Chapter 73

Mythic Pain

Perage

What were those red fruits? One after another, Thrush gobbled them up. Tsk, the claws of a Nightream were so, so powerful. Without the rest of him, would the claws equal the worth more than my collection combined? Tsk, it was always the most powerful weapon out of my reach.

“You will excuse me,” I said and left the cabin. I felt Thrush’s giant eyes on me as I made my way through the flower strewn land to the trail which Hawkin and Abigail had taken.

Abigail, what with a few bottles of beer that could do some damage. What did Grafth say she had: explosive beers, something ‘slow time’, weightless flight, and dagger conjuring ales? Tsk, only a couple would fetch a few hundred gold. But I hadn’t any beer-weapons in my collection. If at all worth the novelty to further diversify my museum, that worth was only to ask and pay for a few. Certainly not the trouble of hunt-and-kill and especially not with Thrush as a potential enemy. Yes, I should ask her for some just to say I’ve got beer-weapons. Why not have a bit of fun while I’m under the thumb? Tsk.

What a meandering trail down to the sea! A low swooping whistle brought my feather to me. I threw myself into the soft vessel and leaned back against the afterfeather and calamus. Lovely pines those were; and massive oaks; and boulders cleaved with…

…Tsk, a simple forester axe. Those were the marks of a bronze ranked axe bit. Worth less than nothing. But how could easy access to ethereal planes be in the hands of someone silver ranked? Unarmed at that! Tsk, Hawkin was armed with Thrush—that was clear. And if history taught the shrewd anything, it was not to mess with NIghtreams.

Ha! How refreshing to see Grafth so human and patient and oddly cautious. Tsk, bastard deserves it…

Why north? It was too cold, much too cold. Nothing a good pot of puffed rice green tea couldn’t fix. But why did my tea smell like sea salt? Ah!—The Sea! There it was, and look, Hawkin was swinging one foot off the dock while he gazed upon the sea. Pouting, too, probably. Tsk, I would be pouting too if I were stuck at silver rank.

The sand was a good place to leap out of my feather, pour a second cup of tea, and travel the dock.

Tsk, no weapons on him. And where was his Mrs.? Again, did Hawkin need to be armed with Thrush about? Some folks were born lucky. I doubted he had the gall or means to coerce Thrush into servitude. Tsk, what was a fabled Nightream doing with such a hermit? Beyond me, really.

“Good day,” I said. “Tea?”

To my surprise, Hawkin accepted the tea. Unusual. One moment he was defying his fate by speaking back to his betters; the next, he was friendly. Tsk,—odd fellow.

“Good, no? Family recipe; not my family though.”

Hawkin did not crack a smile. “It’s nice.”

He gave me a look that said, “What do you want?”

“I would like to give you the opportunity to settle your predicament.”

“Listen, I-”

“-Before you say anything else, I’d like to confess that we have a real proposition for you. A real point of trade. A true offer.”

“I-”

“-No, no. Grafth’s orders. We are prepared to offer you tax free lodging with the Sisslks. Lady Tais You rears from the Offeff Lagoon—Yes, the very one! Total ownership of a 100 acre estate.”

“-Mr. Vich-”

Was the idiot about to decline? “-Let me stop you once more, Hawkin. I’m talking about the Sisslks. Among the Sisslks. Sisslks live for hundreds of years outside of quest paths. I couldn't bear to hear that you’re ignorant of this— Ah, ah, ah!—let me finish.” Hawkin sighed. “That longevity is half because of their race, and half because of their knack for pushing the boundaries of longevity potions, which can be freely consumed at bars and markets…in such a city such as Offeff…where humans are not allowed in…except for special circumstances…tediously negotiated beforehand…for the rest of your life…with the option to wrap that estate in a trust with beneficiaries…”

“Let me stop you this time. I’m not interested.”

What a perplexing man! Tsk, Grafth was right when he said this was all entertaining.

“There’s more,” I said.

But Hawkin wanted none of it. No rune tattooed with Klick’s blood to summon a rain of fiery battleaxes to smite his enemies with but a touch of mana; not a Lengue ring that summoned tomes of translations for several thousands of languages, no brute power from magma born demons, and no steed made of light and shadow.

Tsk, what a difficult, difficult man.

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“Will you just please sit down,” said Hawkin with that tone again.

“It has been at least a century since I’ve been spoken to like this,” I found myself sharing.

“It’s been how long since you’ve had a real conversation?”

Hawkin was silent for a moment. We finished our tea. Snowflakes twirled by and melted into the sea.

“Beer?”

I sighed. “...sure, why not?”

Hawkin poured a pale gold beer into two silver boots. We struck the rim of our boots together. Crystalline white foam spilled down each boot with a hush and splattered on the dock. I poured one for my brothers and sisters and grandchildren who could not reach Fable rank with me. Then we drank.

Hawkin frowned at his boot. “I can’t get the roast of the crisp malts right.”

“Tell me; what do you want?”

“For you and your company to leave.”

“Besides that. There’s got to be things you need. You are in the presence of great and powerful people. Why not take advantage of that? You could ask for mostly anything.”

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re foolish.”

“No, of the beer.”

“Tsk, well it’s nice. Refreshing. Simple. I’ve had much, much better. Is this a serious question? Do you not realize what someone at my rank is exposed to in the world? The best of everything. Beer included. Is that what you want? I have connections. I can get you a bottle of the finest beers available.”

“I just want to brew the best beer that I can. I’m not interested in adventures—the typical kind—I just want to explore the wilderness and brew the best beer that I can.”

“You have to rank up for that.”

“I do for golden chapter beers, but after that I can take it easy for a while. Those are the beers I want to brew. I don’t care about brewing the best beer in the world…I had a beer once, made by monks. It was one of the best beers I ever had. I want to brew something like that.”

“You’re in a position of growing reputation, you’re a champion title holder, and you have the opportunity to catapult yourself into higher ranks. I have lost friends and family to old age. Do you know what it’s like to lose a grandchild to old age? To see them flash from infant to old man in eighty years? What I would give to have them in your place. I wanted long life for them; here you are actively turning it down.”

“There’s no guarantee I would even get to diamond rank.”

“Little Jiorge didn’t even have the opportunity. What a thing it is to be a grandfather. No matter how old they get, they are still little ones.”

“I’m sorry,” Hawkin said. He poured a libation.

Tsk, what a fool. Doesn’t understand the world at all. Ignorance is bliss; why if he knew more about the world…

“My purpose is here in these woods. Brewing beer is a hobby that I’ve picked up which I love. If I should ever lose my quest path, then I’ll continue brewing without magic. The greatness that I aspire to isn’t long life or tremendous power, Mr. Vich. I want to lay in the snow on bitter mornings and watch the gold sun melt between the trees. Hopefully while enjoying a beer near perfect.”

“There’s something I don’t understand. Why share a beer with me when you’re obviously angry?”

“I can be angry and still share beer at the same time.”

“You don’t use your anger like most people do.”

“I’m doing my best.”

There was little we could do for someone who wanted wilderness and beer. Tsk, even less we could offer for someone so stubborn. He went on and on about beer, he did. Golden chapter beers and all that involved. It was almost boring spending time with him, but I could listen and strategize at the same time.

After our beer, I hopped back into my feather and sailed to our steeds. Grafth’s black horse seemed to suck the light. Its black mane moved like it was made of the shadows of flames. Some of the trees in Hawkin’s woods stood as tall as those in the Forbidden Willow forest, so it was amusing to see something much taller than Grafth’s four story horse.

A simple lean on the calamus of my feather angled it toward the horse’s mouth. The mouth opened and I sailed straight inside, through a tunnel of throat, and into a lavish apartment. Everything was made of timber and bars of iron.

Grafth U’ld stepped out of the shadows.

“Such an entertaining enterprise,” he said.

“I know how we can acquire these planes without disturbing the mood of Thrush.”

“Yes, yes.”

“...but I think it’s time you lift your chokehold.”

“Oh, and you too have a nightream in your pocket?”

I lowered to my knees. “Great one, I have sacrificed so much, and I willingly serve you. I have lived more lives than I can sometimes bear. I’m not asking for much. Just let me progress.”

“Finally, you beg. See? Was that so hard? But tell me this, will you withhold what will get me these planes if I lift the pressure?”

“However tempting it would be, I would still tell you. I want a plane as much as our companions.”

“Your honesty is entertaining. You know how excellent Noble Bartu is at reading body language. He will be reporting to me on Hawkin’s deepest desires, the man’s deepest secrets, and the man’s greatest weaknesses. There are ways to hide torture from Thursh…entertaining ways.”

“Please, great one. Lift the pressure.”

“First tell me how we get our planes.”

“It is as he says it is. The Brewer wants to brew what’s called golden chapter beers, and he must reach gold rank for a good chance at that.”

“Give him golden chapter beers.”

“He wants to brew them himself. That’s his goal. He’s had tremendous difficulty achieving that.”

“Then I know what to do. Noble said that we have a chance of taking advantage of his kindness. Let’s do that.”

“How?”

“We’ll do something nice for him, and he’ll do something nice for us. If he is governed through kindness, let’s take advantage of that until we get what we want.”

“He could still refuse.”

“Not according to Noble.”

“It won’t be hard to see that we’re taking advantage of him.”

“We’ve already made it clear that we’re taking advantage of him. I will keep pushing until we get what we want. I will escalate our tactics until I have my plane.”

“I understand…”

“Kiss the floor.”

The charcoal floorboards tasted like oil and rust. Suddenly a pressure was lifted off my shoulders. Blood rushed my head.

[Congratulations Weapons Collector!]

[You have reached level 20,000!]

[Welcome to Mythic Rank!]

Tsk, finally! As reward after reward burdened my inventory, I interrupted my screams with bouts of vomit.