第二十七回：對舌懟嚰鼠輩搶座，牛將出腳站贏小越
The elderly duck with white eyebrows did not look like good news. Who did it think it was anyway, cutting the queue like that? Be a little more civilized! Just because everyone is queuing on one side doesn't mean you can go on the opposite end and proclaim yourself to be first in line!
... and what's with your minion? She looks like she walked straight out of a space opera, tight latex leotard and all. What's the matter? Clothing store ran out of robes so you had to stick a 『mizugi』 [1] on her?
"Elder Tu, your visit is most... unexpected."
Daju is the first to react, having anticipated this trouble far beforehand. She stops the fat duck from moving into the main dance floor by conveniently stepping into its path at the reception area. Silently, she dismisses Zhangji to keep watch outside.
There... might be more trouble outside?
"This duck... came to see what you all are up to!"
Already, I don't like this duck and what it is implying. Its 'I-cannot-be-wrong' and 'holier-than-thou' attitude remind me of the fat magistrate Madi-san and I had the misfortune to meet at our journey's start. They can't be related, can they?
"Its not much, we are merely selling some arts and spreading some joy in these turbulent times."
"Even a lowly courtesan can buy her way into being 【taisho】now! Truly, Stability is unpredictable!
Uh oh. That one definitely ticked Daju off. Orange catears are risibly twitching, she looks up from her half bow to square the offensive duck in the eyes for the first time.
"We all do what we can to survive. Stability doesn't guarantee if we eat tomorrow."
"That's right, guark! Know who your 【Betters】[2] are! You will live longer!"
"Knowing friend from foe is an important skill, having lived so long, I am grateful for this advice."
From Scrum Duckdo's point of view, it probably cannot see Daju's face, since her lower face is obscured by her clasping hands. From my angle at the side, Daju's 【Smile Hides Daggers Within】[3], her eyes narrowing with every verbal riposte until they are now almost fully closed.
"Humph!" The elderly duck, not being able to gain an advantage flaps its robe sleeves. "Be careful you don't become a treasonous 【Hereticate】yourself!"
"... ... I don't know what that means. We are all 【Hereticates】, this far out at the border."
Daju beams, tilting her head with her eyes closed.
I have no idea what the fat duck means either. One of the guests in my circle lean over to whisper the same question, to which I can only shrug and go "Ahoeh?"
"Don't think that the Duck Clan cannot see through your intentions!"
"My 【heart is out on the streets for all to see】. [4]"
Old Macducck had enough with the niceties and promptly dispensed of them;
"You have killed a ryuu!"
The duck wags an accusatory feather at Daju.
"Killing a monstrous beast isn't a crime. We need more people who can stand up to the ryuu of 【Rei Ditu】 and 【Tui Tie】."
There was no problem with that statement. Indeed, Stability is predicated on the three kingdoms being of equal and opposing forces. Right now, that was a sentence that radiated with positive energy!
But at the same time...
Who is not to say that the same power cannot be turned on the dragons of 【Dusi Kuodo】?
The duck on the other side senses this all too well...
"Don't get too ahead of yourself...! This duck can sack your entire loft and not feel a thing about it tomorrow!"
Moving closer and closer, it jabs the top of Daju's chest, while leaning close menacingly. Daju is not backing off, but this confrontation is starting to discomfit the other guests at the club. Some are grabbing their silk pouches, intent on leaving.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Alright, that pissed me off as well.
"Oi, 『井の中の蛙』![5] If you are going to talk about killing dragons,
why don't you take it up with the Dragonocider Girl herself?"
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Ah.
Ahhhhhh...!!!
I've gone and done it now!
That wasn't me! That was [Reckless Ayaya]!
[SFX: HWAAAAAAAAA]
Thank for the sound effect all you guys, but that's not stopping white-brows here from pushing Daju aside with a wing and waddling angrily towards me and my circle of guests!
With her off-hand, Ayano motions for her guys to help Daju up behind the approaching duck.
"What did you say to this duck?! Repeat what you said!"
It stretches out its long looooong neck for all to see; woah, I didn't know that ducks could do that. If that's an intimidation technique, its not very impressive. All I can imagine is Madame Gulliotine crossing her flexed arms with one hand over her eye while making a chopping motion perpendicular to its neck!
"What? Can't hear 『kanji』all of a sudden? I said, you are a frog in a well, you uncivilized fowl."
Ayaya must have tread on some sort of cross-cultural no-no there, trying to insult one animal with another animal! In any case, it was a super effective hit on its SAN. Either that, or it couldn't take the small giggling that was sprouting up among the circle of guests I was befriending.
"... and the next thing you are going to say, is that you want me to kowtow one thousand times." [Reckless Ayaya] says, not giving the duck the time of day.
[SFX: HWAAAAAAAAA]
Ah, it was finally time for this move. [She Stole My Damn Lines!] doesn't always hit, but when it does, it always hits for MAXIMUM damage. If you know the flow of menne well enough, you can easily predict the next line of attack. Are you learning something, Ayano? See that fat duck trembling with its bill agape, wing raised in mid-air? That's how you know you [Gottem']!
"Did your mother never teach you to 【Respect the Elders and Love the Children】???"
See, Ducky McDucksface, the difference between you and (me) is that I've hung out in the conspiracy-chasing circles long enough to know that the technique you are using now is called [Morality Blackmail]. Something something about how I am a bad person because I don't follow your morality. By trying to tie my actions to my non-existent mother, you're trying to make me ashamed of my thoughts and deeds. There's only two problems:
One, you deserve it, duckface.
Two,
"Yours never taught you that loving children doesn't involving touching."
[SFX: HWAAAAAAAAA]
[Reckless Ayaya] brushes the senile grip on her little shoulders away like swatting a fly. Its a double pun! A double pun! You didn't think of it! But 『私』 did! Am I really that far off the mark though? You laugh, but anasaphilia is a very real...
"Give me a seat. I'll teach this Ya-Zi some manners...!"
"Go 'take a seat' outside, poultry-groomer."
Its quacking majesty would not take this (true) insult gracefully; it roughly tries to shove the smallest member of the little circle of gals around me off her seat, quacking in wagging tongues I cannot understand while covering the top of her mouth. Even worse, it had started to use its knobbly walking stick to part her legs! It threshes the stick around like an incompetent navigator trying to tack a ship by turning the wheel left and right multiple times!
That definitely crosses a line somewhere.
Just as Ayano was about to reach for her paper fan hung on her side...
A single murderous thigh wearing a red-plated shin-guard cuts between the duck's tiny stick, blocking its further 「seggso harrasso」!
"Zzz...
... have some self-respect, Shubei."
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Out of nowhere, Ou Nygai has raised a single foot in our defense. Standing unmovably still on one leg while blocking the duckstick, Tu Shubei staggers backwards, completely shocked.
"Even the 【General Who Pacifies Southern Rebels】is here...?!"
"The former 【General Who Pacifies Southern Rebels】 now." Ou Nygai corrects the duck, not moving from her sleepy, arms folded stance.
"Guark... GUARK!
Rebels, 【Hereticates】 and runaways all under one roof!
Don't think this will not be reported to the Central Raft!"
"Please do... zzzz....
... but please remove, yourself, first."
Ou Nygai motions ever so slightly with the fingers of her crossed arm, only withdrawing her foot when the duck had startled backwards in scared horror.
"Fuyi! Where is the GUARKING slave Fuyi! Assist this duck! Assist this duck now!"
The red-haired girl who had been accompanying the duck did not bother partaking in this whole mess, instead making a beeline straight for the bar where she sat out the whole confrontation in wide-eyed wonder at the selection of differently colored bottles.
Upon hearing the call, she hops off the barstool, brightly holding up sticks of flavored ice in reed packets;
"Look! These are only nine copper each...!"
"Do I look like I GUARKING care?!"
The duck whose anger has turned into senility smacks the juicesticks away with its little rod, displeased with the little one's playful demeanor.
Nobody else noticed it, but I did.
That circlet encrusted with that rusty green gem around the red-haired's neck...
... shocked her slightly.
"Owowoww! Scary!"
Instantly, her demeanor changed.
"You! You must be an undesirable as well!"
Fuyi points at the towering Ou Nygai, who is gesturing with her head for her to take the fight outside with her eyes closed. Even in that lazily constructed stance, there are no openings to take advantage of. The much larger Ou Nygai could easily have lunged a kick at the ducks now cowering outsized behind Fuyi the moment she chooses to move.
If the red-haired one did not prioritize 『seigida!』, a fight would have broken out there and then!
Instead, an uneasy deadlock forms between the two, knowing that whoever moves first loses.
"Ou Nygai, why are you here...? You have to watch the streets!"
Daju had just caught up, one hand grabbing onto Ou Nygai's shoulder, urging her to get back to her post.
"Situation... changed."
Daju's anxiety is clearly getting to her head now, her meticulously planned script was going off-track, fast. She had hoped for the duck to have been stopped and rebuffed at the reception area, quietly ending this incident. The stand-off is gathering more on-lookers, but if a duel actually broke out in the club now, it would spell disaster for opening night...!
What's more, there's no way that this tiny entourage is all that the duck brought! Realizing that Ou Nygai had left her post wide open...
Tu Shubei claps its wings together before itself,
"Guark! You will rue this day,
the day when you insulted the grand patriarch of the Duck Clan!
【lairen】!
Turn this place upside-down!"
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NEXT: The Red Hare Loft Is A Loft Among Lofts, Queuecutting Is Rude And Disrepectful!
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TERMINOLOGY
[2] 【Betters】 - 【精英】 , refers to those who pretend to have a higher social status because they all attend the same schools, eat the same food, believe the same... you get the idea.
[3] 【Smile Hides Daggers Within】 - 【笑裡藏刀】 , even when you are smiling, you can still hide ill-will towards the person before you. Hence, the smile that hides daggers that you would stab an annoying duck with.
[4] 【Heart Is Out On The Streets For All To See】 - 【大橘之心，路人皆知】, a riff on 【司马懿之心，路人皆知】, where an ancient politician called Sima Yi had such obvious intents to overthrow the Wei dynasty that even the ordinary people on the streets know about his intentions.
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[1] 『mizugi』 - 『水着 』 , a one-piece swimming attire. The most famous kind is a simple blue one worn by high-school girls in my anime and manga!
[5] 『井の中の蛙』 - Literally "the frog in the well does not know the vastness of the sea". Hmm? What do you mean that you already know this one?!