After passing the Adventurers' Guild and following the signs placed down a packed dirt path, Straf and Cycelia are heading uphill through a forest.
「Are we there yet?」
Straf asks, looking at the sky between the treetops.
《You are almost there! Stop asking! You said you won't be obnoxious about it!》
Athea exclaims in frustration, almost shouting.
「I did not say that. Quote me.」
《But you-》
There is a momentary silence after Athea abruptly cuts her sentence off.
「Heh. See?」
Straf smirks at the white clouds passing by above.
《Fine. My bad. You did not say that. I hallucinated it because in my mind, you are a much more reasonable person and much less insanely frustrating than you are in reality!》
「Are we there yet?」
Straf asks again with a smug grin.
《Stop! Asking! Already!》
「Straf… I think even your girlfriend has to be annoyed if you keep asking that…」
Cycelia chimes into the conversation she has no idea that is occurring, looking at Straf with mild concern on her face.
《Ahhh! She's such a great girl! She just gets it! You don't deserve her!》
Athea sighs with relief, praising Cycelia with clear joy in her voice.
「Tsk. Fine… Oh.」
Straf glances at Cycelia, then clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. He looks forward again when they reach the crest of the hill. The area levels out, and the forest thins out abruptly towards the top of the hill. A grassy field stretches on for quite a distance.
「Wow… It's so pretty here…」
Cycelia looks around, admiring the grassy open space sparsely populated by colorful flowers. Ahead of them, a large shallow lake filled with clear water is filled from a creek streaming from a few rocks jutting out of the dirt in the distance.
「Yeah, I can see why this is a tourist destination. But I'm only here for this.」
Straf says as he walks up to a massive, dark boulder. A sword is sticks out of its side at chest-level.
「This is the legendary sword? It looks so… Ordinary.」
Cycelia walks up behind Straf and peeks over his shoulder. They look at the sword, which looks like a completely normal weapon Straf could have come across at any merchant. Straf focuses his sight on the hilt of the sword. A large, scrollable screen appears over it.
『Hoperender』
[Blessed] [Durable] [Blessing: Self-repair] [Blessing: Extended durability] [Blessing: Undeadbane] [Blessing: Demonbane] [Blessing: Homing strike] [Blessing: Mana strike] [Blessing: Return] [Blessing: Soulburn] [Blessing: Virtuous restraint]
An iron sword. The weapon has been blessed by Mercia and bestowed with boons.
Self-repair enables 『Hoperender』 to repair damage by consuming user's mana. The process accelerates when more severely damaged.
Extended durability boosts natural durability of the weapon.
Undeadbane causes aggravated damage to 『Undead』 type creatures, such as 『Vampire』 or 『Ghoul』 sub-type.
Demonbane causes aggravated damage to 『Demon』 type creatures, such as 『Fiend』 or 『Succubus』 sub-type.
Homing strike guides the sword towards vital points. The wielder must be fully focused on harming the opponent.
Mana strike allows the wielder to charge 『Hoperender』 with mana to be unleashed as a devastating strike. Current charge: 49315 mana points.
Return causes 『Hoperender』 to attempt to return to wielder's grip if thrown or lost, whenever physically possible.
Soulburn allows the wielder to use all current and future life's potential to deal a devastating blow. The result is dependent on wielder's age and general health.
Virtuous restraint causes 『Hoperender』 to slip out of wielder's grasp if attempting to strike down naturally peaceful beings, or the innocent.
Durability
12000000000000000/12000000000000000
[||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||]
「Yeah. It looks ordinary, but it's the real deal. No shit he killed the demon lord with a thing like this, a monkey could do that. Why is the description so bland, though?」
Straf squints as he scrolls through the list, confusing Cycelia heavily.
「…Description?」
Cycelia tilts her head, and Straf grips onto the sword.
「Whatever, time to get it out.」
He shrugs, and slams his foot onto the boulder.
「Straf, you can't seriously mean you are going to-」
「Hnnnnnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!」
《Ah! He is! He's really trying to pull it out!》
Cycelia blinks, shocked by Straf's unrestrained bravado.
「Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhgggggg!! Hnnnnnnnnnnnghh!! Come on you piece of shit! Hnnnnnnnnngh!」
Straf keeps grunting as he pulls at the blade with all his might. It doesn't even budge.
「Heh… Shit. Is it seriously that stuck? Lily, how about you stop just watching?」
Straf steps away, breathing heavily as he lets go of the sword. He places his fists on his hips, and calls out towards nowhere in particular.
「Oh my, you knew I was there?」
Lily asks, placing herself beside Straf as she walks in from behind Cycelia, much to her surprise.
「Yeah, I had the creepy feeling crawling down my back again. And you said you'll come back in the morning. I guess it's a little less creepy when I know it's just you. How about you help me pull this thing out?」
Straf asks Lily hiding her form underneath her parasol, and points his palm to the sword in the stone.
「The supposed legendary hero's sword? I could try… Do you like my dress, Straf?」
Lily asks with a smug grin peeking out from her parasol's rim, and her scarlet eyes gaze into his.
「Hm? It's the same dress, isn't it? Did you fix it?」
Straf furrows his brows as he looks at the little vampire's ornate, gothic, red-black dress. The tear he was expecting to see is missing.
「No! It's a new dress, can't you see!?」
She places her clawed little hand on her flat chest in exasperation.
「…You have a lot of those, don't you?」
Straf asks with his brows raised and his fists on his hips.
「…It's my favorite color.」
Lily pouts and strokes one of her golden twin-tails while looking aside.
「Yeah, you fit right in with the other 12 year olds. Now give me a hand here.」
Straf shrugs and grabs onto the sword again, this time by the hilt and upper half of the crossguard, leaving the lower half for Lily to grip.
「Very well-」
She walks up to the sword and reaches for the crossguard. As soon as she touches it…
Tssssssssss!
「Agh!」
Lily shouts out and recoils, pulling her hand away as it's painfully scorched. Straf lets go of the sword with surprise on his face, and Cycelia quickly steps over to Lily with concern on her face.
「Lily! Are you okay?」
Cycelia shouts, and asks as she lowers her head to peek under the parasol. Lily's hand is horribly scorched and steaming, shaped almost exactly like the handguard she touched for just a moment.
「Dispense. With the pity. Human.」
Lily glares at Cycelia. Her slit pupils are narrow and focused on Cycelia's large, concerned green eyes. The vampire girl commands Cycelia through her clenched teeth, her long fangs showing.
「…Yeah, you alright Lily? It kind of was like the sound when you pour water into a hot frying pan.」
Straf steps closer, and Lily straightens out of her slight slouch beneath her parasol.
「It will regenerate. Slowly, but it will. I can't touch the sword, Straf. It's cursed.」
The vampire girl lowers her hand, and looks up at Straf with a serious face as she speaks.
「Cursed? I thought it was blessed.」
Straf's brow rises as he glances at the sword.
「It's cursed for me. It's blessed for you. I can see how the human hero managed to kill even the barons with it. A mere brush against it feels like eternity in the accursed sun.」
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Lily glares at the sword with cold disdain. She then gazes at Cycelia with hostile, scarlet eyes.
「May I ask why are you following Straf around?」
Lily asks as she puts both of her hands on her parasol, albeit only using her fingertips on her burnt hand. Cycelia starts shifting around uncomfortably at the question.
「I… He promised to return the throne to me.」
Nearly compulsed to answer truthfully, Cycelia says as she fidgets with her medallion, looking downwards.
「I see… So you will separate once that is done?」
A pleased grin appears on Lily's face. She further asks Cycelia with a smug smile.
「I… I don't know. I don't want to force Straf into anything, but I will have to manage the kingdom for a while. I don't know how long that will take, and I don't know when I will be able to join him on his adventures again…」
She continues fiddling with her sapphire-set medallion.
《Great. She wants to become a static harem member? I really want to avoid those. Athea is already one too many, but she's also an instant delivery so that evens out…》
Straf looks at Cycelia with a troubled face, his fists placed above the crossing belts on his hips.
「I have to say Straf, you really look like a proper adventurer now, with those belts and all.」
Cycelia glances at Straf and smiles gently.
「More like a hobo-for-hire. Ah… So the vampire can't even touch it, and I alone can't really pull it out for some reason…」
Straf sighs, looking at the sword. He glances back at Cycelia.
「Want to give it a try, Lia? Maybe you're the hero and so on and so on… Dibs on the sword, though.」
Straf presents the sword, stepping away from the rock.
「Hmpf. Yes, why don't you give it a try? Who knows, it may be true…」
Lily crosses her arms and scoffs with a derisive smirk showing her fang, not bothering to even look at Cycelia as she speaks to her.
「Ahahah… No way, I can't pull it out… I guess I can give it a try…」
《I'm going to actually die if the sword pops out! It better not! I am just not ready for a responsibility like that!》
Cycelia waves her hand in front of her face, and meekly steps over to the sword in the boulder. She grips onto the hilt with her pale slender fingers, and starts pulling.
「Humpf! Hmpf! Hnngh! Hmmmmfph!」
As she tugs at the hilt, Cycelia slides closer to the boulder instead of sliding the sword out of it.
「Come on Lia, put your back into it.」
Straf stands near, cheerleading Lia on.
「Hmmmmmmmmpf! Hnnnnnnya! Hnnnngh!」
Cycelia grunts and grunts as she yanks at the hilt, but it refuses to budge. Eventually, she gives up and lets go of the hilt.
「Ah… As I thought, I can't… Whew.」
She takes a few heavy, fatigued breaths, then exhales with relief.
《Give it up already. Have a picnic or something. Isn't the lake beautiful? Take a moment to rest, slow down, appreciate the world-》
Athea's voice resounds in Straf's head as he steps closer to the stuck sword.
「I said I am not doing slow life. I am not leaving this place without the sword.」
Straf clicks his tongue, places his fists on his hips and looks up at the sky with a scowl.
《Feel free to keep trying to pull it out like a madman, then. I am not stopping you, but I will not help you, either.》
「Pull it? Nah, I'm done with that shit.」
Straf grabs onto the sword.
「What!?」 「Huh!? The whole thing!?」
Both Lily and Cycelia exclaim in shock as Straf lifts the humongous boulder up from the ground. Globs of dirt fall from its damp bottom. Both the princess and the vampire take multiple steps back, as this feat of strength is challenging even for Straf.
《What are you-!? What are you doing!? Put it down! Are you insane!? Did you actually lose your mind you completely-》
Athea screams into Straf's mind as he lifts the boulder-on-a-sword high above his head, and swings it down…
…
「…And I tell him, you're not going to topple that, and he says watch me.」
「Uh-huh.」
A man in the village inn is telling a story to the innkeeper as he wipes a tankard with a rag.
「And then he runs into the tree, rams it with his shoulder-」
Thud!
Something makes a horribly loud, dull impact noise in the distance, somewhere in a direction that's impossible to tell for sure. The man pauses his story, and the innkeeper pauses his wiping. The ground shakes terribly, the whole building creaks, the tables wobble and the tankards behind them jump and clatter. They stare at each other with large eyes and a copied grimace, visibly frightened but trying to appear nonchalant.
Eventually the rumbling calms down, and the innkeeper resumes wiping his tankard like nothing happened.
「Fires… Earthquakes… I'm telling you, all we need is a plague and a war for a full set.」
The innkeeper says as he shakes his head.
「This village is done for. Those kids kill the horndogs the other day, and we're all happy, thinking we can go get those manatrees now, right? Then the fire starts. We're cursed.」
The man shakes his head as well, and takes a large chug from his tankard.
「Yeah. That's what I told the traveler yesterday. Figure the manatrees burned down? He was asking about that.」
「Shit, I don't know. Maybe? Maybe not? He could go check, we're all shitting our pants with the guys that there might be more trouble out there… Those trees are cursed too. This whole rotten village is.」
「Yup. Nothing good ever happens. He went to look at the sword up the hill, bet some monsters will eat him and the girl.」
The innkeeper nods with a slanted mouth, dejectedly wiping the tankard.
「…Do you think I should check on them? Welcome them, at least? You know, they might come back if the stay was pleasant… And I could ask him to check on the trees for us…」
「Do what you want. He looked like an adventurer type, his shirt was torn to shit. The lady with him? Neat clothes, and pretty like a painting. Probably some noblewoman who wants to look at us commoners like we're some exotic animals.」
The innkeeper shrugs, and shakes his head again.
「…Pretty? I'll go check on them, I guess. Though I'll get one of the guys, in case there really are monsters out there.」
The man takes one last gulp from his tankard, emptying it, and stands up. He exits the inn with a hurried step.
「Ahh… That's the last I'll see of him, isn't it? And he has quite the tab too… This inn is cursed…」
The innkeeper sighs as he sets the tankard behind him with a clink, adding it to the rest…
…
《…Why!? Why!?! Why can't you just behave!? Do you derive some sort of sadistic pleasure from destroying the careful balance I left in this world!?》
Athea continues her screaming fit as Straf is trying to kick a tiny piece of the boulder still attached to the sword's side.
「…Why can't it just- Fucking get off. You piece of shit…」
He mumbles under his breath, kicking at the rock chipping to no effect. He clicks his tongue, and gives up.
「I wouldn't call it sadistic, but yeah, it's pretty fun. Thanks for building this pretty sandcastle, kicking it is very cathartic.」
Straf grins at the sky, placing his hand on the pommel of the sword as its tip rests on the grass.
《If the hero's descendants actually need the sword, what am I supposed to tell them!?》
「Sorry, the MacGuffin is in another boulder.」
《You- Krkkkk… How dare you!? How dare you, you deranged maniac!?》
Straf shrugs, and sardonically quotes someone. At the same time, Lily and Cycelia walk up to him in awe as the gigantic boulder split in half. Beneath it, the earth ruptured into a long fissure stretching all the way to the treeline far away on the other side of the hill.
「As expected… Your power continues to amaze me.」
Lily says, smirking as she closes her eyes.
「H- How did you do that, Straf!? How did you get the sword out!? Are you an actual ogre!? No, this goes way beyond an ogre! Are you an actual demon, Straf!?」
Utterly shocked, Cycelia tracks the fissure with her massive eyes and then glances back at Straf as she exclaims.
「Uhhh… No, I don't think so.」
「Don't think so!? So there's a non-0 chance!?」
「Dunno. Honestly, I don't like to think about it. Plot twists like that are stupid. Yeah, they're cliches, but they're shit. Hope I don't find out in a few months that I'm actually a ghost- Wait, that would make no sense, you and Lily can see me just fine…」
Straf shrugs, then rubs his chin with furrowed brows as he thinks. The earth rumbles again.
「Again? Is that aftershocks?」
Straf's head perks up, and his brows rise. Lily and Cycelia look around, as the ground continues to rumble more and more. The rumbling seems to get more centralized underneath them after a few seconds.
「Straf, I have a bad feeling about this…」
Cycelia looks around herself at the shifting ground with large, frightened eyes.
「Same… Something is coming.」
Lily says as she looks at the ground as well with cautious eyes. Her expression is calm and serious, but her rapidly shifting eyes betray her internal unease.
「Relax. It's just aftershocks. I know it's the necessary cliche for people here to not know what earthquakes are, but-」
Straf gestures with his free hand as he speaks with a smug, amused grin. A loud growl interrupts his sentence, and a big, fat grub-like worm shoots out of the dirt on the other side of the hilltop clearing.
「Okay. It's not aftershocks…」
Straf says, placing his hip on his fist as he watches the worm. It is completely eyeless, and its front is a maw that amounts to nothing more than a collection of sharp teeth closely set together in a circle, row after a row after a row.
As tall and wide as multiple shipping containers placed side-to-side and stacked on each other, the subterranean grub undulates slowly across the grass, crushing it beneath its massive weight.
「What is that!?」
Cycelia shouts, skittering behind Straf.
「I don't have the slightest idea either… It's the first time I've seen something like this.」
Lily scoffs at the sight of Cycelia being skittish, but her inhuman eyes immediately return to the worm before them with a serious expression on the vampire girl's face.
「…It's a ripoff.」
Straf says, sighing heavily…