Chapter 154

Small Family

Barnacle-eyes

Chance of Mutiny: 26%

Big, giant, and huge monstrous fireflies twinkled in the sky. Remember-not was upset that they ruined her observations, and she complained to Knot-knuckles who listened and nodded vigorously. But ever watchful of the sky, my Stargazer noticed a different and familiar light on the horizon. A lime green light.

“The legendary lime smack!” she called.

Goblins rushed across starboard, or port side, or to the bow, or to the stern, depending on which ship they were on. What mattered was that we all rushed for the western view. The legendary lime smack had caught up to us. It seemed as if it were slowly moving northwest.

A firefly crashed into a crowd of goblins on one of my sloops below. It tangled with the goblins. Amid the panicked tussle, its wings beat too fast to be seen, and it lifted from the deck, with poor Knob-of-bugger clinging to its wire-hair mane with dear life. The giant firefly carried Knob-of-bugger off, but the goblin leapt down onto another sloop. He hit the mainsail and tumbled down the shroud, unharmed.

It felt like the fireflies were doubling from the forest every day!

After the commotion, all eyes gazed westward.

We had the chance to catch more jellies, but there were things to attend to before we set out. With my Commodores’ aid we spent the next half day counting supplies and going through the contents of my hoard in the forecastle. As soon as that monthly task was all tallied, I rolled out my sea map. Little Barnacle-eyes flags represented my fleet on the coast. Two were missing, and I frowned.

“What?” I said.

Pinky-chew pointed out the two flags out west on the sea where the lime smack had been spotted. We rushed to the deck and peered west. There they were, two of my sloops, very far out. The lime green of the jellyfish lit the hull with a sharp bright green. When the sea crashed against the hulls, it looked like the sea was green too.

But why did they sail out without saying anything? My ships never sailed out without my command. They always at least asked, and we made the decisions together. With Gloom-glower’s fleet looming right over there, this was the wrong time to sail off without command. What if something happened?

I felt a tug on the bottom of my dress. It was temporary Captain Boggo. He was back from his eavesdropping patrol, so we went to the deckhouse for some privacy.

“Being temporary Captain is hard,” he said. “Whew! I gotta take a seat.” He shed a ton of blue fur from his coat, kneaded it all into a big blue poof, and plopped into it. He clasped his hands over his belly and took a deep, belly-lifting breath. “It’s not good, Admiral. Not good at all.”

“What do you mean? Bumble-shout, Goat-beard, Whisker-mole, and a bunch of others went fishing for the lime jellyfish! Did you know that?”

“I thought you knew. They said they were starving and sped out to sea.”

“Starving? What about all the cheese? What about the onions and the garlic? What about the goblin spuck beer? Why didn’t they say something if they’re hungry?”

“Cause of the rumors; the moldy cheese poison rumors. Goblins are staying far away from cheese, and now pretty much anything that comes from you, Admiral.”

“I can’t blame them for believing rumors,” I said. “Like Slime-tooth always said, goblins are goblins. And I’m glad my captains are fishing the legendary smack while it’s here. How could I refuse them that? I just wish we’d set sail as a fleet. How long have they been out there?”

“All day.”

“Let’s bring them back before it gets too dark.”

The sloops had all day to catch enough to feed everyone on our sloop fifteen times over. Boggo hooped up onto Gabby’s shoulder, and they followed me on deck. Starboard, I belted commands. “Flag bearers! Let’s call back the sloops!”

“Please thank you!”

Goblins formed green ladders and waved return signals with my flags. My monoscope extended with several clicks, and I put my eye through the scope. The sloops on the western horizon had collected so many lime jellyfish that the deck was filled with them and they lit the sails in a bright juicy green. However, instead of packing them in barrels…

“They’re eating the jellyfish! We’re supposed to count them first and then share them!”

One of the flag bearers raised the flag pole to answer our call to return. Captain Bumble-shout snatched the flagpole and threw it down. They then returned to feasting.

“They’re ignoring my command…all the Captains are. Why are they refusing to return and share the catch? We always share our catches. …We’re a family.”

I felt a few little pats on the toe of my boot. I looked into Boggo’s big beady eyes. He gave me a soft sorry smile. Then his expression turned serious.

“I got more to tell you, Barnacle-eyes. Oh boy, you’re not gonna like this.”

“M-more? I don’t know how much more I can take that I’m not gonna like.”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Back in the privacy of the deckhouse, Boggo settled into his poof.

“I kept my ear out like you asked,” he said. “I think one of your Captains has started another faction. It was Handsome-guy. Your goblins seem to like him a lot. He went on and on about how he’d be a better Admiral. Said it wasn’t because he was jealous, but he definitely sounded really, really jealous. He said you didn’t deserve to be Admiral; he said he’d do a way better job since he’s so much better at working than you; and talks better than you; and laughs better; and eats better; and a bunch of other better-than-you stuff. Gee…I’m sorry, Barnacle-eyes.”

“That’s three factions now. My chance of mutiny is twenty-eight percent now! It keeps going up! It’s so annoying, like a sneeze that keeps coming up but not out. What am I doing wrong?”

“No idea. But you should check on Button-lint. He wanted to join the other sloops to catch jellyfish, but he couldn't because there's a tear in his sail and he’s mad at you for it.”

“Mad at me?” I said.

“Says you did it. Something about a warning that he’ll be the next to get poached if he tries to sleep ever again.”

“I don’t remember tearing any sails. And he’s a Captain. Why isn’t he repairing it? He should know who to ask for help.”

Boggo scrambled up my dress and plopped down on my shoulder. I stormed out the deckhouse so fast that he held onto my earlobe so he wouldn’t fall. Gabby padded right behind us. I crossed gangways from my Hand-O’War to galleon, from galleon to ketch, and from ketch to sloop, and from sloop to sloop until I found Captain Button-lint’s sloop. The mainsail had a long vertical tear. I found him napping in his deckhouse.

“Ahem…” I said.

His head lolled, and he opened his eyes. “What are you doing here?” he said.

“What happened to the main sail?”

“Somebody broke it.”

“So why aren’t you trying to fix a problem on your ship, Captain Button-lint? This isn’t very goblin of you.”

“Oh, I’m supposed to do everything while you sit there on your big ship not helping anyone?”

I felt Boggo brace his feet on my shoulder. He said, “Barnacle-eyes is always helping goblins!”

“I’ll believe it when all my goblins see it.” said Button-lint.

“Remember-not promoted Quick-chew as the new sewer, so why didn’t you ask for help?” I said.

“I heard she eats your cheese. Thought she was long gone by now.”

Wow, he was saying this to my face? “How about we ask Quick-chew together? I can introduce you two if you haven't met her yet.”

Button-lint tromped out the deckhouse. “Whatever,” he said. “I’m safer going on my own, anyway. Wouldn’t want to get poached on the way there.”

“Hey!” said Boggo. “That’s no way to talk to your Admiral!” But Button-lint was gone. “…What a lousy guy, that guy…”

“What is going on, Boggo?” I said.

A sharp yelp of pain sounded from a few sloops away. We crossed several gangways until we came to a crowd of goblins. I excused my way through. Poke-things was sitting on an overturned bailing bucket with his blood arm clutched before him. His skin was gashed open, it was bruised all around it, and there were deep scratches beside the wound. Blood dripped from his arm and splattered the deck.

“By Peg-tooth!” I said. “What happened?”

Angle-cheek said, “Poke-things got himself a splinter again. A nasty one this time. Scratch-sniff and Slapped-silly tried to pry it out with some sticks and stuff. Two-bites tried to chew it out.”

A splinter was an easy fix for me! “Oh, I’m good at this!” I said. “I have just the thing.”

I withdrew my trusted rusty pliers from my inventory and approached Poke-things. The instant he saw the pliers click, his eyes went big, and he fell back screaming. Goblins all around me shrank back. Poke-things scrambled back and shrieked even louder. His shrieking drew a much larger crowd of goblins who attempted to make sense of things.

“What’s going on?”

“Is someone getting poached?”

“I don’t want to be next! Not me, not me!”

“Not me too!”

“Someone doesn’t sound good.”

“Do you think he ate the cheese?”

“Is he coming down with the blue mold?”

“Wow, it works so fast!”

“Oh no, Look! Barnacle-eyes has her pliers!”

I took a good look at my tool. “What?” I said. “My pliers?”

“Please don’t!” cried Poke-things. “Please don’t hurt me! I don’t wanna be fed to the Thrush monster!”

I was too stunned to move, to even speak. Thank Peg-tooth for Pinky-chew. She burst through the crowd and snatched the pliers.

“It’s okay, goblins!” she said. “Don’t believe everything you hear! She just wanted to pull the splinter out, see?”

She slid down to a kneel before Poke-things. She swiftly pulled the splinter out from the wound which should have never evolved into a chewed and scratched, bleeding gash.

“See?” she said. “Our Admiral only wanted to help.”

Poke-things’ crew pulled him away as if they felt he were in danger. Goblins began to disperse, but the looks they gave me as they turned away were despicable looks. I felt as if their glares were sharp enough to go through my ribs. I gulped down a big hurt.

On my way back to my Hand-O’War, I watched my boots walk one in front of the other. My mind was so full of thoughts, that I couldn’t hear Boggo or Pinky-chew or Gabby. I mean, I heard them, but I couldn’t pay attention to what they were saying. Whatever they said, they said it softly.

“I’m gonna be alone for a bit,” I said. “Write Slime-tooth a letter.”

Boggo dropped my shoulder. He hit the deck with a fat thunk. He and Pinky-chew worried their hands in front of their bellies.

I opened the hatch and descended two levels to the corridor that led to my forecastle. It was dark, and as I made my way, I heard something clatter at the end. A moment later, a goblin emerged from the dark.

“Gloat-Haha,” I said. “What are you doing down here?”

“Got lost.”

“Are you hungry? Here, take whatever you need, okay?” I offered a big chunk of onion.

“Gross. Like I would eat anything you touch. Can I just go? You talk a lot sometimes. Pretty much all the time. And I can’t just listen to you ‘blah, blah, blah’ all day. Anyway, I gotta go do some stuff somewhere.”

What? Why was everyone mean? I found myself once again too shocked to say anything right away. By the time I found something to say to speak up for myself, Gloat-haha and skipped up the stairwell.

I sulked the rest of the way down the corridor. I unlocked the forecastle and put my hand on the knob. I froze before I opened it. In the light of a porthole, I found an item on the ground. It was a coin that had been hammered thin into the length and size of a lock pick. The lock had scratches all around it. The wood of the door frame beside the knob and hinges had deep scratches.

At that moment, my chance of mutiny jerked up to 34%.

I slumped to my butt. What was going on? It was the rumors, wasn’t it? Everything was getting out of control, and I felt seasick. Why was my new family doing this to me? Were they really my family? Having to ask myself that was painful enough to blur my eyes. My tears fell onto my dress.

Of course they were my family. Pinky-chew was. Gabby was. Boggo was. WAit, what about Ella? Was Boggo temporary Captain because Ella didn’t like me either? My family felt suddenly very small, and I missed Slime-tooth with every piece of my heart.