第十五回：英雄饮酒谈兔女郎，大橘摆花招影祭师
Construction work began almost immediately after lunch.
Daju walked us to the center of the town, where the sad remains of a long-roofed place of reverence are left on display. The dilapidated roof ends in curved dragon statuettes crouching upwards to the sky; a green-bronze vessel [1] with three legs is all that is left in the bare courtyard overgrown with weeds.
"What do you think, is this location of use to you?" Daju turns to Madi-san, who is surveying the place with her hand blocking out the noonday sun.
"Yep! Tear it all down!
We're gonna build a bunnygirl club!"
A few hours earlier...
"Sister Madison, what is a bunnygirl...?"
Neko-chan is the most seiso-minded of us; she immediately leaps up, shaking the still-sitting, still cross-armed Madi-san by her chest straps.
"You can't be proposing such an obsc...!"
"Aren't there plenty of bunnygirl clubs up in [Arcadia], Neko-chan?" Madi-san wags a knowing finger at the [Arcadian] native, arms still folded under her unfairly sized chest.
"You know that's not the point! Those are properly run establishments overseen by---"
"Yap yap yap! What glowie's gonna stop us here? If a dragon comes knocking, good! I'll skin it, then hang its head in the main hall! 'It will make for a nice tourist attraction', as [Avalon] say likes to say!"
"N... nyah...! Don't bring [Master Avalon] up to defend your lunacy!"
"... but what's a bunnygirl to begin with?"
Daju looks upon this quibble with great ignorance, like a sweet child of summer who knows nothing about the degen and fallen world of adults. I have to pick my words carefully.
/Conspiracy/ Girls is PG-13 by the way.
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> Unnecessary Censorship Brought To You By DORO
A bunnygirl! Is someone who dresses up like a bunny! But is not an actual bunny! The ears on the head are fake! Don't be fooled! They wear partial clothing that starts with a shirtless collar, cuffed links, that leads to a tight-fitting bodice that ends with either fishnet stockings or dark pantyhose, depending on your preference...! This very adult establishment attracts people from all corners of the continent and...
"... so we don't have to hire actual 【bunnypeople】?"
That's what you are the most concerned about?!
"I am intrigued, it sounds like a 【Gathering-house of the Virtuous】[4]...!"
Daju, no! It has nothing to do with virtue!
While the less yabai-minded of us make very reasonable protestations, Madi-san had already called an NPC for brush and parchment, and started to paint a rudimentary floor plan and a list of materials to build the faculty. I'm amazed that boobs-for-brains can be big-brained at times, but it is always for the most trivial and ludicrous of reasons, like this one!
"Done! What do you think?!?!"
Madi-san flashes a stack of parchments with the floor plans and a crude drawing of herself in a bunnygirl outfit at the side. Daju's eyes flit across the paper, lighting up with the gleam of polished copper coins as she takes in the far-advanced ingenuity of modern continental living, 『yoshi』! Smelling the sweet scent of copper, Daju peers over the top of the parchment with hands trembling in excitement,
"How much would this cost, sister Madison?"
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
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Construction begins in earnest with NPCs in loose work clothes tearing down the old structure, Madi-san directing the deconstruction with a guard's helmet overlaying her own Fxxxxh cap as she points for the positions where the load-bearing walls should go, having become a pro in the construction business, supposedly through many hours of Fxxxnite and Pxxworld.
"【Taisho】 ... I..."
Neko-chan looks upon the destruction that is commencing, face buried in her hand.
"Its such a novel idea isn't it, cousin? I have not heard of such a fresh and bold thing since the 【Gathering-houses of the Virtuous】 were demolished by the duck regime...!" There is a childlike excitement in Daju's movements, even her fuzzy orange tail is swishing left and right in motions I've never seen before.
Neko-chan and I are silently in agreement that Daju seems to have some crucial misunderstanding about what a bunnygirl club is, but since our hearts are filled with seiso [2] energy, we did not speak our minds out loud.
"... I shall take a leave of absence for now.
【Taisho】, please tell me if you hear news of my sisters..."
Our orange catgirl embraces Neko-chan in a full-hearted hug, patting her on the back while Neko-chan hangs her hands limply, eyes dead-fished and mouth slightly open.
D-don't expect me to stop Madi-san, you know how she's like!
Neko-chan has fled the battlefield!
"Hmm hmm, enemy officer defeated!"
Madi-san pores over a scrolled parchment, her maniacal designs hastily imprinted on them. How she intends to recreate conveniences from our world, I have no idea. All I know is that the NPCs work fast, taking no breaks in tearing down the old foundations for our great leader.
"While the foundations are being made, we need to start thinking about interior décor... NOW!"
"I can recommend a good craftsperson in the third and sixth streets..."
Madi-san and Daju are really into this hostess business bit, but I have to point out a major flaw in their plan:
"Madi-san, who's going to staff the place?"
Like a locomotion screeching to a halt, Madi-san's thinking stops dead in her tracks. She looks over to the moderately sized Daju, then slowly turns her head to the small and cute (me), and lets out a spoken sigh of exasperation.
Rude.
"Daju!! We have a BIG problem! Bunnygirls ... have standards!!!"
Madi-san makes a ballish circular motion around her chest like that one joke character from a certain scissorsy, sisterly anime explaining the futility of our personnel problems right now. I am offended. I'm even sorry for anyone who might be offended on my behalf! Sorry for being small and cute! Daju, why are you nodding in agreement as if you understand? No! You don't understand! You can't...!
"I can't recall Ou Nygai from scouting duty, but I can help think of something."
Do we have another booba-fiend in the city...?
"That is... if sister Ayano would take a walk with me?"
... me?
What do I have to do with this?
Daju took a fair bit of time out of our walk to haggle with the merchants in the streets, excitedly relaying the plans for a new bunny haven to the NPCs. Apparently, haggling is an art-form here, since you do it with silent hand-motions that look like rapid ninja hand seals until an agreement is made. I don't think I will get how it is done, but that's why Daju is the merchant and I am the detective.
Crossing half the city into the night, we pass the gate at the north side. [3] This corner of the city is a little more run-down, and looks to be mostly devoid of NPCs. The only people I see are two NPCs wearing city guard armor crossing halberds before a small building.
The building stands behind a small 『torii』 painted in fading red. Yellowed talismans I cannot read are stuck to its two pillars; which makes me wonder if this is sacred ground or if this place is trying to ward off evil spirits. The small wooden building behind the 『torii』is insignificant, I would not even call it a shrine, calling it a small shack or storage room would be more appropriate. Still, the shack's triangular and tiled roof curls up at the end in curved creepiness, which makes me wonder what kind of house of horrors this is.
I didn't have to wonder long, since Daju headed straight for that suspicious building, the guards letting both of us through.
"What's wrong, sister Ayano?"
Daju had just taken one step through the foreboding wooden sliding door when she noticed that I stopped; just short the wooden steps welcoming us into the yawning gloom within.
"Ah... I was just wondering what this place is?"
"Don't worry, it's just where I do my 'flower arrangement'."
She smiles at me with closed eyes and tilted head, knowing that I would understand. I do understand the words in a literal sense, but I am pretty sure that she meant something else. My detective's instincts are telling me to run, but I'm curious.
And so, curiosity killed the cat.
When I stepped through the door into the darkness,
Daju slid the wooden doors shut.
"Is that yoooou, little oooone???"
Ah. I recognize this crowing.
Four flaming torches light up in each corner of the room.
I can now see clearly what 'flower arrangement' meant.
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> "Very competitive." - Ayano Sane
Strapped to a very comfortable chair with both arms held down on the armrest is Ying Zuixu, robed in loose white and blindfolded, she is lucky to not see the wondrous collection of flower arrangement tools arrayed on the walls.
Fine sickles to chop off wayward leaves,
pliers to pluck and dislodge molars and morasses,
all manner of blunt and spiked instruments,
hang hooked and ready on the walls.
"As a rule, I don't like working with cultivators.
... but I'm a big believer in benevolence and redemption."
Please don't say that with such a scary face, Daju...!
This isn't Hinaxxxxwa...!
Even if the cultie seated there is literally Axxxn,
/Conspiracy/ Girls is still a PG-13------
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NEXT: What Yabai Things Would Bandits Do With Our Dance Pole Anyway, I Know This Familiar Face Its The Fake Priestess!
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TERMINOLOGY
[1] Vessel - A 【鼎】is a sort of ceremonial cauldron, nowadays you see it used more in rituals. To 【问鼎】is to light incense on the vessel and beseech the gods for assistance.
[3] Ancient Cities - Its never described since I assume people who read xianxia isekai know, but cities in magickalchugokuland are built in squares. There are gates at the north, south, east and west. Even the districting is squarish. - Author-kun
[4]【Gathering-house of the Virtuous】- 【聚賢庄】, a place where heroes gather and partake in delicacies. In isekai terms it would be a 'tavern'.
GO GO AND LEARN MOONRUNES WITH AYA-CHAN!
[2] Seiso - The opposite of yabai, to be seiso is to be pure of heart and clean of mind. O-of course I am seiso, Aya-chan and I are the most seiso out of you cast of rabble-rousers!