Chapter 171
Like-A-Grandfather
Chance of Mutiny: 0%
The raised beds were filled with fresh soil. Bulbs of garlic and onion were buried beside companion plants which Abigail had helped us plant. The soil smelled like rocks and the underside of wet leaves. All that work deserved a mouth and belly filling feast, so Stumble-not cooked us up some fish-on-sticks and clams-on-sticks. Knot-knuckle fed Remember-not as she set up her telescope. The sun was going down, and a harsh orange was on the horizon just above the Mist Hidden wall.
“Where’s the sloop besties?” said Gabby.
“They’re not coming down,” said Stumble-not.
“But we’ve got hot fish-on-sticks!”
“That’s what I said! Boggo told me to beat it. Wouldn’t let me set foot up there.”
Pinky-chew said to Slime-tooth, “So you make the famous ptooey?”
“I do!” said Slime-tooth. “We’ll have to make some soon.”
“Spit beer is the best,” said Knot-knuckles. “Barnacle-eyes says that without spit beer, we wouldn’t have sailed the sea!”
“Is it easy to make?” said Gabby.
“All you have to do is ptooey,” said Slime-tooth.
When goblins were curious, they had lots of questions. I guess they had so far been keeping their curiosity about Slime-tooth to themselves. Well, they reached their breaking point on that. Slime-tooth was swarmed by goblins, and it seemed like everyone felt it was best to ask all the questions all at once.
“Is it true you bested the blue yeti from the north?”
“Oh, and the purple sea snake at the gate of the black bay! Is that true too?”
“Yeah, I heard you rolled a one hundred on a twenty-sided die. Will you teach me how?”
But some of those stories had come directly from Boggo and Ella’s game campaigns. Slime-tooth had been ever present during those hours in the deckhouse.
“Weren’t you a god once?” said Soft-song.
“Oo! I wanna learn how to be a God! Will you show me how?” said a goblin.
“Me, me, me! Can you teach me how to smite someone?”
“So do you know all the humans now since your beer is famous?”
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“I wanna be famous too! How do I get famous like you, Slime-tooth?”
“What was it like working on a big fleet? Did you get lost a lot, cause I would get lost a lot. But I heard Captain Ella found you. Will you come find me when I get lost?”
“How old are you? I wanna learn how to be old too!”
Slime-tooth was all smiles. He had so many different smiles. Some reached his ears. Some were open smiles. Some smiles were in preparation for a laugh or a gasp or a solid guffaw. Some of his smiles squished his eyes. And for every goblin whose question he did his best to answer, he had a unique smile. I was surprised he wasn’t overwhelmed by all the chatter. But I guess being isolated from the ones you loved made you patient for them when you saw them again.
All ages of goblins seemed to look up to Slime-tooth. Old Wrinkle-twinkle wiggled his toes like he was listening to a great like-a-grandfather tell stories. Even the littlest ones like Gabby were so rapt that their ears were reaching forward. Sometimes it was faster to catch someone’s voice that way.
In a lull of questions, Slime-tooth told us the worst of his experience on Gloom-glower’s fleet. “I spent five days with skeletons and rotting goblins on a figurehead! The sun was the worst, and my head burned with blisters. The ropes gave me scars! But I had Barnacle-eyes’ letter in my pocket to keep me alive.”
Once more he was bombarded with questions. My goblins wanted above all else to understand how Slime-tooth survived the mutiny. But all the questions came again at once.
“Is it true you rode a water horse with a harpoon as big as a star?”
“Is it true that the moon is faster than the sun and you’re even faster than the moon?”
“Can you teach me how to breathe toxic fire too? I want to vanquish enemies like you did in the battle for the pickled shark’s eyes jar!”
“Are you going to take back all the blessings you gave us when we left offerings at your statue?”
I was the only one without questions. I had a ton, but I couldn’t get them out. Watching Slime-tooth have so much fun left me speechless. When he smiled, I smiled. When he laughed, I laughed. I couldn’t take my eyes off his happiness. He deserved all the joy of goblins.
While voices rose to speak over voices, Gabby fell back from the crowd and joined me at the back.
“He’s the best story teller,” she said.
“I learned more than I know from him.”
“There’s something else you might want to know… I saw Gloom-glower’s flag this morning when we sailed through the mist to check for wreckage and goblins. Two of the last sloops had his flag, and they were sailing west.”
“I’m not surprised he made it out alive. And I’m not going to let him get in the way.”
“In the way of what?”
“Of goblins being goblins,” I said, and I nodded at the happy hooting goblins that pressed closer to Slime-tooth. “I’m a goblin too, you know.”
The sky darkened, and Slime-tooth kept smiling and nodding and answering questions. When he had the chance he told stories. Sometimes he laughed so hard that tears trickled down his cheeks.
Before our stock of fish-on-sticks and clams-on-sticks dwindled, everyone offered Slime-tooth something to eat. He declined all the food.
“I never dreamed I would see this much food at my fingertips,” said Slime-tooth. “What a life we’ll share from here on!”
“Will you be a Captain?” said Stink-lip.
“Oh, I won’t be doing much working for a bit. Admiral’s orders. And I’d be too tired for that even if she let me.”
I offered Slime-tooth a bottle of Home Camp beer where he could sleep in peace. “Have another one! There’s lots more!”
“Where is everyone else going to be?” he said.
“On the sloop.”
“Then I’d like to sleep on the sloop. It’s nice to hear goblins again. I’ll fall asleep to that in no time.”
“You can sleep in the deckhouse! There’s a couple of cots in there and it’s super comfortable.”
Like one big ball of green grapes, we surrounded Slime-tooth as we helped him up the gangway of the sloop. Altogether we tucked him in and we stayed by his side, laughing and spitting and picking noses through midnight.