Chapter 189

Arrangements

Like a stiff board upon a green sea of goblins, Slime-tooth’s body was brought aboard Barnacle-eyes' sloop. They moved altogether like an oozing liquid across deck. Slime-tooth’s body was passed overhead to the starboard taffrail. Gabby gripped one of his ankles, and Barnacle-eyes gripped the other. A pair of goblins took up his arms. All four began swinging him like they meant to toss him overboard.

“One,” said Gabby. “Two, and—”

“S-stop!” I said. “What are you doing?”

Barnacle-eyes wiped her eyes with one hand. She looked at me, her bottom lip quivered, and her chin scrunched.

“Slime-tooth was a freebooter, so we’re putting him back at sea,” said Pinky-chew.

“Okay,” said Gabby. “One, two, and—”

“Wait, wait, wait!” I said. “Barnacle-eyes, is this what you want?”

“No, but we have to,” she said.

“Let’s think about this. Bring Slime-tooth into the deckhouse.”

The goblins were clearly perplexed. Each one whispered to their neighbor who answered with shrugs. On Barnacle-eyes’ weary commands, they moved Slime-tooth’s body to the deckhouse. Abigail, Thrush, Hiccup, Riggvelt, and Eric met us there.

“Uh, what are we doing?” said Pinky-chew, who seemed offended. “Slime-tooth belongs at sea.”

“What happens when a goblin dies?” I said.

“If they drown, there’s not much to do. If they die aboard, we throw them overboard. Do humans seriously not know this stuff?”

“Okay, so then what about when a captain dies?”

“Same thing,” she said. “All goblins go back to the sea.”

“Is there any sort of ritual done before that?”

“Like magic? A spell?”

“I think what Hawkin is trying to say is that humans would want to give Slime-tooth a respectful burial,” said Abigail.

“No!” said Pinky-chew. “No burial. That’s not how goblins do things. He’s gotta go back to the sea.”

I looked to Hiccup and said, “We can’t just toss him overboard.”

“The city wouldn’t like that,” he said, “and Barnacle-eyes will incur a fine, but if that’s what she wants, I can cover the fine. However, they may bar her from mooring.”

“How are sailors usually buried?”

“If at sea, the body is typically wrapped in weighted sailcloth and given to the waves below,” said Riggvelte.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

“How do you know this?” said Hiccup.

“A butler must be prepared for every scenario, Master Hiccough.”

“Maybe around here,” said Eric. “Me da’s da was a whaleman. They threw him in his skiff on peat and timber and set him ablaze on the water.”

In a small voice, Barnacle-eyes said, “Slime-tooth liked the fires when we were allowed to have them.”

Once more I looked to Hiccup. “What are the city's regulations on that?”

“I can have a chat with the officials,” he said, “but I’m certain they’ve only got a mile of jurisdiction at sea. Beyond that, there’s nothing they can do.”

I squatted to talk with Barnacle-eyes. “What if we gave Slime-tooth a funeral rite at sea? You could build a small boat to set on fire. And we could all be there together.”

“It would allow time for a ceremony to honor his life,” said Abigail.

“Like a final goodbye thing?” said barnacle-eyes with big glossy eyes.

“Like a final goodbye thing,” I said.

Barnacle-eyes bowed her head, and she touched her chin. I saw her brows furrow. As she seemed to go deep into thought, I delved into my thoughts.

Slime-tooth was indeed quite the goblin. I had known him from the beginning of our relationship to be firmly for goblins. He cared for his green folk with a huge heart. What a goblin he was to have earned such genuine admiration from all these goblins.

“I don’t think any goblin has ever had a funeral before,” said Barnacle-eyes.

She looked to her goblins as if any one of them might educate her on the matter. I could almost see them think as they chewed their lips or their tongue or the inside of their cheeks. Over a few moments, they all shook their heads. Not a single goblin had ever heard of a goblin funeral?

“Never heard of it,” said Gabby.

“No one’s ever mentioned giving a goblin a funeral,” said Pink-chew.

Sweet-thumps stammered for a moment before he locked his voice. “Gloom-glower was afraid of mutiny, and even he never mentioned a funeral for himself.”

“Then Slime-tooth will be the first,” I said. “He was a special goblin, wasn’t he?”

Goblins began nodding to each other. Barnacle-eyes out her face in her hands, and she cried. “O-okay,” she said through her fingers before lowering her hands. “Let’s give him a funeral b-b-because he was a special goblin.”

We sat with Barnacle-eyes around the deckhouse table and coordinated the funeral. Both goblins and humans were eager to contribute, and I was pleased to see that the humans were quite respectful of the goblins' wishes.

Barnacle-eyes wished to build Slime-tooth’s boat by herself. Thrush supplied a few trees on deck, and humans began dividing the trunk while goblins ripped the branches off. Leafy limb by leafy limb and rough plank by rough plank, we handed supplies down to Barnacle-eyes as the boat slowly came together.

As it did, goblins began to grow more excited.

“Add some thwarts,” they said.

“A sideways mast,” they said.

“A crow’s nest on every corner.”

“Davits.”

“But what would go on the davits?”

“I don’t know,” they said.

“Add extra bailing buckets.”

“And bailing ladles!”

Thrush and I meanwhile watched Barnacle-eyes work from the taffrail. The goblins worked hard to be sure barnacle-eyes had all the pieces she needed. At least one hundred goblins were pushing forward for a chance to help. Slime-tooth should have been around goblins like this in the last years of his life.

“Goblins don’t live very long,” said Thrush.

“Yup,” I said.

“Same with humans.”

“That’s all I’ve been thinking about lately.”

“Will you reach diamond rank?” said Thrush.

I shifted from foot to foot and readjusted my lean against the taffrail.

“How about fable rank?” said Thrush. “Then would you live even longer.”

Fable! I chuckled. “Probably. If diamond rank adds a couple of centuries to your life, then fable rank would have to add…I don’t know. Maybe a millenia? I’ve only heard rumors.”

“My dreambons will be evolving in a few thousand years. I’m hungry to share them with you.”