第十八回：安天師舉棒拒蘭龍，阿呀呀出招滅伏龍
The long and serpentine outline traverses the clouds as cover, only revealing a hint of cyanic scales where the overcast fails to shield frightful eyes. While less outrageously gargantuan than the one I saw above the mines, it must have measured at least thirty chi when fully straightened. There can be no doubt is any of our minds right now, that thing is...
... a dragon.
Those of us who have never comprehended the horrors of seeing one up close have already fallen to the ground with tears streaming down their eyes. Zhangji isn't going to be much help now, the way she is sitting 『wariza』 on the ground like that! By the way, I am totally fine, my legs aren't trembling right now!
"A 【Cyan Ryuu】..."
Daju is in awe at seeing the monster emblematic of 【Dusi Kuodo's】 tyrannical power. It circles the skies, like a predator slowly sizing up its prey in the well beneath it. We, who are in the know, are holding our breaths, not daring to make a move. What should we do now? Nobody knows. If only Madi-san were here...
Annalie, who has been disconnected from all the events of the story so far...
"Look, Aya-chan! A flying dinosaur!"
Huh?
I guess you could describe a dragon that way, but even in [Old Continental] histories, dinosaurs aren't dragons. They predate all of human civilization and... what are you doing, rubbing the dance pole like that...?!
Annalie had begun rotating and disassembling the dance pole from its base; unscrewing the base from the unwieldy pole, she lets it fall to the ground on the other end, holding her new weapon slanted downwards. The impact of the heavy metal pole is heavy enough to gouge a hole of wooden debris where it struck, a veritable instrument of power!
"Annalie... what are you trying to---"
"--- it don't look too friendly!"
Gripping the tail quarter of the dance pole with both hands, she lifts it upwards, pointing it towards the sky at an angle like a spear. That was no ordinary feat, for she just lifted one hundred and twenty jin of metal. Lever principle or not, that's not something humanely possible! Even Ying-onee had to partially lift her bamboo hat in wide-eyed shock.
Of course.
How could I have forgotten?
Madi-san once said this about Annalie: Unlike her, Annalie put her points in three areas:
FAI,
AGI, and...
... most importantly... STR.
"【Taishi】, we await your dictates---"
"Eh. Are you asking me? All I know is how to fight!"
Incredibly, Annalie loosens her off-hand to scratch the side of her bangs, before casually returning to gorilla-grip the makeshift polearm at a perpendicular forty-five degrees, constantly shifting her position to point towards where the dark outline traverses. If you could hold it with one hand, just hold it with one hand, already!
Ying-onee quickly grasps the situation, making desperate hand signs to the gathered crowd below.
"Non-combatants, ooooff the platform, nooooow---!"
The command came five syllables too late, for the ryuu decided that now was the time to strike!
Bursting forth from the clouds, its camel-faced snout resembled its celestial counterpart, replete with horns and fangs of monstrous visage. In its sudden descent, I can see now that its body is fully plated with dull cyanic scales, not unlike that of a snake's. Flailing white fins trail its descent, like those of ornamental goldfish you would raise in a traditional garden. A pair of wings with considerably undersized wingspans protrude from where its upper body would end---
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
SFX: [CRASH]
There is a sickening sound as the ryuu comes straight for the summit platform, reducing it into splinters in its rage. All of that rage seems to be directed at the one pointing a weapon at it, the rest of us being mere inconveniences! As it passed, the end of its 『koi-like』 tail swipes against me in a lethal blow...!
I'm not okay... I'm not okay...!
The whiplash blows me off the platform, my tiny body falling backwards in the air. I reach my hand out to grasp at something, anything at all, as time seems to blood-pumpingly stand still; remnants of wooden guardrails and smashed platform planks take flight alongside me and everything is a ringing silence. This short moment of zen-like clarity didn't last long; the plummet to the platform directly below the summit was painfully short.
I know Madi-san says that tail whips don't do damage but apparently she has never been hit with one by a dragon before! Look, the blood has all drained from my trembling fingers already! The only reason I have been saved from certain death is... this sinisterly purplish aura coating my body now!
"I'm noooot letting my 【Life-Protecting Talisman】 [2] slip away---"
Gee, thanks, you weirdo! How about something a little more on the offensive side next?!
My rapidly rising stress levels are not helped by seeing how Daju is lying on the opposite side of my platform, having snatched Zhangji's quivering body up just before the dragon collided with the summit, she was not able to avoid the brunt of the hit. Her modest chest rises and falls shallowly as she lays sprawled over Zhangji's facedown body, one side of her face dripping with tomato sauce that stains her disarranged orange hair.
Below the altar, the dragon had crashed into the mass of Black Bandanna disciples below; having received an order from their 【jishi】, the crowd scattered into loose retreating formations, but not fast enough. A full 【fang】 [1] of NPCs must have dissipated in the moment the ryuu attacked, with countless NPC bodies now melting into the ground and disappearing.
I'm sure that the dragon would have loved to bite, chomp and ragdoll a few more NPCs in its mouth, but it literally can't. Instead, it threshes about wildly, jaw propped open by the iron dance pole. Daju must have spared no expense in making the centerpiece of our bunnygirl club, because no matter how much it tried, it could not snap the loathsome cudgel that was lodged in its mouth!
Its writhing throws up mud on the altar grounds, which I did not appreciate! I'm definitely going to get a change of clothes after this...
And inside the foul dragon's mouth, propping up her makeshift weapon... is yet another fearsome beast.
Even as the dragon's head flings left and right to try and eject the unwanted oral intruder, Annalie held on tight to her weapon, already having lost her footing when the dragon raised its upper body perpendicular to the ground; black sparks mennifest in her two-handed overhand grip, an outrageous current is conducted through the pole...!
There is a reason why I never shake hands with Annalie. For the longest time, her [Mennifest] was an uncontrolled mess, randomly emitting sparks whenever she got excited. She would frequently play pranks on people not in the know, grasping their hand in a friendly and helpful manner, than out of nowhere... zap! Obviously! Since I am a brilliant deducer, I figured out her 'trick' by the third or fourth time!
Annalie goes on an [Electro-Trick]-fueled rampage inside the dragon's mouth. From my point of view, the dragon raves overhead as a lightshow of black electricity sparks a dxxxxe dxxxxe revolution in its mouth, the smell of burnt smoke rising from its mouth. Rapidly losing its strength, it falls to the ground on its side, dirt and debris sent flying in all annoying directions!
Taking this window of opportunity, the fake priestess tumbles out of the loosened jaw of the dragon, skidding to a halt by dragging the dance pole in the dirt behind her. You idiot! What if something happens to it?! There is a crazed, fiendish smile on her face, having not been able to let loose in a long time.
Furthermore...!
Idiot, why are you letting up your guard now! 'There's always a second phase', as your good friend Madi-san likes to say. Hurting a dragon is one thing, but defeating it?! Non non, you all obviously have not played any Souls games!
Football-sized eyes snapped open in green draconic rage, bloodshot and furious, its irises contracting so much that they now resemble dark cavernous slits. The very winds changed directions as it drew in all the air through its mouth, gathering it in a viridescent ball of elemental fury.
Before it got the chance to rear its head in Annalie's direction, a familiar circular splotch appears in dark purple below the entirety of our reptilian friend! A pair phantomic limbs scaled to abyssally absurd sizes emerge from each side, pressing the dragon down on the back of its neck and center back.
On the altar behind, Ying-onee had already rallied a 【fang】 of surviving NPC cultists, they are arrayed at the bottom-most wooden platform in all four directions, all emanating the same type of eerie purplish hue that their 【Jishi】 favors. I'm sure it would have been most impressive if I had turned around then, but I have more important things to do.
At that moment, the lead cultist waving a long command flag atop the broken altar yells at the little shadow who has now run all the way up the dragon's neck, now hanging off the side of the antlers...
"Is that offensive enough, crazy little oooone...???"
Yes.
「VERRY GOODO, FIVE-STARS.」
Reaching into the center of my robes for the sharpened rock which has been there all along.
[Reckless Ayaya] shall now do that.
First,
gouge the eyes and---
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NEXT: I Prefer To Remove The Eyes Of Dragons Not Paint Them On, Nobody Likes The Fat Duck Even If You Are Literally Chained To It
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TERMINOLOGY
[1] 【fang】 - Not to be confused with 'teeth'. A 【fang】 is a designation of troop strength; in the past the Cult of Black Bandanna fielded cultists in 【fangs】of six thousand to seven thousand. Now however, we would be lucky if we manage to muster a thousand, so a single fang is now fifty NPCs.
[2]【Life-Protecting Talisman】- 【护身符】, a small charm that is kept in a silk brocade and sealed with string. You are asking why Ying-onee is calling me that? Read, sheeple, read! I'm sorry! That was a bit mean! Really, truly sorry! But some things that happened during 'flower arrangement' don't have to be spelled out!
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[3] 『koi-like』- Koi are those very same ornamental fish I mentioned earlier. They are usually brightly colored with shades of orange, black and white.