第三十四回：弓箭亦可近身搏擊，銀針亦成殺人兇器
As our girls who want to kill dragons are fast traveling, let us turn back the pendulum for but a moment.
Back to [Arcadia], Winter of [Current Year].
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Txdd Hxward is hiding an Into-The-Isekai machine in Sxyrim.
There is a WHOLE game that is locked behind the developer's maliciousness. It has never reached the public nor has it ever been revealed by hack tools. ALL these games like this have them. They are ALL in on it. The ability to traverse worlds is being HIDDEN in plain sight.
That is what the shadowy figure fervently believes at least.
This person's name is not Madison Delaroux, just in case you were wondering.
As the clacking feverishly piles onto the keyboard encrusted with golden dust, the 『Kagejin』[1] leans back in its oversized gamer chair. Its work was done. Seven point one million views could not be wrong. Now it was up to Txdd to fess' up, and tell the world that the ability to isekai using Sxyrim exists.
Peeking through the blinders of this small and dark room, the artificial lights of [Arcadia's] evernight flood into view. Neon advertisements for everything from horse-shaped massagers to pool competitions with bunnygirls flicker under the three-quartered moon.
The roar of an illegally modified Luftbike pierces the third storey air right before the startled Kagejin, who falls backwards on its butt. In the distance, [GLOYW] sirens lag behind, late as always.
They'll see, they'll all see. Every single game like this has a second "Into-The-Isekai" part to it. But you had to jump through hoops to get there, as it is a secret that is dearly protected unless you do the secret firm and strong handshake that tells them you are in on this secret society too. It has all been foretold you see, in the most ancient of anime music!
The [SALEM] AI will force Txdd to disclose everything.
Victory shall belong to the righteous.
Then, maybe Txdd will do the right thing and invite it to Jxpan.
But for now, tummies had to be filled.
Pushing past the steel grate on the first floor of the low-built rental tower, the penthouse skyscrapers that surround this part of old [Arcadia] seem to reach ever upwards and ever out of reach. Far above, floating vehicles take up the nightspace, all too oblivious to the lives of those who live below.
As the lights of the nearby 「konbeni」 near, the sliding doors ding open and the Kagejin is once again bumped back on its butt by two exiting figures.
"Hurry up, Aya-chan! We have GOT to visit 'The Firmament' theater while we're here!" A purple haired girl wearing a Fxench cap waves around her obnoxiously red flipphone, projecting a holographic map of the [Morceau District].
The other girl, of sleek and slender foreign build, licks a purple popsicle in one hand and is reading off her own blue flipphone.
"Would it kill you to slow DOWN for once, Madi-san?" She smacks the purple-haired one on the back of the head with the flipphone; the only one of the two who notices that their haste had caused some small discomfit, she puts away her phone, left hand leaningly outstretched,
"『Daijoubu desu ka』?" [2]
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And now, we return to the story of cute and funny girls killing dragons!
The speeding chariot rounds its way through the twisted forest detour, carrying three passengers on a special mission to find better wi-fi! The wheels had just cut through the last of the gnarly thorn-filled undergrowth, when the cloud-tipped peaks of the eastern mountains come into view.
"Argh. My head."
"Ehehehe, you're finally awake?!"
No thanks to you, you crazy Fxenchwoman! The moment I picked the third person to act as my bodyguard, I was furiously walloped in the back of my head! What was THAT about? What did I do to deserve this extreme violence?
"We're fast traveling, Aya-chan! You gotta have something to read while you're on the loading screen!"
"... and that has what to do with taking a long and large stick to the back of my head?"
Somehow, morning had turned into night, and we are now on the other side of 【Yan Province】. Fast traveling my foot, this feels more like instant teleportation! Remember those mountains that the dragon blasted while [Reckless Ayaya] gouged out its eye? Those mountains, which were merely background scenery before are now all around us in lush verdancy.
If we are headed up the tallest mountain we can find, why can't we just 'fast travel' our way up there?
"Aya-chan, you dumbass! How can you fast travel to a location you haven't discovered yet!"
Oh, is THAT how it works?! Pardu'n my ignorance on the inane rules of this world that only >you are privy of!
Well, now that the peaks are in sight, if I close my eyes, will we find ourselves at the top of the mountain?
"Non, non! How can you fast travel when enemies are nearby! Can't you READ the upper left corner of your screen?"
I don't know what you are talking about, what AM I supposed to read you crazed... You know what, forget it! I'm not interested in becoming as unhinged as you. Someone has to be the sane and sensible one in this duo!
Riding in the chariot with us, Oracion peeks a glance at the majestic view all around us with her pink eyes, completely unperturbed by the speedwagoning that is going on.
"I thought you would be used to Madison's rambling by now..."
Nobody will ever get used to Madi-san's insane logic. Ever. Have you heard the words that come out of her mouth? She just makes up terms like 'fast travelling' all the time! Some sort of balance has to be achieved here, and its up to us to...
"Of all the people you could have picked, you picked the jobber of [Trono Palido]?!?!"
"Cleaning up unfinished business is my job, Madison."
Oh Oracion, you sweet child of summer. You are far too naive and have not experienced the crazy I have to deal with every day. See what I mean about nobody being able to follow Madi-san's mind? You think that Madi-san is praising you because you take on all the odd jobs that the other [Trono Palido] members can't do, but in reality a jobber is a 『puroresu』 term for someone who loses a lot and...
The chariot drifts to a halt, throwing up dirt along its wheels. Having found a path up the mountain's base, we find our paths blocked by a shady group holding torches around a makeshift encampment. Armed with chipped and shabby weapons, their clothes are mismatched and shabby, with bits of every set mixed in. Some are wearing full-helms, others wear armor that is barely a pair of straps over their chest. One of these terribad-fashioned goons walk up to the chariot, torch lighting up the scoundrel's face tinted with dark intentions.
"Halt! This here is a toll road, you see!"
Pointing to the top of the mountains, intimating with three fingers that if we want to go up, we have to cough up some copper. Despite wearing parts of the dirty and mismatched armor of the Duck Clan, I doubt there is any connection. It seems that Daju was right on the money again, this place is full of bandits and wastrels, it would be better if we just paid a small sum and be on our way safely...
Ah. 『Shimatta』. We didn't ask for traveling expenses from Daju.
Madison appears to be pondering her options, when the motley crew start surrounding the chariot...
"...or you pretty ladies could stay for the night as payment..."
One of the highwaymen who could have doubled as a mohawked goon for a post-apocalyptic martial arts manga reaches a hand for the back of Oracion's long pink hair---
--- and suddenly backs off screaming, clutching the middle of its upper arm!
A single gleaming needle had embedded itself in the underwrist of Screamin' Mancy, who topples over on the dirt road, rolling into the grass, regretting its life and dialogue choices.
With barely a flick of her fingers, Oracion had retrieved a single needle from her borrowed thigh strap and delivered it to its target as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You would not have thought that Oracion did anything, sitting completely still, if not for the murderous intent that is overflowing from this pink woman right now! Oracion, chill! Chill, biichii! Why is it whenever it comes to almost-murdery stuff you get this worked up?!
"Never should have come heee---"
Before the leading bandit could finish its lines, Madi-san had already equipped a simple wooden bow; but instead of nocking an arrow like most rational people do...
... she holds it horizontally across her fist and socks bandito generico across the face!
"Hmm hmm! Most people don't know this, but you can use the middle mouse button for a melee attack!"
Ah. Ahhhhhh...!!! Negotiations have broken down!
The screaming will continue for a while, on both sides.
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NEXT: Archery Competitions Are For The Naturally Talented, Elves Can't Use Crossbows Its Against Isekai Law!
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GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[1]『Kagejin』- 「影人」, a stand-in for the actual culprit. They are usually of a standard dark figure with no features on their body, only the whites of their eyes. Used frequently in detective manga to show the actions of a culprit but not reveal the culprit!
[2] 『Daijoubu desu ka』-『 大丈夫ですか 』, it means "are you okay"?
[3] 『puroresu』- A sort of entertainer/sportsman who fights in the ring for golden title belts.