Chapter 158

Be Firm, Admiral!

Barnacle-eyes

Chance of Mutiny: 85%

“Wake up, Admiral!” said a little squirrely thing. “Wake up!”

There was something in Boggo’s voice that had me bolting straight up. A bright flash of a giant firefly’s blinking butt lit up one of the portholes in the deckhouse. Boggo tugged on my hand and strained to pull me by the arm.

“There’s a secret meeting going on right now,” he said. “Right now! The captains I heard whispering are all together. Hurry, get up!”

“What? Hunh? What-where?”

Boggo's grip slipped, and he fell back. He flipped to all fours and galloped off. His tail was unusually poofed in alarm. I could see his ratty tail through the blue fur.

I stumbled to my feet, and fought to put my boots on the right foot. My eyes felt puffy, and my mind felt dazed. I wished I had gotten more sleep!

As I trailed Boggo out of the deckhouse, I took a quick look at my chance of mutiny. I choked on a gasp. It was way too high! I felt like it was going to keep rising; but at the same time, I was shocked that it kept rising.

Pressing at the moment was Boggo’s squeaky insistence. I followed him down the long deck of the Hand-O’War in the pre-dawn light. That’s when something dawned on me too. Captains were whispering in secret? That was a sure thing of potential mutiny!

Monstrous fireflies were everywhere! I had to duck under some and doge others. One of them zipped around my feet, and I had to hop over it. We crossed the gangway to a galleon, then descended another gangway to a ketch, and then flew down another gangway to a sloop. Head down for speed, I raced for the deckhouse.

“This way, Admiral!” said Boggo.

I slid to a stop on the slick deck, and I spun around. Boggo hopped up and down near the hatch and pointed at it.

He did his best to throw open the hatch. I flung it wide, and we descended to the cargo hold. We tiptoed down the corridor to the goblins quarters. I heard their hushed whisper-shouts along the way.

“I like it. It’s risky, but it’ll pay off.”

“Yeah, with all of us combined, it’s a sure thing.”

“I hate her.”

“Oh me too, I really hate her.”

“I bet she’s not even a real goblin.”

“That’s what One-eye said.”

“Since he’s got single vision, he probably sees more clearly.”

“You guys are right. She’s stupid. How did we end up with an Admiral like her, anyways? Why wouldn’t any of us be a better Admiral?”

“I can’t stand one more day on this fleet. Nothing ever happens! We sit and nothing, we eat and nothing, we fish and nothing.”

“When will we go raiding? I’ve been with Barnacle-eyes for more than a year and we haven’t raided even once. Not once!”

“I wanna go raiding!”

“Yeah, me too. All she does is hoard. If we raided, then we could take our cuts, fair and square.”

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“Stupid hoarder!”

“I hate hoarders! I bet that’s why she won’t let us go raiding!”

I heard the pad of soft footsteps behind me just as Boggo and I waltzed in. Gabby slipped in right after us. She rubbed her bleary eyes. All the Captains in the quarter groaned like their fun had been ruined. They threw their hands up and cursed under their breaths. Their reaction to my presence hurt worse than their words.

“Well, well, well,” said Rip-roar. “If it isn’t stupid. Finally come to crash the party with all her stupid talk. Isn’t that right, stupid?”

“That’s no way to speak to me,” I said.

“Says you. And you’re stupid.”

“What’s going on? What kind of meeting is this?”

Old Wrinkle-twinkle shuffled his feet. “Admiral, I don’t agree with these snots. I just came to listen.”

“Agree with what?” I said. “What are you all planning?”

Neigh-nose crossed his arms and glared at me. “You never let us go on raids. We wanna raid, and we wanna raid now!”

“There’s no one to raid here,” I said. “And why would we raid when we can trade? Raids are too risky! Many goblins would die for the sake of any worthwhile loot. And if we’re careful and only raid small villages, we’re not going to earn much. Nowhere near how much we do when we trade. Trust me, I’ve been on raids before.”

Drip-ding said, “Raids are the best! I used to go raiding too, and we earned lots of stuff.”

“Trading is much more profitable!” I said. I could prove it. What did you earn on your biggest raid?”

“A whole chest of wine! A pitchfork! Pickles. Those pickles lasted me five whole months.”

“I know you’ve earned a couple pieces of gold since you’ve been on my fleet. Do you know how many pickles that can buy you? Decades of pickles. That’s why trading is better.”

“That’s just stupid-sense coming from someone stupid like you. If one raid earns me five months of pickles, then two or more raids would equal…”

“A lot more!” said Rattle-noggin.

“Not just that. A lot many more!” said Neigh-nose

“Yeah, a lot many more!” said Drip-ding. “And like Slime-tooth says, a lot many more is a lot more than just a lot.”

Almost all the goblins agreed with that. They nodded as if there were no truer truth. And as they began talking over each other, I raised my voice because I had to take command. I was the Admiral after all.

“Hold on, hold on!” I said. “You’re missing the point. Goblins die in raids. It’s not worth anyone’s life on my fleet. You’re my family. I don’t want any of you to die.”

Heavy-foot blew a sharp laugh. “I’ll never understand why your name isn’t Scaredy-cat!”

“Yeah, or Lily-livered!” said Neigh-nose.

“Or Yellow-bellied!” said Rattle-noggin.

“I earned my very own name on a raid!” I said. “I almost lost this eye! I know what I’m talking about.”

“It doesn’t matter what your name is, where you’ve been, or what you did,” said Cross-knuckle. “We don’t like you. And we’re going to go raiding whether you let us or not. Didn’t we see some farms up the coast?”

“Saw ‘em,” said One-eye.

Old Wrinkle-twinkle stepped up. “I’m with our Admiral on this one. When you snots get older, you’ll realize that it isn’t worth dying for. And I’ve never made this much coin in all my hard working life.”

Drip-ding rolled his eyes one way and then the other way. “Shut up, Old Wrinkle-twinkle! Nobody likes you either. We’re gonna raid as soon as we can.”

“I’m the Admiral. We’re not raiding. And that’s final.”

“That’s just what a goblin poacher would say! If you wanna be like that, fine. We’ll just go on our own. We’re safer going on raids than staying here with you and your cheese!”

Once again most of my crew nodded. I couldn’t believe it. I stood, balking with wide eyes. But it was really happening. My balk turned into a gawk when my jaw hung down.

This was it. My Chance of Mutiny was rapidly rising. I was going to lose goblins and ships. By myself, how would I hope to stop this from happening? How could I stop them in the first place? Was it better for them to leave than to mutiny?

I couldn’t picture my fleet with a bunch of my ships stolen right out from under me. Would we sail with a handful of goblins? Would there even be enough goblins to man however many ships are left? I needed a whole crew just for the Hand-O’War.

Maybe I was going to be left by myself. No, I definitely had loyal goblins. How many, though? And those that don’t leave, but aren’t quite that loyal, would they eventually mutiny?

My quest path! What was going to happen to it? Peg-tooth was sure to be disappointed in me. If he’d been watching me before my promotion to Admiral, he was most certainly going to stop keeping his eye on me after I lose everything.

Then there was Slime-tooth, my like-a-father. I couldn’t handle his disappointment. I was even letting Hawkin down, too. He said I was the best goblin he’d ever met. I even promised him I’d be the best. Now I was taking one big giant step back in my big black boots.

So much was on the line. Right on it; right on the thinnest line I could imagine. I had to remember what Hawkin said. I was a good leader. I had to stay true to my quest path. I needed to be a firm Admiral! I couldn’t give in. I couldn’t lose it all.

“As your Admiral, I command all my Captains to stay with the fleet. We’ll work this out. I’ll prove to you it’s better to trade than to raid for meager things and risk death.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” said Drip-ding. “It’s clear you want us to leave. We’re taking our ships, too! What are you going to do about it? Attack us with your harpoons? You have none.”