to work with, his face sinks into his hand again.

「Fucking shit, that’s so much money and so much risk… When would you start turning profit, assuming that I hand you everything on a silver platter to begin with?」

Straf grumbles into his hand, and lifts his face again to ask.

「Everything? With funds and all?… A few days, at most, really.」

The old man tilts his head with surprise on his face. Straf snaps his fingers and points his hand at the man’s face.

「You better be right. You want everyone to appreciate a good coffee, right?」

Straf grins, rubbing his chin with a devilish smirk on his face.

「That is correct. All this money, in the end, is just means to make more people appreciate the craft.」

The old man nods with a dead-serious expression. His cool demeanor from remains on his face as he looks at Straf with determined eyes.

「Buddy, I’ve got the perfect thing for you. You’ll expand your business, and we’ll use other people’s money to do it.」

Straf points his finger up at the man’s face, even Lily looks on silently with inquisitively raised brows.

「Other people’s money? If it involves theft then I don’t want-」

The old man’s brows rise in surprise, he is a little taken aback by the novel idea, but Straf cuts him off the moment he utters out the word theft.

「Theft? Ha. No. Investment. I’ll be taking your coffee shop public. We’ll do a huge IPO right here in the capital, and that should give you enough gold to open multiple shops up.」

「IPO? Public?」

With a tilted head, the old man repeats the confusing words Straf said, but he only shakes his head in response.

「Relax. You don’t need to understand anything about this, all you have to understand is coffee and running the business. Are you able to run the other stores the same as you run this one?」

Straf almost lays down in the booth, propping up his casted arm on the table and his other arm on the backrest. One of his boots ends up on the booth’s seat, visibly frustrating the owner, but not enough to comment on it. Straf looks up at the owner with a smug grin, awaiting his response.

「…I believe so, if I find good workers. The work here is not complicated at all, and most of the girls could handle it alone.」

The old man replies after a moment of thought, nodding his head.

「Nice. Get ready, old man, we’re going to franchise the maid groping.」

Straf snaps his fingers again, grinning ear to ear.

「The what?」

The old coffee shop owner’s head recoils back, and his steel-blue eyes blink in surprise…