第二十三回：福翼開荒笑耀英姿，拒將士之道綾擇軍師
The heroine always arrives in a flashy manner.
Standing proud and tall at four and four seven chi, she sports a pair of roast-blonde pigtails, her vibrant red hair falls in thin, curled side-bangs like feelers across her chest. Her cheeks are puffy, soft and cuddly, golden eyes gleaming with a heroine's vision. A tiny crown adorns the side of her head, impossibly fitted above one of her pigtails. Fitting for a heroine, she wears only a thin, stretchy v-shaped fabric that covers her entire torso, with matching white elbow gloves and thighhighs. Green half-cape fluttering in the destructive wind, she shouts:
"Yue Fuyi is here! Evil shall now be vanquished!"
image [http://static1.squarespace.com/static/62cd15458bbca47144469710/62cd15995860f00f7cf2cc5e/66a62e5da5098c7c5d9a12e3/1722167018135/Intro+to+Fuyi.png]
Completely oblivious to the complete devastation the human laser (her) had just wrought, numerous duck assassins are crushed under boulders and could no longer call for help, melting into the ground and disappearing completely. A frantic quacking mixed with curses reach Fuyi's sensitive ears, and she turns her head dramatically to the point of rescue!
"La-mei! Help! Help me you GUARKING GUARK!""
Elder Shubei had been trapped under one of the falling boulders, a heavy rock pressing down on all the duck fat accumulated on its rotund back. Compared to some of its lackeys, it was a punishment too light for its croaking villainy. Alas, I am not the one writing in the 【Records of Life and Death】, so I cannot mete out lifespan shortening punishments at will.
The thought of just simply kicking the boulder away from the troubled duck must have flitted over Fuyi's mind.
However, that violated the rule of heroism: A heroine must always act like a heroine.
Why?
Because...
That is...
『Seigida』!! [1]
She points her finger towards the offending rock with such force that even the nearby air was frightened; speed lines drawn behind her, the heroine shall now declare her intentions!
"Stop right there, criminal! If you persist in your evil actions..."
The justice-minded girl has both arms drawn in an exaggeratedly large circular motion; which snaps into a pose that puts her left arm at nine and four degrees, her right arm drawn parallel to the ground, top of her hand touching the bottom of her left elbow!
Heroines also did not believe in warning shots.
Rules of engagement...
... are for non-heroines!
True heroines simply jump to action when needed!
No permission needed!
An outside observer might have thought that our oblivious heroine would have wanted to fire a beam of sorts, and they would be right.
However, Fuyi does not fire laser beams.
She IS the laser beam (heroine).
Charging forward while enveloped by 【Qi】 burning with hot heroic passion...
... while still maintaining that ridiculous pose,
no evil can resist this...!
【Strawberry Kick Through The Skies】!
The momentum of her forward jumping kick pierces straight through the boulder, 【Qi】 melting a vaguely Fuyi shaped hole in it before cracking in half and falling by the sides like an opened fruit.
"Gihyuyuyu! That's another evil-doer vanquished!"
As rock crumbles, the heroine laughs, vibrant morning sunrays casting down on her back facing an elderly duck silently frothing at the mouth, not a single personage daring to lift it up.
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It will be sometime before the elder duck recovers.
Who said the road to 【Pu'yeng】 was going to be easy?
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"Are you even concentrating, little ooooone?"
A horsetail whip whisks over the tip of my nose, causing me to sneeze from all the dust accumulated on it. How long have you not washed that thing, Ying-onee? Please, put it in the bathtub as well the next time you bathe.
Ahtchoo---!
Ying-onee has me kneeling on the rocks under a gentle waterfall, where a nearby stream outside the city drops off a low rocky incline. The stream falls over my body, drenching my clothes and body. In contrast, Ying-onee is lazily lying on her side, her uncanny purplish aura keeping her and the horsetail whip impeccably dry. Even when the entire side of her body is lying on water, it shows zero inclination of sinking.
Raising one leggy thigh straight in the air while still lying on her side, she shows that even the tiniest parts of her body are capable of deflecting the waterfall's downward momentum; the falling water is equally repelled by that auric force, simply parting into two streams at the tips of her toes. Very impressive, Ying-onee, go practice that move at the bunnygirl club, not here!
"【Great benefactor】, we would have you clear your thoughts before trying again."
Zhangji strides through the small stream that comes up to the bottom of her knees. The yellow tails of her robe lightly dipping into the water. Holding a small wooden tray, she bends down to allow Ying-onee to take one of the cups; which Ying-onee does without changing her position, a thin phantomic limb reaches for it, the same purplish aura now transferring to the body of the cup.
No good, I can't do it!
Crawling out from under the waterfall, I reach for the fresh brew that had been placed just outside of the light cascade of water mercilessly mocking me from above. Completely drenched, I take small relief from the fragrant woody taste of the tea. This is totally revenge for the 'flower arrangement' session isn't it, Ying-onee?!
"No...? Being able to form your 【Qi】 is a basic cultivation technique."
Zhangji gently retrieves the covered blue porcelain cup from my trembling hands. I can handle myself pretty well in water, but telling me to empty my thoughts is just not going to cut it! If you wanted me to swim, I'll bring my one-piece swimsuit and swim! What's the point of me needing to part water while at it? I'll just part water with a cute breaststroke, there!
"The point,
is to find out what you already have, little ooooone.
The pressure helps yoooou find the 【Dao】 you incline towards...!"
Zhangji returns her cup, completely dry, with one of her phantomic limbs. She doesn't even need to get up or look behind her to place it neatly on the tray again. That HAS to be cheating somehow.
When I am under pressure, I get stressed. When I get stressed, my head goes all funny and [Reckless Ayaya] comes out to play. Are you telling me that whenever Ying-onee is crowing in-battle, she is keeping a serene and completely calm heart? I can already taste a liar from here!
"Ying 【Jishi】 has long achieved 【A Heart Still As A Mirror's Edge】. Perhaps this is still too early for..."
"Noooonsense! The little ooooone has slain a dragon, a true, veritable Dragonocider! She has taken in all of the ryuu's 【Qi】! If not the path of Dao, then what?"
I would love to know too. 『Onegai, Ying-sensei!』 I don't want to sit under a waterfall like an idiot while you show off dance moves I totally could do if I practiced... maybe! Or maybe whatever power the dragon granted doesn't have anything to do with what you are trying to teach me!
"The path of the Daoist leads one to perform supernatural feats;
to call for wind and rain would not be a difficult task.
Even restoring spirit and calling the dead are not out of our reach."
How about an alternative path then, Zhangji? Something that doesn't require me to cast magick spells. Goodness knows Val-sama tried to teach me in [New Coimbra] and I failed miserably at it. [2]
"Then there are Great-Generals who wield 【Qi】 as weapons.
Their fists are steel, the weapons they wield cleave hundreds in a strike.
Those at the peak of this path are said to be worth ten thousand troops."
That definitely sounds more like my great-grans than me. Sorry I grew up with this tiny and cute body! I have to resolutely say 「NO THANK YOU」 to doing flips like Madi-san or the rest of [Trono Palido]. Even Ying-onee is shaking her head now, Zhangji! In any case, I am not picking up a weapon and doing stabbity stabs for funsies! This paper fan hung at my side is all I need. Come to think of it, why is my paper fan the only thing not wet on my entire body?
"Ying-onee, Zhangji, is there anything in the Dao that will let me use my brain?" I am completely exasperated, throwing up both of my hands with palms facing upwards. I'm the detective! Not the brainless brute who swings a club around, that would be Madi-san! She doesn't need help from 【Qi】 to do that, she does that brainless part quite naturally already!
Why do the two of you have such weird looks on your faces?
Ying-onee beckons Zhangji over to whisper in her ear, the front side of her palm facing me.
"You knoooow... The little one here doesn't look too smart. Can she really be a 【军师】 [3] ?"
Oi. I can hear you from here, Ying-onee. You definitely did that to let me hear, didn't you?
"The 【Great Benefactor】does have this shady and sneaky streak that a 【军师】 should have."
You... you too, Zhangji?! All I did was backstab someone TWICE in this visual novel and all of you are...
Ying-onee rubs the topside of her head, remembering something really painful in agreement.
"What is this 【jun'shi】 thing you guys are whispering about?"
I inject myself between this somewhat defamatory conversation, because the Black Bandanna cultists are starting to talk in 『kanji』 I cannot understand now.
"【Great Benefactor】... have you ever had experience of giving the 【Cancelled】 commands in battle?"
Ahhh?
I've been doing that naturally since I first arrived here!
Isn't that something you can naturally do?
Apparently not, considering your reactions right now...!
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NEXT: You Now Realize That This Story Is Listed Under Strategy, The Best Strategy Is No Strategy Aya-Chan!
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TERMINOLOGY
[2] Val-sama Teaches Aya-chan Magick - The fourth member of [Trono Palido] once tried to teach me how to use menne magick and it failed spectacularly. The whole affair is recorded in [The /Showdown/ of Madison Delaroux]!
[3] 【军师】 - Kanji for military strategist. Historically this term is very specific to the Three Kingdoms era, you don't find it easily anywhere else, hence Ayano's translator breaking down. - Author-kun
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[1] 『Seigida』!! - "『Seigi』 means justice! 『Seigida』 means 'this is justice!'" "I... That... that's not how it works, Fuyi!"