The next morning, curious citizens assemble below the palace balcony. Awaiting the queen to appear any moment now, the crowd rumbles and mumbles in a low steady murmur. Finally, she appears, full of noble grace before her subjects wearing her royal regalia.
Despite the determined and serious look on her face, her nervous green eyes squint at the people below.
《Ahh… I didn't expect so many so early in the morning… Will I really get everything right? Will Straf be upset if I don't? He's working himself to the bone, I don't want to mess something up for him…》
A frown unnoticeable to anyone below appears on her face. The steward walks out onto the balcony looking at a long piece of paper, an aging man already parting with his hair, he stands just ever so slightly behind Cycelia at her side and nods when she looks over her shoulder at him.
「Ahem…」
The queen bites her lip, then sighs. She clears her throat in an exaggerated manner, and takes a deep breath.
「Hear me, good people of the kingdom! This is an address to whom it may concern!」
Cycelia musters out the most powerful and authoritative voice she's able to. With her hand extended at the crowd below, she tries her hardest to rouse some semblance of emotion out of the people with her words as she continues.
「I hereby declare the opening of the kingdom's stock market! A novel idea of the finance minister Straf Katastrof Vindict!」
Cycelia proclaims. Some heads tilt in the crowd as the people begin mumbling something amongst themselves.
「…Stock market?」 「Huh?」
「What is that?」
The citizenry below subsequently ask each other, and shrug their shoulders.
「Dunno, first time I'm hearing of this…」
The people keep mumbling, and Cycelia gives them a moment of pause to process the new information before continuing.
「…At the stock market, which is located in the capital's bank for the time being, you will be able to trade stock!… Er…」
《Gaah! I already forgot something! Whyyy!?》
Cycelia attempts to maintain a stone face, and fails in cringe-filled anguish.
「…Certificates, your highness.」
The paper in his hands rustles as the steward comes to Cycelia's aid, serving almost as a prompter.
「…Stock certificates! These certificates will serve as a proof of ownership. A portion of a business that one is entitled to! At the stock market, all interested parties can come forward to buy and sell their certificates as they wish, without having to search the countryside for sellers or buyers!」
She gracefully recovers, acting as if her pause never happened. The people begin mumbling once more.
「…Why would I buy one?」 「…Why would anyone sell any?」
Some men in the crowd furrow their brows as they look up at the queen with their arms crossed, shaking their heads.
「Instead of signing the ownership certificate to a fixed name, simply owning the certificate will serve like a fraction of a deed! There will be no need for witnesses, nor court fees! The certificate itself serves as proof of ownership, enabling faster trade!」
Cycelia continues, and some heads begin nodding.
「…That kind of makes sense.」
「Yeah, it's kind of like the drakes isn't it?」
Some people in the crowd rub their chins with their brows furrowed, now attentively listening to Cycelia.
「And as such… The finance minister requested that I announce an initial!… Er, what was it again?」
Cycelia glances at the steward for help with a nervous smile.
「Initial public offering, your highness.」
The paper rustles as he reads a line from it.
「…An initial public offering of Strafdrakes! Currently, this will be the only stock certificate traded on the stock market, but I have certainty, that it is only a matter of time until the benefits become clear to other businesses!」
Cycelia showily throws her hand out, proudly ignoring her previous pause.
「Initial public offering? What's that?」
「…Strafdrakes?」
More curious murmuring begins, Cycelia gives the people a moment before continuing.
「Trading under the… Er… Um…」
「Ticker, I believe it was, your highness.」
The steward verbally rushes in to aid as Cycelia stumbles for words once more.
「…Ah, yes… Trading under the ticker, er… STFD, short for Strafdrakes, it will become the first publicly-traded business on the stock market! If you are a resident of the capital, you must have heard of the coffee shop on the way to the park!」
Cycelia points her hand in the vague direction of the once quiet, dim cafe.
「That place? What does it have to do with anything?」
One man in the crowd remarks, looking side to side for answers, but none of the gathered have any.
「That coffee shop's ownership, and any of its extended business will be represented by Strafdrakes certificates, which will begin selling today! And, um…」
Cycelia's voice drifts off to silence, glancing aside as she taps her finger on the balustrade.
「Wait, I can own a portion of that place!?」 「That's crazy!」
The business-oriented people in the crowd already begin formulating plans, and sly grins start cropping up on the faces below.
「How does it work? Do I own a maid or two if I buy a certificate?-」
A man's curious question to his fellow is interrupted by Cycelia's voice.
「…And I'd like to add that it is my favorite establishment! It's the best! So relaxing!… For more details, inquire at the bank! That is all!」
Cycelia proudly exclaims, in a contrast to her serious and authoritative voice from just moments ago. The paper rustles as the steward's balding head recoils back in shocked surprise. He blinks at the queen in tight-lipped disbelief when she shoots an innocent smile at him over her shoulder.
The crowd is silent, some are staring at Cycelia with their jaws dropped, some with their brows furrowed, some with both.
「Ah. Was I too casual at the end there?」
Cycelia tilts her head at the crowd's reaction.
「Ah, er, no… That's not…」
The paper rustles as the steward stumbles for words. The crowd below begins rumbling and mumbling quietly.
「…Does she have a thing for maids? No wait, doesn't she have enough of them?」
「Are you serious?」
Voices of shock and disbelief rise in the crowd.
「…Wait, is this why she's still unmarried?」
「What a waste!…」
A man cries out with a dejected voice.
「Then what of the kingdom? If there's no heir?…」
「Not my problem, I'll be long dead before the succession war starts-」
Clunk!
Just as conspiratorial theories begin to brew, a loud noise of an empty wooden crate impacting the cobblestones catches everyone's attention.
「I'll spare you the trouble of going to the bank!」
Straf exclaims as he hops onto a large wooden crate he just dropped in the middle of the crowd, grabbing everyone's attention.
「Straf! Whew! Now everyone hopefully will forget about that last part!」
With slight exaggeration, Cycelia sighs out in relief as she sees Straf on the crate with Lily and the coffee store owner standing just beside it.
「Yes, with some luck…」
The steward awkwardly scratches his temple with a nervous grin, nodding along.
「Who are you!?」
A voice in the crowd asks. Straf snaps his finger and points at the man.
「You couldn't have set up a better opening if you tried!」
Straf grins, then stretches his hand out towards Lily below. Expectantly wiggling his fingers as a signal, she hands Straf a thick stack of papers.
「I am Straf! Katastrof! Vindict! And I have what you need, even if you don't know it yet!」
He enunciates with a smug grin, holding up the stack of papers so it's visible to all.
「…The finance minister?」
One man quietly asks, tilting his head.
「That's right! What's an IPO if there's no P, right? You can raise above the unwashed masses by buying one, or two, or ten of these. Class Goblin shares of Strafdrakes! Don't tell me you never heard of Strafdrakes. What are you, an idiot!?」
Straf waves the papers in his hand, the stack is far too thick to flap around, and only bends ever so slightly towards the ground from the motion.
「Why would I want some goblin shares!? Aren't goblins weak!? What's up with that?」
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An indignant man shouts a question.
《Heh. I can't believe these guys aren't paid actors.》
Straf's smug grin grows further as he looks at the man.
「Oh yeah, they are! But you know what else goblins are, too?」
Straf asks the crowd a question, spreading his arms.
「…Horny?」 「…Stupid?」 「Evil?」 「Rapi-?」
The crowd stops to think for a second, and answers one after another. Straf clicks his tongue in frustration.
「Yeah all of above! But you know what else!? Strong! In! Numbers!」
He shouts out in frustration at the abruptly derailed pitch, flapping the stack of certificates in his hand again for the emphasis as he cuts one answer off.
「Remember, stocks are a status symbol! Do you want people to know you're poor!? You're not going to impress anyone with your whopping one share of Strafdrakes! Even women could beat a single goblin to death!」
Straf continues, this time not permitting the crowd to answer the rhetorical question, hastily moving on with his pitch, waving his hand about as he speaks.
「That's why you buy as many as you can afford! Why!? Because just like goblins, your money will multiply! Ain't that a neat trick!? It's free money! And just like goblins, don't think too hard where it came from!」
Straf spreads his arms, grinning at the crowd.
「So if I buy a piece, I'm owed profits!?」
A man asks, Straf rolls his eyes.
「Come on man, think about it. If the business would have to pay every owner of the stocks all of its profits, they'd run out of money and the certificates would be worthless!」
Straf explains in an almost mocking tone, as if the answer was obvious.
「…But if I'm not owed the profit, why would I buy-!?」
「Oh, I'm glad you asked! These certificates require trust!」
Straf cuts the man's follow-up question off with a smug grin.
「…Trust?」
The crowd starts to mumble. They furrow their brows at each other, and at Straf.
「That's right. You need to trust in the business! After all, what if you buy a stinking bag of shit!? You'll never make money off of that! Buy a bad business, and they'll board up the windows before you can blink! Your certificates will be a mark of shame, and toilet paper in a pinch!」
Straf exclaims, once again enticingly waving the certificates around to the crowd.
「But if you buy a good business, what if it expands? You'll still owe the same portion of it, and it'll hold a lot more value! That means the certificate is worth a lot more too, right!? That's easy money right there! Just trade the difference!」
Straf shrugs his shoulders with a massive grin, and the people start to mumble amongst themselves, rubbing their chins with their brows furrowed.
「…Yeah, that makes sense.」 「Just like that? That's money out of nowhere…」
Some men are already hooked, nodding their heads, intently listening to Straf's words.
「…If things go well, I could retire early.」
One man remarks, still cautious.
「The sale will be taking an auction format! We reserve the right to sell at any price! If you buy here now, it's an obligation! No backing out! If you do not have the money to pay up-front, you have two days to deliver the money to the bank or I will hound your ass!」
Straf sweeps his extended finger across the crowd with a scowl, shouting a indescript, threatening warning.
「…Who exactly are we handing the money to? I mean, who is the owner?」
Somebody asks a surprisingly shrewd question, causing Straf's brows to rise in surprise.
「The owner of Strafdrakes is right here.」
Straf points to the elderly man standing beside the crate, startling him a little.
「I will have you know that I am already a stock owner of fifty shares, I invested a fair amount of gold already. If you have more questions, you can read the terms and conditions on the certificate after you buy it.」
Straf shrugs, spreading his arms with a sly grin.
「Now. The starting price is 2 gold coins per share. I've got 150 certificates, and it looks like there's a lot more than 100 people here. Do the math…」
Loud mumbling begins as Straf rouses the crowd.
「…Have I mentioned Strafdrakes is already opening up more locations in more cities? No matter which one you pick, you'll get coffee and maids!」
Straf completes his pitch, grinning smugly ear to ear at the people.
「…We are?」
The elderly coffee shop owner quietly asks with his brows furrowed. A single silent glare from Straf is enough to discourage further questions.
「…Maids?」
Blinking in confusion, Cycelia tilts her head listening to Straf speak.
「I'll buy five! I'll bring the money today!」
Shouting, a man close to the crate raises his hand.
「Five for two! Can we get three gold coins!?」
Straf says, letting Lily pick out five certificates from the stack.
「…Fuck it, give me two! I'll pay!」
A man says, squeezing through the crowd towards Straf.
「Two for three! Can we get five!?」
Straf says, letting the cafe owner pick out two certificates.
「Buddy are you fucking deaf? I said gold coins.」
Straf squats down on the crate and leans towards the man with a scowl on his face, when he notices he's trying to hand the elderly man golden drakes.
「What? But I thought-」
「Well you thought fucking wrong.」
The man stammers, and Straf doesn't wait to cut into his reply. Ashamed, the man pockets the drakes, reaches for his coin sack, and hands the cafe owner the gold coins. Straf clicks his tongue as he stands back up.
《Fucking cheapskate, how does he dare?》
Straf thinks, glaring at the proud owner of two Strafdrakes shares as he leaves back into the crowd.
「…Well, moving on. Can we get a five!?」
Straf asks again, and a large man in the crowd starts shifting his posture as he rubs his chin with a greatly troubled expression on his face.
「I'll buy 25! But it'll all be in gold coins in two days, is that alright!?」
Finally, the man raises his hand and shouts a question. Straf snorts, almost bursting out in laughter, but he manages to suppress it just in time.
「Khhhhah- Ooohhhh nooo, it shouldn't be a problem! If you have a large amount of gold coins, we'll take it! Drakes are more convenient, aren't they!?」
Straf grins at the crowd, spreading his arms for a moment, before lowering his hand and allowing Lily to pick out the certificates for later.
《Fucking sucker! What an absolute buffoon! What a dummy!》
Straf looks up to hide his trembling, amused grin from the crowd. Coincidentally, he looks straight at the balcony above. Cycelia energetically waves at him with a warm smile.
《Ahhh, he's such a great guy! I feel bad for overworking him like this… But he's just pushing himself into more work on his own with a smile! What can I doo? I'll just have to make sure he's properly relaxed at the beach!》
Cycelia keeps waving, with her other hand on her blushing lightly freckled face. Straf raises the stack of certificates at her in acknowledgment, and turns his head back at the crowd when he has his amused grin under control again.
「Ahem. I can't help but notice we are starting to run low on the certificates! I'm afraid I have to hike the price to make sure we can meet the demand! Can we get a…」
Straf glances sideways at the sky momentarily as he thinks.
「…Twenty five?」
He asks the crowd with a sly grin.
「What!? This is an outrage! I'll never make money off of this like that!」
A disgruntled man shouts. Straf grins at him, greatly amused.
「…Oh? Listen buddy, the going price is now twenty five. One guy here bought five for two. If you don't make a profit on this, I'm sorry to say, you're fucking stupid.」
Straf starts chuckling as he insults the man with a grin. The crowd gasps as they collectively come to a wide-eyed realization of the profit margins.
「…I'll buy two!」 「Give me five! I'll need two days!」 「Can I buy on a loan!?」
The circle around Straf shrinks. The crowd even ignores Lily's presence, who barely manages to keep her disdain veiled as the rabid crowd begins shouting over each other, and pushing amongst themselves.
「Woah, woah, woah! Slow the fuck down! I'm not going to say something ridiculous like we have enough for everyone, but don't start a riot here!」
Straf shouts at the crowd as a minor riot begins…