「…I'm just saying, but wouldn't it be a good idea to run from this thing?」

Straf asks as he points his thumb at the corpse of the giant beast. Covered in blue blood and surrounded by shattered trees, it lies in a deep impact crater.

「Tsk… We couldn't!… For many reasons!」

Greaves replies as he walks down to the thinner part of the beast's severed leg and slides down to meet the two.

「Yeah… There was nothing I'd like more than to run, but we just couldn't.」

Will nods, adjusting his glasses while Greaves joins him and Straf.

Clank.

「Huh? Why not, mongrels? You need a rare drop from this thing and it's worth risking your life over, mongrels?…」

Straf furrows his brows as his armored fists clatter on his golden hips. His golden plate armor glitters, reflecting the sparse light flowing through the canopies above.

「…That being said, where's the other two? Don't tell me it ate them, and that's why you're suicidally stupid-」

He asks while looking around the forest, but then bites his tongue when he sees Lian run from the trees into his view with Alicia slung over her shoulder.

「Ah. So it's like that, huh?…」

Clakk…

Straf comments with a tight-lipped grimace, shrugging his golden shoulders.

「…Tsk. As much as I hate to say it… We owe you for saving our ass.」

As he crosses his arms, Greaves begrudgingly admits with his eyes turned aside.

「Yeah…」

Will simply nods along with a bitter expression on his face. Lian lets Alicia down to her feet and approaches the group.

「…Straf? What are you doing here?」

Clutching onto her wand, Alicia asks with her head tilted. She exchanges a mildly confused glance with Lian, before both turn their eyes back to him.

「I could ask you mongrels the same thing. Is the economic situation in the capital so bad that you thought fighting this thing was a good idea?」

Straf nods his head at the bloodied beast behind him.

「Mongrels?…」

Alicia furrows her brows in light confusion.

「We had a goblin hunt task. We were supposed to check if there were goblins in this forest and wipe them out, but I suppose now it makes sense why we never found any.」

Will calmly explains and adjusts his glasses.

「What is this thing, anyway?… Stats…」

Straf glances over his shoulder at the giant monster, then begins staring pensively at something in front of Greaves and Will, rather than at the two.

「Stats?…」

Alicia tilts her head the other way, then looks at equally confused Lian by her side while Straf flicks his hand through the thin air in front of himself.

「That's was a living mountain. They burrow and squeeze through underground caverns, dig through the ground at a sluggish pace, then eventually emerge hundreds of years later.」

Will replies while looking at one of the swords embedded in the living mountain's rock-hard shell.

「…It didn't quite level me, but it was worth a lot of XP… I should probably get some new abilities soon…」

Straf mumbles to himself while rubbing his chin with his armored hand. His eyes refocus on Will and his party, then he dismissively flicks his hand aside.

「…So it's like a fucked up bear in a weird crab form?」

Taking a few steps aside, Straf asks while he looks all over the ground in search of something.

「…It hibernates, if that's what you're asking. It's one of the few beasts that the guild actually considers a catastrophe-level.」

Adjusting his glasses, Will reluctantly follows after Straf, albeit with a particularly sour, displeased look on his face.

「Huh? The fuck is catastrophe-level, mongrel? Sounds ominous…」

Straf asks as he peeks over his shoulder at Will, before nonchalantly returning to his search for something elusive.

「There's four danger levels the guild had set… Well, technically five. First is your run of the mill tasks, those are your low-risk tasks that most everyone should be capable of doing…」

Will replies, following Straf and looking around the ground with him.

「…Second are the tasks that might need a group. This is still well within the capacity of a normal adventurer to do alone if he's experienced and cautious about it, like a goblin hunt…」

He continues, furrowing his brows while Straf seems to only partially listen with his mouth aslant and eyes focused somewhere else. Greaves, Lian, and Alicia slowly trail behind them.

「…Third are the tasks that will definitely need a group, and usually a large one. This is usually tasks like getting rid of a troll, clearing out a beast nest, so on…」

Will walks beside Straf while he casually lifts the living mountain's severed leg and peeks beneath it, dropping it when he fails to find what he is searching for.

「…Finally, fourth level are tasks that might need the most renowned adventurers, or multiple groups of seasoned ones. Shien could probably handle these alone, but…」

Adjusting his glasses, Will shrugs as he and Straf reach the edge of the crater caused by the felled beast. The earth is soaked with its blood, and the golden leaves are stained darkening blue.

「So this thing is danger level four?」

Straf asks with his fists on his golden armor's hips while looking up at the beast's dirt-coated, mountain-like shell on its back.

「No…」

Will shakes his lowered head in reply, then adjusts his glasses again.

「…Remember how I said technically five? Tasks that fall out of scope of the four levels are labeled as such. This can include something really benign, like requiring specialized adventurers…」

He raises his gaze up to Straf's bored face, then nods towards Alicia as he explains. She tilts her head and quizzically points at herself, blinking in confusion.

「…Or, in some cases, the danger is simply too great to leave just in the adventurers' guild hands. Things like that usually require intervention from the kingdom, like a military response…」

Will continues, and adjusts his glasses as he turns his bespectacled eyes to the felled living mountain.

「…Sightings of catastrophe-level beasts is one. Like I said, the guild considers a living mountain to be catastrophe-level, along with a kraken, a pseudohydra, a dragon, and a few others.」

He concludes with a resigned shrug of his shoulders, and adjusts his glasses once more.

「Cool piece of world building that doesn't apply to me… Say, did you see a thing lying around here?…」

Straf nonchalantly shrugs Will's explanation off and continues looking around.

「What thing?」

「What are you searching for, exactly?」

Greaves and Will both ask.

「I don't fucking know, mongrels. If I knew, I'd tell you… All I can tell you is that it'll look out of place… And knowing luck, it'll be in a place that's hard to fucking access. Tsk…」

Claclack…

With a faint clatter of his golden armor, Straf throws arms up only to place his fists back on his hips. His head swivels, and his mouth scrunches heavily to the side in frustration.

「…By the way have you seen an entrance to a mine, a tunnel, a crypt, or something like that around here? A little dumb bimbo bird told me there might be one around here.」

「That's awfully specific.」

Greaves chimes in with his arms crossed and mouth likewise scrunched.

「Yeah, 'cause I'm looking for something awfully specific, mongrel.」

Straf scoffs, briefly glancing back at him before shaking his head.

「Mongrel mongrel mongrel!… What is with you!? Just because you saved our asses doesn't mean you get to now call us mongrels! Stop saying that! Learn a new word!」

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Angrily shaking his fist, Greaves shouts at Straf.

「You're one to talk, Greaves…」

Will sighs out, side-glancing at him with a fatigued, tight-lipped grimace on his face.

「And you shut up too, Will! I told you to not get distracted, dumbass!」

Greaves barks back at Will, gritting his teeth in frustration.

「You're right, mongrel, saving you doesn't give me the right to say that…」

Straf says as he turns back to Greaves and Will.

「…That's weirdly agreeable of you, but why did you-?」

「…It's my inalienable and inborn right, mongrel.」

He adds with a snide grin on his face and his fists on his armored hips, cutting Greaves off.

「Tsk… You're just as bad as this dumbass who can't follow a simple instruction!」

Crossing his arms, Greaves looks aside with his mouth aslant.

「Just because you could get over your childhood friend dying in an instant doesn't mean everyone else can, dumbass!」

Will snaps, shouting at Greaves while he's turned away. Alicia's shoulders slump as she lets out a fatigued sigh. There is a faint smile on her fatigued face as the two argue again.

「…Want to have a go at it then, wimp, huh!?…」

「…Careful, Greaves!… I'm feeling pretty confident about my chances!…」

「Oh!」

Greaves and Will shout at each other, going as far as grabbing each other's clothes, only for Straf to suddenly break up the argument with a sudden surprised utterance.

「What?」「What?」

The two nonchalantly ask, still clutching onto each other as they look sideways at Straf. Alicia sighs in relief, sparing her the necessity of acting as a referee.

Without replying, Straf slides down the crater's slope, disappearing in the deep hole.

「…What is he doing?」

Greaves asks, letting go of Will. He reciprocates, picks his staff back off the forest floor, and adjusts his glasses.

Straf reaches the bottom of the deep, dark hole. An orb of light appears and begins orbiting around him as he slides on top of a damaged, partially collapsed stone tunnel.

「…Two for one, huh?」

He remarks as he reaches down and picks up a curving dagger lying right on top of the tunnel's roof.

「Hold up! What are you doing!?…」

Greaves shouts towards him as he slides down the steep dirt slope towards Straf as well. A few moments later, Will joins them, followed by Alicia, and Lian helping her maintain balance.

「I found the things I was looking for! Lucky!」

Straf replies with a smug grin, and throws the dagger into his [Portable Storage]. Walking just beneath the living mountain's crab-like bottom, he peeks into the rubble-filled tunnel.

「…This ought to be here, huh? Looks like this thing either ate, or crushed most of the dungeon.」

He remarks as he climbs down into the dark tunnel. Will and Greaves glance at each other, before they both shrug and follow him in.

「What is this place?…」

Greaves asks, his and his party's footsteps echoing through the mossy cobblestone corridor.

「A dungeon, mongrel. Use your eyes.」

Straf casually replies as they arrive at a crossing. His head swivels left and right as he considers his options.

「…I hope it didn't eat the cursed armor bit. I don't want to dig around in a crab's guts.」

Claclack…

He adds, shrugging his armored shoulder with a clatter as he simply continues onward.

「What cursed armor? Why are you looking for a cursed armor? Can't you afford an un-cursed one?」

Will asks, adjusting his glasses while trying to stay as close to the light. His head nervously swivels back and forth, making sure neither Lian nor Alicia get out of sight.

「Because…」

Straf replies without as much as glancing back at them, but his voice trails off as his head tilts a little in deep thought.

「…Because none of your fucking business, mongrel. Mind your own business.」

He looks at Will over his shoulder with an annoyed grimace on his face and his mouth heavily aslant. His gaze returns forward, shaking his head while marching down the dark corridor. After a moment, the party reassumes their usual cautious exploration formation with Lian and Greaves at the front, and Alicia and Will behind them, with Alicia just ever so slightly trailing behind Will. Though there are wrought iron torch sconces on the walls, they're empty, and the smell of stale and musty air fills the ominous dark halls. Every now and then, Will nervously glances over his back when their footsteps seem to echo wrong.

Despite the ominous atmosphere, Straf continues onward as if he was taking a leisurely stroll through the palace garden. About fifteen minutes later, they reach a large and open room. Moldy bookshelves with quaint mushrooms growing out of them tower over Straf and the adventurer party as they walk amidst them. Will quickly takes interest in the bookshelves' decayed contents. He tries to scoop one tome out, but it disintegrates in his hands into a soft mush as soon as he takes a good grasp of it. Mildly disappointed but not discouraged, he grabs another with significantly more care.

「This is…」

His brows furrow as he opens the tome, skimming through the contents while doing his best to keep up with the party.

「What?」

Greave asks, Lian and Alicia look at Will with curious eyes.

「…This is dwarven! I'm sure of it! I have no idea what it's about, but the tomes here ought to be at least half a millennium old, if not older!」

Will's head perks up from the weathered tome that can barely keep its shape together. As they pass by it, he gently sets the tome aside on a round table surrounded by chairs lying in pieces.

「Straf! We've unearthed a historical goldmine! Dwarves weren't thought to have ever settled in Redwing Kingdom's lands!…」

He exclaims with an excited grin on his face.

「Uh-huh. Cool.」

Straf simply nods while they continue towards the doorway on the other end of the room.

「…This is a huge discovery! If even a portion of these tomes are in a readable state, we could learn so much about so many things! This is what being an adventurer is about, Alicia!」

「…I see.」

Will turns his eyes to Alicia, who nods her head with a light, polite smile.

「I don't get it. It's just old books…」

Greaves scoffs, shaking his head.

「It's not just old books, Greaves! Magic, history, dwarven culture, even mundane things like dwarves' perception of humans! There could be anything in those tomes!…」

Indignant, Will adjusts his glasses while speaking in a raised voice full of excitement.

「…We need to report this to the guild!… Well, this and the living mountain! This is big! Huge!」

「Can you nerd-out a little quieter, mongrel? If something jumps out of the wall and eats you without me hearing it, it'll be your own fault.」

Straf lets out a fatigued sigh and looks over his shoulder at Will with his mouth heavily scrunched.

「Right… Right, sorry…」

Will nods and adjusts his glasses, quieting down.

Roughly another fifteen minutes later of blind wandering, Straf's party reaches stairs splitting downwards. The split is merely aesthetic, and both ways lead towards the same hallway. The party cautiously descends, entering a corridor with many empty pedestals and a lot of free space on the walls between them.

「…What do you think this place here was? Some sort of a treasure exhibition room? An art gallery?」

Will asks, noting the pedestals, and more than sufficient space to hang up large paintings on the walls.

「Beats me, I don't really care… Ah!」

Straf nonchalantly replies until notices something in the distance. His head perks up, and he jogs up to it.

「What?… Hey, wait!…」

Will rushes after him in an attempt to stay in the radius of Straf's magic light. Greaves and the rest of his party likewise hurry to follow after them.

「It's the cursed armor piece!…」

Straf declares with a grin on his face as he runs up to one of the distant pedestals, of which only one has an item placed upon it.

「…Aaaaaaaaand I have been lied to! It is a piece of BDSM gear! Fuck!」

Cla-clack!

He angrily throws his armored arms up with a clatter of his golden armor. He lets out a frustrated sigh as his fists return to his hips.

「What?…」

Will runs up to his side and takes a look at the item. He adjusts his glasses, furrowing his brows.

A spiked leather collar lies upon the pedestal, undamaged and apparently ignorant of the harsh conditions of the moldy, musty dungeon. Its spikes are meant to be decorative, rather than menacing, glittering and shining in the light of Straf's orb. Greaves, Will, Lian, and Alicia all look at each other, all seemingly with the same question in their mind.

「…Why does it look like a dog collar?」

Greaves points at the cursed armor piece, turning his confused eyes up towards Straf's frustrated grimace.

「That is my fucking question!」

Straf shouts, pointing his golden gauntlet at the spiked dog collar…