第二十八回：兔女郎騎馬凱旋歸，檐斧手以說書惑之
"【lairen】! Turn this place upside down!"
At that moment, if this were a historical manga piece, there should have been fifty axe-bearers on each side waiting in the sidehalls stepping out in sync, ready to chop the offending parties down.
But nothing happened!
The duck claps its wings impotently again.
"【lairen】! 【lairen】! Where are the warriors of the Ya Clan?!"
Elder duck Tu Shubei quacks, quavers and claps its wings repeatedly with increasing anxiety.
Still, nobody came.
Each time it clapped its wings,
it looked left,
it looked right,
it looked up,
yet whatever personages it was expecting did not come.
Who are you expecting to come through the roof? Baxman?
...
... ...
... ... ...
Guark...?
Instead, it was Yue Fuyi who spoke everyone's mind.
"Gihyuyuyu! That's awkward...? Where are the helpers of 『seigida』!"
"If you are out of tricks...
Please. Move. And save some face.
Or do you think...
You can face Ou Mou [1] and the Dragonocider at once...?"
Ou Nygai's steel-plated gaiters make good on her threat, now glowing an iridescent red in 【Qi-coated】aura. When Ou Nygai stands up fully without leaning back, she towers completely over the old duck, menacingly. Even someone as delusional as it can tell that the winds have changed.
"Gu... guark! You... mark my words, you all have offended a descendant of the ryuu!
This duck, Tu Shubei shall remember this!
Yue Fuyi! We're leaving!"
"But we haven't done anything (vanquished the evildoers) yet!"
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Half-dragging the would-be heroine along towards the entrance, the duck (whisper whispers) to its NPC escorts,
"... to Central that the whorecat is near total revolt.
... and prepare for that.
Did she feast on a dragon's heart?!
Where is her confidence coming from?!
I want the whorecat to die a painful ---- GUARK!"
The geriatric bumps against something tall and pink, falling backwards on the ground. The cheering laughter from its back had already annoyed it so, now yet another stumbling block was in its way? It was time to show these disrespectful young primates what happens when you cross an elder duck!
"Where have your eyes grown?! Do you not see this duck is in a bad mood... GUARK?!"
Tu Shubei immediately shuts its flap when met with Oracion's steely gaze.
"More ducks..."
Following behind her is a strange entourage, a girl in a purple bunnysuit, a girl wearing a white bunnysuit and a black-haired catgirl. The purple-haired one is 【Pointing Hands and Feet】[2] at the fallen duck with utmost disrespect, while the black-haired catgirl has one hand on the handle of her blade, already waiting to give the duck an early retirement!
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Oracion's eyes shift to the pair of duck assassins supporting the quibbling duck, and makes the connection immediately.
"Yours? Go clean up your trash outside."
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Moments earlier.
"Look! That's a big crowd!"
Even as far away as the gate nearest the teahouse, the returning heroes could see that opening night had drawn far more people than expected. The brightly lit lights of the bunnygirl club shines an auspicious red through the moonless sky. It was as if all available lanterns had been directed there for just one night.
"Ehhh, what's wrong, you three? Madison, aren't you happy at all?"
The horses make for a slow trot towards the light, With Oracion and Neko-chan silently affixing their gaze at the rooftops.
Dark shadows in black clothing are moving about up there.
Some were hunkered down, some were crawling behind a rooftop ledge when Oracion's gaze landed upon them. Yet, even the darkness was not nearly enough to hide their portly frames, which stuck out like wheatcake with too much yeast put into it while baking.
"Neko-chii, what do you think?"
"At least three dozen on the rooftops alone. And definitely not our people."
"There are... ninjas on the roofs!"
Pointing up, Madi-san slaps the side of her poor ride, urging it to grow wings and take to the sky for aerial combat. Alas, most of better equestrienne sense know that's not possible, so her unreasonable request was rightfully denied. Seeing that they have been marked out, the hiding ducks press their rotund bodies prone even further downwards, but the eye on the UI remains wide open!
"It seems... Zzz... 【Taisho's】miracle has arrived."
"Ou Nygai, that's a lot of uninvited guests."
Neko-chan gets off Annalie's back, a little shaky from the long ride back to greet Ou Nygai above, who is splayed out on the handrails of the teahouse's second floor.
"Troublesome, can't act. Zzzz. People... will panic."
That was Daju's number one concern. Ou Nygai probably could level an entire building with those thighs of hers, but everyone else who had gathered here was here for the entertainment! We can't just have an open duck hunting season (bloodbath) in the streets, even if we really wanted to!
"Ehhhh... Can't we just say they all got struck by lightning at the same time?!"
Wagging a finger at Annalie's evil thoughts, Madi-san rejects the permanent lightning solution. "Non, non, Annalie! That would be..."
"""... bad for tourism."""
The [Trono Palido] girls share a collective groan, unpleasantly reminded of their master's oft-repeated adage, "Tourism, ho!" Somewhere in [New Coimbra], shivers run down the spine of said master, who could distinctly feel that it was being badmouthed by its disciples, wherever they were right now!
"... if it comes down to narrative construction, there's something we can do. But it will depend on the [Exposer's] help."
"Moi'?"
Neko-chan beckons for the crew to come closer, as she reveals the plan that will save the bunnygirl club's optics! [3]
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"Hey! Someone else just cut the queue again!"
Earlier on a trio of ducks had cut the queue, Zhangji powerless to stop them. Now that she was back and had let yet another big girl in, something was definitely up. Grumbling from the crowd intensifies, having waited in queue for a long time.
"It's alright, it's alright, she works here!"
Ou Nygai slipped past the crowd into the club, whispering only the words,
"Seven minutes. Help us with that much."
Us?
Her earlier slipup still distracting her mind, Zhangji wondered how to explain to the increasingly agitated crowd that there was some trouble inside when the clanging of the gong announced the arrival of our purple-haired protagonist. Someone in the crowd immediately recognizes the signature outfit of the club,
"Look, bunnygirls on horseback...!
Riding clangingly into the fray is Madison Delaroux, decked out in her purple bunnygirl costume. Where she pulled it from, I really have to wonder! The purple-haired Fxxxxhgirl looks up at the sky with a knowing laugh.
"Ehehehe! Its been twenty chapters and you can't even press [I] to open your inventory, Aya-chan?!"
I have no idea what that means. Since when did your vidya have chapters, Madi-san?
Annalie rides closely behind Madi-san, decked out in her white bunnygirl outfit she had been wearing all along. This sudden appearance of fanservice draws all the eyeballs and heat off Zhangji, but the real show had yet started!
"Ahem! Ahem! May I have your attention please!"
[SFX: clangclangclangclangclang]
"Because everyone has waited for so long,
we at the bunnygirl club are putting on a special show...
Right here, right now,
opening night only!"
As the crowd roars out in approval, your neighborhood narrator-in-the-sky really has to wonder what are you up to now.
"Hup!"
Ever the showgirl, Madi-san just HAS to flashily dismount by swiveling on her saddle, before launching into a backwards double somersault, handstanding one-armed on the ground to cheers and applause at her circus act.
As she rights herself and dusts off her white gloves, Neko-chan and Annalie help out by moving the props in place; a 『shoji』[3] decorated with ink drawings of plum blossoms is spread out behind her by the two, obscuring the crowd's vision and putting it fully on the purple bunnygirl.
Pulling out a small wooden fan from within her bossom (of course, where else would that Fxxxxxh woman hide it!)...
The camera pans for a close shot as she opens it with a flourish before her face.
"Ahem!
This is a tale from long ago...
A tale from our homeland of the [New Continent]!
[SFX:Drumbeats]
Back before even the oldest olden days,
When wicked beasts wore the human flesh,
... and preyed upon the hearts of the living!
Such was their greed and hunger for immortality,
they tore [Death Itself] into six and seven pieces,
scattering his remains across the continent!
But fret not,
a journey had already been undertaken,
for [Afterlife's Consort] set off long ago,
to put her lover back together once more!
And when she arrived here...
... here at the city of 【Pu'yeng】...
[SFX:Cheap Pop]
[SFX:Erhu Intensifies]
These are the very words that she said...!"
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NEXT: The Red Hare Loft Is A Loft Among Lofts, Queuecutting Is Rude And Disrepectful!
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TERMINOLOGY
[1] Ou Mou - 【牛某】, Ou Nygai is referring to herself without her given name, using the word 【某】 to replace it. Usually used to denote humbleness, here its used with a little sass to show that the elder duck has eyes but... ehehehe!
[2] 【Pointing Hands and Feet】 - 【指手畫腳】, to point and point again, usually in a very rude manner with one's hands. There's a lot of movement involved!
[3] Optics - NOW we're back in /Conspiracy/ territory! Optics is using the first impressions of something to make something look better or worse! For example, shooting a crowd of protestors? Bad optics! Getting the cavalry to mow them down? EVEN WORSE optics! Pretending to be benevolent while spiking babies like its the NXL? Good optics!