Chapter 179
For Bollo, Egga, and Leggo
The fog had lifted, and the sloop was zigzagging over the sea. A hot sun warmed the wood of the deck, but it relaxed my toes.
Stumble-not followed me across deck. The little besties climbed him like he was an infinite tree. They leapt across his shoulders, bounded over his head, swung from the creases of his shirt, dove into his pockets, hid behind his ears, wrestled with his thumb, tunneled under his shirt, scrambled up his back, and scrabbled under his arms.
When the goblin’s hands quested for the little besties, in particular when they tickled him, they squealed and sped around his torso like they were being chased. When they dove into his Every time they leapt from his hand, he said, “Oop!”, “Yip!”, “Oopsy!”, and carefully caught them. Stumble-not was supremely gentle with them.
“Ella was past due for a big ‘ol nap,” I said. “I wish we could switch bodies. Sometimes I feel so useless.”
“Captain Ella is the best Captain I’ve ever worked under,” said Stumble-not.
“Yeah. Same. Listen, you’re uncle Stumble-not now. Don’t let a single one out of your sight.”
“Aye aye, temporary Captain!”
I skittered up the goblin and hopped onto his shoulder. “All right, that way!”
As Stumble-not lurched forward, my little besties squealed and hung onto his collar. The garlics were coming up quite fast. Some of them had red blades of grass. The onions were slow to follow. Remember-not and Knot-knuckle napped in the dappled shade of chamomile flowers.
We reached the prow to find Barnacle-eyes wrestling with Stink-lip. He seemed very adamant on climbing on the bow where a figurehead might be. Barnacle-eyes tugged on his arm; Stink-lip tugged on his arm.
“We’re not doing that anymore!” said Barnacle-eyes.
“I spilled my spit beer,” sniffled Stink-lip. “I think I know what I deserve.”
“Stink-lip, stop! This is my ship, and I make the rules. No goblin should ever be hung as the figurehead!”
“Are you sure?”
“I keep telling you. You have to believe me.”
“She’s right,” I said.
“Then how should I be punished?” said Stink-lip.
“No one’s going to be punished for spilling beer,” said the Admiral.
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“Really? Like, really-really? Then why isn’t there a figurehead? It's so empty.” Stink-lip turned to the prow. AS if from a daze, he said, “…it’s…it’s calling me.”
Barnacle-eyes hauled the goblin away from the bow. “Why don’t you go water the garlics and onions.”
“If you’re sure…” Stink-lip gave the bow a good look before he sped off to the raised beds.
Barnacle-eyes heaved a huge breath of relief. She patted her hands together. “Well if it isn’t the newest additions to my crew. I knew the day would come. I thought if sloop rats multiply, sloop besties must multiply too!”
One by one I said, “This is Bollo, Egga, and Leggo”
Barnacle-eyes tried to introduce herself to each one. They scrambled all over Stumble-not when her giant green hands tried to pick them up. A simple hello from Barnacle-eyes wasn’t left to one word. Oh, no, she had a lot to say! Whenever she reached for one of the besties I smacked the back of her hand.
“They’re so fast!” she said. “Well, welcome aboard little besties. We’ll put you to work right away!”
“No, no, no. It’ll be a while before any of that can happen. Barnacle-eyes, we gotta chat. I’m counting on you to make sure that they don’t get stepped on or sat on or anything on-ed!”
“Well, goblins are goblins.”
“No, no, no. You’re the Admiral. You gotta make sure every goblin on your crew knows that they have to look out for the little besties. They gotta watch where they stomp, where they nap, where they run.”
“We’ll make it a new rule. It’ll be rule number two!”
“And that goes for future freebooters too,” I said. “Your crew is bound to get bigger and bigger.”
“Oh yeah, I can’t wait!”
“You have to make sure that every new crew member knows that the baby besties must be protected.”
“Within the day, every goblin will know to watch out for the sloop besties and to be careful, and that they must be protected,” she said.
“And no eating them! Little besties are not for roasting like sloop rats! I’m gonna chew a hole through your sloop if any of them go missing!”
“No eating little besties. I promise.”
Bollog, Egga, and Leggo were chasing each other beneath Stumble-not’s shirt. The goblin twirled himself round in an attempt to reach them, giggling hysterically the while.
“What was that with Stink-lip?” I said as the world spun around me.
“Like Slime-tooth always says, old habits are hard to kill until they’re dead-dead.”
When Stumble-not finally came round about, the sun was in my eyes. It was there like a big bright idea.
“Would you say that all your goblins look up to Slime-tooth?” I said.
“Of course they do! He’s the best goblin that ever lived.”
“What if I carve a huge Slime-tooth sculpture for a figurehead? I’ve made a mini version before and your goblins loved that one. Maybe they can strap it onto the bow together. It’ll be a little bonding experience for everybody. Then Stink-lip and the other goblins from Gloom-glower’s ship might finally feel like the past is behind them.”
“Wow!” said Barnacle-eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a goblin statue that big! Come to think of it, not even Peg-tooth has something like that!”
The Admiral fell in love with the idea. She went on about how awesome it would be to have a giant Slime-tooth, a symbol of the best a goblin could be. As she went on, I rubbed my chin. There was a way to benefit from the massive project.
I knew how much the goblins looked up to Slime-tooth. Ella and I had helped to inadvertently establish him as a god figure. They revered the last statue I made of him, so surely they would revere an even bigger one! The best thing to do then would be to carve three little besties in Slime-tooth’s arms. That way if Slime-tooth the goblin god protected the besties, each of the goblins should know to look out for them too. And maybe a couple of campaigns wouldn’t hurt to threaten what might happen to a goblin if they didn’t help Slime-tooth protect the little besties…