A young man wearing a red lamellar cuirass enters the private audience booth, and shuts the door behind him.
「I'm back. Who do you figure will win this one, old timer?」
He asks the robed, elderly man sitting in the center of the booth, looking down at Straf as he waits for his opponent in the arena. The robed old man strokes the narrow, pointy beard on his chin. The young man walks up behind his chair, and the old-timer lifts his gaze up at him.
「…Can you not stand behind me, like I'm about to cut my belly open? Have a seat.」
He gestures to the seat beside him. The young man chuckles and moves his long, curving sword out of the way so he can sit down comfortably.
「So? That Straf fellow, or the knight?」
The younger man asks with his arms crossed, and his ankle on his knee.
「It will be Straf.」
The older man returns to rubbing his chin as he watches Baldrick the Hedge Knight walk awkwardly into the arena. He arrives to quarter of the way in to the center, and keeps walking towards the center.
「What makes you say that, gramps? The knight has a bigger sword, and he's actually armored.」
He points his palm at Baldrick as he zig-zags towards Straf. A few steps later, Baldrick stops and lifts his finger up momentarily at nobody in particular. He turns around and walks back to where he is meant to stand. Once there, he turns towards Straf and digs his two-handed sword into the dirt with its tip. He menacingly poses with both of his hands on the pommel, slightly wobbling.
「I just have a feeling he will.」
「Heh. Maybe you should start betting on your good feeling. You know, make some money on the side…」
「Pah! Money on the side… Falcon, we are not here to entertain ourselves.」
The old man scoffs at the suggestion, and grumbles an echo.
「…I'm just saying since we're here, we might as well do our duty for the Vicar, and get some extra money.」
「Falcon! Take this task seriously! Or do you want to bring the Divine Embodiment's wrath on yourself!?」
He reprimands the young man, and slams the end of his staff on the ground with a loud clack. His tired, old eyes glare at Falcon from beneath his bushy white brows.
「Tsk. I am taking this seriously. It's just you need to loosen up, Willow.」
「Fight!」
Gonnnnnnggggggggggggg…
Due to their argument, the fail to realize the battle is about to begin. The announcer's shout re-focuses their attention on the arena. The Hedge Knight pulls his large sword out of the dirt, and runs at Straf with a battle cry, while holding it over his head.
Straf pulls his hand out of his pocket only to shrug in indignation at the announcer. He shares some of the shrug with the audience, pointing his palm at the charging knight. Baldrick charges in, and swings the sword wildly at Straf. He steps out of the way, and the knight stumbles drunkenly past him. Baldrick slashes at Straf's neck, in a surprisingly deft recovery after his missed attack.
Straf dodges the blade coming for his throat easily by leaning back and backpedaling a little. Straf repeats the same move as the knight keeps swinging without any rhythm or rhyme, but his slashes are distinctly practiced and neat, despite everything.
「Hey! Is this even allowed!? Isn't this doping!?」
「Aaaargh! Stand'n! Fite! Like a man!」
Straf points his palm to his opponent and shouts at the announcer, while dodging his enemy's vicious blows with ease. Baldrick shouts as well, but his slurring voice and his full helmet makes him barely audible through the cheering audience.
「Ladies and gentlemen, it seems contestant Straf has issues regarding the… Wobbly state of his opponent! Let me remind you ladies and gentlemen, that all is allowed, as long as it is applied outside of the arena!」
Straf throws his arms up, then shrugs with a dissatisfied face, while dodging slashes aimed at his vitals. He jumps back a considerable distance, then returns his free hand to his pocket. The knight closes the gap, pulling his sword behind himself while shouting into his helmet.
「Then ye'll not staaaaand!」
Baldrick shouts and takes a low swing. The two-handed sword cleaves through air with a swish. Just before the blade connects, Straf's leg turns into a blur, and the Hedge Knight's weapon snaps in half. The sound echoes across the arena. The remaining half of his sword is on the ground, beneath Straf's boot.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
「Oh! That was cool! Did you see that, gramps!? I want to fight him now!」
Falcon stands up from his chair, pointing at Straf.
「Calm yourself. We're not supposed to meddle in this kingdom more than we have to…」
「Tsk. No fun.」
Falcon sits back down and crosses his arms. Baldrick the Hedge Knight looks up and down along his broken sword, trying to make sense of it. He looks away from his sword at Straf, only to catch Straf's crossguard speeding for the side of his armored head.
His thumb and index finger grips the tip, and his other hand leads the sword towards Baldrick as Straf swivels around on his heel. Straf bonks Baldrick's helmet with the sword's crossguard, holding it very gently by the blade. Baldrick drops his stump of a weapon, and curls up on the ground, clutching at his ringing helmet.
Straf steps on Baldrick's breastplate as he's rolling around on the ground in pain, pinning him to the ground. Straf stands over him triumphantly, and he looks up at the announcer. The announcer gives him no reaction, and the gong still hasn't been struck. Straf looks up at the sky and sighs.
Then, Baldrick grabs onto Straf's leg and starts ramming his armored face into his ankle.
「What the fuck!? What are you, a chihuahua!? A zombie!?」
「My goooold!」
Both Straf and the errant knight shout at each other, as Straf futilely tries to shake him off his leg. Baldrick keeps trying to bite Straf, but fails every attempt as his helmet gets in the way. Finally, Straf stomps on his head with his other foot, leaving a large dent in his helmet. The Hedge Knight drops limp.
「…And there it is.」
Willow says quietly, nodding.
「Ladies and gentlemen, do we have our second fatality!?」
The announcer shouts, pointing at the knight on the floor. Straf looks at him intently as he lays there on the ground, limp. He sneers as he lifts his head.
Gonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng…
The gong resounds in the arena. Straf puts with his hands in his pockets, having had sheathed his sword. A healer runs up to Baldrick on the ground and starts healing him. The audience cheers as Straf walks away.
「Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Contestant Straf Katastrof Vindict wins, once again utterly dominating his enemy! Looks like he has quite the gentle touch for his opponents! A stark opposite of Klaw the Head-taker!」
The announcer keeps talking as a team of healer carries the beaten alcoholic out of the arena on a stretcher. Falcon looks at Willow.
「So, got any favorites yet? Anyone who's likely to be a problem? The one to deal with?」
The young man with crossed arms asks the old man rubbing his small beard beside him.
「…It's far too early to tell.」
「Okay. How about a shortlist?」
Falcon asks, and the old man looks down at his feet as he thinks.
「The Head-taker, that assassin…」
「What about Straf?」
「Straf, too.」
Willow very slowly nods as he keeps stroking his beard.
「Maybe that masked guy? Heheheh-」
「Him, too.」
「Wha- Seriously!? I was joking! You really mean that?」
「Yes… I have a theory…」
「What is it?」
Falcon leans towards the old man in anticipation, looking at him with a focused gaze. The young man shifts his curved sword out of the way.
「…I can't say. Out of fear of embarrassing myself. But I think he's like that first fighter, who won.」
「Tsk. You mean, he's only bullshitting us that he's weak? Hiding his strength?」
Falcon asks, and Willow only nods in silence.
「That is what makes the most sense to me. Feign weakness at the beginning. Do not show your full hand. Only in the later matches it stops being of importance.」
Willow adds, after his brief silence.
「Well, there's also the possibility that they're all just trash, and we wasted our time.」
Falcon shrugs his hands and smirks.
「I have taken that into consideration. Do not worry, Falcon.」
「I was just- Ah, forget it. You're about as good company on missions as a corpse is. And you're almost one, too.」
The young man crosses his arms again and rolls his eyes, Willow quietly chuckles with his nose, smiling as he looks down at the arena.
「Do not worry, youngster. I'll pester you for years to come, if it pleases the Divine Embodiment.」