「Why is there another woman!?」

「I heard you the first time…」

Stripe shouts again as she points at Nona on his bed, to which Straf replies with a calm, albeit fatigued voice.

「Explain yourself!」

Stripe demands, clenching her fists as she steps into the room proper.

「Why do I have to? It's a woman, and she's sleeping on my bed.」

Straf points his hand at Nona, who is completely ignoring the noise and still curled up into a ball.

「How dare you just!?…」

She continues shouting as grits her teeth and she walks closer, though she doesn't finish her sentence.

「What? You slept with me too.」

He asks, quizzically spreading his hands.

「Don't say it like that! We just slept!」

「You mean like she is right now?…」

Straf points at Nona again while his brow raises at Stripe.

「…I assume you're here because you followed the instructions, and now you're done?」

He throws his hands up before leaning forward with his elbows on his legs. Stripe returns to the door to throw it shut.

Slam!

「Khhkhh… Yeah, we're done! 」

Gritting her teeth with her arms crossed in frustration, she nods, glaring at Straf with a sharp golden gaze.

「And with zero accidents? That must have been tough. I expected at least three lethal ones on day one. Good job.」

Straf nods his head in approval as he remarks in a completely sincere tone.

「Hn?… Nh… Well… I'm doing my best…」

Her head perks up in surprise, and her golden eyes escape aside.

「By the way, how are you feeling?」

「Hm? Why?…」

Stripe asks with her brows furrowed in confusion as her gaze returns to Straf.

「…Are you feeling normal? Just fine?」

Straf spreads his hands with a tight-lipped grimace as he asks back.

「…Yeah, I guess. But I'm dead tired and ready to drop… Which is why I want that woman out of my bed!」

Still mildly confused, Stripe's calm response abruptly turns into an angry shout as she points at Nona again.

「Your bed?… Ah, cat.」

「I am not-!」

「…Do you go into heat like a cat too?」「Wha-!?」

Straf nonchalantly asks with a bored expression on his face. Recoiling back, Stripe's jaw drops in outraged shock.

「'Cause she does, and it's kind of a pain in the ass. Normally I'd be very happy about that, but the first girl gets the first go.」

「…The first girl? Just how many women are you stringing along, you scum!?… You enemy of all women everywhere!」

Blinking at him in sheer disbelief, Stripe gets even more indignant as she walks up closer, shouting at Straf.

「Stringing along?… Ah, you mean how many are in my harem?…」

Straf asks, then brings his hand up and begins counting. He quickly extends two fingers, then briefly looks over his shoulder at Nona, pausing momentarily. Stripe's eyes narrow as he extends another finger then turns forward again. He looks at his hand for a few seconds, then reluctantly extends another finger, surprising and unsettling her. The two then look each other in the eyes.

「Huh?」

Stripe blinks at his hand, tilting her head as Straf extends another finger while looking straight at her.

「…And like two more who aren't aware that they should be in my harem, but technically aren't yet. I'm mostly waiting for the spear lady to change her mind about handling my spear.」

He nonchalantly declares as he quickly adds two more fingers on his other hand.

「Why am I included!?」

She shouts an angry question in wide-eyed shock.

「Isn't it obvious? You're a slave with animal ears. If you wouldn't be in my harem, it'd be like clusterbombing the UN building with bomblets cleverly disguised as food and toys.」

「…What are you talking about, you rambling maniac!?」

Deeply confused, Stripe lightly shakes her head before shouting at Straf again.

「What I'm trying to say is… Even if a lot of people would approve, most would have mixed feelings about it.」

He nonchalantly explains with a bored grimace on his face. Her confusion only grows.

「…That doesn't explain anything! Are you stupid!? What even are clusterbombs and bomblets!?」

Stripe throws her arms up in frustration. The two briefly suspend their conversation while Nona groans loudly and clicks her tongue in her mouth a few times, before rolling over on her back and giggling in her sleep with a huge content grin on her face. When both realize that she's still fast asleep, they turn their gazes towards each other again.

「…Do you want to find out?-」

He asks as a malicious grin slowly appears in his face.

「No! Not after making an entire crateworth of IEDs! What is wrong with you, you fiend!? You could wipe a small kingdom off the map with that!」

She cuts Straf off with a shout before he can say another ominous word.

「Well… That's kind of the point. Have you even seen Parnatau Kingdom on a map? I'll need a few more crates.」

He casually shrugs his shoulders in response and stands up, then heads to the bedside closest to Nona.

「You're going to start another war!?」

「Noooo… They will. It's going to be the war to end all wars, at least for the next few weeks.」

He tilts his head as he replies while scooping up Nona into his arms.

「…Mmmnnhhhh… He he… Hardermhhh…」

Her head rests on his chest, and though she's asleep, her arms unconsciously wrap around his neck. Straf's furrow as he looks at her serene smiling face.

「…Out of morbid curiosity I want to know what goes on in your head, but on a second thought, I don't.」

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Straf says to Nona, though she can't hear it.

「Why does it sound like you're going to do something to start the war?…」

Stripe asks as he walks past her with Nona in his arms.

「I won't, I'll just give them a counter-offer. If they actually accept it, I'll be able to genuinely call myself a politician with a straight face.」

He shrugs and opens the door with his elbow.

「…Where are you taking her?」

Stripe asks with her brows furrowed, following them out.

「To a reprocessing plant.」

He nonchalantly answers with a bored gaze.

「Wh-!? I don't even know what that is, but that sounds vile!」

「I'm just fucking with you. I'm taking her to her bed. She left you a nice warm spot, so go curl up there. I'll be right back to fondle your ears, don't worry.」

Straf walks away with a very gently amused smirk on his face, and Nona's arms wrapped around his neck. Stripe clicks her tongue, shaking her head in disapproval before going back in…

…

Next morning, in the strategic planning room…

Straf is leaning over a map of the region with figures of soldiers laid out on the table. The presented scenario shows an overflow of invading Parnatau Kingdom units into Redwing Kingdom proper, through the narrow mountain pass. Curiously enough, there are a few Redwing Kingdom soldiers situated on the mountains far from action and overlooking Parnatau Kingdom's capital. Cycelia passes by the open doorway, then backpedals to double-take into the dimly lit room. She notices Straf, and the marshal standing by his side.

「Ah! Straf, good morning!」

She walks in with a large, warm smile on her face.

「Mornin', Lia…」

He nods back while rubbing his chin, though his eyes are focused on the map.

「Your majesty…」

Ursa bows towards Cycelia as she joins the table. She looks at the map with them and very quickly tilts her chestnut head.

「Ah… It's an outdated map. I never thought I'd be the cause of that.」

She remarks while her emerald eyes stare at the then-sovereign Telas Kingdom of a map color differing from Redwing Kingdom.

「Yeah, happens… Kinky kitty should be back with a new one right about now-」

Straf nods again, and just as he turns his gaze to the doorway, Stripe enters with a large, rolled up sheet of paper in her hand, breathing heavily.

「…And there she is. Look what the cat dragged in.」

He places his fists on his hips, grinning at Stripe.

「I am-! Tsk…」

She clicks her tongue and shakes her head while she stomps up to the table.

「…Here's your stupid map! That print plate was heavy! Next time do it yourself!」

Stripe angrily throws the rolled up map onto the table. It unfurls slightly. Straf scoops up the deployed units and forces them into the marshal's hands before throwing the old map aside.

He then spreads the new map on the table, revealing that it's exactly the same as the old one, but the border between Telas and Redwing kingdoms are gone, and both are of the same color.

「Ah… Straf…」

Cycelia meekly chimes in with a tight-lipped grimace on her face as Straf is placing all the units back down where they were.

「…Yeah?」

He says, glancing up at her while he rapidly picks out the figures from the marshal's hands.

「…It looks like the new map has an error too. Look. Parnatau Kingdom doesn't have a border with us.」

She walks closer and points her dainty finger at where de jure border between the two should be.

「Indeed… Good eye, your majesty.」

Quickly looking at the spot he pointed out, Ursa nods in agreement.

「Nooooooo…」

Leaning onto the table, Stripe's head drops in dismay while she cringes out of frustration.

「…I rush all the way to the warehouse district and you get the map wrong!?」

She shouts at Straf, spreading her arms.

「And… This is purely subjective, but their new colors are also very similar to ours… It almost makes them look like they're a part of the kingdom.」

Cycelia adds while meekly tapping her fingers together, then shrugs her shoulders.

Snap.

「You're right, Lia. Don't worry, I'm going to fix that reaaal soon.」

Straf snaps his fingers and nods in agreement as well, smirking as he points at her. Stripe gains a tight-lipped grimace and side-glances at Cycelia.

「Ah! No, don't feel rushed, it's not a big issue! It's not like anyone will see it!…」

Cycelia shakes her head and frantically waves her hands in front of herself.

「…But, um… What is the map here supposed to represent?」

She asks, her emerald eyes staring at the units flooding out of the mountain pass.

「A theoretical invasion of Parnatau Kingdom, your majesty. They're belligerent, and this ultimatum may not be their last untoward action. We are preparing for all eventualities.」

Ursa replies while Straf silently nods along with his fists on his hips.

「I see… It's a good idea to be ready for everything… But I hope it will be resolved peacefully. War is a pretty terrible thing.」

Smiling softly, Cycelia nods back at the two. Stripe exchanges a tight-lipped, knowing look with Straf's bored gaze.

「Yup. It's a good thing it's so terrible, though, or we could have ended up liking it.」

Straf casually remarks with a nod of his head, and shrugs his shoulders. Everyone's attention turns to him. The marshal, Stripe, and Cycelia all stare in awe.

「…That is very true, minister.」

With a serious face and a tone of profound respect in his voice, Ursa nods in agreement.

「…One could fill an entire book with your quotes, Straf. How do you do it?」

Cycelia blinks her large green eyes at him while fidgeting with her medallion.

「'Cause I'm smart. And humble.」

Straf spreads his hands, shrugging his shoulders while briefly glancing at all three with a smug smirk on his face…

…

A few hours later, in one of the cities by the Eastern Range, in an unassuming home…

Sitting at a table in a small, dimly lit room, Willow raises the steaming mug of tea up to his wrinkled lips. Pigeons coo softly from the stairs to the attic.

「…A new message, Master Willow.」

A man announces as he treads down the stairs while reading through a small piece of paper in his hand. Each step creaks beneath his boot.

「From the assassin team? A notification of success, I hope…」

The old mage briefly glances over his shoulder, then blows a few times at the green liquid in the mug, and takes a small sip.

「No, Master Willow, it's from Falcon. It says that fiends are rampaging in one of the kingdoms. He wrote that he set out to handle it, but he also specifically requests that you return.」

The man shakes his head as he approaches the table, lowering the message.

「What? Fiends?… There was a blood moon just now… He should be able to handle a few of them.」

Willow furrows his bushy brows, setting his mug down.

「That's the thing, Master Willow. He wrote that their numbers are more like an invasion force, rather than a random attack. Should I write a reply that you refuse?…」

The man asks, and the old mage lowers his gaze to the floor in deep thought.

「…No. Write that I'll come back, Straf Katastrof Vindict be damned. Do keep me updated on the assassins' progress, though… I suppose I'll set out after I'm done with this.」

He replies, then turns back to his tea and takes another small sip.

「…Understood. It was an honor, Master Willow.」

The man bows lightly.

「Cut it out already, youngster…」

The old mage scoffs, shaking his head with a light grin as the man returns upstairs towards the sound of the pigeons…

…

Around the same time, elsewhere, somewhere in the sky…

In the cold air far above the plains and the mountains, clouds leisurely roll past the yellowing forests and plains below. Flocks of birds flap their wings, then glide in a synchronized wave, taking a sharp but smooth turn. A few moments later, the flock scatters and dives down into the clouds, terribly panicked.

FFWOOOOM!…

Massive black wings cast tempestuous winds, scattering the clouds far beneath the dragon while it glides towards the center of the continent…