「Welcome! Have a seat!」

As soon as Straf and Cycelia cross the threshold, a bearded man at the long bar table greets them. It takes Cycelia only a momentary glance to find a free table in the room full of light, chatter and patrons. A hearthfire lights up the inn, and heats up a cauldron with something bubbling within.

「Here, Straf!」

She takes Straf's hand and leads him there, she then only lets go to pull her chair out. She sits down and so does Straf, partially sideways, with his elbow on the table. Mere moments later, a waitress with a bright smile and red hair braided into a ponytail walks up to them…

「Hello! Let me know what you want to order.」

「I'll have-」

Straf stops himself when the waitress hands them both a stiff, large paper card.

「Here's the menu! I'll be right back.」

She hastily walks away from their table to serve another their order, then beelines for the next one.

「…Menu?」

Straf involuntarily squints with one eye as he looks at the colored and ornately decorated list he just received. Cycelia reads through her menu as well.

「What will you have, Straf?」

Her green eyes peek out from over the menu.

「...Pancakes? Hamburger? Do you even know what Hamburg is?」

Straf asks Cycelia as he reads the increasingly unbelievably modern menu. Her eyebrows raise a little.

「Hm? Yes, that's a meat patty.」

「No. Hamburg, not hamburger- Wait, mashed potatoes!?」

「Yes. Do potatoes not grow in your kingdom, Straf?」

「That is not- Forget it… So you didn't have to go to another continent for them, huh…」

「Huh?」

Cycelia tilts her head, not understanding what Straf means as he rubs his eyebrows and closed eyes with his fingers. The waitress returns to their table.

「Hello again, have you decided?」

「Yes! Can I have… Fried sausages, with a side of mashed potatoes and a little bit of salad?」

「Sure! And what will you have, sir?」

Straf stops rubbing his face and looks up at the waitress, her face partially hidden by her large bust.

「I'll have whatever soup you have that looks kind of gross, and has random unidentified colorful bits in it.」

《Get sent to another world and eat a hamburger? Who would do that?》

Straf tells the waitress standing over him with a bored expression and tired eyes. She blinks a few, then tilts her head a little too.

「Do you mean… A stew?」

「Is that what it is? I can never figure it out. A stew it is then.」

「Any drinks?」

She asks, looking at both of them.

「Ah! I'll have a bread drink!」

Straf's head perks up as he hears Cycelia order her drink.

「And how about you?」

The waitress looks away from Cycelia and places her gaze on Straf, who has his brows furrowed now.

「...Bread drink? I'll have that too.」

He sticks his menu out towards the waitress, and so does Cycelia. The waitress collects the cards.

「Understood. I'll bring your drinks in just a moment, the food will be ready soon. That will be 15 coppers total.」

Her cleavage, barely covered by her long barmaid dress jiggles as she bows, and departs to relay the order to the bearded man.

「I'll pay. Meanwhile, can you tell me… Just what is a bread drink?」

Cycelia opens her mouth and waves her hands, but she stops when she sees Straf is already pulling copper coins out of his [Portable Storage]. She sighs in defeat.

「Aa- Ahh, I can still afford food… You don't know, Straf? It's pretty popular with the peasants. It's grain mash, fermented for just a little bit, so it's not alcoholic. You can drink as much of it as you want. It's very refreshing.」

「That sounds like…」

The waitress returns and places two tankards of yellow, beer-like liquid on the table. She scoops the stack of coins Straf placed on the table, counts them quickly, then shoves them into her cleavage.

「Here's your drinks! I'll bring you the food in just a second!」

She bows again with a big smile and leaves to talk to the bearded man again. Straf takes the tankard in hand and takes a small gulp.

「Ahhh…」

「Hits the spot, doesn't it?」

Cycelia smiles and takes a sip from her own. Straf cringes with clenched teeth.

《Shit! I knew it! I knew it sounded familiar!》

His tongue smacks in his mouth multiple times as he takes in the drink's flavor, it resembles a mass-produced, charcoal black fizzy drink that absolutely everybody knows, but with a faint bready aftertaste.

《It's kvass! The staple Central and Eastern European medieval peasant drink! How dare you do this to me, Athea!? They have trash cans but then they drink kvass!? And what is a hamburger doing on a menu here!? Are you telling me there is a Hamburg somewhere out here I can visit!? Maybe sight-see some dragons, snacking on french fries on top of an Eiffel tower!? Either the time period is schizophreniac ages, or it's all period accurate! Make up your mind!》

A wooden bowl clanks on the table gently, its steaming liquid contents dance softly. Straf looks up from his tankard, and sees a delicious-looking plate of sausages, potatoes and greens in front of Cycelia, who is rubbing her palms in anticipation.

「Here you go! Enjoy!」

The waitress bows politely one last time, before she leaves to tend to another table. Cycelia takes utensils into her hands.

「Thank you for the food! Om.」

She exclaims, and immediately bites into a sausage with delight. Straf stares at his bowl of oily brown sludge, with cubes of orange, red, dark green and white floating about…

「Yeah… I'm going to regret ordering this, but a trope is a trope.」

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

He says, and he spoons some of it into his mouth. He blinks in silence, Cycelia takes notice of his odd expression.

《Son of a bitch.》

「…Is it not good, Straf? We can share mine if-」

「It's good.」

「Ah- You're not just saying that, are you?」

「…No, seriously. It's good.」

《I expected it to taste like nothing, or cardboard. It's literally just a stew. Brothy, savory, meaty. I still have no clue what this shit floating in it is, but it tastes good. Who knew the otherworld soup is tasty?》

「Okay. I'm glad. Nom.」

She nods, and takes another bite of the sausage, chewing rapidly like a hamster. Straf looks around the inn as he eats his stew. The patrons are mostly adventurers, and mostly men, although there are some women mixed in. Some city dwellers are having drinks here and there as well.

「...How is that guy with the sword on his back planning to draw it?」

Straf thinks out loud as he eats. Cycelia looks back over her shoulder, her teeth still sunk into the sausage. Her eyes return to Straf, and she simply shrugs.

…

Not too long passes, both Cycelia and Straf have finished their food. She lifts her arms, clasps her hands together, and stretches out with a groan.

《Clothes have no durability, huh?》

Straf thinks as he stares at the buttons on her stretched shirt. She sighs with relief and contentment.

「That was really good. I'm glad I finally had the time to take it easy and eat at my own pace.」

《Her own pace is pretty quick.》

「We should get a room now. You must be pretty tired from all that today.」

「Ah… Not all that much, but… Is it really a good idea, Straf? To stay here?」

She asks quietly as she looks around the room, her eyes drifting to the bartender at the long table and to the exit.

「I told you, didn't I? They're not likely to come back here soon. You can rest easy for as long as you want. I'll keep my eyes open for you.」

Straf says nonchalantly, as he pushes his chair away and gets up.

Ba-dump.

Cycelia's fingers play with her medallion, she gets up and follows Straf to the bearded man's table.

「I want to get a room. How much are they?」

Straf asks as he leans in on the table.

「For one day? One bed is 5 coppers, two beds is 8, one double bed is 10.」

「Give me double bed…」

He slaps a handful of coins on the desk with a distinct clank. Cycelia's eyes widen and her jaw drops.

Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump.

《Wha- Wha- What!? So suddenly-!?》

「…And make it two rooms, next to each other.」

Straf lifts his hand off the pile of 20 copper coins.

《Ah. Figures…》

Cycelia sighs. The innkeeper slides each of them closer one by one with his finger, then drops the whole pile somewhere under the table on his side. He leans under it, and pulls out two keys with numbered wooden plates attached. Straf takes one of them and examines it.

「Your rooms are upstairs. We also have the baths off to the side there.」

He nods his head towards a corner beyond a door-less door frame.

「Don't need baths.」

Straf announces as a matter of fact.

《I didn't spend 50 points to do something as plebeian as bathe.》

「Lia, are you going to head to bed?」

「Ah… If the baths are in the price of the room, I was thinking about taking one, actually…」

「There's buckets, and water heated by the hearth there.」

The innkeeper chimes in.

「Well, alright then. I'll wait for you here, I think.」

Straf shrugs, and goes back to the table they were sitting at.

「Okay! I'll try to not take long!」

Cycelia gives Straf a last wave, and walks towards the baths in a hurry.

…

「Athea, what is the meaning of this? I thought this world would be filled to brim with cliches. You're telling me the peasants here drink kvass? Shouldn't they be drinking cola instead? There's hamburgers! What's up with that!?」

Straf rants angrily at the ceiling as he sits with crossed arms. Athea sighs loudly in his head.

《You said generic and boring. Did you have exact percentages in mind before you wished for that?》

「Shouldn't it be exactly as I wished for!?」

《But it is. This is the closest world I could find to what you requested. Or, did you perhaps mean that I should create you an entirely new world and make you its god?》

「That would be kind of boring…」

《Exactly. Moreover, it would also be outside of my power. I put you into the exact world under my care, that you could live out your perverted fantasies, hopefully not ruining anything. My powers aren't limitless. Are you really going to be simultaneously upset at things being so-called generic, and not generic enough the whole time you're here?》

「I'll be upset if it's shitty things. Like architecture being boring, or overdone city designs.」

She sighs again.

《So, what is it that you want exactly? Frankly, I already fulfilled your wishes. I am not obliged to do anything else for you. But if it's something minor, I suppose I could see if I can make it happen.》

「I want tropes that every teenager would clap his hands and squeal in joy over happen to me. Cycelia is a pretty good example. I mean, come on, look at her.」

He rubs his chin as he thinks further.

「Also… I want plot hooks and arcs that I can completely destroy and dismantle. Kind of like a ragdoll I can just rip apart, limb by limb.」

《Good grief… You really are a twisted person. This world is not your plaything. Just find something you can occupy yourself with, like hunting giant beasts. Someone with just a quarter of your points could become a legendary hero and write himself into the history books of this world forever. Why don't you do that, and stop bothering me while I'm working?》

「Tsk. Worthless dyslexiac grim reaper…」

Straf looks away as he clicks his tongue.

《Shut up! Good grief…》