第四十一回：荀程下戰棋逗老鴨，橘貓舉杯虞逆神佛
In the dark governmental mansion of 【Ji City】...
A rectangular chessboard has been set up. On a table wooden table segmented into six by thirteen squares, two miniature keeps are placed across each other not unlike goalposts in miniature soccer. On the chessboard, tiny miniatures have been set up with bobbed heads and painted on smiling faces.
It would have looked like a proper setup if only...
... the pieces were not made out of biscuit.
[SFX:SLAM!]
"CHECKMATE, DAJU! YOU'VE LOST!"
A brown wing forcefully slams down on the chessboard, scattering the biscuited pieces. Caught under Tu Shubei's wing is a tiny miniature of what appears to be Daju and her frizzy sidetail, albeit with really poorly drawn-on eyes and tiny irises. Swiping it upwards towards its bills, the unscrumptious duck puts the biscuit-piece to its mouth and bites it, tearing off piece-Daju's head!
"A magnificent strategy, esteemed patriarch!"
The bootlickers Xun and Cheng appear from the shadows of the other side, spines bowed and arms cupped under the long sleeves of their robes. Despite it being the two that thought up the entire stratagem, allowing Tu Shubei to claim the credit was apparently part of their plans. This elder duck is far too easy to flatter, and would surely pave a path for them both once this was over!
"Then, lets go over this a fifth time..." Xun produces more chess pieces of identical cracker quality and place them on their side of the board.
At the side of the room, a small brazier furnace burns, fragrant incense rising from the top. Wisps of smoke permeate the room, making it a veritable sweatshop of half-baked intellect! Winning strategists don't do incense!
"Quark! Again?! The whorecat's forces are weak and can be crushed with a single little feather! "
That was how it seemed on paper. A quick glance at the pieces across the board, even a casual observer can see that the number of biscuit soldiers on Tu Shubei's side greatly outnumber that of Daju's.
This was the power of 【Constitutional Slavery】, by forcing the locals into service, they become the perfect cannon fodder and turn into sharp weapons to oppress their fellows! When they had dirtied their hands and bent their knee, there was no turning back, they were no longer 【Yan Province】 natives, merely pawns of the Duck Clan now!
Even so, it didn't hurt to be cautious. That is the strength of Xun and Cheng, both are deep schemers with cautious, conservative roots. It is not easy to dislodge the deep calculations of these two...! The effects of the brazier will wear off soon, sensing that some flattery was in order...
"The 【Taisho】 of 【Pu'yeng】 has long showed her intent to rebel. The Duck Clan can simply take over the city, but an excuse has to be made to preserve 【Stability】. She has the support of many merchants within the city. Not to mention..."
Cheng waves a sleeve at the miniature figures of the bobbed-haired Ou Nygai, Neko-chan, and a scowling Oracion piece. Whoever is making these biscuit-pieces should get a medal, it really does look like her when she's angry!
"Old troubles have mixed in with new ones. The most troublesome one..." Lifting Ou Nygai's piece, Cheng places it far down south, near a smaller fort. "... can be separated from Daju. She won't ignore disturbances close to the 【Huai River】, not when 【Tui Tie】 eyes the fertile farmlands there. What she will find there..."
Xun topples over the Ou Nygai piece face hitting the board. ... Hey! Finish your sentence! Don't leave your narrator hanging!!
"Next, the 【Hereticates】. Although she has only been in service for a short while, the 【Guardian】 remains a number one threat. But how much loyalty can she have towards the 【Taisho】? An outsider is still an outsider. Anyone can be bought off, so we can make good use of a wedge between the two. Our scholars should be arriving back soon with good news."
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In truth, they should have arrived with good news long ago. Food buckets all of them, thought the elder duck! At this moment, if a certain 【Jishi】 with an annoying voice could hear this, she would be laughing in her horsetail whip drenched in blood!
"【Puyengman】... the new general that appeared two nights ago... we should guard against her as well. However, the pink haired one has not made anymore moves since then. In fact, a carriage passing 【Ji City】 was carrying a pink haired passenger away from the city..."
"Then the heavens truly want this duck to achieve greatness!", exclaimed the quibbling duck, still irate at how Oracion wiped out most of its assassin squad, a loss it could not come back from so easily! Precipitation dripped down from the side of the elder duck's brow remembering Oracion's deathglare as she passed through the Red Hare Loft's doors during opening night. Whoever this mercenary was, she was not going to interfere with the schemes this duck had tonight!
"With the main threats out of the way, an excuse can be formed easily. Let's say that the 【Taisho】 meets with an unfortunate accident tonight..."
"... being the benevolent duck that the grand patriarch is, you generously decide to step up to administer the city until a replacement from the Duck Clan can be appointed...! A big-hearted move, considering how busy you are!"
This is 【釜底抽薪】, to 【pull the foundations out from underneath】 an enemy! If Daju is housing and feeding all these rebellious elements, then losing control of 【Pu'yeng】 would cause all these unstable elements to scatter, or be easily dealt with one by one!
"WAIT---! WAIT!!! THERE'S STILL ONE MORE!"
Xun and Cheng turn their puzzlement to the seething duck, the most powerful warriors in the city had been accounted for already. Who else could there be?
"The..." Huffing angrily, the words could only come out in a low seethe from its bills, "... the Dragonocider Girl!"
Me...? I mean... why me...?
"She DARED to talk back to me, her legs must be broken and brought before me in chains!"
... this ducking duck. Weird flex, but ogey. Does that count as cruel and unusual punishment, or does that concept not exist in isekai?
"Grand patriarch... I assure you she is not a great threat."
You tell it, funny hat woman!
"... the dragon's head at the loft is a fake. Our insiders asked around and saw it being pulled out of an artisan's workshop hours before the loft opened. "
Whipping whirlpools of misunderstanding, Baxman!
"Regardless, I want that rude little twerp brought before me in chains!" Feathered wing crashing down on the board, it seems that your cute and funny detective has made an enemy out of yet another fat duck! Will the misfortunes of Ayano (me) ever end? The pieces on the table wobble, toppling over with the oversized slam.
"Rest assured, once in control of the city, we will search the city high and low, and drag her out for a beating."
How about I give you a beating instead, Funny Hat Woman #2?!
"Then, have you two prepared for the whorecat's unfortunate accident...?!"
"Our insider...
... has been waiting eagerly!"
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That night, at the Red Hare Loft.
The loft welcomes its important third night. Past this, and the success of the bunnygirl club was assured.
Daju is holding a clay cup up for the guests who have arrived from far away for this night. The entirety of the second floor is packed with guests from afar, prominent friends and 【celebrities】 from 【Yan Province】.
At an eye's corner, a certain red suited bunnygirl leans against the sidewall, out of view. Having finished her bit on-stage, she was here to observe Daju's last performance.
"Esteemed guests, thank you for coming all the way from 【Chengdu】!"
Looking around the crowd of smiling faces, if there was someone who wished her harm amongst the foreign and familiar faces, she really couldn't tell.
But she couldn't doubt.
Or rather, it was impossible for her to.
Her current position was that of a host and an entertainer.
If she started doubting, she would collapse into an endless spiral of suspicion.
My conscience is clear, What I must do next is also clear.
Was this the scenery you saw too, Bian? Even so, you still chose to...
"Today marks the third night the Red Hare Loft has been open!
When we opened, I wondered if we were doing the right thing...
A small misunderstanding could lead to major mishaps these days."
Someone from the crowd shouted, "【Puyangman】 will come save us!"
"Gishishishi! I know that some are still sore that they didn't get to see her on opening night...
Don't worry, a more spectacular performance is in the works!
A bigger, more impressive performance...
... one that will bring a forgotten legend back to life!"
At that time, Daju had no idea that a certain purple-haired troublemaker had been larping as the legendary Lu Bu, and was referring to someone else... Strange how things work out that way in the end.
"So drink, eat,
make merry,
let the stories flow,
as if today is the last!
If the censors come to stop this party, Yu-mou will personally beat them back with a stick!
If the winds come to blow us away, Yu-mou will shout them back into the southern badlands!
Even if 【god comes to block our path, Yu-mou will slay a god】!" [1]
The other guests laughed, thinking that the orange catgirl was drunk on milk, but she had not even touched a drop that night. As if to make good on her declaration, she downs the contents of her cup in one gulp!
With that declaration, many more drinks were offered in Daju's name, all which she accepted. Even if one of them had been secretly laced with poison...
... Daju was no longer afraid.
Seeing this scene, the red bunnygirl departs back into the shadows, having seen what she wanted to see.
The deed was done.
There was no turning back now.
"Oooooh 【Taisho】, I really should be paid overtime for this...!"
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NEXT: Madi-san You Need To Explain Who This Lu Bu Fella Is, Just Don't Pursue Him Aya-Chan!
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TERMINOLOGY
[1] 【神擋殺神，佛擋殺佛】- Literally translates to "If a god blocks my path, I shall kill a god! If a buddha blocks my path, I shall kill a buddha!" By the way, buddhas aren't that prominent yet in the Three Kingdoms era, why is Daju able to mention them...? DUNDUN DUUUN! - Author-kun