第三十二回：圓桌論大V消失案，小V也來串屠龍記？！
The madwoman calls it a 'roundtable meeting', but what she really got us to do is to sit around the bar counter while Daju left us alone after making us drinks.
This bar counter is also decidedly rectangular, which hurts my logical detective brain.
"... like I was saying, the dragons will respawn in FIVE days!"
"Not two weeks?"
I pipe up while slurping an orange flavored drink through a reed straw. Whenever it comes to time frames, Madi-san always sets it for two weeks. There is a never-ending supply of 'two weeks' it seems.
By the way, it has been a mere five days since we were isekaied, things are moving MUCH faster than a certain boat ride to the land of the fairies!
Also, how do you know that the dragons have a respawn timer? Right now there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to dragons spawning. Even putting the corpse of a dead dragon on our doorstep doesn't work as a lure! I have a feeling that you are just pulling out a random number out of your head! Where's the evidence, the evidence that---
"Just read the UESP wiki, Aya-chan!"
"I don't even know what that is!!!!"
Thumping my clay cup on the tabletop, a little bit of the juice spills out the side. Hoping nobody notices, I rub the little spot clean with the edge of my long sleeves. There, all better!
The audacity of boob-for-brains. She still thinks we are trapped in some sort of game world. You aren't the one who had a life or death moment fighting a dragon, you pretty much steamrolled some reptilian jobber while grabbing Oracion on the way here!
"Maybe if you fast traveled we'll progress the main quest some more!" >You are nodding your head as if I understood that. What exactly do you mean by 'fast travel'?
"Madison, [Trono Palido] needs to find Valerie. She's the only person we are missing right now. Then, we need to find a way back to the [New Continent]." Oracion is always the sensible one amongst us, thank you!
"Hmm hmm, some friends you guys are! All of us were in [Arcadia] and not a single one of you came by to say hi?!" Madison puffs out her chest, still cross that our friends didn't come watch our livestreams during the whole month we were there. Then again, does anyone in [Trono Palido] even know you are one half of the [Trabul Twins]?
"We were on a special mission, the less proverbial monkey wrenches thrown in our way, the better."
Madi-san gives me that look across the table, while wordlessly mouthing out 'monkey wrench' to my face. I think Neko-chan's talking about >YOU! Since when have I had a liking for trouble the same way you do?!
"I'm really, really worried about Val-sis... If she got taken by one of the weirdos that live in this land..."
"Relax Annalie, Val-sama is smarter than all of us here! Ain't that right, Aya-chan!"
That I have to agree. Our golden-haired princess-wannabe is practically WAO! the brains of [Trono Palido]! What WERE you guys up to before you got here anyway?
... ... Oracion turns away whistling, while Neko-chan hides her face in her hands.
Well? The detective is asking a question here?
"We were pretending to be veetuubas." Neko-chan quickly spits out that line, lightly hissing with her eyes closed as if reliving a bad nightmare.
Eheee? Ah?
"That's odd, so were we..." Swiveling my index finger between Madi-san and myself rapidly, it feels like we have uncovered a major piece of a puzzle.
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
Madi-san had roped me into becoming a veetuuba for the Clout [1], while she acted as my manager and dai-senpai shill. That's why we were at the 'Thirty Days, Thirty Murders Gala' in the first place.
"This can't be a coincidence we were at the same gala..."
"Of course not, piinku! There HAS to be some sort of conspiracy at play here!"
"Oh no, don't >you start, Madi-san!" I want to thump my empty cup down on Madi-san's hand which slapped the table, but with the quickness of a rabid squirrel, she retracts her hand and smacks mine with an open palm.
Really hard, I might add! That was unnecessary!
"While you have been slacking off with the cuties, I have been mastering the local menne! At this moment, I am definitely much more of a Daoist than >you now! Know your place, you irascible junior!"
"!@#$... Why don't you try calling Valerie-senpai and ask if she needs any rescuing with the power of Dao, then!"
"You know what, Aya-chan, I think I will!"
Pushing her fingers between the open cleavage of her traditional dress...
She pulls out...
... an obnoxiously red flipphone.
""""Ahheeewhhhatttt?!?!?!""""
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Instantly, chaos.
"H-how do you have that, [Exposer]?!"
"Madison?! Why do you have that?!"
" Annalie, that doesn't matter right now, does it work?!"
This big boobed idiot really deserves all the shaking that I am giving her by the shoulders right now! How do you have your phone with you?! Weren't we all stripped of our clothes when we were isekaied here?! What can I say about you hiding this fact from us for so long?! Now I'm just 200% mad! What else are you hiding from us?!
"Ehehehe! You said it yourself, we can't all isekai with modern conveniences?!
HOWEVER!
For you guys, a flipphone is just just an accessory, but for moi' its LITERALLY part of my chara design---"
As I violently shook Madi-san, her phone dropped on the bar table as the two of us went over the table and started amateur wrestling on the floor behind the counter.
Oracion decided to disregard common sense as well,
"Neko-mii, call Valerie."
Punching in Valerie-senpai's number, a simple fluted melody plays while the image of [Arcadia's] number one veetuuba (former), Princess Vee, appears on screen; spinning right round in a white dress with blue frills.
Doopt.
It connected. It actually connected.
"Lady Morceau! Its me! Are you there?!"
"Mii-chan? How... are you calling with Madison's phone?"
"Val-sis! Val-sis! Where are you now?! We'll come over to rescue you right now!"
Despite it being a voice-only call, you could feel Valerie-senpai's narrowed eyebrows through the pause.
"Nana-chi? Rescue...? Are you guys not still in [Arcadia]?"
That.
That response.
That told me a whole lot more than Valerie-senpai thought. She's not here with us. Madi-san, stop pushing my face against the wine rack, I tap, I tap!
"You weren't transported to some strange realm with dragons and half-humans?"
"Senior too? In the shxrt time since you all dxsappeared from the gxla... My hometown's (bzzzzt)--- big trouble!"
Disappeared... So we were isekaied for sure then. However, I don't like it, it sounds like trouble started in [Arcadia] the moment we were taken off the board.
And is it just me, or is the reception getting worse?
"Short time?! Its been five days since we were isekaied, maybe more!"
"... Isekai... Is that you, Aya-chama? Hoo... That makes some sense now.
Its been less than two hours here since you all disappeared."
That also confirmed something else for me. Time does NOT flow the same way here in hell compared to the [New Continent]! Valerie-senpai is smart, she realized it the same time as I did! Sasuga, our resident /vt/ enjoyer!
"Valerie-senpai, we need to get out of this hell! Do you have any idea how to do that? 『onegai』! [2]" Clasping my sore hands together, I speak out the wishes of the other [Trono Palido] members, sans boob-for-brains here who nearly twisted my arm off! This idiot can stay!
"It would be easier if I knew where you guys were. I'll try and work out something from my side..."
"Its Sxyrim! We got isekaied into Skxrim, Val-sama!"
"Ohohoho! I see!"
Valerie-senpai's response is far more curt and short upon hearing Madi-san's voice, not because the two are on bad terms, but more because...
... those two speak the same language.
A bunch of rapid-fire questions between two channers in the know begins:
"Have you guys started the main quest?"
"Yep! Aya-chan here triggered it while fighting a longdragon!"
"How heavily modded is it?"
"Its a literal complete overhaul mod in Lxyue style!"
"Have you tried corrupting the save file?"
"Working on it!"
Annalie leans over my behind my shoulder, whispering in my ear, "Do you know what Val-sis is saying to Madison?"
I have no idea.
But as Madi-san likes to say, /v/ is just next door from /vt/, so those two definitely have a twisted sort of common understanding!
"Then I have a funny question, Madison.
Do you want to come back?"
"Come back?! Non non! Not until I full clear this whole place!"
""""Madi(-san)son!""""
The four of us really had to shout out loud at that one. >You may enjoy it here in hell, wherever this is, but for the rest of us, we would very much rather be seated in the comfy of our home... veetubing I guess! Whoever has transported us here appears to have designed this place to keep Madi-san here indefinitely...
...
"You reached the same conclusion as me, Aya-chama. In any case, you all weren't the only veetuubas who disappeared from the gala!"
Ah?
"If you guys really want to corrupt this save file...
... you'll definitely need the help of the rest who disappeared!"
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NEXT WEEK: Up The Mountains We Go In Search Of Better Wifi, We'll Need A Doctor For This One!
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TERMINOLOGY
[1] Clout - The currency of [Arcadia]! You earn clout by doing activities deemed beneficial to [Arcadia's] AI overlords, the more clout you have the more you are able to bend the system the way you desire!
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[2] 『onegai』-『 おねがい 』, to politely ask for a favor. Of the [Trono Palido] members, Valerie-senpai is the second disciple, but in terms of veetubing, Madi-san demands that I respect the 「dai-sendai」 of Arcadian veetubing!