「What!? What do you mean late!?」
Greaves shouts at Straf, who keeps chuckling and grinning at the orange-haired teenager as his hair jiggles around.
「I mean it's already in thin slices. I mean it's hiss-tory. I mean that you can go tell Lia how awesome you were, and get paid for doing nothing.」
Straf shrugs, and glances at his party with a grin.
「W- We can't do that, that'd be lying…」
Alicia meekly protests Straf's suggestion.
「Welcome to the modern work experience. Aren't two spearwomen a little too much? Why not a big guy that punches stuff? See you around, Carrothead.」
Straf says, walking past Greaves while looking at Vitsa.
「That's what I said- Hey! I'm not done talking to you!」
Greaves nods, almost agreeing with Straf, before calling out to him with a clenched fist.
「Get with the times, kid. The main character gets to choose when he wants to walk away from the dialogue.」
Straf scoffs, peeking over his shoulder.
「…Are you friends, or something?」
Vitsa asks with curiosity, looking at her companions, then glancing at Straf.
「No!」 「No.」 「No.」 「I guess…」
At the same time, Greaves shouts, Will and Lian deny with varying intensity, and Alicia timidly nods her head as she quietly replies. Her entire party stares at the sole dissident, causing her to grow smaller from peer pressure
「…I guess we don't know each other that well…」
Alicia corrects herself to save her face with grace, and deflects the attention back to Straf.
「Why are you here, anyway!?」
Greaves shouts a question, staring with suspicion at Straf.
「What, I'm not allowed to grind? I'm supposed to just sit with a thumb up my ass for two weeks?」
「Grind? Grind what?」
Greaves tilts his orange mass of spiky hair. It rustles like porcupine quills.
「Grind. Like meat, for a sausage. Meaning kill stuff until I feel satisfied. How low is your intelligence?」
Straf asks, and focuses his eyes on Greaves.
Greaves Eichenseele
[|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||] Lv. 20
Strength: 16 Perception: 10
Agility: 12 Endurance: 12
Dexterity: 11 Willpower: 20
Luck: 11 Intelligence: 4
Charisma: 9 Wisdom: 12
「Woah… Dude, you have 4 intelligence?」
Straf winces as he asks.
「What?」
Confused, Greaves crosses his arms in response. Straf glances at Will, who adjusts his glasses.
Will Steele
[|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||] Lv. 19
Strength: 5 Perception: 7
Agility: 9 Endurance: 3
Dexterity: 11 Willpower: 10
Luck: 12 Intelligence: 14
Charisma: 9 Wisdom: 9
Straf cringes when he reads Will's endurance and strength attributes, then his eyes focus on the sheepish Alicia standing in the rear. She breaks eye contact.
Alicia Birdsong
[|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||] Lv. 12
Strength: 6 Perception: 11
Agility: 10 Endurance: 3
Dexterity: 10 Willpower: 5
Luck: 8 Intelligence: 14
Charisma: 8 Wisdom: 14
「Alicia… And you put up with Carrothead's shit for how long?…」
Straf asks while he looks with eyes full of understanding pity at Alicia, he then glances at Greaves.
「Huh? Um… I've known Greaves for… Give or take 13 or 14 years…」
She looks at Greaves as well, before looking down at the ground and nervously scratching her cheek with her pale finger.
「Hey! For the last time! I'm not Carrothead!」
Greaves protests, scowling at Straf.
「Say that again when your intelligence level is higher than that of a dog. Lily, where to next?」
Straf scoffs at Greaves, pulling the bestiary out of his [Portable Storage], and hands it to Lily.
「Heh. Know your place.」
Lily says, grinning with a smug face at Greaves. She opens the book, and flips through the pages.
「Let's see… Ah, grove whisperers. This one is sapient, isn't that interesting, Straf?」
Lily's amused face twists into a malevolent smile as she closes the book and hands it back to Straf.
「You mean they'll be begging for their life? That's kind of fucked up. Where do we go?」
Straf chuckles, then asks. Greaves's party look at each other, not knowing what to say.
「Down this road. There should be a deep forest past the village if we follow the road for a while… But we won't make it there before the dark. We'll have to find somewhere to rest.」
Lily walks closer to the highway off to the side, and looks at Straf over her shoulder.
「Nah, I'll just carry you if you feel sleepy. We need the pacing to stay snappy, Lily.」
Straf walks up to Lily, and continues towards the road. Greaves's party is left speechless.
「C- Carry me?」
Lily's vertically-slit eyes widen, and she grins, looking away from Straf as they leave the party behind.
「…Is this guy actually evil?」
Greaves points at Straf, and looks at his party members with furrowed brows.
「I was about to ask that. Why does he have a vampire with him?」
Vitsa adds, and looks confused while the distance between them and Straf grows…
…
「Straf, I'm sleepy.」
Lily proudly announces, not even 15 minutes of walking later.
「Already? Fine…」
Straf furrows his brows in disbelief, then shrugs.
「Craft… Box…」
Straf utters out, staring into the distance.
「Straf…」
「What?」
He turns his head around, only to see Lily looking at him with her arms extended towards him and up at his neck.
「…Carry me.」
She says with scarlet puppy eyes, a small pout, and a lightly tilted head.
「Yeah, I will. Give me a moment.」
《Can't wait for 5 seconds? What a brat, good grief…》
Straf nods, mildly annoyed by Lily's impatience. Straf taps his finger on the thin air, and a large box of light appears. A second later, the glow subsides and reveals a wooden box, which drops into Straf's waiting hands.
「Okay, let me just adjust this real quick… Awl…」
Straf repeats the crafting process, with Lily still waiting with her arms raised, curiously watching Straf make his tools. He punches a hole through the wood.
「Strap. Ahhh, shit… Tsk.」
Straf clicks his tongue and straightens out, looking at the box on the floor with his fists on his hips. He sighs in frustration.
「What is it, Straf?」
「I forgot something important for this… Lily, can you kill something and bring its skin real quick?」
Straf turns his head to Lily, then looks back at the box, tapping his foot.
「Of course, with pleasure!-」
Lily clasps her hands in joy with a large smile on her face.
「Just not a human or their pets, alright?」
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Straf interrupts her however, quickly glancing at her before she departs.
「Tsk… Fine.」
Lily rolls her eyes, and disappears into a black blur somewhere off the road. Less than 5 minutes later, she brings a mangled, bloodied skin of some four-legged animal, resembling neither a dog, nor a wolf, nor anything else known to Straf.
「Is this good enough?」
She asks, and hands Straf the skin with her blood-coated hands.
「Let's see… Yup. Good enough.」
Straf nods, and taps his finger on the thin air again. Two long and narrow leather straps appear out of thin air in a glow of light, and drop into his hand. He runs the straps through the punched holes, secures them on the inside of the box, and dusts his clean hands off, slapping them together.
「There. Done!」
Straf happily announces, looking at the crafted box with satisfaction with his fists on his hips.
「Can you now carry me?」
Lily asks, and lifts her arms at Straf again.
「Yup, get in.」
Straf looks at Lily, and nods.
「…Get in what?」
Lily lightly shakes her head in confusion, and slowly lowers her arms, furrowing her brows.
「The box, what else?」
Straf says, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, shrugging and tilting his head lightly. Lily looks at the box with a troubled and disappointed expression, then back at Straf. She points at the box, looking at Straf, and he nods his head encouragingly.
「This box?」
She asks for clarification.
「Uh-huh, what's the problem? I don't need to sleep, you're pretty small, and this is method is tried and tested. Hop in. Quick, before you summon a lawyer. This is really toeing the line.」
Straf squats down, pats the box, and gives Lily an encouraging nod with his head. He sticks his hand out to take Lily's parasol. She folds it, and places it in Straf's hand.
「Ugh…」
Lily steps in, sighing in disappointment as she curls up into a ball within the box. Straf puts the lid back on, and straps the box onto his back.
「Heave ho! There! How is it, Lily!?」
Straf spreads his arms, rotating around a little to check how burdened he is by the box. It does not sway him, or affect his balance whatsoever.
「…Cramped.」
Lily's muffled voice complains from the box.
「Well, try to sleep it off. If any lawyer jumps us, I'll pull the ol' ideas can't be copyrighted trick. That'll keep them off our backs for a while!」
Straf says as he resumes walking down the road with Lily on his back.
「Are you sure I can sleep like this, Straf? What if a lawyer comes?」
Lily asks with minor concern in her voice.
「I don't know, can you? If one does show up, I'll quickly remind them that you're a vampire, not a demon.」
Straf says with a grin, taking wide and confident steps.
「Very well… Goodnight, Straf.」
「Yeah, sleep tight.」
Straf glances at the box over his shoulder, and continues onward…
…
A few hours later, in the capital's palace, in Queen Cycelia's room…
「…Aaand done. At least this part… Hnghh…」
Sitting in front of her desk with a long and wide parchment, she finishes writing a sentence, and dips her quill back in the inkwell. She straightens out, and noisily stretches with a content, yet somewhat fatigued moan. Cycelia looks at the dark half-circles under her eyes in the mirror on her desk.
Knock knock.
「Queen Cycelia?」
The muffled voice of the captain of the guard comes through the door.
「Enter!」
Cycelia looks over her shoulder, and speaks at the door with a raised voice. The captain of the guard peeks his young face in.
「Queen Cycelia, pardon my interruption… A letter came… By a magic… Thing.」
The captain says, slowly and anxiously nudging more of his body inside the room.
「What letter? What thing?」
Cycelia asks with furrowed brows and a confused expression.
「I… I don't know. It was almost like a messenger pigeon, but magical. I don't know how to explain it.」
He shrugs his hands, at a loss of words with a troubled face, holding a white envelope sealed with deep blue wax.
「Well, no matter. Hand me that thing. Did you read it?」
Cycelia shrugs, and extends her hand. The captain gives her the letter with a polite nod of his head.
「No, your highness. It's sealed, and… I can't read.」
He shakes his head, then spreads his hands again in embarrassment with a sigh.
「You can't? Oh dear… I'll have to arrange literacy education for you later, then… Thank you, you're free to leave.」
Cycelia blinks, and the captain infects her with his troubled expression. She sighs and shrugs, then nods before turning back to her desk.
「Your highness.」
The young man bows and places his hand on his opposite shoulder, then quickly leaves the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. Cycelia cracks the blue seal, and pulls a folded paper out.
「To Her Majesty Queen Cycelia Redwing… Blah blah blah… We, the Mage Federation have learned… Known as Tolwick?」
Cycelia reads through the letter, and a familiar name crops up. The name of her mercenary-cum-court mage. She furrows her brows as she reads further.
「His unacceptable behavior lead to expulsion and entry in the guild's black book, a measure we have taken only a handful of times in the entire existence… Illegal Necromancy!?」
Cycelia continues mumbling under her breath as her green eyes scan the paper. She shouts in shock when she reads her mercenary's charges, she cringes and lets out a large, pained sigh.
「Aaaahhhhhhhh… And after I went out on a limb for him, stomped my foot to get him restored in the capital's guild… It's like Bea- Lukhyur and Niklaus are the only ones that don't come with long strings attached…」
Cycelia complains to herself, slouched in her chair with her elbow on her armrest, and her hand on her face.
「…I can't just back out and un-restore him. What would my word be good for, then? What's the worst thing some loose gathering of mages can do anyway?… Ahh… It still doesn't feel good… And they run the Academy of Magic… How will I show myself there now?」
Cycelia sighs, looking at the letter and the long parchment on the desk with a gloomy face. She throws the letter onto the desk, and stands up. She walks a short distance, and jumps onto her bed face-down, arms spread.
「Aaaahhhhhh… Why can't Straf come and fix this?-」
She sighs again and groans into her bed, before going silent.
《…That's right. Because I told him to leave. How can I call myself a ruler if I rely on Straf to do everything? Is Straf running the kingdom, or me?》
She turns on her side, and looks at the parchment again with tired eyes.
「Sure would be nice if I had him here with me right now, though…」
Cycelia mumbles to herself, looking at the empty side of her bed, and then at Straf's sewed and folded shirt on a chest of drawers.
「Ahhh! What am I thinking!?」
Cycelia covers her reddening face with her hands, and rolls around on her bed aimlessly…
…
The next morning, after following Lily's direction, Straf enters a dark forest and heads inward amidst the trees.
「Hey, Lily, are you still asleep?」
Straf asks peeking over his shoulder at the box.
「Hey! Lily! Wake up! Unless you want to miss me killing shit!」
Straf raises his voice, and the contents of the box move a little.
「Hmmfpf… Straf?… Are we there yet?」
Lily groans and moans from within the box, and yawns as soon as she asks.
「…And then she tells me she's not 12… Yes, Lily, we are here.」
Straf shakes his head, then peeks at the box to answer her.
《…Go back…》
An unknown male voice speaks in Straf's head.
《…You do not belong…》
「Lily, am I getting a fit of schizophrenia, or do grove whisperers, well, whisper?」
Straf stops, looking around the forest for the source of the voice.
《…Go back, or you will join with us…》
Clack!
「…Ahhhh. Indeed they do, Straf. Are you hearing voices?.」
Lily asks as she unceremoniously pops out of the box.
「Even if I hypothetically did, I am not going to answer that question, Lily. It's just not something you do.」
Straf says, handing the little vampire her folded parasol back. She jumps out of the box onto the branch-littered, lichen-covered forest floor.
「Okay, how do they look, again?」
Twoompf.
Straf asks, as Lily unfolds her parasol.
「They are very, very tall, and are almost indistinguishable from trees.」
Lily looks up at Straf with still drowsy eyes.
「Ah. So we're ripping that off now, huh? You mean like this one?」
Straf points at a tree. Specifically, he points at a moving tree behind Lily, just a few steps away.
「Where?- What!?」
Thud! Crackle!
Lily jumps out of the way of a large branch slamming into the ground. The leaves rustle loudly, and the branch pulls up and away.
「You mean you didn't see this thing? I thought it wasn't it, so I ignored it.」
《…Interloper… You bring foulness to our land…》
The voice in Straf's mind remains calm, but also urgent and insistent.
「She's not foul. You take baths, right, Lily?」
Straf grimaces angrily at the moving tree, and peeks over his shoulder at Lily.
「W- What? Where did that come from!? Of course I do!」
Lily pouts, taken aback by Straf's inappropriate and out of place question. She looks aside as she answers.
「See? And I didn't see no borders around here, twig. Serves you right for cheaping out on border patrols.」
Straf grins at the grove whisperer towering above him, with his hands casually in his pockets. More trees approach, and surround Lily and Straf, creating an impromptu clearing.
「Straf, do you want me to handle them?」
「Nah, just sit back and relax. I'd tell you to get a coffee, but I guess I'll have to get around inventing it first. Good thing I don't need to craft the universe first.」
Straf glances over his shoulder, grinning heavily. He pays more attention to Lily than the tree-creature in front of him. It raises its thick, branchy arm over his head.
「Thanks for that, bimbo bitch!」
Straf grins at the tree canopies, chuckling loudly as the branch descends upon him…