Chapter 160
No One to Help
Barnacle-eyes
Chance of Mutiny: 86%
“Gloom-glower-ho!” called Boggo from the crow’s nest once again.
Gloom-glower’s fleet was already upon us. Watching thousands of sloops suddenly swoop in was like watching a crescent bay swing itself around. There were so many ships that their movement made the sea come alive in harsh crashes. Gloom-glower’s conjoined ship plowed the sea straight for mine.
[Chance of Mutiny: 87%]
With every one of Gloom-glower’s sloops that lurched toward me with full blown sails, the whispers of my goblins grew louder. Boggo’s shrieks pierced the air like the clang of a bright bell.
[Chance of Mutiny: 88%]
“Do something, Admiral!” said Roll-forward.
“Come on, stupid! Do something!” said Blister-bubble
[Chance of Mutiny: 89%]
“Only thing she knows how to do is talk!” said Brow-vein. “We’re all gonna die while she just talks, talks, talks!”
My goblins began hopping in panic. They scurried along the taffrails and bumped into each other. They scrambled like startled cats.
It had only been a few moments since Boggo had first shouted lookout. There was still time to swiftly move out. I didn’t think Gloom-glower was moving his entire fleet over just to say hello.
“Churn the capstan!” I said. “Raise the sails!”
“Please thank you!”
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[WARNING. Chance of mutiny has reached 90%.]
[Chance of mutiny is now in the red zone.]
[Ally headcount has begun.]
[If enough goblins no longer recognize you as the leader, system mutiny mechanics will commence.]
Our sails weren’t being raised. Capstans weren’t being churned. My goblins were either bickering with each other, or blatantly refusing to work. They watched and smiled while I tried to gather the help to escape. Was this the beginning of the mutiny?
Who exactly wanted me gone? Double-cross definitely wanted me gone. Talk-backer also wanted me gone. On the other hand, who was loyal to me? Gabby was most certainly loyal. I could count on Pinky-chew to stay by my side. But for the other hundreds of goblins, I didn’t know who I could trust. Probably Old Wrinkle-twinkle…
I spun around to try and pick out the goblins I could safely assume would be loyal to me. If I could gather enough of them, we could churn the capstan together and—
Sudden cannon fire disrupted my thoughts. Several cannons exploded. Harpoons whistled through the air from Gloom-glower’s ship. Harpoon lines wiggled behind each harpoon. My Hand-O’War took the barbs of each harpoon with splintering thwacks. I felt the sound from the floorboards through my boots.
The harpoon lines were reeled on giant spools beside Gloom-glower’s turrets by at least sixty goblins. My ship rolled, but it was Gloom-glower’s ship that started closing the distance.
That was it. My ship was stuck. We’d have to cut the lines. Before we did that, I needed to warn the rest of my fleet to flee.
“Raise the flags!” I said. “Signal retreat!”
I sprinted for the mainmast and climbed the rope shroud. With one hand blocking the sun, I peered out at my fleet. They were sailing in, and each Captain was smiling wickedly. They sailed close enough to scrape their sloops and ketches against my Hand-O-War. Goblins rushed to drop their gangway up to my ship. Gangways creaked as they rose and fell. One by one they smacked against my ship. Wood beat on wood. Gangways crashed through my taffrails. Goblin feet soon pounded across the planks. Goblins rushed aboard, baring their teeth like a school of green piranha. Captain’s boots thundered across the deck as they came to surround me. Snickers ang glares and jeers haunted me from my goblins.
A massive boom of wood striking wood shook the Hand-O’War. Gloom-glower’s gangway was the largest by far. Goblins dove out of the king’s way as he ascended. His boots thwacked the gangway with such ominous volume that a disquiet settled over all the goblins. A horde of goblins trailed him and Stub-toes.
He strode aboard my ship like he was stepping into a soothing hot spring. He seemed to take it all in: the sails, the floorboards, the taffrails, the masts, the plants… His eyebrows bounced like he was impressed.
Stub-toes, wearing a strange harness and holding a knife, stayed close to Gloom-glover's side. The little goblin looked worse for wearing that harness. His hands were so swollen, they looked like big green mushroom caps. His fingers looked like sausages. He seemed dazed.
Gloom-glower patted his belly and smiled. “Long time no talk from you, Barnacle-lice! And what a nice silence it’s been. My snots tell me you’ve sailed around the world to fetch the best of the best for your king. Why I hear you’ve even built these ships just for me! Trying to buy my forgiveness is a good trick, but it won’t work. I can forgive all your talking, even though it’s annoying as hell. But I can’t forgive all your evil deeds. Goblin poacher! Cheese poisoner! Plier torturer! Isn’t that right, snots? By Peg-tooth, I promise that this murderer will be brought to justice for all her crimes against goblins. I hear she’s even hoarding raids from her poor, poor goblins. Rest assured, we’ll perform hundreds of thousands of raids under my command. Join me, little goblins, and all the loot will trickle down until every one of you little snots becomes rich! So how about we do this nice and easy, Barnacle-lies. You’re gonna skip the part where you try to talk your way out of it with your buts and your ands and your manipulations. Now shut up and get off my ship. I’m commandeering everything.”