第三十九回：🐎降懸崖膝蓋中箭，虎蹲山頂落石投機
[SFX: THUMP]
"What is that infernal noise?! If any of you quacks are doing construction THIS early..."
Tossing aside the command tent's flap, an angry duck searches for the source of this disturbance.
It did not have to search for long.
The [Representative On Mission] immediately shuts its bill, for it was now staring upwards; upwards at the same sight that had captivated half the camp!
A single rider is descending from the steep cliffs.
No, not descending, more like hopping vertically downwards the cliffs!
That single rider impossibly maneuvers her Chestnut with blazing red eyes, each small leap down the ragged edges lands her crazed steed with crashing hooves into the cliff face, bottom of the horseshoes swirling with dark energies. Each impact dislodges rock and debris from up high, its rider swaying dangerously at a near ninety degree vertical angle!
[SFX: THUMP]
Even as the furious duck curses the unknown intruder to the tune of a foreign 『ochiru, ochiru!』 [1] This sole rider defiant against gravity and common sense does not let go of her hold on the reins! When the last leap clears the steep incline onto the home stretch of curved dirt...
The purple-haired troublemaker leaps clear off the cliff face, into the encampment's one side not surrounded by wooden palisades!
[SFX: THUMP!!!]
[SFX: HWAAA!!!]
Dust and NPCs fly in all directions as Madi-san completes her uncanny descent from the mountaintop. Pulling her simple wooden bow from her back, she spins it around by the grip before laying eyes on the [Representative Duck].
YOU!!!
Madi-san points a knowing finger in the duck's direction, swinging her upper arm up and down with an accusatory flair. Immediately, everyone in the local vicinity turns into quivering jobbers, a thunderous blow to morale!
For the duck on special mission, it was like a thunderbolt poked straight through its chest. Whose scout is this? Not even the fiercest 【Claws and Fangs of Rei Ditu】 [2] would dare scale the mountains in this way. Staring into the clouds above the approaching rider, some quick calculations reminded this duck that the peak she descended from is four thousand six hundred and thirty five chi! Paralyzed in thought and wing, playing statues isn't going to get it out of this one!
Impossible!
She must have found some path around!
I assure you, Madi-san did not.
Is such a thing even humanely possible?!
What kind of horsemanship is this?!
Sxyrim riding, apparently.
"Hmm hmm! I ALWAYS chase after Lydia when I DAH her off Hxgh Hrxthgar! After a couple of times, you get used to the right jump distance so there's no fall damage!" Madi-san explains to the voice in the sky, but I'm not having any of it. What do you mean by Dah? You mean Dao, right?
Madi-san flicks the side of her hair in utter disrespect to those not in the know. I don't think shocked-to-the-gills ducky there has any idea who Lydia is, but a few thoughts definitely passed through its tiny brain then!
This girl...
If she is not mad,
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
then a fraud,
else...
"That's HER!! That's LU BU!!!"
Mohawk-san screams in horror, draping itself in the oddly soaked command tent flap.
"Why yes, I'm literally Lu Bu! I'm the strongest, after all---"
"Shut! Shut it!" Having come back to its senses after being momentarily stunned, spicy duck is on the menu again! Hot under its cyanic robes, it cut the air before it, waving a wing at the quack in front...
Fraud it is!
"Lu Bu is dead! You are just a horse archer pretending to be the god of war!"
"Ehehehe, don't you know that Lu Bu is also S-ranked for archery...!"
"Close the camp gates! Generals, take this fraud! You quack! If you know any better, you will dismount and bind yourself with ropes!"
"That doesn't work for me, brother!"
With a mighty kick of her ride's back legs, a fat duck in lamellar armor that was creeping from her side is knocked back a full fifteen chi into a tent, hitting the central tent pole and collapsing it on the fool!
As the steed wheels around, Madi-san swings half her body off to the side, hanging precariously off the flank, one leg hitched to the stirrup on the other side, she pulls a notched arrow back, aiming low!
Hit!
The direct shot flies low for a hundred paces, striking against the thin duck feet cartilage hidden under those cyanic robes!
"QUAR--- MY KNEE! MY KNEEEE!"
Madi-san rolls her eyes, a mischievous smile creeping across her face.
"Quoi putain tu parles?! A little arrow in the knee never hurt anyone!"
Ahhhh... They but do, Madi-san.
"ASSASSIN! ASSASSIN!! HEEELP! HEEEEELP! WHO SENT YOU?! WHO DUCKING SENT YOU!!!"
Lu Bu is wordless, rearing up her horse, she points directly upwards at the sky behind her!
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Right. That's the signal.
"Six degrees to the right, Yang Shi."
"Can you even see that far, little girl? Even with my 【Thousand Li Eye】, I am unable to pierce through all the clouds."
Let's just say that Madi-san and I share a unique connection.
It's magick, we don't have to explain sheeto.
The two of us stand next to an imposing wooden construction, built with springy rope, wooden beams and a swivel at the base. This is the device that Madi-san calls a mangonel. It is a surprise to me that Yang Shi immediately understood what Madi-san was describing, waving around those big hands of hers, and they both immediately set to work on one.
Pointed at the cliffside Madi-san leapt off from, the last of the three dozen refugees that stayed up here with us struggle to pull back the wooden arm loaded with the one thing this mountain did not lack.
Rocks.
Lots and lots of rocks.
The moment has come.
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At the highest peak of this mountain is a vacated temple. Up until early morning, it had been crammed with refugees from 【Xu Province】, catgirls, wolfgirls, foxgirls and other half-humans all fleeing the Duck Clan's [Constitutional Slavery]. They had gathered up here on the high mountain, sheltered by Yang Shi.
But food and clean water were fast running out, with the Duck Clan's main force ravaging through 【Xu Province】 and the 【Water Brigade】 blocking escape into 【Yan Province】, whatever small batches of those trying to break out separately were immediately caught when they reach the mountain's base. When we had cleared up our misunderstanding with Yang Shi, she led us further up the mountain, where we came across this sorry state of affairs.
Of course, Madi-san did what Madi-san does best...
"All we have to do, is break apart the main camp, am I right or right!?"
Idiot! If the other three thousand refugees here couldn't do it, what makes you think you can! You can't march right into the enemy's main camp and start demanding they release the slaves, right?! There are at least five hundred armed soldiers down there, did you not listen to Yang Shi?! Almost everyone here is unarmed except for the few crazy ones!
"Humph! Lu Bu always finds a way!" Madi-san raises her little pinky, as if indicating that murdering a thousand people everyday was like having lunch for her!
There she goes again, Oracion, stop her!
"... I can lead the escapees down the mountain."
Ah no no no no no, not that way! What's it in it for you, anyway?! Oracion, don't tell me you have some secret chara setting where you really dislike slave traders! This is not a good time to have that flag triggered! In any case, we should send a message to Daju to send help for us...
"You girls are absolutely crazy, little wonder that old cat appreciates you all!"
No! No! I'm perfectly sane! Leave me out of this!
"Then its decided! All I need is the direction of the main camp from here...
Oh! I'll also need this made!"
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Returning to present time, Madi-san had just reared her Chestnut horse back, pointed at the sky.
All the ducks in the camp took note, but did not know what that meant.
What was she pointing at?
The clouds?
The sky?
The mountain?
Or... the 【Celestián Palace】?
At that moment, the more superstitious in the camp came to a shared misunderstanding...
The heavens above...
... have sent a 【God-General】 to punish evil-doers!
"I have one last question, s'il te plaît!
What happened to all the other prisoners?"
Madi-san did not miss all the empty cage carriages that were waiting at the sides. All waiting to cram the last mountaintop escapees into certain servitude, they currently sit empty. Either nobody had come down in a long time, or...
The sneering quacks coming sideways on the floor bode no good intentions...
"Quack! They're long gone! GONE!
If not 【Imaishine Prison】,
then the brazier furnaces of 【Xiapi Castle】 !
You won't save anyone!!
Not when... UACK----!!!!!"
Sir, a second arrow has hit the knee!
Putting her bow aside temporarily, Madi-san breaks into her own malevolent laughter.
While she laughs, she makes nonsensical hand seals as her Chestnut steed also breaks out in a horrifying wide-mouth smile!
"Ehehehe...
... ehehehehehe!
Putain, faite cher, fils de pute!
You've got it all wrong...!
Do I look like some pink-haired moralist...?!
I'm the motherducking Lu Bu!"
As she says that, the first mangoneled rocks crash into the command tent from above!
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NEXT WEEK: The Falling Rain Brings A Sudden Tragedy, No Way Hag Conspiracy Girls Is A Comedy!
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TERMINOLOGY
[2] 【Claws and Fangs of Rei Ditu】 - 【爪牙】, refers to the vassals or fighting generals of a faction. Usually used in a derogatory way because it implies that the said faction is like a dangerous beast, and their vassals merely the weapons to carry out violence.
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[1] 『ochiru, ochiru!』 - Read 『落ちる,落ちる!』, which is a funny way of cursing someone to "fall down, fall down!" You shouldn't say this to incompetent detectives with motion sickness!