第十回:挑畔誘敵亂三級地,單挑何苦背刺不甜乎?
There are moments when I question my friendship with Madi-san; I consider clinging onto an umbrella pole with Neko-chan while Madi-san casually cruises us off a tall cliff face to be one of them.
"Go!"
The chariot takes flight off the cliff edge with great momentum, both yellow-tan horses having been touched by Madi-san's madness as well. Fear becomes less of an issue compared to putting up a super interesting show, am I right, Madi-san?!
Hooves land heavily on the loose platform, bringing the rest of the chariot down with a death-defying crash. As if that wasn't enough, the chariot swerves mighty and dangerous to the side, performing a drift maneuver with the extra momentum that was never supposed to be attempted by medieval warfare transportation devices!
"Woah, woah there... Safe!!!" The chariot comes to a dusty, rickety, screaming halt, nearly bumping into one of those mining NPCs.
Madi-san triumphantly puts both hands on her hips, giving us 'that look'. I am not sure what she wants out of us; one black-haired detective kneeling on the floor trembling and on the verge of tears, the other an upside-down black-cat sprawled out on the floor, legs in the air and tail pointed straight towards the sky.
"See, you guys, this is much faster..."
Neko-chan is the first to recover her composure, for she started shouting [Arcadian] insults too impolite to be monetized at Madi-san, who puts a finger in each ear while closing her eyes.
"Look, we made it in one piece, that's all that matters, right?"
My hands are still trembling from the bump; quickly scanning the surroundings, I note that the NPCs have miraculously not discovered our existence. They continue their meandering lives toiling away for dubious gains, until...
... Madi-san has another genius idea.
Tossing upwards, and then catching a familiar rough stone in the sky, a malevolent smile comes over her face.
Oh no.
Please no.
Why do you still have that?!
"Hey, Aya-chan, how's the song go again?!"
I'm not singing "『The Pitchaa is Bibiteru』" for you, you crazy biichii!
"Shame!"
Madi-san winds her arms up like a clockwork doll, rotating three entire circles impossibly, twisting her body atop the chariot in a sportsperson-like stance, rubbing the rock in her hands to feint at nobody, she hurls it with sonic speed at the nearest mining NPC!
The rock bounces off the back of her black bandanna, finally catching her attention.
The hostility from every NPC in the area was immediate and focused.
Is this what Madi-san calls [Aggro]?
If there were a phone app that could detect hostile encounters within a fifty meter radius, Madi-san had just kicked the proverbial hornet's nest, red dots are lighting up onscreen like laser sights in the night, all over the mid-screen HUD.
And of course, the idiot chooses the WORST course of action once again.
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Still commandeering the chariot, the madwoman is not satisfied with a simple dynamic entrance, she wheels the chariot around once more; NPCs near the sides are knocked flying by the large chariot wheels, the pair of tan-horses kick their front legs in the air, having recovered enough for yet another charge!
Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, but Neko-chan is not taking thrice for madness. Between mouthfuls of cursing and the word "JUMP!", she grabs the hem of my robes and barrels both of us out of the chariot; just as the tan-horses stomp the ground in a resounding shockwave, heeding the call to [Avancer Et Avancer]!
The both of us can only look on with aghast as Madi-san careens off the topmost mining platform, crashing through and utterly destroying the sloped linking platform onto the second platform; unfortunately there's no stopping this woman once she gets going; revving it up one more time, the chariot heads off for the lower cliff edge, leaping off and touching down on the ground floor with meteor-like impact, surrounded by aggroed NPCs who have swapped out their pickaxes for more murderous and stabbity-stab weapons.
We're cut off.
No, Madi-san cut herself off from us.
That idiot!
That brainless idiot...!
What is she thinking?!
Now we are in a far worse position than before, aren't we?
Neko-chan, who had been laying on top of me, immediately moves to salvage the situation, blitzing to the edge of the mining platform, scanning the bottom-most level with those cat-like eyes of hers.
"Not here..."
She flints a handful of colorful flares against her blade, throwing it upwards; the signal flares explode in the air like fireworks. Unlike the flashy ones that go up in my hometown during『Bon Festivals』, the flares draw three straight, green lines in the sky slowly enjoined by a waking sun, a message for the NPCs we left topside in our encampment.
"[Exposer]! Get the front gates open! The NPCs topside will come help..."
"What?! Do you think I NEED help?! I'm..." A pair of spears narrowly miss Madi-san's face in a cross-stab maneuver; she yanks at one of the spears, which causes the NPC to lose balance and knock into the other spear-user---
"Madi-san, if you can beat fifty NPCs AND open the gate... Neko-chan will praise you for completing a major stage objective!"
"I will do NO such thing!" Neko-chan entire body stiffens up with fists at both sides, horrified I would even propose something so out of character for her.
"... only if she 「dogezas」as well!!" Madi-san shouts back while smoothly leaning backwards under the chariot seat to avoid a decapitating blow.
"Now listen here, you nailbiting @#$%---"
I have to drag Neko-chan away at a forty-five degrees angle with her arms flailing to prevent her from throwing her straight-edged 『daikatana』at Madi-san.
"Neko-chan, was the cultivator at the bottom of the mines?"
"Obviously not! If I saw the target down there, I'd hope for her to take the [Exposer] out too!"
Right. So would I. All these NPCs are a distraction. Otherwise, Madi-san would have rushed straight for her like at the siege encampment. The real manga arc boss...
"... should be inside there."
I point to the suspicious wooden entrance built into the cliff face. It had been there since the beginning, but now the doors have mysteriously been left ajar, a thin slit of darkness peers at us between the formerly closed doors, as if beckoning us in.
"...?! Since when did that door appear...?"
"Since the very beginning...?"
Neko-chan looks at me quizzically, as if I had just used some sort of magickal power to pop a door out of nowhere. If having good observational powers is some sort of superhuman feat in [Vespana], I am guilty as charged. However, since we are in an isekai world where our powers should not have transferred over, clearly this is a character trait that is specific and can only be cultivated by someone like me, who has read over a hundred detective manga...
While I went off on a mental tangent, Neko-chan had already sidled up to the side of the entrance, motioning for me to stop thinking and follow her. When I reach up to her, she presses my back to the wall beside her with an arm, peeking into the slit of darkness.
"No entrance guards. Some small plinking, below. Probably more NPCs." Neko-chan loosens up her stance, her sensitive ears having told her that the coast is clear. Without wasting any movements, she puts her sword arm on the door.
"We breach the door, on three."
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Past the doors, the inside of the narrow cavern path is smaller, darker and more cramped than I expected. Neko-chan had already drawn her oversized blade out, occasionally tapping at the side of the walls or ceiling with the tip of her blade. This singular path slopes downwards, occasionally leading to siderooms with light plinking sounds, which Neko-chan is always careful to grab my sleeve and ward me off from alerting the NPCs within, which I am all too happy to oblige. This part of the mines doesn't reach the lower floors outside it seems, since I shudder at the thought of a certain purple-haired idiot shouting "nanda, nanda!" suddenly barging in and ruining this stealth operation.
At the end of the cavern path, we reach a suspiciously well-lit area, the next cavernous area covered off by luxurious black cloth with maple-reddish trim. Without exchanging a word, both of us understand what this is. I quickly duck behind Neko-chan, minimizing myself to hopefully avoid any conflict or trouble that is bound to arise next. Neko-chan readies her long blade in hanging-garde stance over her shoulder, cautiously lifting the veil to the imminent manga arc boss fight.
In the center of the circular room sits a woman with her back turned. Unlike the nice bandanna folks outside, she is wearing a bamboo hat tilted at a strange angle. Piles of ore dot the bare room, as she sits lotus-positioned on a circular mat made of black cloth. Wearing familiar greyish robes, a purplish, sinister aura permeates from her back, which only every so often heaves lightly to breathe. Falling near the side of her thighs is a small tuft of ponytail which I recognize now as the ends of a Daoist 【Horsetail Whip】 .
Clearly she is related to the nice and friendly black bandanna folks outside.
Right now, the optimal move is obvious. All Neko-chan has to do is to take a lesson in Sneak, tiptoe to the back of Culta Suprema's back, and [SFX:Whoosh]; with the swing of an executioner's blade, the deed is done, no fuss, no muss. A little roguish and underhanded maybe, but if there's anything I've learnt dealing with cultists with Madi-san, it is that cultists don't play fair either.
Obviously, that is not what Neko-chan has in mind.
I had forgotten.
Totally forgotten.
Neko-chan is from [Vespana] too.
Maybe Madi-san would have been on board, but...
When it comes to single combat, [Vespanolen] really love to...
"Turn around, foul cultivator...!
Mineko who serves the House of Yu has come to request a duel!"