Chapter 164
Capture the Flag
The air before Thrush sliced open. Bright white light emitted from the gash. It was like trying to look into a star that was way too close. Thrush stepped into the slice like he had to first put one leg over a small fence. After he entered, the slice closed up without a trace.
Stampeding goblins replaced the view. They trampled goblin noses, legs, ribs, arms, and toes. They shrieked hysterically, screamed with bloodlust, and cried out the names of goblin gods.
And what a show the goblin gods must be watching. The dark green flags on thousands of ships suddenly bleached white. The distant ships fizzled with goblins. They reminded me of the carbonation of beer that leapt from foam. Thousands of monster fireflies carried goblins off into the world.
Those flags began changin. They began filling out with colors and images in the blink of an eye. One flag turned brown. In its center, two squinting eyes appeared by a spreading stain of white. Almond-gaze must have captured the hoard. Another flag turned blue, and the image of a wet thumb manifested in the middle. That had to belong to Suck-thumb. Dented-skull’s flag depicted a green caved-in skull with cracks that ran from the dent to the jaw. A sleeping goblin was depicted on yet another flag at its very bottom, and I recognized that goblin. It was most certainly Laze-lay. Orange suddenly stained a white flag. A bumpy tongue filled the whole flag a moment later. I couldn’t believe Wart-tongue was still alive! She was an old goblin. Pierce-nose was another older goblin, and I could tell by the multiple rings in the nostril of a giant nose that the flag belonged to them.
They were good goblins, and they looked out for their snots. I needed to look out for mine too, which meant I had to start with Slime-tooth. What if he got hurt? What if his ship sank with him on it? He could drown, or he could get trampled. Scenarios circled my mind, and I saw changing depictions of his death.
“Gabby!” I said. “Pinky-chew!”
I knew they would help me, but I couldn’t find them. Goblins maddeningly ransacked the ship. They cut into onions and garlics, they tore at the vines, they pilfered whatever they could find in barrels, and they shoved into the hatch. It seemed that every goblin aboard wanted to try and commandeer the Hand-O’War. That left the jolly boats, swinging on their davits, untouched—but only for a moment.
I raced to the jolly boats, elbowing my way through goblins. I pulled myself over shoulders and slithered over heads. I pushed between backs and pulled on limbs like they were ropes. Goblins were commandeering the jolly boats just as I got to them. I leapt into one and unleashed it from its davit. The jolly boat plummeted in a tip and hit the water with a smack.
I tumbled between thwarts, and then I beat the sea with my paddle. Goblins treaded water, and my jolly boat bumped into Wide-waddler.
“Help!” he said.
“Grab my hand!” I said.
I heaved Wide-waddler over the gunwale. He tumbled in and rolled onto his back.
“Have you seen Slime-tooth?” I said.
Wide-waddler shook his head as he closed his eyes and panted.
“Please save me!” said a floundering goblin.
It was Slither-lisp, and I hauled her aboard.
A pair of small green hands clutched the gunwale. “Pull me up!” said Dimple. “Up! Up!”
Wide-waddler and Slither-lisp helped yank Dimple aboard.
“Have you seen Slime-tooth?” I asked Dimple.
“Saw him on a figurehead a week ago!” he said.
How terrible! And that was no help at all. Which one?
I scrambled for the paddle and with it I smacked the sea. The other goblins aboard used their bare hands to help paddle us forward. We paddled right into a group of goblins that were spilling off of a sinking ship.
“Get the goblins!” I said.
One by one, we pulled them aboard. The jolly boat became too full to take on any more. I had barely enough room to paddle.
“Row!” I said. “This way!”
But we went nowhere! The goblins were all paddling in different directions. Now was not the time to train them.
“Good luck!” I said, and I dove overboard.
I swam past water-gurgling goblins. Dumb-happy was one of them, and he dog-paddled to me and climbed my back. I was pushed underwater. When I grunted, bubbles blew from my lips and shot to the surface of the sea. Dumb-happy’s heels beat my head and my shoulders and my spine. I had to wrestle him off of me, and I struggled with panic to breach.
Wreckage from the sunken ship broke the surface. I led Dumb-happy over and helped him and other goblins onto a panel of wreckage that floated like a raft.
“Slime-tooth?” I said. “Have you seen Slime-tooth?”
“Isn’t he on Gloom-glower’s ship?” said Dumb-happy.
Sneeze-faker pulled himself up onto the wreckage. “Sometimes,” he said. “He’s usually on the dark ship with the barrels.”
Gloom-glower’s conjoined ship loomed right over us. Goblins were tumbling over the taffrail and splashing into the sea. I swam to the ship through water-gobbling goblins and hundreds of bumping bailing buckets. The mixed material that made the hull was easy to grasp onto and easy to climb.
Aboard the conjoined ship the white flag turned bright orange and a black illustration of a crescent smile and triangular teeth stained the fabric. It must have been Pumpkin-teeth that successfully commandeered Gloom-glower’s old ship.
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It must have been quite a battle, because goblins were just as voracious about brawling over this ship as they were for the Hand-O’War. I fought my way through the horde of goblins, avoiding as many claws and yellow teeth as I could.
When I got tackled to the deck, someone’s jaw clenched around my arm. Their fangs broke my skin, and the pain drove me to shriek. I jabbed the goblin in the eyes which released my arm from their biting vice. I jumped to my feet as if staying down a half second more would be the end of me.
“Slime-tooth!” I said.
I shoved goblins out of my way until I made it to the shroud which circled the main mast. I climbed it, and gazed around at the fleet.
Flags were blinking colors everywhere! The fleet looked like a color changing quilt. One of the flags had an image of an arm bent in the wrong place, and I knew it was Broke-arm’s flag. Another green flag had an illustration of a fast hand. That had to be Slip-steal’s new ship. A bright yellow flag suddenly flashed, and a purple gaseous image filled the space. It belonged to none other than Crouch-farter. A fleshy pink flag bore a picture of two cheeks being crushed. Just below that flag, I saw Captain Squeeze-wheeze celebrate around goblins with raised hands. They were probably already asking for a promotion. A shiny black flag with images of tied knots flapped in the wind. If there was any goblin that should be Captain, it was most certainly Braid-back. She was a fierce goblin; she could survive anything.
Others weren't as able to survive as she was. Hundreds of bobbing goblins flailed at sea. Their arms should be used for swimming, not flailing! A group of them suddenly vanished, and I frowned. They didn’t sink, they just vanished in thin air. Another group of goblins beside them vanished a moment later.
On the other side of the ship Thrush sped through the water with insane speed. He aimed for a group of goblins that were screaming for help. Thrush stretched his massive mouth so wide that his cheeks split into stringy strands. He scooped the goblins up into his maw, imprisoning the goblins behind bars of fangs and bars of ripped cheek flesh. Goblins limbs poked out between those bars.
“No eating, Thrush!” I said. “Save them!”
Around a mouthful of at least eleven goblins, Tuhrsh said, “I can carry more this way.”
Then he sped to the coast, leaving behind a wake that rolled over wreckage and goblins until smashing into the hulls of nearby sloops.
Wet-pants rode the wave created by the wake. He cried for help, and our gazes met.
“Hold on!” I said.
I emptied a nearby barrel of fresh water, rolled the barrel to the taffrail, and heaved it overboard. It bounced in the water. Wet-pants clung to the rim and hauled himself inside.
“Go that way to the coast!” I said.
It wasn’t only fresh water that swirled around my bare feet. My own blood was mixed in there. It was streaming down my bit arm. Ignoring the throbbing, I sucked a deep breath, leapt from the shroud, and thrashed my way through goblins. Just as I descended below deck, I saw the flag change to a stripe of brown-green scabs. Stripe-scars must have defeated Pumpkin-teeth as the new Captain of Gloom-glower’s old conjoined ship.
“Slime-tooth!” I said as I explored the ship.
Adrenaline felt like an infinite strength. I bashed my way through the cargo hold and as many corridors as I could. Without goblins to bail, water was seeping in through the walls. The ship was slowly sinking. I scoured the ship. I even dunked my head below the water just to be sure that Slime-tooth wasn’t sleeping on the lowest floor.
He was nowhere to be found, and when I emerged back on deck, the flag was new. It was blue, and lips ran diagonally across the flag over angry teeth. Dogs-growl had captured the hoard from Stripe-scars.
More and more ships were losing their white flags. Wax-noble ‘s flag was bright yellow, and in the middle was a figure that looked resolute about something—I don’t know what. The sloops beside that one had a purple flag with two green hands with specific fingers. I’d seen Sign-hands make those exact same hand signs before. There were also two of the same flags on two different sloops! Both flags were brown with black caterpillars on them. Ah, it was Bush-brow that commandeered both sloops! Pink-lip’s flag was white with a big fat smooch in the middle. Foul-scowl had a multi-hued green flag with a dangerous eyebrow on it.
But none of those flags belonged to the dark ship that Sneeze-faker had mentioned. Then I saw it. It’s flag had an incomplete ear on a red background. There were two goblins it could have belonged to, but my guess was that it was Ear-tipped’s.
Oh, I hoped Slime-tooth was aboard Ear-tipped’s ship. I threw myself overboard and smacked into the sea. As I swam past struggling goblins, some of them tried to climb me.
“No! No, don’t climb me. Follow me! Swim like this.”
Jagged-sad and a few other goblins were able to follow me as I led them to the hull of the dark ship. We held onto the mixed material of the hull with all our strength because the waves tried to smash us off.
“Have you seen Slime-tooth?” I asked Jagged-sad.
“He’s supposed to be on this ship, but we’re not allowed to see him.”
It was tough climbing the hull, but I chewed my tongue until I hauled myself up. Along the way, I heard water trickle into the ship from the hull. As soon as I was aboard, the flag altered to show a green itchy head on a red background. Scratch-scalp was the new Captain. He must have had it easier than other Captains because there weren’t many goblins aboard.
“Slime-tooth!” I said as I threw myself below deck. “Has anyone seen Slime-tooth!”
The ship was very dark below deck. Water sloshed along the floor of every level, and there were a ton of barrels. I bumped into goblins, but they didn’t fight me over it. A goblin checking behind barrels must not have seemed like a threat to them.
I checked under barrels too, just in case Slime-tooth was sleeping in one of them. In my search, I found no sign of my like-a-father.
When I returned above deck a flock of fireflies flew just over my head. Goblins dangled from the monstrous hairy legs, goblins straddled their backs, goblins clutched their hairy manes, and some goblins slipped off and plummeted to the sloop deck or to the sea.
“Slime-tooth! It’s me! Where are you?”
Thirty sloops away, I saw a flag change into Gloom-glower’s dark green flag. Then it changed to an orange flag with a red hand print in the middle. Palm-stunner must have just captured the hoard from Gloom-glower’s attempt to recover something in the mutiny.
Goblins were still vanishing at sea. Thrush rose like a monstrous fish bear to capture more goblins in his mouth-cage. Pinky-chew came zooming between sloops on a jolly boat, propelled by her breath. She was yanking goblins out of the water and piling them between the thwarts. Stumble-not was with her, but I couldn’t spy Boggo or Captain Ella. What happened to the sloop besties?
I gazed back at my old Hand-O’War. The flag had Gabby’s cheeky face on it. Then it changed to Sharp-Elbow’s flag.
Oh where could Slime-tooth be? He wasn’t on Gloom-glower’s old conjoined ship; he wasn’t on the dark ship.
I peered around at the flags, hoping to see one of Slime-tooth. Two of the nearest flags were definitely not Slime-tooth’s. If I had to guess, they were Comb-under’s and Foggy-squinter’s. I recognized the speckled flag of Lice-louser. The ship rolled onto its side and sank. Cheese-pits flag became stained over by Runs-in-sleeps, before Cheese-pits was carried across the deck and thrown overboard.
There were still thousands more flags. Tons of them were sinking without goblins to bail them. Where did I need to look next for Slime-tooth? How could I find him in time?
I braced myself on the taffrail. My legs and arms were shaking so much from running and swimming and protecting myself from skirmishing goblins.
An overburdened firefly slammed into the sea. Its wings slapped at the waves as it kicked with its legs. When its butt blinked, a big ball of light flashed underwater. I saw the silhouettes of sinking goblins in the flashes. Overhead, some goblins had gotten hold of Pinky-chew’s bags of breath. They zipped across the sky, holding tight to the defaulting bags.
“Slime-tooth!” I called to the sea.
There was no other option. I leapt overboard once more and slammed into the sea. I had to check the sloops one by one until I found him. The closest sloop sunk before I could get to it. More than a hundred goblins bobbed on the choppy sea where it went down. Their haunting wails were sure to give me nightmares.
“Slime-tooth!” I said as I felt a stitch in my ribs.