Chapter 100

Farther and Further

(Barnacle-eyes)

Chance of Mutiny: 11%.

150 levels until fleet evolution.

I was part of the flood of goblins that surged through the door to Toad Sk’Inn. The inn had already been packed, and with the deluge of new goblins, patrons climbed up bamboo ladders in droves.

There was lashed together bamboo everywhere. The most common construction was the ladder. Up, up the ceiling went. It was the tallest goblin building I had ever seen. My galleon’s mast could have fit inside with Boggo and Ella only barely able to touch the ceiling. Goblins perched on the hundreds of rungs above. Occasional bits of food and dribblings rained down. So many feet bottoms! It was so loud, I had to think even louder.

Behind the bar, brown beer and liquor were being poured from pillage-earned barrels. Those were certainly human names branded on the staves.

I had only just got my bearings when a loud goblin slung his beer in an arc. He stood on a ladder rung in the middle of the inn and leaned out toward the crowd. Hundreds of goblins quieted. I knew that face! Was it really Wrinkle-knuckle from Lap-some-sandwich?

Wrinkle-knuckle pointed at a goblin high near the ceiling. “It didn’t matter that the harpoon turret was broken!”

Oh, it was lore time! I leaned upon the back of a stranger goblin and put my chin in my hands. What were we in store for?

“How’d he get the whale?” someone asked.

“King Slime-tooth took the harpoon out himself and he went starboard!”

This was a Slime-tooth lore! All the way in Lurk-Murky?

“Not true,” said sometwo. “Harpoons are heavy!”

“That’s what you have to understand. Harpoons are as heavy as a horse, but King Slime-tooth has the strength of two hundred and one hundred goblins! He raised the harpoon higher than he could reach and launched it!”

“What kind of a sort of type of whale?”

“It had big eyes! Each as tall as a goblin! And it had teeth as long as orc tusks! And it had bear claws!

“Wow! What a whale!”

“That’s not the end…It was King Slime-tooth who single-handedly hoisted the whale aboard. The whale stood on two legs and ate a whole ship’s worth of goblins!”

“Did King Slime-tooth die?”

I gasped as the crowd froze as one. The goblin I rested my elbows upon stiffened. Oh no! Did something happen to Slime-tooth? King? How have I not heard this story before?

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“King Slime-tooth battled the whale with his fists! They fought for a whole month while the ship slowly sank.

“Did he die?”

“King Slime-tooth defeated the whale and thousands of goblins had whale meat for ten years! …And that was the battle of Slime-tooth and the whale bear.”

Goblins broke into their own conversations. It was like time had thawed and was warm and goblins came back to life. I heard Slime-tooth’s name so many times at once, I couldn’t count fast enough to keep up.

A tug on my dress brought me out of my thoughts. I was escorted to the bar with Gabby trailing behind. As we made our way through the choppy sea of goblins, I picked up tons of Slime-tooth lore.

“I heard Slime-tooth made a frog once. That’s where frogs come from.”

“King Slime-tooth gives free beer to all his snots.”

“They say he’s this tall!”

“I met him once. The kingest goblin I ever met.”

“He rides a horse like humans do. On his ship.”

I arrived at the bar. Wrinkle-knuckle was there refilling.

“Barnacle-eyes! It’s you!”

“I know it’s me! Wrinkle-knuckle!”

We embraced with a hug and a couple of jumps. Gabby clapped and hopped beside us. Wrinkle-knuckle grabbed the attention of the bartender.

“Reed-eater, this is Barnacle-eyes. She knows King Slime-tooth personally.”

Wow! Reed-eater had the most beautiful smile I ever saw. It went everywhere at once!

“You do?” said Reed-eater. “Wow, you do? Pleased to meet you!”

Wrinkle-knuckle put an elbow on the bar. “Say, do you still have any spit beer?”

“Of course I do, I have lots.”

To Reed-eater, Wrinkle-knuckle said, “You see? That’s how she knows King Slime-tooth. She’s got goblin spit beer.”

Reed-eater narrowed her eyes. “Heard of it. What’s it got to do with King Slime-tooth?”

“Well, Slime-tooth manages ptooey production,” I said.

“Really? From Slime-tooth himself?”

“She sold some to Green-fin. Why don’t you sell some here?”

“Oh could you?” Reed-eater said with something like stars in her eyes. “The human stuff is okay, but some nice goblin stuff would be a dream! But go easy on me; I don’t know if I could afford something from a King goblin.”

“I’ll have to summon Thrush to sell the beer. He writes the contracts and sells the beer and transports the beer. But wait, what happened to King Gloom-glower?”

Another goblin leaned down from the bottom of a hanging ladder. “Died. I think by smite. Slime-tooth’s meteor smashed him.”

All this new information about Slime-tooth! He did it. He really did it. Just as I was leveling up and becoming the best goblin I could be, so was Slime-tooth! How amazing was it that he rose through the ranks and defeated Gloom-glower with a smite? Ah, I knew he could do it! He was the best goblin of course!

But then my heart felt heavy and sharp, like I’d swallowed a pointy. I should have been there to be proud of him when he became King. We should have celebrated together.

My heart then felt sharper. I missed him so so much. It seemed that the farther I traveled, not only did I feel farther from Slime-tooth, I felt further from him too. One by distance, the other from knowing him.

Months and months and weeks and days of hearing all these new stories about him. The first dozen new stories about Slime-tooth had been so exciting. It had been a chance for me to feel closer to him and miss him a little less. But as more and more new stories came out, It turned out I was learning new things about Slime-tooth left and right and up and down. Everyone else seemed to know Slime-tooth better than me.

And now, with every new story, things felt like they were going backwards—that was the further and further part of it all—I was actually knowing him less and less than I thought I did.

Some of the stories were from when I was a snot on Gloom-glower’s fleet. Did Slime-tooth hide things from me? Was he going through the same thing? I doubted there were stories about me, but was Slime-tooth forgetting about me? Especially now that he was king?

I’m getting to know him less and less everyday… It feels like my heart is further out to see than my ship…