Chapter 81

Goblin and Bestie Connections

Chance of Mutiny: 00%

243 levels until fleet evolution.

The black sand never stopped! The fog was so thick that it was hard to see further than ten feet, or further than 5 black boots, step or skip. Roads of black sand led us through the city. Black water-smoothed boulders lined the roads. We passed thickly thatched buildings until arriving at BlackHill tavern. It was as big as Mr.Hiccup’s mansion in Lap-san-sandwhich! Even the walls were thatched. When we passed inside, the thatch was as deep as I was tall. Thicky, thatchy!

Inside, all the furniture was thatched! Might as well been bales of hay that made tables and chairs. Somehow, the furniture was much more pretty than simple bales. They were sheared to perfect circles and squares and other shapes with all kinds of sides and curves. And Hurlicorns filled the space! There were so many ram’s horns! Lots of snorting, too. There were two kitchens set far apart. One kitchen was guarded.

“This way,” said Belut.

I followed him to a thatched table. A gray-furred Hurlicorn spoke with Belut. Moments later, Belut’s Hurlicorn friends joined us at the table. They must have been his friends because Belut laughed and smiled and snorted and knew each one by name. I laughed too, but only because laughter was sometimes contagious. The heels of my boots crunched my bale seat as I swung my legs. Hurlicorns with stained aprons delivered tankards of water at our table. The tankards were so big, I had to use two hands to lift mine.

Mouth open, on the brink of guffaws, I listened to Belut recount his deal with Ogo and his adventure over sea on an evolving ship of goblins.

“That’s me!” I said, laughing.

The Hurlicorn with cracked ram horns said, “And where is this beer?”

I whipped out a dreambon ale from my inventory, wrestled the cork out with my teeth, and poured a libation upon the straw covered floor. The air split in half. A thick and furry brown leg stepped through. The rest of Thrush followed.

“Hello. I’m Thrush.”

“I’m Barnacle-eyes!”

“I’m Gabby!”

The inn fell dead silent. I choked on laughter and snorted laughter while all the Hurlicorns seemed to hold their breath. Every pair of eyes that I looked into turned beady and looked from Thrush to the exit.

Belut slapped the Hurlicorn with cracked ram’s horns on the back. “It’s all right Yulidd. Thrush has Hawkin’s beer.”

I took a moment for Yulidd to compose himself, and several gulps seemed to help him through that. At last he beckoned Thrush to the back of the inn. Down the long corridor between two kitchens, I watched Thrush unload chimeric colored barrel after barrel.

“Belut,” I said. “Why are there two kitchens? Why is one of them guarded?”

“I’m glad you asked. I’ve ordered us a few bowls of woolbane broth!” Gabby stepped forward and licked her lips. “I’ve ordered some for you too, Gabby.”

“Oh please thank you!” With that, Gabby hopped up onto the bale beside me. We both swung our legs.

Belut gestured to the kitchens. “One is for every other food you might want. The guarded kitchen, the one with the chef, is where woolbane juice is prepared. They’re extracting the juice right now. Watch closely, Admiral.”

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I got my monoscope ready in a firm clutch. Gabby and I leaned forward and peered. In the guarded kitchen, fire suddenly exploded from the middle of a deep brick oven. A hulking Hurlicorn with wavy horns wielded long thick tongs. With those tongs, he pulled a long gray leaf from a barrel and held the tongs so that the leaf burned in the middle of the fire. The flames turned purple, then red, then green, then blue! When the tongs were removed from the fire, the leaf had not perished! It was black and leathery. Guards leapt out of the way as the hulking Hurlicorn transported the single leaf into a cauldron above another roaring fire. It was placed on a grate. The cauldron’s lid was heaved on, and heavy metal clamps secured the lid. The fire was stoked with big snorty breaths from at least six knelt Hurlicorns. Something bubbled inside the cauldron. It shook!

“Is it ready?” said Gabby. “Is it like jelly, shark, or onion?”

“Is it like garlic?” I said.

Belut shushed us.

When the cauldron settled down, the clamps were removed. The lid was then pried off, and the leaf was again moved by tongs onto a flat wooden surface with a single groove that ran through the surface of the wood from the middle. A block of wood was heaved onto the surface. As the Hurlicorn chef watched on, Hurlicorns beat the wood block with giant wooden mallets that were all split at the end like broom bristles.

“Smish, smash!” Gabby and I chanted.

The Hurlicorns smished and smashed until the chef had had enough. He said so with a sudden, “Stop!”

Belut nudged me. “Look!”

Gabby and I rose and peered harder. So did everyone! A short stream of green liquid dripped from the groove between the blocks and into a metal bowl.

Across the inn at the other kitchen, a Hurlicorn shouted, “Bowls for woolbane broth! Six, ready!”

The chef slowly scooped the liquid with a spoon. He held it above the bowl. “Guutul, what do I have?”

“One drop of woolbane extract,” said Guutul.

The chef asked the same question to each Hurlicorn that guarded that kitchen. Liipel, Jeeja, Huntoon, Fetweer, and others all answered the same: “One drop of woolbane extract, chef!” They escorted the chef across the inn to the other kitchen while the chef protected his spoon. He tipped the spoon over 1 of six waiting bowls. A drop of green liquid fell into the soup. The soup was quickly lidded and moved to a further table.

“Are they going to do that for every one?” said Gabby. “Why?”

“More than one drop is lethal,” said Belut. “The chef is being very careful.”

They went back and forth, protecting the spoon for every bowl. The chef was very adamant that several hurlicorns double check the quantity of woolbane juice in his spoon every single time. When all six contained one drop of woolbane juice each, the bowls were delivered to our table. By then, Thrush, Yulidd, and another Hurlicorn returned and joined us.

“What are we waiting for?” said Belut. “Welcome to Fiberthorn Cove, new friends. Drink.”

I learned from watching. I removed the lid from my bowl. A cloud the color of frog skin escaped the soup. Little bubbles popped in a green oily broth. Gabby and I watched Thrush down the whole thing in one gulp. He rubbed his belly and his eyes pulsed and throbbed in their sockets.

I sipped.

Instantly, I felt Gabby’s presence beside me. It felt like she was a sister! She meant so much to me. Giggles bubbled up from my belly. Gabby laughed too and her eyes were happy-big. Why did I feel like I’d known her all my life? I realized that she meant the world to me. I would do anything to protect her, and by extension all my goblin family!

“How do you feel?” said Belut.

“Like a warm belly rub after a good burp,” said Gabby. “That’s what Slime-tooth used to say after a good day.”

“Did he?” I said.

Wow, just thinking about Slime-tooth made my heart ache. The ache was more spikey than ever before! I missed him so much!

“Woolbane broth is a Hurlicorn custom,” said Belut. “It’s also called Kin-broth. I don’t think it works from goblin to Hurlicorn, but it works from Hurlicorn to Hurlicorn and goblin to goblin.”

Thrush’s ears switched forward. He stared at the floor. “And from bestie to bestie. I can feel them like they are brothers and sisters.”

Funny fuzzy feelings bubbled all around inside. They were happy feelings, strong feelings of camaraderie and kinship. I felt so connected to Gabby, my crew, and Slime-tooth.

“Goblins are amazing,” I blurted.

Yulidd smiled. “There’s a lot of you stranded here. All over the place. You lot can stink, you know. Wouldn’t hurt no one to take some goblins with you!” The hurlicorns laughed together.

But—oh!—that was such a good idea. Stranded goblins were the best goblins to recruit. Fleet evolutions were surely on the horizon, and that meant I would need new Captains and Commodores and sloops and ketches and jolly boats and luggers!

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll take them!”

“Please thank you!”

“Where are they?” I said.

Yulidd pointed at the wall of the tavern. “There’s a shack over… Eh—easier if I show you. Let’s fill our bellies, then I’ll show you!”