In the capital's dungeon, at the guard desk…
Nona enters, and descends down the first set of stairs to approach the Ministry guard at the desk. With a slow, hesitant step, she draws near, looking aside with a tight-lipped grimace.
「Heeey…」
She says, awkwardly looking aside down the second set of stairs, resting Straf's gift sledgehammer on her shoulder.
「Hey…」
The guard nonchalantly replies, sounding somewhat bored as he's propping his head up on the desk with a slanted mouth.
「Sooo… Have you heard anything about me from the court? Any summons?… Or an arrest order?…」
Nona asks, side-glancing at the guard from beneath the black brim of her cap.
「Nope. I guess the guy is scared shitless and decided against filing a report. Or he dropped dead… Well, he's probably afraid you'll arrest him if he files a report.」
The Ministry manhunter shrugs his shoulders, grimacing a little as he answers her.
「Wait, I can do that?」
Her head jumps up in surprise, and she furrows her brows.
「Heheh… I mean, you can try… But he can also resist arrest, you know? You could take some guys with you to do it again, but good luck getting someone to agree to that. I'd say you're already on pretty thin ice.」
The guard chuckles a little at Nona's unabashed audacity with a light grin.
「I see… I see. Thanks.」
Nona smiles a little, and nods her head as she heads down the stairs.
「Wait! Are you seriously going to use that hammer!? Isn't that too much!?」
He calls out towards Nona as she's descending towards the lower levels.
「Ahaha… Straf said I have to keep an eye on it at all times!」
She replies with an awkward grin, a light chuckle, and a tip of her cap…
…
In the dim warehouse, just before evening…
《Prototype crafting experience gained. New prototypes available.》
A monotone voice announces in Straf's mind. Sitting on the floor, he examines the small, handheld contraption with blades arranged in a small square, which fit into narrow gaps in its base when pressed shut.
The whole contraption has a strong resemblance to an odd garlic mincer, if it were mostly wood and two were joined to form a pair, side by side. The second half's base is entirely flat, and its moving part is attached by a hinge.
「Oookay. ID photo trimmer and glue vice two-in-one set done… And I really ought to stop making these strangely specific tools.」
Straf says, and gets up to his feet.
「…Would there be a market for paper guillotines here? Surely someone would want one, right?」
He thinks out loud, rubbing his chin with brows furrowed. He shrugs, and throws the ID photo trimmer and glue vice two-in-one set into his [Portable Storage].
「Right… Uniforms next… Craft.」
Straf utters out, and the crafting screen appears before him. He looks at the search bar.
「Peaked cap.」
He utters out, and a few items on the list appear. He taps the same that he made for Nona.
「Riiiiiiight… Let's just make like a hundred for starters. If I have spares, there's always room to grow…」
Straf thinks out loud, and holds the [+] button next to [Craft multiple]. When the counter reaches 100, he taps the button with his finger.
「…Wait, how are they going to-」
Straf realizes that the hats are in fact physical objects, just after they appear in front of him. Each of them glowing with a golden light, presenting only their silhouettes, and all of them arranged in a large cube in mid air, spaced out just enough to not collide with each other.
「…Yeah, I figured.」
Straf says with a tight-lipped grimace and fists on his hips, watching the hats hang in the air.
Twaptwaptwaptfaptwaptwaptwaptwaptwaptwap!…
The glow subsides, and the hats begin dropping out of the air, landing on each other in a large pile.
Twaptwaptwap… Twap.
The last of the hats slide off the pile and noisily land on the floor. Straf lets out a large sigh, and looks at the huge pile in silence for a few seconds, grimacing heavily.
「Well, whatever.」
He shrugs, and opens [Portable Storage] beside him. The hats begin rapidly flying into the swirling vortex as he flicks them towards it. A few moments later, the last of the hats enters the whirl, and it closes.
「But I wonder if?…」
Straf rubs his chin, looking around the warehouse. He walks up to a random crate, and checks if its empty. Peeling its lid away a little, he glances inside. A satisfied smirk appears on his face, and he takes the empty crate into hands, effortlessly lifting it.
「I guess I should test it away from vital machinery of state importance.」
He shrugs again, and walks with the crate between whole stacks of them, away from the line of sight to the drake printer. He holds the crate up in his hands in front of himself, and looks at the search bar.
「Ball.」
He utters out, and a selection of various balls appears in the list, though most of them are marked as missing materials right away.
「…Right, how do I-? I guess I can just do this…」
Straf thinks out loud, looking at the large crate in his hands, that he has no choice but to hold with the both of them. He activates [Contextual Time Perception], and taps a wooden, hand-sized ball on the list. He moves his finger to [+] near the crafting button, and holds it.
The crate remains frozen in place despite him releasing his grasp on it, owing to the time flowing significantly slower than real time. When satisfied with the number on the counter, the taps [Craft multiple]. Time resumes its normal flow.
「Heh, I knew it!」
He exclaims with a smug grin on his face, seeing absolutely no glowing spheres in front of himself as he's holding the large crate. His brows rise, and his lips tighten.
「Wait, I shouldn't be standing here.」
Straf declares with an urgent tone and lets go of the crate, rushing away towards the drake printer. The crate hovers fixed in mid air, doing its best to obey the laws of gravity, but something from within it obstructs it, and it hangs on its lid.
The locked latch on the crate disallows the lid to open, and the whole crate simply appears as if were seated on something invisible.
「…Is that it? It just bugs out a litt-?」
Straf says with his brows furrowed, leaning a little to try and catch a glimpse of the hovering crate.
CRRACKCRASHKKRKCRACK!!-
Just a mere moment later, a horrible, deafening noise of shattering wood echoes off the warehouse walls, and splinters are sent flying everywhere. Malformed wooden balls impact the brick walls, gouging a large chunk of the bricks out, and then shattering to a wood pulp.
CrackBANGcrack! Thunk! Thunkthunkthunkkkrk!…
More wood shatters, and the crates stacked near the source of the mayhem crash onto the ground. Some of the wooden balls weakly bounce off the bricks and the crates, shattering their planks and lightly bouncing onto the ground.
Some of the less malformed, palm-sized balls roll ominously towards Straf, as if they, themselves, were serving as the harbingers of the chaos that just unfolded.
「…Okay. That's more like what I expected.」
Straf nods, rubbing his chin as he looks at the collapsed crates and the rolling balls on the ground.
「Well… My curiosity is satisfied, but I can't think of a way to use this. Grenades are more compact, anyway…」
He shrugs with his hands, and lets out a lightly amused snort out of his nose.
「Craft… Riiiight, the sizes…」
He re-opens the crafting screen, and rubs his chin again as he looks at it.
「…I guess I can make a few for the normal-sized guys, a few for the tall ones, and a couple for the big and bulky ones.」
Straf nods, thinking out loud, furrowing his brows.
「…And none for the fatties, fuck 'em.」
Placing his fists on his hips as he looks at the screen, Straf scoffs with a grin on his face. His eyes turn to the search bar once more.
「Jacket…」
A list of jackets appears on the screen, and he selects the one he made for Nona. He holds the [+] button, and watches the number increment on the counter…
…
A few minutes later, in the evening…
Straf throws the last of the stylish, dark-colored pants into his [Portable Storage].
「Okay. That does it for the uniforms… Now I need to produce the badges and wallets… Ahhh… I need an animal-eared slave, this sucks.」
Groaning and grumbling, Straf sighs.
「Craft… Wallet…」
With his fists on his hips and his mouth aslant, he opens the crafting screen again, and searches for the wallet. He taps the exact same one as he gave to Nona, and repeats the process…
…
About an hour of tedious manual labor later…
Straf pins the last golden badge into the wallet, and throws it into his [Portable Storage]. He lets out a large, fatigued sigh, and stands up from the floor.
「I can't believe I wasted an entire day on outfitting a hundred-some guys with fucking clothes and badges… Do I seriously have to start an industrial revolution just to get some uniforms?」
Shaking his head, Straf grumbles as he places his hands in his pockets, and walks to the exit. He takes a few wide steps over the scattered balls and crate debris.
「Man, someone ought to clean up here…」
He remarks as he leaves through the door, looking at the huge pile of wrecked crates and random wooden fragments…
…
In the late evening, at the palace entrance hallway…
Straf casually enters the palace with his hands in his pockets. Just as he crosses the corner, Sir Vinis jumps out of his way, almost walking into him.
「'scuse me…」
Straf says in a loud voice, and carries on without even as much as glancing at him.
「Minister Vindict! Perfect timing! Could I have a second of your-?」
Sir Vinis calls out towards Straf, still standing by the corner.
「Hooooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…」
Walking away and keeping his hands in his pockets, Straf yawns loudly over his words.
「Minister Vindict!… Minister Vindict!」
Growing audibly more indignant each time, Sir Vinis calls out again, and again. Frustrated that he is being ignored, he rushes to catch up to Straf.
「Minister Vindict!」
Sir Vinis exclaims one more time, walking in front of Straf, practically making himself impossible to ignore any longer. Straf rolls his eyes with a tight-lipped grimace.
「Ah, you. Good mornin'.」
「…But it's evening-」
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Without even glancing at him, Straf shoots Sir Vinis a quick, flat, and for the time of the day, anachronistic greeting. The outlandish greeting makes the newly-elected ruler's eyes narrow in great confusion, and he shakes his head a little.
「Never mind that! Minister Vindict, I have an urgent economic matter to discuss!」
Sir Vinis jumps in Straf's way, completely obstructing him, flapping a piece of paper in his hand as he points his other hand at it.
「Wow, really? Can this wait until next week?」
Straf asks with a sarcastic tone, heavily scrunching the corners of his mouth as his face gains a sardonic, tight-lipped grimace. He makes a step to the side to go around Sir Vinis, but he jumps right back in his way.
「No, it cannot. It's an urgent matter that requires your immediate attention as the Minister of Finances. I thought the queen informed you of this?」
He asks, spreading his hands with his brows furrowed in confusion.
「She did? I must have forgot, whoops.」
Straf rolls his eyes again, avoiding the paper with his gaze as much as possible.
「Minister! I calculated some things, and as it turns out we are in a deep hole, financially speaking! Take a look!」
「Do I have to?…」
Straf asks as the paper is almost physically shoved in his face. He sighs, and takes it into his hand, skimming through it.
「Tsk… And?」
Straf asks, looking up from the paper at Sir Vinis.
「Wha-? What do you mean, and? Do you not see the balance between the gold on-hand, and expenditures!? Not to mention the drakes issued!」
Sir Vinis points his finger at the numbers largely in the negatives, leaning a little to get a better look at the paper in Straf's hand. Straf remains unimpressed, and he looks at Sir Vinis with a bored, slightly annoyed gaze.
「So?」
「So?- So!?」
Sir Vinis stammers, shocked at Straf's complete lack of care for the looming economic disaster.
「So the kingdom is going to run out of gold in two months' time! And that's if nobody decides to redeem the golden drakes! We are practically already in debt, but nobody knows it y-! Mpfm!」
Thud. Bom!
Straf muffles the long-haired man's mouth with his free hand, shoving his back towards the wall, and slams the hand holding the paper against it, effectively caging Sir Vinis within his arms. He looks at Straf with wide-open eyes full of shock.
「The economy is strong, and we're doing great. Stop calling drakes debt, they're obligations. And that being said, you are obliged to keep this a dirty little secret between us, because if someone finds out, there will be a-」
Clanklanklanklank!…
A loud, metallic clatter rings out from the side. Straf and Sir Vinis turn their gazes towards it, and there, a shocked maid is covering her mouth with her hand.
《Now men!? Are little girls are not enough for this pervert anymore!?》
She thinks, as the silver tray she dropped wobbles away on the floor. Realizing she just heard something that she wasn't meant to, she quickly scoops the tray back up and flees skittering away.
Straf sighs, and lets go of Sir Vinis, pulling away from the wall.
Clap clap clap clap clap.
「Great. Well done. Congratulations. She heard you, and now she'll blab to everyone that there isn't enough money for the drakes. Now the kingdom's economy will collapse from a bank run, and it's your fault.」
Straf sarcastically congratulates Sir Vinis, slowly clapping a few times, before returning his hands to his hips with an annoyed, tight-lipped grimace on his face.
「Wha-? How is that my fault!? The economy is a mess-!」
「Yeah, well, blame the government Lia and I voted out.」
Straf scoffs, shrugging his shoulders. Sir Vinis lets out a large sigh, rubbing his brows with his thumb and finger.
「Minister… There is no guarantee she'll tell anyone. Let's just hope for the best and-」
「Oh, so now you're dovish? That was quick.」
Straf scoffs, shaking his head with a disdainful smirk. Sir Vinis furrows his freshly-rubbed brows in confusion.
「What?… Minister, are you well?-」
He asks, shrugging with his hand as he narrows his eyes.
「Listen, what do you want me to do? Wave a magic wand, and get more gold into the bank? I already am doing that. I am milking the citizens dry of their gold, and giving them worthless fucking papers, so they won't notice the real money is scarce.」
Cutting in, Straf angrily explains, spreading his arms.
「What?… You are?…」
Straf returns his hands as fists on his hips. His words come as news to Sir Vinis, and he appears a little taken aback as he gently shakes his head in confusion.
「Yeah, I am. Otherwise, we'd be unable to pay for the basics months ago. You should know pretty damn fucking well those gold mines aren't going to give us any tangible help with the economy for at least another month. What the fuck else do you want me to do?」
Straf irately elaborates, then asks, once again spreading his arms.
「I- Well… It seems like I owe you an apology, minister-」
「Yeah you fuckin' do.」
Straf interjects, energetically nodding his head with a tight-lipped grimace and his fists on his hips. Sir Vinis grimaces a little from Straf's rudeness, but collects himself.
「…That would explain the large, inexplicable inflows with no drakes being sold. That was your doing, then… I was convinced that you were simply doing whatever you please on the crown's budget.」
Sir Vinis explains, looking almost apologetic with a nervous gaze.
「Tsk. The crown is doing as she pleases on my budget. And that's fine, my harem members deserve all the best, but oh fucking boy is it hard to keep it all funded. Lia's father didn't exactly teach her fiscal responsibility.」
Straf spitefully clicks his tongue, glaring at the shrinking Sir Vinis with a sneer.
「I- Well… Could I ask you to at least take a look at the budget, and explain the discrepancies? As money much as there is flowing in, there's money flowing out at a rapid pace. We are essentially bleeding gold, and I don't know where to.」
Sir Vinis says, practically begging Straf for a moment of his time. Straf reluctantly looks at the paper with a greatly, displeased face. Almost exaggeratedly so.
「How much is missing, exactly?」
Straf asks, reading through the line, after line, after line of numbers and calculations.
「It amounts to roughly 500 gold.」
「500 gold a month, huh?-」
「A week.」
Sir Vinis quickly corrects Straf, causing him to visibly cringe with his eyes forced shut. He reopens them, and searches for the magic deficit number.
「Hm… 500 a week, that would be- Hurk.」
Straf thinks for a second, gazing aside. He grunts with a tight-lipped expression, when he realizes what it may be.
「Minister? Have you figured it out?」
Sir Vinis asks, looking at Straf's poor poker face.
《The fucking taskmen…》
「Yeah, it's military spending. Very, very vital. Guess my hands are tied here, huh? You'll have to figure something out on your own.」
Straf says, forcing the budget report back into the hands of Sir Vinis, and starts walking away with his own hands in his pockets.
「Wait! Military spending on what? Our whole army doesn't cost that much during wartime!」
Sir Vinis asks as he follows Straf like a shadow. He stops, and rubs his chin for a long moment, glancing at Sir Vinis over his shoulder every few seconds.
「Uhhh… Rations. And maintenance.」
Straf replies, carefully looking at Sir Vinis to see if he bought the answer.
「Ra-? What? What could possibly cost 500 gold a week? Are the soldiers eating dragon egg omelets!?」
Sir Vinis spreads his arms in disbelief.
「Hey, a man's gotta eat. Just do some financial magic to keep the kingdom afloat, until the gold mines start their deliveries again.」
Straf nonchalantly shrugs, and takes another step. Sir Vinis catches him by the shirt with his fingers, causing Straf to look over his shoulder with an annoyed, tight-lipped grimace at him.
「What?」
Straf asks in a frustrated tone.
「There's one more thing… I was convinced that it was a joke when they told me this, but…」
Sir Vinis says, struggling to restrain laughter with a ridiculing grin.
「…Earlier today, rat cages were delivered to the military warehouse.」
He adds, shrugging his hand as he fails to keep some of the chuckling in.
「…You mean, cages for rats?」
「No. I mean rats… In cages. Something to do with the law you signed as a Minister of War-」
Sir Vinis clarifies in response to the question, and Straf interrupts him by snapping his fingers.
「Nice. Tell the soldiers from the local area to show up in front of the gates on the first bell. Have them lay the rat cages out somewhere out there, with enough space to walk between them.」
Straf instructs Sir Vinis, pointing a finger at his face.
「What? Why? Why the rat cages, and why-?」
Sir Vinis asks, somewhat fatigued from the incessant confusion Straf causes him every few moments. Exasperated, he gives up and sighs with his palm on his face.
「You know what, minister? Forget it. I don't want to know. I will send someone to order that done.」
He lets out another, large, resigned sigh.
「If only I knew how bad the kingdom's situation was…」
Sir Vinis remarks, pinching the bridge of his nose.
「Yeah, running a country ain't so easy, is it? Buyer, beware.」
With a snide grin, Straf scoffs, and walks off in the direction of the stairs up…