第二十回：濮陽重逢黑貓憋氣，綾乃屠龍少女是也
We must have been the strangest sight passing through 【Pu'yeng】 that day.
A train of farming carriages drawn by a mixture of phantomic oxen and real cows pass through the main gates, carrying the strangest cargo. Gigantic bones resembling the remnants of an 「Old Continental-Style Steamed Bass 」 are its cargo, split up neatly with the skull riding in the front. Such was this peculiar contingent that the usually non-reactive NPCs find their heads wordlessly turned and drawn to us.
The carriage-train makes its way to the center of the city, where great-constructor Madi-san and Neko-chan are arguing over something in the distance. The sound of the carriages and a cute detective hollering their way got the attention of those two loggerheads; for they immediately broke their argument and ran up to us.
Pulling the reins the front-most carriage is Ou Nygai, seated with (me) and Daju on her sides. Zhangji is seated to Daju's other side, trying to prevent Daju from removing her bloodstained bandages before Neko-chan noticed; Ying-onee isn't seated, opting to stand while leaning her back on the bones of the slain dragon, bamboo hat tilted across her face.
Typical 『chunni』 behavior.
I'll let that slide today.
"Annalie Tu---"
Neko-chan saw the waving priestess from far away, hanging to the side of the bones dangerously with one foot off the carriage, Annalie leaps off as Neko-chan runs close enough, the forward momentum crushing the poor catgirl's face under the weight of her hips.
"Neko-mii!!!"
Completely engulfing and straddling Neko-chan's face, the poor Neko-tachi beats at Annalie's sides with her sheathed greatsword, trying to get her to get off.
Here comes the double-team.
"Annalie!!"
"Madison!"
Another giant-boobed idiot has joined the fray, crashing into the kneeling Annalie with a tight embrace. A couple of 'waiwaiwai's later, Neko-chan's gagged beating with the sword became a little more frantic, but none were there to listen.
"Aren't you surprised to see moi'?!" The crazies start playing a game of impromptu pat-a-pat, as if they rehearsed this greeting beforehand.
"Not really! Where Aya-chan is, Madison always is too!"
Thanks for the vote of confidence you two cheek-rubbing lunatics. If you two haven't noticed, we're about to have an emergency situation on our hands if you both don't get your hips off Neko-chan soon.
"Wow, that's a lot of sass from you today, my accomplice!! What's with the Gxxxxxs skeleton?!"
"That's the skeleton of a dead ryuu."
Zhangji points to the skeleton behind her, as Daju uses the momentary distraction to rip off her bandages, the head wound reopening and bursting tomato sauce once more!
"Yu 【Taisho】---!!!"
"Ehhhhh?!?! Nanda?!?!"
As the giant ninja retainer sitting to her side tries to stopgap her Taisho's wound with an open palm, Neko-chan finally taps out and just limply lays both arms flat on the ground.
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Black panels obscure the sides of the pages, a pendulum turns backwards to indicate a flashback.
Back to when the scary NPC cultists started surrounding me and chanting a name in my head.
"Guys? Guys? Am I the only one hearing this?"
Whatever reply came out of Daju's lips was drowned out by the chanting inside my head. It was repeated enough times that I made out the words by myself.
【Tulong】...
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
... and 【Shounu】. [2]
Up until now the translator between [Vespanol] and whatever crazy language this was had been working fine.
But this...?
What does it mean...?
"【Dragonocider Girl】. That's some title."
Thank you! At least I'm not the only totally crazy one today!
As if to answer my question, a normally crowing voice speaks up from the chanting that grows quieter by the second. The normalcy and coolness of that voice is unexpected, even among the fading chants of the NPCs. On second thought, you have to go back to your 'normal' speech patterns Ying-onee, don't you dare suddenly slick your hair back and pull an Axxxn on me now!
And could you please get your culty guys to shut up for a moment; I'm getting really, really scared here! NPCs aren't supposed to talk! (R-right...?) That's like violating a red truth in a witch's torture game, then covering it up by suddenly pulling out a golden sword at the end of the episode! Narrator-san a hack! You can't just kick the detective off the island and claim victory by default!
"Ooooooh.... Ooooooohhhhh...!!!"
When I said... Oh don't YOU start, Ying-onee, there's nothing to uwooooh about here, stop holding my palms and shaking them!
"After cultivating for sooooo long,
what a sight...! What a sight...!!
The Dao... The 【Dao of Ryuu】,
... is flowing once more...!"
『Shirimasen』 [1] . Is that important?
I greatly apologize if it sounded cold at that moment! I don't know anything about this Dao business, except that I'm sure it sounds as important as [Magick] is to [Vespana]!
The chants slowly fade away, and the NPCs fall silent once more. They still surround me, but now stand motionless as mannequins, eyes still obscured by the bangs and black bandannas.
"Even if for a moment... It was too good to be true."
Zhangji, who had been carrying Daju by the arm tries to grasp at the last flicks of translucent blue hue in the air, before it all fades to nothing again. A little saddened, she bows her head; but at the same time, a serene smile reveals two rows of 『same-like』 teeth.
As she wipes away tears and snot from her nose, dustclouds from a small herd of uddered cattle can be seen in the distance. A certain person is riding the lead bovine with the strangest stance; lying flat horizontally while strapped to the top.
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"That's about all I know."
I had just finished recounting the day's events inside our bunnygirl club. The central pole we fought tooth and nail for is already affixed to the center of the room. Clever arrangements had been made for semi-translucent paper to be dyed purplelish-pink and lit with traditional light sources to create that club-like lighting. Cheap wooden furniture abounds, adorned with puffy cottontailed cushions dyed a deep red. The birch beams that make up this building and matching furniture have been meticulously polished until they shone, no doubt by our Neko-tachi, hiding the fact that this place had been built on a tight budget. In all, it was a comfy place.
If I wasn't dressed in a green bunnygirl costume on stage.
"Madi-san... what are you making me wear..."
Covering up the front of my chest to stop it from slipping; I recall that Madi-san DEMANDED an explanation for why we had a Gyraxxs skeleton behind us and our carriages were flying cultist colors. Zhangji left the NPCs outside the city, but the black and red banners hung at their side were too much for Madi-san to ignore.
"TL;DR..." Madi-san grabs at my sleeveless upper arm, pulling it close in a lock that bumped our bare shoulders together.
"WE...
...WUZ
...DRAGONBxxN!"
How about no, Madi-san?! Where did you come into the picture anyway? Have you forgotten that I, watashi, not (moi') did all the dragonociding business?! I have to say that the cheap purple bunnygirl costume looks far too good on Madi-san, hugging into every irrationally built curve that shouldn't arise from forever stuffing one's face. Even the tightly fit stockings are mocking me at this point. Do calories also run on magick in [Vespana]? It is horrifically unfair if that's the case!
The main cast who survived today's ordeal are seated comfortably in four circular couched sections. This VIP seating faces around the central stage that protrudes outwards like a... mast. I even called for my guys who I accidentally left at the 【Weapons Room】 all this time because I felt like apologizing for not giving them an order to sleep, or do whatever NPCs do when they are not commanded around. (Sorry!) They just stand aimlessly behind the bar without orders, like a six-pack of bartenders.
Annalie, who is rubbing the back of a pale-faced and half-asphyxiated Neko-chan, is wearing a pure white bunnygirl costume, white-ears, white bowtie, even the stockings are a clean, lacy white; clearly Madi-san had prepared costumes for the sizing of the [Trono Palido] members beforehand. It makes me wonder if she prepared one for the still-missing Oracion as well.
Can priestesses be bunnygirls? Surely that must violate a Sherlynist scripture somewhere.
Ah, Neko-chan refused outright to wear the costume, nearly half-choking to death again when presented with hers.
"Ehhhhhh. I still don't get it. So Madison wants to kill dragons." Annalie scratches the side of her head, "... and I killed one? What's the big deal? The [Church of Sherlyn] fends off wild beasts all the time?"
Madi-san wags a finger rapidly at Annalie, dislatches herself from me to spin around on the dance pole with one arm, making a full circle to smirk at me, as if I couldn't do something simple as that!
"The big deal... is that Aya-chan got a powerup from it!"
My best friend so shamelessly declares, still believing this to be a game of some sort. Sure, there was that weird floaty blue bit, but I don't feel any different from this morning! I'm not seeing textboxes pop up, no numbers are increasing, and my hair isn't suddenly turning gold, is it? If killing a dragon suddenly gave me magical powers, dragon gods above, let me deflate this idiot who is flaunting in front of me right now!
At this moment, a known shaded figure wearing the club's signature costume parts the red curtain obscuring the center stage,
"Yoooou say that simply,
... but Dragonocide...
... is noooo simple matter!"
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NEXT: Bunnygirls Are A Serious Plot Point, Oracion's Been Jobbing For Twenty Chapters Already!
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TERMINOLOGY
[2] 【屠龍少女】 - Literally means, 'Dragonicider Girl'. The girl who kills dragons. You know what, I preferred 'Conspiracy Girl', that one sounded just a little less offensive!
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[1] 『Shirimasen』 - 'I don't know', but in the vein of 'I don't care' as well. Think of a pink cat emoji mocking you forever...