第四十二回：無需解奉先何神聖，神風降臨天意駭鴨
"... so, would you mind explaining who IS Lu Bu?"
"Tsk, tsk! Zoomers don't know about the legend of Lu Bu?!"
"No, but I would like to be enlightened, so I can prevent you from going off like that again."
Its no wonder that Oracion is utterly bewildered how Madi-san's vertical cliff jumping allowed her to destroy an entire forward camp. Much less why she is claiming to be "the mightiest warrior in all of the Three Kingdoms". (the madwoman's words, not mine!) Isn't this Skxrim?
"You explain, Aya-chan!"
I'm just as utterly bewildered here!
"In YOUR language, Lu Bu is the 「Takadatsu Honda」 of the Three Kingdoms! The strongest, no contest! Do not pursue!"
『Tadakatsu』! Its 『Tadakatsu』 des! [1] Don't bring up the name of historical figures and then get them wrong, you Frxnchwoman! I'm definitely more of a 『Yukimura』 girl, but I get it now. Essentially, Lu Bu is just a name for the strongest warrior in the land... right? Its a title, like Dragonocider Girl.
"WRONG! Lu Bu exists! Lu Bu is a real person! Next you'll be telling me that 「Hxnda」 is the name of a brand!"
But it IS... Arrrgh...!!! How am I supposed to explain the five hundred year old concept of cars to a New Continenter?!
"... is it like how everyone looks up to the name [Satella Starlight] [2] back home?"
"See, Piinku gets it!"
Oracion, you sure are taking this in much better stride than me! What's [Miss Starlight] got to do with this? Our demure, soft and coffee-loving [Miss Starlight] bears no resemblance to the bloodthirsty [Satella Starlight] of Vespana's founders, even if they have the same name!
"A name, means something."
"Hmm hmm! Of course you would know, Piinku! You are named after a famous person too, so you know!"
Oracion is...? Who are you supposed to be named after? Some jobber group that appears in a half-ecchi fairy tale manga about magical guilds? Ow! Hey! That hurt!
Rubbing the back of my head where Madi-san smacked me, the rattled pieces of the puzzle manage to mismatchedly fit together in my mind. Glaring at her smug, satisfied face, I can gather a few things now:
Madi-san is parading around Lu Bu's name.
The reason she does so is to strike fear into her enemies.
Obviously, she is (not) Lu Bu.
... right?
But you can't strike fear into someone unless they know that specific name...
How do the people here in Skxrim know who is Lu Bu...?
You can't just handwave it away with 'its magick'!
If this is a visual novel, this is a central plot element!
How does Lu Bu, the strongest warrior in all of the three kingdoms...
Three...
...
... kingdoms...?
No... way.
Three kingdoms...
Wherever this Lu Bu came from, there are three kingdoms.
Three kingdoms of 【Rei Ditu】, 【Tui Tie】 and 【Dusi Kuodo】...
How long ago have you since realized this.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
Answer me, Madi-san!
When was the first time you realized that this Lu Bu exists?!
Don't just 'ehehehe' there on your own!
Arrrgh!!!
Where ARE we, Madi-san?!
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As I am shaking Madi-san's shoulders, a tap comes from the side of our stationary chariot. A figure draped in tattered black robes raps the side of our carriage once. Her robes hides most of her face, though her raised hood is unable to conceal the pair of furred animal ears that protrude from underneath.
"【Lord Pu'yengman】, those of us who will follow you are rested."
Leaning over chariot, Oracion rubs the side of her head, not having expected that the mountainside refugees would split off into two groups earlier; the larger group wanted to continue hiding with Yang Shi and seek a chance for return to 【Xu Province】, while the five hundred or so decided to head into 【Yan Province】 with their our local do-gooder.
"See! That's what happens when you are a moralhag! You get useless clinger-ons who slow us down! We would have been halfway back to Daju's place by now if it weren't for you lot!"
... and on the other spectrum you have Madi-san, the very pinnacle of immorality. How can you chase off people who have come to us earnestly seeking help?! At the very least, let Daju decide what to do with them! Besides, Daju would surely like to hear news that her long-lost friend has resurfaced...
"I'm sure that Daju would like to hear directly from you all... what happened in 【Xu】."
"Yeah, what was up with all the smoke columns anyway?! Moi' could see them all the way from the summit!"
The hooded figure doesn't answer immediately, she pulls the hood tighter down her face. Whereupon she mutters a single word.
"Braziers."
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The plan was made such that 【there were no gaps in heaven's weave】[3].
Our camera cuts to 【Ji City's】governmental mansion. Continually emitting white smoke, the brazier had been working overtime for the two girls in funny hats. They weave and pace through the smoke-filled room, occasionally glancing at an altared wheel.
On the oversized carriage wheel propped up in front of the room, seven candles are lit. Placed in ceremonial copper basin plates, they are hung on ropes tied to the extremities of this wheel. At the very center where all axles meet, a larger copper basin lit with a candle made of red wax burns, half-melted into a puddle from all the waiting.
This is the 【Seven-Star Divination Lantern】, used to extend lifespans and divine one's remaining life essence. Having locked this wheel of fate squarely on Daju using loose locks of her orange hair, the two strategists hoped to divine the 【Taisho's】death while waiting for word to come back from their informants inside the city.
This was strange.
Their insider should have been back a long time ago. It was late in the shichen, enough so that the hateful Red Hare Loft should have closed its doors and served its last drinks by now. Yet, nothing. The central candle burned still, with no intention of going out.
[SFX: hwoooooo!!!]
At this moment, a sudden gust of wind blew!
Extinguishing the lantern in the middle!
"There! The 【Seven-Star Divination Lantern】does not lie! Heaven does not lie!"
"Once again, the 【Zhi Hu】was right! The orange-furred rebel's death... was destined!"
Having waited successful for the result of their schemes, the two ridiculous schemers make odd dance-like moves as they twist and twirl their body towards the brazier, then unexpectedly and in complete sync...
[SFX:HUUUUUFFFF]
[SFX:SNNNIFFFFFFF]
... they take a large huff of the white smoke through their nostrils!
Cheng was even more ridiculous in her inhalation, using both palms to continually waft the smoke into her face, as if afraid of missing out even a wisp!
... even closed-eyed and cross-armed on our chariot, your narrator has to raise an eyebrow for this one!
Your narrator does not wish to imagine the flatulence these two freakos are enjoying, so let's leave them to soak in their moment of victory.
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Instead, let us turn our attention to the last of this scheming trio, Tu Shubei.
Perched in a private room on one leg, the elder fat duck sleeps with its head tilted backwards. No guilty conscious bothers it, for it knows that when it wakes up, the good news that the hated Daju was dead would reach its ears, whereupon it would clap and quack while dancing with Xun and Cheng in a circle.
Such were the kind of dreams that ducks have when they sleep.
Mr. Bones, I would like off this wild ride.
Can we have some good old normal evil around here?
Even Madi-san's immorality is sane compared to whatever goes through these clown's heads!
The late summer winds finally reach Shubei's room, rapping on the paper windows from outside!
"Hmm?! Guark?! Who is there?!"
Even though it had both eyes closed, this duck was incredibly alert still! 『sasuga』of a duckman, even the sleeping habits of a duck are replicated! For those who haven't grown up in a small fishing village like your narrator, ducks can literally turn off half their brain while sleeping, sometimes with one eye open! This lets them be alert of unwanted visitors in the night, just like now!
Even roosted well with its feathers under a thick blanket, a chill wind still permeates the room!
[SFX: FLASH!!!]
[SFX: DOOOM!!!]
Dark lightning flashes outside its room, causing the senior duck to fall backwards on its bum! The accompanying thunderclap resounds through the room, jade antiquities rattle and shake, falling from their display shelves onto the floor!
"This duck's porcelain tiger!"
There was no time to mourn the loss of the milky white tiger now broken in half, for Tu Shubei's attention was drawn to the something being drawn in shadow on the paper windows!
Ten digits morph in shadow,
an elongated mass blots out the light,
flitting from window's end to the other,
a ferocious upper jaw moves,
ryuu's whiskers curling in a snarl!
"Fooooolish duck, you have violated heaven's laws!
Are yoooooou ready to receive yoooooour punishment?!"
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NEXT: Heavens Will Be Damned Just Hand Over The Antidote, If You Get Into Trouble Tiengong Will Assist You!
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Terminology
[1]『Tadakatsu』- 『本多 忠勝』, a famous samurai during the 『sengoku jidai period』. Known for his bravery serving under Tokugawa Ieyasu, was said to have never been wounded in battle... ... He wasn't a proponent of DEXXMaxxing, not that I know of!
[2] [Satella Starlight] - One of the founders of Vespana, the world we came from. Famed for extreme horse-riding skills and the ability to wield a pair of shotguns even while charging on a horse. How that works, I don't know! Not related to a certain Miss Starlight we know, I'm sure! They just coincidentally share the same name!
[3] 【there were no gaps in heaven's weave】 - 【天衣無縫】, the clothing here is metaphorical, it means that something has been so meticulously planned that you cannot find any flaws in it.