第二十六回：開壇擺香取赤兔樓，氓鴨闖隊非老亦壞
Zhangji, Ying-onee and (me) made it back to 【Pu'yeng】 by the glow of the setting sun. there were a lot more people milling about the city than usual, many dressed in fine robes and eyes full of glittering excitement. Even before the gates were set set to open, a small crowd had already gathered outside the bunnygirl club.
"What do you all think?"
"Argh..."
She really did it, that orange tabby.
Hung over the the entrance of the bunnygirl club is a medium-sized replica of a dragon's skull. I'm amazed at how quickly she had this made, but even I can tell its a replica from the very obvious screws that fit on the sides of its jaw.
"【Taisho】, did you really hunt a ryuu?"
"Is that a real ryuu?"
Questions like that pipe up from the non-NPC side of the crowd, which Daju settles by beckoning me over...
"Not me, but the real Dragonocider Girl... is here!"
[SFX: HWAAA] [1]
Daju raises my arm up high by the wrist, which makes me want to hide my face in embarrassment.
"Its true, its true! She alone felled a ryuu in oooone blow!"
Ying-onee raises my other arm up high by the wrist as well, which makes me suddenly have empathy for housecats who are carried by their owner this way. I'm dangling a quarter of a chi off the ground already, guys, please, gently, please!
[SFX: HWAAAAAAAAA]
Also, Ying-onee, you know that's not true! You were there the whole way! You know that both you and Annalie double-teamed it first...
"Big hero, say something to your adoring audience---" Daju whispers in my ear, nudging me a little.
"Ah. Ahh... All I really did was run up the dragon's back... and smashed its eyes with a rock. Annalie and Ying-onee here did most..."
[SFX: HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]
The crowd's HWAAAAAAAAAs drowned out the rest of my sentence. I'm sure that if you clipped me out of context, I would have seemed like I was humble bragging about being able to take out a dragon with just a rock! My intention was NOT that! I was going to give credit to the ones who actually did the work!
"Now, now, everyone. The loft will open in a few hours. You'll all get to meet the Dragonicider Girl yourselves, only here at 【Pu'yeng's】 bunnygirl club! Until then, why not have a drink at our fine teahouse around the corner? The second cup onwards is half-off today~"
Ever the shrewd copportunist, Daju easily eases the crowd away while still taking the chance to make copper over fist.
"Legend-building is good for morale." Zhangji approves noddingly.
"『yamero』, I'm not sure if I can perform another miracle like that again..."
"Even if you can't, sister Ayano, we'll all be here to support you." Daju slaps the small of my back which causes me to lurch and straighten up involuntarily. T-thanks, Daju? "Did you learn anything about the ryuu's bestowment from your Daoist friends?
"【Yu Taisho】, our 【Great Benefactor】 is inclined towards being a 【Strategist】."
"I see... That's not outside of expectations at all. Sister Ayano is very devious and cunning."
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
I can't tell if Daju is praising me or not, the way the top of her face suddenly went dark with a knowing smile! Y-you too, Daju!
"Speaking oooof legends...
... I like the name."
Ying-onee points to the large rectangular sign hung vertically on the second floor's side. Made up of three 『kanji』 I can read for once, it is a pretty clever sign. I guess Ying-onee and Daju aren't on that bad terms if Daju is willing to name the club after its red bunnysuit-wearing center girl.
"I'm quite surprised that you two can see the double-meaning hidden within."
"Its not hard to see, 【Yu Taisho】. The name is like a beacon for anyone in the know."
"Gishishishi, was it that obvious? I suppose even Sister Madison can see it too."
Ah?
I am completely out of the loop as Daju ushers us into the club. Am I missing something? Or does...
【赤兔樓】
(Red Hare Loft)
... mean something special...?
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"We should expect trouble in 【Pu'yeng】 tonight."
The moment we are within the comfort of the club, Daju casually drops that foreboding line.
Gulp.
Of course, things never go smoothly in isekai. That's a given!
"The 【Forward Scouts】 spotted an uninvited duck and its train passing in 【Yan Province】."
"That poisonous duck family..." For the first time, the mild-mannered Zhangji tenses up in trembling anger, revealing rows of sharp teeth.
"Ahahaha, is it someone we know? Maybe they're just coming to have a look-see at the bunnygirls!"
Daju smiles at that loose thought, stopping at a small wooden altar the same height as her. Placed at a prominent location near the right side of the doorway, it is not much more than an old and weathered box, except that the top front opened up to house a porcelain statue of a warrior wielding a familiar halberd one-armed across his shoulder.
"No, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
I honestly don't like the sound of that at all. You're making it sound like there are multiple Magistrate Duckies...!
"Shoooould we intercept..."
"I wish I could, Ying. But I have our reputation to think of first."
Reaching into a compartment below, she pulls out a small paper packet, giving it a little rustling shake. Tearing off the top of the packet, she offers us a stick of incense each, lighting up the end with a small metal burner on the altar.
That one I understood immediately.
Horrible unpersonalities aside, the duckie mcquack and its kin must hold some great influence in this region. I don't think it would be a good look if our Ying-onee went out and battered the fat duck in her bunnysuit either. It would be funny, but Daju is thinking about the long term here! At the very least, we have to get through opening night without anything major happening first!
"We can't afford to have trouble on the loft's opening, yet trouble is headed our way.", Zhangji's weary shaking of her head summed up the mood amongst us.
"Ah... then what can we do about it?
"We can only hope... that some small miracle happens tonight...!"
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"Yeah! Run! Get lost!"
Madi-san blows a raspberry at the fleeing snake-eyed strategist and her remaining minions sans armor and weapons.
"You'll regret releasing me!
The great Su Qyn shall have her revenge one day!"
"Yeah, imma gotta put an [x] to Doubt on that one!"
With those final words from Madi-san, the adversaries limpingly dip into the forestline, off to cry about their ill-treatment at the hands of a purple-haired rambler who totally [x] would commit war crimes against her prisoners again!
"Eh... Is it a good idea to leave this place like this?" Annalie scratches the top of her head, wondering out loud.
"We oughta have thrown the snek into the river for the finale!" Madi-san makes a cutting motion across her neck, her thoughts and deeds completely unaligned with each other!
"Nyargh... we have no choice. Let's get back quickly, it'll be a small miracle if we make it back before nightfall." Our trembling Neko-tachi is holding onto Annalie's waist in koala-like grip from behind, thoroughly anticipating another mad dash on horseback.
"You can't quite grasp horse-riding still, Neko-chii?" Oracion rides up from behind the three, on a dark brown horse she kindly procured from the keep stables. I shouldn't be surprised that [Trono Palido's] leader can ride horses in isekai, they're all [New Continenters] through and through!
"Horses are a Class III import in [Arcadia]..."
"You got real weird hangups, Neko-chan! What's the difference between this and a chariot?!" Madi-san slaps her horse's bum, which is loaded with all the phat loot she could carry with her grubby little hands.
"The difference, [Exposer], is that one is a civilized vehicular transport, and the other is..."
"Yap yap yap, weak is what you are!"
The only charitable means to describe Neko-chan's face is that it gives off 'come here and say it to my face not online' vibes. Amidst the friendly laughter at Neko-chan's reddening expense, Oracion sidles her horse in-between Madi-san's and Annalie's ride,
"Let's go. I want to give thanks to your cousin as well...!"
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Our friends would not make it back before the trouble started.
By opening hour, long queues had already formed up outside the Red Hare Loft, so much that there wasn't nearly enough seating inside at all! Throngs of guests had come to see this newly erected establishment, drinks, copper and ingots exchanging hands at a rapid pace.
Earlier on, Daju gave me a quick pointer on how to give simple, separate commands to my guys, so they wouldn't have to do things as a group. Now I have them on rotating bouncer, bartender and cleanup duty! Even Daju's four-legged friends are zooming across the dance floor, delivering takeout on cute little paper backpacks on their back. Even then, we barely have enough hands!
A small circle of guests had gathered around the front tables with me, asking me to recount my (one) Dragonociding instance again and again. I feel like I've told this story multiple times to multiple groups already, but with Daju pushing more drinks into our little circle, 『shikata ga nai 』... [2] I'll help entertain the guests, just a little longer!
Surrounded by adoring (?) fans, Ying-onee doing absolutely impossible dance moves onstage, I had a small thought...
Perhaps this little moment of bliss could go on a little longer.
That was when the trouble started.
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"Please, you have to queue up...!"
A rude, portly and elderly guest had just pushed past Zhangji with a pair of black-clothed ducks and its red-haired minion, letting itself into the club.
"GUARK guark GUARK! Now... what's THIS guark about?!"
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NEXT: Why Yes This Is The Martial Memes Chapter, Have the Elderly No Self-Respect?!
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TERMINOLOGY
[1] HWAAAAA - 【哗】, onomatopoeia, that's the sound of the crowd going wild for the Dragonocider girl! Usually used to indicate surprise or a big happening going on!